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Zombie Pirates

February 9th, 2010
Pirate Flag

Public Domain Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons

The Accidental (and Ironic) Pirate

While researching different authors perspectives on e-book piracy, I tripped over a blog post by a New York Times Bestselling Author. Let’s call her Jenn. (Not her real name) Jenn’s blog post explains how piracy affects people she knows in the music industry, and her own career as an author. She experiences the direct impact of piracy firsthand, and she is clearly against the theft of intellectual property.

And yet the irony is that Jenn, herself, is a pirate.

That’s right. A New York Times Bestselling Author, a person who is directly affected by pirates stealing electronic versions of her work, a person who knows and understands piracy and even fears that it may be destroying the publishing industry…

…is a pirate herself.

At the top of her article, she used a graphic of a pirate flag which looks similar to the one at the upper-right of this post.

Unfortunately, the watermark on the image Jenn used shows it to be a copyrighted image, unlicensed and unapproved for public use.

Its ironic (in lots of ways) that an author opposed to piracy would use a pirated version of a pirate flag in her anti-piracy post.

You probably noticed that I’m not linking to Jenn or providing her real name. I’ve informed the author of her indiscretion, and she took the image down immediately. I know Jenn didn’t mean to use an image without permission. But there’s something we can all learn from this, and this simple oversight by someone who should know better hits the nail on the head with an aircraft carrier.

Jenn is a particular kind of pirate, one most people don’t think of when they talk about pirates. I’m calling this type of pirate a Zombie Pirate.

Dead Pirate image courtesy Casey West

Dead Pirate image courtesy Casey West

Zombie Pirates

Jenn never meant to break the law, she simply didn’t know better. She didn’t know the image was copyrighted. There’s tons of free graphics on the internet and she grabbed that one just like it was any other.

Full stop. Let’s reword that thought quickly and play it back again:

Jenn never meant to break the law, she simply didn’t know better. She didn’t know the music was copyrighted. There’s tons of free songs on the internet and she grabbed that one just like it was any other.

And again:

Jenn never meant to break the law, she simply didn’t know better. She didn’t know the e-book was copyrighted. There’s tons of free e-books on the internet and she grabbed that one just like it was any other.

I call this Zombie Piracy because the people doing it have their brains turned off. They know piracy is wrong, (Hells, Jenn just blogged a whole post about how piracy was damaging her personally!)  but they don’t realize they are doing it. They aren’t paying attention.

Here is another example of Zombie Piracy performed by a national commercial newspaper!

How about people who install torrent clients, unaware that they’ve just turned their computers into webhosts for copyright media files.

Brain. Turned. Off.

Causes of Zombie Piracy

Granted, there are some people who opt-in to Zombie Piracy by embracing their own ignorance. Copyright law is confusing, (even to newspapers and bestselling authors, apparently) and it takes a bit of work to dig up the owner and copyright status of any electronic file. Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, right? So they throw their hands up and say, “Aw Hells, I dunno!”  Then Right-Click, Save-As, and live the life of the blissfully ignorant zombie pirate.

There are websites out there that make it easy for the casual user to become a Zombie Pirate… they’re called search engines.

Jenn found her pirate flag graphic using the ubiquitous Google Image Search. But Google can’t be blamed for Zombie Piracy.  Knowing the copyright status of the media is the users responsibility. To their credit, Google does provide the lukewarm warning, “Image may be subject to copyright” beside every graphic it presents.

Threat Level of Zombie Pirates

I suspect the Zombie Pirate is the most common of the pirate types. I also suspect they are the easiest to cure.

Unlike other types of pirates, Zombie Pirates don’t intend any harm. They would be likely to buy a song, graphic or e-book if they knew they were supposed to pay for it. In that respect, these pirates do cost the industries in potential lost sales.

They’re also the most likely to get caught, because they aren’t aware they are doing anything wrong, so they also aren’t aware that they should cover their tracks. But Piracy is Piracy right? The music and publishing industry think so, and history has  proven that they don’t accept ignorance as an excuse.

The Cure for Zombie Piracy

In Left 4 Dead, the cure for Zombies is the combat shotgun. But the cure for Zombie Piracy is awareness.

Remember this: All artwork is copyright of the artist immediately upon creation by default.

Assume that any media you come across on the web is copyright, and it’s your responsibility to track down the usage rights before you use it.  You should have the copyright source and status of media you use, just like you should be able to provide proof-of-purchase for physical products that you own.

If you are looking for free media, your best bet is to look for items which are in the Public Domain. That stuff is FREE as in, EFF ARR double “E”.

You can also look at media released under Creative Commons licensing, but be careful. The umbrella term “Creative Commons” doesn’t mean “Free.” There are different license types within Creative Commons which have different requirements or restrictions. Explanations of Creative Commons licenses can be found here: http://creativecommons.org/about/licenses

And please, if you are going to use Google Image Search, make sure to use the Advanced Search Settings and under “Usage Rights” select from the list of available filters.

Better yet, check out this post which lists a plethora of sources for free media.

Now you know. Turn. Brain. On.

ZeroLogo2_50x50Yours Darkly,
-Conrad Zero

Categories: Author, Blogging, Culture, Etiquette

Free Media, or How to Not Be a Zombie Pirate

February 7th, 2010

Resources for Free Media

To help prevent the spread of Zombie Piracy, I’ve collected some resources to help you find media files (audio, video, e-books etc…) which are free to use. Make sure to read and adhere to the terms of use carefully. Some media might not be free (or even usable) for commercial purposes, author attribution might be required, or there may be other conditions:

Free Media (Images, Sounds, Video, etc…)

Free Pictures and Graphics:

  • Morguefile.com/ Free images for use even in commercial applications, but you cannot claim ownership of, or resell the images.
  • Flickr.com A popular picture-sharing site. The copyright and usage info for each picture can be found under “Additional Information”
  • Google Image Search is useful for finding free pictures and graphics, if you know how to use it. Use the  Advanced Search Settings and under “Usage Rights” select from the list of available filters.
  • Deviantart.com has tons of amazing art, but not all of it is free. You have to look at the details for each picture to see the copyright restrictions.

Free Sounds and Music:

Free E-books:

If you know of other good sources for free-to-use material, please post them in the comments section.

Here are some bonus features for you to think about as you download all that “free” media…

Fair Use?

Those who want to know the truth about “Fair Use” can get it straight from the horse’s mouth here: http://www.copyright.gov/fls/fl102.html

But here is all you really need to know, from the website:

The distinction between fair use and infringement may be unclear and not easily defined.

and this:

The safest course is always to get permission from the copyright owner before using copyrighted material.

Besides, you don’t really want to argue over the definition of “Fair Use” in court, right? It isn’t worth it.

One thing you can do to help avoid issues from the start is…

Attribution of Your Sources

Some “free” media require you to attribute the author/source/owner of the media. Attribution is simply mentioning the copyright holder. This could be as simple as putting their name near a quote like this:

Twitter is about as useful as a wet-nap is to a scuba diver.

-Conrad Zero

Or it could be listing the copyright holder in the tag of an mp3 file or movie credits.

Seems like every copyright holder has a different definition of “attribution” which makes it a pain in the ass to seem compliant.  I imagine that’s probably why very few websites actually do it. And even proper attribution to the copyright holder is no protection from accusation of unfair use. But providing attribution (even if it isn’t a requirement of use) certainly makes you look better, both online and in a court of law.

For more on attribution, check out this news article on the Blog Herald discussing “How to Provide Attribution in the Blogging World” or, examples of Copyright Attibution for Creative Commons Media(pdf).

And while WordPress thoughtlessly strips links out of image captions, making it near impossible to attribute graphics, this kind soul has developed a working solution, which I now implement here at conradzero.com.

Commercial/Business use

Much of the “free” media is only free for non-commercial use. As you can imagine, the definition of “Commercial Use” has become a slippery topic. If you have Google Adwords running on your personal blog, is that “Commercial”? What if you use your blog as a focal point for adding readers to an e-mail list where you send out ‘exclusive offers’? What if you have a Paypal ‘Donate’ button at the bottom of your site?

Again, I recommend erring on the side of caution. If you are making money, then you should use media that allows for commercial use.

Editing, Remixing and Derivative Works

If you plan on editing a graphic, pic, sound file or video, make sure the usage license allows for derivative works, otherwise contact the media’s copyright holder for permission.

Other Resources

For more info on copyright and usage, visit http://www.copyright.gov (and specifically, this pdf on copyright basics: http://www.copyright.gov/circs/circ1.pdf )

Another useful resource is http://www.chillingeffects.org/ Need help sending a Cease and Desist because someone is using your media without your permission? Need help because you got a Cease and Desist? Chilling Effects helps non-lawyers like you and me understand the nuts and bolts behind the new-online-legalness.

ZeroLogo2_50x50Yours Darkly,
-Conrad Zero

5 Simple Ways to Make Twitter Automatically AutoMagical

January 14th, 2010

The Future of TwitterAutomatic for the Tweeple

Welcome to 2010. Strangely, the things we’ve expected to be available like flying cars and holodecks… aren’t. Instead, we have the ability to communicate out to the entire internet-connected world and tell them what we had for dinner using Twitter.com. Yay.

For those who still don’t know the difference between Twitter and a tweet, read this post.

Believe it or not, Twitter does have uses beyond the obvious time-suck. For anyone wanting to cast their social network a little wider, Twitter is as simple as it gets. If nothing else, it offers more links back to your content. The act of sending tweets isn’t difficult, but who wants to deal with following/unfollowing people and cut-n-pasting blog post links into a tweet? Sounds like more upkeep than it’s worth for just another link back to your blog. If there was only a way to automate the process…

Well you’re in luck, because I have some tips that turn Twitter into your slave, and make it automatically administrate and update  itself with content for you!  Real content too, not the B.S. jokes and quotes the New Media Spambags are pumping out.

If you don’t do Twitter because you have no idea what to tweet about, take advantage of these simple tips to get some auto-tweeting working for you. If you are already a tweetmaster, these tips are an easy way to add some content and housekeeping to your existing regimen.

If you don’t have one already, set up an account at Twitter.com then follow these simple tips to make Twitter work for you:

1 – Automate Twitter Using SocialOomph

SocialOomph.com (formerly known at TweetLater) has a terrible name, but does some wonderful auto-administration of your Twitter account. It’s totally worth the [FREE] that they charge.

Set up an account at SocialOomph and add your Twitter account credentials. Yes, that means sharing your Twitter account username and password . Don’t worry, they’re good for it.

Once your Twitter account is added, click ‘edit’ and check the following options:

  • Auto-follow people who follow you.
  • Auto-unfollow people who unfollow you.
  • Automatically e-mail you a list of Twitter replies. You’ll get a condensed e-mail of Twitter replies people sent to you, so you never have to check on Twitter to see if you’re missing anything.
  • Automatically send a welcome message to new followers. Make sure to type in a short message which will be sent to everyone who follows you. Here’s mine:

Thanks for the follow! You can check out more of my dark-fiction-author-nonsense at conradzero.com

Tweet you later!
-Conrad Zero

Note: You can also use SocialOomph to upload a bunch of pre-written tweets and schedule them to post at certain dates/times, but that means you have to write tweets and upload them. I figured I would point this out because it’s a handy consolidation of work, but it isn’t exactly automatic.

2 – Automate your Blog Posts to Twitter using Twitterfeed

Twitterfeed is a service which takes the rss feed from your blog and automatically generates tweets with a link to your blog posts and posts them on Twitter for you!

To set up Twitterfeed, you will need the RSS feed address of your blog. Mine is http://www.conradzero.com/feed which is the default for self-hosted Wordpress blogs (just replace my website name with your own.) If you have a hosted site like Blogger or LiveJournal, look on your site for a Subscribe button or a graphic which looks like this:

RSS-FEED-Icon

Right click on the graphic on your site, and copy the address there. That should be your RSS feed. Paste it into Twitterfeed. Once you get your RSS feed entered and validated, then add your Twitter account information and… Bam! All UR blogposts are now belong to Twitter!

3 – Automate Youtube to Twitter

Login or create an account at Youtube.com. Under Account Settings look for Activity Sharing or AutoSharing. Here, you can configure Youtube to auto-post your video rankings, favorites and comments out to Twitter, Facebook and other social media sites.

Bam! Free content automatically generated for Twitter based on nothing more than trolling around Youtube! Hells, you were doing that already!

4 – Auto-tweet Myspace updates

Despite media to the contrary, Myspace is not dead. Furthermore, Myspace.com can also be automated to bounce your status updates out to Twitter.

See this link for more details: http://www.myspace.com/sync

5 – Automate Facebook updates to Twitter

I heard that if Facebook was a country, it would be the 6th largest country in the world. It would also look like the Eastern Bloc, and smell like Seattle.  I also hear it’s the only way you can get grandma online to look at pix of the grandkids.

Like tips #3 and #4 above, you can also have Facebook auto-post your updates out to Twitter (and back the other way…) using this app:  http://apps.facebook.com/twitter/ [Note: you will need to login with a Facebook account to access this page.]

6- Showcase your current Twitter posts on your website.

Adding a sidebar to your website that showcases your latest Twitter posts is an easy way to put fresh content on your website(s). Best of all it’s set-and-forget. Pick from the options below depending on how your website is hosted:

WordPress – There are many WordPress plug-ins which will show your latest tweets in a sidebar widget. I use the “Twitter for WordPress” plugin by Ricardo González, and you can see the results on my homepage at conradzero.com (Scroll down the right-hand side, under the header “Twittering”)

Blogger – Here’s a link to a Twitter widget you can insert into your Blogger blog: http://twitter.com/badges/blogger

Others (Javascript) – If you use LiveJournal or other pages which run old-school HTML, This site has a simple Javascript that can be added to your page: http://www.cthreepo.com/blogthis/index.html

Others (PHP) – If you aren’t afraid of a little PHP, then with some cut-and-pasting you can add this prebuilt code to your website: http://workbench.cadenhead.org/twitter-rss-to-html/

WTF? – If none of these options work for you, there are plenty of other coders and plugin-ers out there creating software to show your twitter posts as stocktickers, sidebars, banner ads, etc… My suggestion is to find someone who is doing what you want to do, and ask them how they did it. Leave a comment here if you find something useful!

Once you’re finished, every new Twitter post will be displayed on your website pages.

Living with Auto-Twitter in 2010 and Beyond

Once you’ve strapped Twitter into this auto-magical configuration, what next?  Simple. Go back to your business as usual! Update your blog, Facebook, Myspace, etc. Rate and comment on videos at Youtube. If you followed my tips above, all these actions will generate content for you automatically on Twitter.com, and your website sidebar will be updated with your latest tweets!

Add a blog post… Bam! There’s two extra links to your blog post with no extra effort!

Someone adds you as a friend… Pow! Your account auto-adds them back, AND sends them a thank you!

Someone unfollows you…  Zap! Your account auto-unfollows the fool! So Naygh!

Who knows, maybe you’ll even start adding your own random thoughts to Twitter, (and I’ll have more helpful tips about that soon) or you can ignore Twitter completely and let it work for you in the background, offering up links to your content.

OK so it ain’t a flying car, but unless you’re going to build one, you’ll just have to settle for these tips. For those of you worried this is all a bit too Big Brother, keep in mind this is 2010, not 1984. Feel free to share these tips with others, and link back to this post.

Do you know of  other great twitter automations? Anything I missed? Anything better than what I’ve suggested? Leave a comment!

Yours darkly,
-Zero

Categories: Blogging, Cool Website

#TwitterRebellion – Taking Twitter Back From The New Media Spambags

November 12th, 2009
The Future of Twitter

The Future of #TwitterRebellion

The Devolution of Twitter

The creators of Twitter will tell you that they didn’t know what the hell it was for when they released it. They created a way to send a txt message to the world and watched to see how people would use it.

Like several people I’ve dated, Twitter is fast and easy. The microblogging and public text-chat format is perfect for sharing links, updating status, asking questions or blurting out random props that don’t require the treatment of a fully-formed blog post. Way back in Feb 2009, I guessed what twitter might evolve into.

Unfortunately, twitter didn’t evolve. It devolved.

Automatic for the Tweeple

Automation is one of the cool things twitter had going for it. The open-source platform allows companies like youtube, myspace, facebook and others to tie in to your twitter account and auto-post tweets for you. In fact, this blog post here at conradzero.com will auto-post a link to twitter through the twitterfeed service. Saves me the time and effort of doing it myself. Coolness, right?

Kind of.

Automation is one of the suck things that is killing twitter. The open-source platform allows people to upload a spreadsheet of 10,000 senseless posts which automatically post to twitter on a schedule of about once per second. While the posts on twitter were already nearly mindless bits of fluff, now accounts drown twitter in completely mindless bits of fluff. The goal of these New Media Spambags is to post as many times as inhumanly possible. Post more = get seen more. Get seen more = get followed more. More followers = bigger market for your advertising messages.

Does this work? Of course it does.

Does it suck? Of course it does.

And of course, twitter only encourages that you follow people with lots of followers, because…that’s how you get more followers.

Invasion of The New Media Spambags

Classic Automated Twitter Douchebaggery - Note he admits the pic isn't his either!

Classic Automated Twitter Spambaggery - Note he admits the pic isn't his either!

Of course the people who wreck almost all online things are those who REALLY REALLY want to sell you something. Whether their product is good or not is irrelevant – getting it out in front of people is all they care about. Using the automation I mentioned before, these Twitter Spambags stream continual posts – jokes, quotes, facts… and of course, repeated references to their product.

These are the same douchebags who use e-mail SPAM to sell their products. The idea is the same; a high volume of public contact will lead to a small percentage of click-thru, which leads to an even smaller percentage of sales. The higher the quantity of contact, the larger the number of click-thru, the larger the number of sales.

I’ve included a screenshot of just such a Twitter Spambag. No particular reason I’m picking on this person, there’s thousands of profiles just like this one. But here’s some tips on how to spot a Spambag in the wild.

First, note the frequency of posts. No human can write consistent posts like this every three minutes (Exactly three minutes apart, mind you.)

Second, note the content of the posts. Two tweets of generic quotes or factoids, then every third post is a link to a “Make Money Now” page. Because links take up part of the precious 140 character twitter-post limit, services are used to shorten the post down to a smaller size. Because of the shortening, the links are hidden and you can’t see where they go until you click on them.  But notice that the link in the first post is repeated in the last post. If you scrolled down the list of tweets, you would see this particular Spambag alternating between two links over and over.

Third, note where the posts originate. In this case, they all come from API, meaning they are being sent through a third-party service. Likely, an automated one.

This is another spam artist turning the new social media into a quagmire of auto-babble. Is this illegal? Of course not. But it’s also not illegal for people like this to starve to death because no one buys their shit.

Twitter Logo In Sniper Rifle Sights

#TwitterRebellion - Putting Twitter Spambags Out Of Our Misery since 2009.

#TwitterRebellion – Block the Twitter Spambags

If no one clicked on the SPAM e-mails and if no one clicked their links and if no one bought the crap they sell, e-mail SPAM would stop. E-mail SPAMmers only continue to send e-mail SPAM because it works.

If no one followed the Spambags on Twitter and no one clicked their links, twitter spam would stop. Twitter Spambags only continue to spam twitter because it works.

Why follow Spambags? It’s time to take Twitter back to the Tweeple. But how?

Simple.  Block the fucking spambags.

If you see someone you’re following post once per minute of all hours, check their profile page and look through their tweets. If they are interlacing mindless quotes and jokes between links to their snake oil, Use the “Block and Report SPAM” feature. If enough people call a spammer on their BS, their account will be pulled, and you will have done a great public service.

It’s not hard to tell a human from a Spambag.  Follow the humans. Block the spambags. Rebel and take back twitter!


Yours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

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Yours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

Peer Review of “Yellow King” – Demonslayer’s Handbook Chapter 0.1

July 27th, 2009

As mentioned in a previous post, I’ve joined forces with MNSpec – the Speculative Fiction writers group. For July’s writing review, I entered the short story “Yellow King” – a prequel which introduces the characters and mythos of my upcoming novel, “The Demonslayer’s Handbook”.

The writer’s group met last Sunday and I was one of five authors on the critique hot-seat. If I learned one thing, it’s that getting honest criticism of your work is awkward. And sifting out good criticism from bad is difficult.

Wait, that’s two things I learned.

Actually, I learned a lot.

A Kick in the Balls… or not?

Opinions differed about many aspects of my story, but none as interesting as the division of opinions about our hero Nix kicking some jerk in the balls. There seemed to be no middle ground on this one. Half the group felt it was cliche and trite. The other half thought it was completely understandable and in-character.

My reasoning behind writing the kick-in-the-balls scene:

  • I needed to disable the jerk character, and make sure he didn’t leave the scene, or put up resistance.
  • It helps define the hero’s attitude.
  • The hero needed a vehicle to make a hasty getaway. After kicking said jerk in the balls, the hero takes his keys.

Kicking him in the balls accomplishes these goals swimmingly, and has the following added bonus features:

  • Most people know the effects of kicking someone in the balls (even those who haven’t experienced it firsthand) making it a very efficient narrative. One sentence conveys it all.
  • It adds a touch of comic relief.
  • It insinuates some sexual domination of the hero over the jerk.

The major drawback is that enough people (almost 50%) felt it was cliche enough to mention so in the critique. The majority of those who thought kicking a guy in the balls was cliche were women. Then again, the majority of the members of the MNSpec critique group were women.  I’ll let you make your own inferences.

I’ve decided that I’ll see if I can write up an action that disables the jerk, defines the hero,  and doesn’t take up much real estate in the story… without the cliche kick to the scrotum.

Inject the Venom… or not?

Another discussion that ensued was about our Hero ending an argument with her friend by injecting him with a drug that makes him pass out.  Some found this action impossible to justify, and some had no problem with it.

The argument was very similar to the argument about the hero kicking someone in the balls. Those against the action said that it was unnecessary – the hero could simply leave of her own accord. She’s an adult and doesn’t need to knock out this other character and run away. It was labeled ‘aggressively passive-aggressive’ behavior. Although like I said, some people thought it worked just fine.

In this case, I’d have to agree with voting it off the island. It was quick and easy to write. Simpler and faster to dodge the issue than talk about it at length.  I’ll change it, but I’m not exactly thrilled. Why? Because I’m writing an action/adventure story, not a fucking Throap like…

…Buffy The Vampire Slayer

It’s bound to happen.  Write a story about a kick-ass heroine, and the comparisons spew out like beer at a Nascar rally:

Alright, no one really compared my story to V.I. Warshawski. But I learned that I dislike my work being compared to hack TV shows that I’ve never seen. I guess if the genre is popular enough to be lumped into, then there must be a hell of a market.

I suspect that no matter what genre you write in (or what art you create for that matter) there will always be those who have to lump it in with all similar works. Guess I just need to get used to it.

Other Wisdoms

There were some things that everyone agreed on. They liked the pacing. They liked the fight scenes, even people who admitted they didn’t ordinarily like fight scenes, which I took as high praise. They all liked the description of the abandoned medical facility. Everyone liked the main character, Nix.

There were unanimous #EpicFails. Not searching characters for weapons once they are captured is a faux pas. Having weapons easily accessible; ditto. Handily-placed-syringes-labeled-in-the-Queen’s-English is frowned upon.

I don’t agree with all the critiques. Someone said that in a short story I should only have one thing blowing up in a fiery ball of fire and probably not at the start of the story. Obviously, this person has never seen a Michael Bay film.

Someone mockingly pointed out my instances of “Purple Prose” meaning phrases that are, “sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context”. Point taken, and I appreciate the observation, if not the tone, which was a bit purple itself. I’m trying to take all criticism with a pound of salt, but my editor Sue might be right – she tells me that writers are cursed with terribly thin skin.

One suggestion was for me to ditch the fight scene at the beginning and start several pages into the existing story, with our main character in motion. I might do just that because it makes good sense for the work by itself. I have to remember that it’s detached from the full work. Once the short story becomes integrated into the full work (possibly in a later edition) I’ll likely add the fight scene back in. It means I have to rework the motivation for our hero to leave home.

The biggest praise came from the group organizer Hillary, who said I should try to sell the story before releasing it on the internet for free. I was surprised that anyone thought it worthy of publication. Another person said it had a “pulp sensibility” which I’ll take as a complement.

All in all, there’s plenty of resource in the massive stack of sequoia-killing redlined manuscripts I brought home from the group critique. I’ll rewrite “Yellow King” and pass it along to an editor, then release it for FREE either later this year or early in 2010. Those who are interested in reading it should sign up for the newsletter, or keep checking back here on the blog – you’ll be the first to know.


Yours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

Nearing Ubergeekdom – Robert Scoble the Microsoft Man-Myth

May 9th, 2005

I met Robert Scoble last Friday at the ‘geek pub crawl’. The group that had him cornered seemed more interested in “the Microsoft Man-Myth that is Robert Scoble” than in blogging or technology or business. So I bailed, thinking I would come back later and catch a better (and more intoxicated) conversation.

By the time I returned, he was gone. Ah well.

From the little I saw, I can say that Robert is a charming fellow with a good sense of humor. Strangely enough (even to myself) I noticed his shoes were quite plain. I don’t know why I even looked, but I guess I expected him to wear sneakers with a suit, like Phil Collins, but discovered simple black leather dress shoes. The only other time I can remember even noticing someone’s footwear was a stripper at the Red Rose in Austin, TX, (probably because that’s all she was wearing) but I digress. In fairness, he had just come from a meeting with Target Corp. so I’m sure his sneakers were in the backpack; and while I had never seen a backpack with a jacket and slacks before, but it actually worked quite well for him.

I told him not to judge Minnesotan’s too harshly, since all there really is to do here in ‘flyoverland’ is Drink, Blog, and Write Progressive Rock Music (The fourth thing, which is End Sentences with Prepositions, is something I didn’t think to bother him with.) It is no coincidence that these things can all be done in the basement when the weather hits 110 below zero.

Sadly, I forgot to ask him for feedback on my “Open Letter to Podcasters” on keeping their damn times down.  Maybe next time.

Blog on,
-CZ


Yours Darkly,

Conrad Zero

Categories: Blogging

Joined the MOB (Minnesota Orginization of Bloggers)

May 9th, 2005

[Editor's Log, Stardate March 2007 - The MOB Blogroll has been long pulled down from this site, but you can check on my right and left winged brethren here and see that Conrad Zero is still among them in spirit, if not political orientation.]

I have joined the M.O.B. The Minnesota Organization of Bloggers, that is. Last Friday, I met with several members of the M.O.B. who seem to be a group of highly intelligent, well-spoken individuals with an amazing tolerance for alcohol.

Of course, this is just a front for their real purpose, as an elite recruitment team for the Illuminati. I passed their drug test (I was drinking Newcastle Ale, check.) and their fitness test (I managed to walk to the restroom and back without falling over, check.) and the intelligence test (I told them I despise country music, gangsta rap and NASCAR, triple-check.) So now, I’m in.

I will keep you posted as I advance up the ranks in an attempt to discover the true identity of the Illuminati/Shadow-Government Leader.

Blog on,
-CZ

Categories: Blogging