Monday, April 09, 2007
Joshua Bell Begging for Attention
This sad investigative story was devised and reported by the Washington Post.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html?hpid=topnews
I don't tend to hand money out to people simply begging for change, but I do tend to tip street musicians and performers, even if they aren't so good. Hey, at least they are Doing Something.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
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http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html?hpid=topnews
I don't tend to hand money out to people simply begging for change, but I do tend to tip street musicians and performers, even if they aren't so good. Hey, at least they are Doing Something.
Blog on,
-CZ
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
An Inconvenient Award
I had heard that the humorous fantasy film, "An Inconvenient Truth" won at the Oscars (which I also just heard were last week, which also tells you how much I care.)
Much to my surprise, I found out it won Best Documentary, which does not make sense to me, since it wasn't Best, and it wasn't a Documentary. I saw enough of it to tell you that a bunch of facts stacked adjacent to each other with a cause-and-effect relationship implied, and humorous quotes between them does not a 'documentary' make.
For example, is the following a documentary, yes or no?
...Now we know that Anna Nicole Smith died the other day, AND she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast the day before she died. Let me repeat that, because it bears repeating.
It is a scientific fact that she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast.
It is a scientific fact that she died the next day.
Now I think we all can see what's going on here, and wasn't it Confucius who said, 'Man who stick hand in pocket feel cocky?' [laughs] ...
Don't misundertake me, the lifestyle of your average Americans needs cleaning up. We need to reduce pollution, at both the business and the consumer levels. People need to be aware of their 'Global Footprint'.
But anyone who tells you they have Scientific Proof of Global Warming or Cooling needs to get a few million years of reliable data before they can even be taken seriously. How do you know that the earth is not on the way back to normal from a temperature fluxuation that started a half million years ago?
The answer? You Don't. And YOU want to fuck with the global thermostat? Keep your fucking hands Off!
Pollution is another matter. You can measure pollutant levels objectively, and we can talk rationally about what causes them, and how to reduce them. You can make a law against world-polluting products like this. But don't show pictures of baby birds and a graph showing the decline in the Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker populations to try guilting everyone into buying a Ford Hybrid.
To put scientific facts next to each other and imply a relationship for your own purposes is Evil, and only works on stupid people. [Editors Note: Perhaps stupid people are the target audience?] It is still Evil EVEN IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE FOR GOOD.
Gandalf the Grey knew this:
"Don't tempt me Frodo! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine..."
See? Gandalf knows shit. Be like Gandalf, and not like Emoman.
Blog on,
-CZ
1 Comments
Permalink
Much to my surprise, I found out it won Best Documentary, which does not make sense to me, since it wasn't Best, and it wasn't a Documentary. I saw enough of it to tell you that a bunch of facts stacked adjacent to each other with a cause-and-effect relationship implied, and humorous quotes between them does not a 'documentary' make.
For example, is the following a documentary, yes or no?
...Now we know that Anna Nicole Smith died the other day, AND she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast the day before she died. Let me repeat that, because it bears repeating.
It is a scientific fact that she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast.
It is a scientific fact that she died the next day.
Now I think we all can see what's going on here, and wasn't it Confucius who said, 'Man who stick hand in pocket feel cocky?' [laughs] ...
Don't misundertake me, the lifestyle of your average Americans needs cleaning up. We need to reduce pollution, at both the business and the consumer levels. People need to be aware of their 'Global Footprint'.
But anyone who tells you they have Scientific Proof of Global Warming or Cooling needs to get a few million years of reliable data before they can even be taken seriously. How do you know that the earth is not on the way back to normal from a temperature fluxuation that started a half million years ago?
The answer? You Don't. And YOU want to fuck with the global thermostat? Keep your fucking hands Off!
Pollution is another matter. You can measure pollutant levels objectively, and we can talk rationally about what causes them, and how to reduce them. You can make a law against world-polluting products like this. But don't show pictures of baby birds and a graph showing the decline in the Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker populations to try guilting everyone into buying a Ford Hybrid.
To put scientific facts next to each other and imply a relationship for your own purposes is Evil, and only works on stupid people. [Editors Note: Perhaps stupid people are the target audience?] It is still Evil EVEN IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE FOR GOOD.
Gandalf the Grey knew this:
"Don't tempt me Frodo! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine..."
See? Gandalf knows shit. Be like Gandalf, and not like Emoman.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, Cultural Observation
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Valentine's Day (Capitolist American Ver.)
The day of Love. Love of money, that is.
Americans have this uncanny knack for working the money-angle on any concept, even one as noble as a holiday for celebrating love. You hear the commercials as well as I do, they are all but unavoidable, and all of them with their same, sick message; If you love your female (yes Female, but I'll get to that in a min...) partner, then you need to prove it with cash.
How vulgar! How ludicrous! How asinine!
How American.
They took Christmas a long time ago. Halloween is right behind, now being recognized as the second largest retail holiday after Xmas. And now, our dear, sweet, not-so-innocent Day of Saint Valentine's, falls prey to rampant consumerism.
Worse yet, the adverts are blatantly sexist.
"Buy HER the gift SHE's always wanted."
"Make sure SHE knows how much you love HER."
Don't believe me? Listen again. Sexist. Consumerism I can almost stomach because it knows no prejudice, but sexism don't fly.
Of course, Steak and BJ Day is the outcome of this silliness and a half-hearted attempt to return balance to the equation. But it's like handing someone a hundred dollars and then punching them in the face. It might balance out, but it still isn't acceptable.
The current state of Valentine's Day has become as trite and offensive as "Steak and BJ Day"
Don't like it? Good. Then don't accept it. Don't tolerate it. Don't feed it, and it will die.
What makes me more sad is that we need a holiday as a reminder to cherish our loved ones.
Blog on,
-CZ
1 Comments
Permalink
Americans have this uncanny knack for working the money-angle on any concept, even one as noble as a holiday for celebrating love. You hear the commercials as well as I do, they are all but unavoidable, and all of them with their same, sick message; If you love your female (yes Female, but I'll get to that in a min...) partner, then you need to prove it with cash.
How vulgar! How ludicrous! How asinine!
How American.
They took Christmas a long time ago. Halloween is right behind, now being recognized as the second largest retail holiday after Xmas. And now, our dear, sweet, not-so-innocent Day of Saint Valentine's, falls prey to rampant consumerism.
Worse yet, the adverts are blatantly sexist.
"Buy HER the gift SHE's always wanted."
"Make sure SHE knows how much you love HER."
Don't believe me? Listen again. Sexist. Consumerism I can almost stomach because it knows no prejudice, but sexism don't fly.
Of course, Steak and BJ Day is the outcome of this silliness and a half-hearted attempt to return balance to the equation. But it's like handing someone a hundred dollars and then punching them in the face. It might balance out, but it still isn't acceptable.
The current state of Valentine's Day has become as trite and offensive as "Steak and BJ Day"
Don't like it? Good. Then don't accept it. Don't tolerate it. Don't feed it, and it will die.
What makes me more sad is that we need a holiday as a reminder to cherish our loved ones.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, consumerism, holidays
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Rated X-mas
I can almost hear the Entire Americanized Christmas Industry, as thought it were comprised of thousands of leeches, howling with hunger, and poised to suck the capitol-blood right out of the consumers wallet-veins.
Who ever thought that a non-refundable expiring line of credit good at only one business would make a good gift?
http://www.ihatechristmas.com/ is spammed out with a bunch of (ready for this?) Advertisements for THINGS TO BUY.
the songs... can anyone, someone, please write a new christmas song? This is closer, but still rehashing or mashing the old stuff. Same here.
Ah well, the lights are pretty, and the kids seem to like it.
So let's all take a moment to remember the True Meaning of Christmas - A Christian attempt to displace the pagan ritual of Yule by taking the Biblical god and dressing him (sorry, Him) up in spandex and fishnet, then saying he looks like The Earth Mother...
Flame on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
Who ever thought that a non-refundable expiring line of credit good at only one business would make a good gift?
http://www.ihatechristmas.com/ is spammed out with a bunch of (ready for this?) Advertisements for THINGS TO BUY.
the songs... can anyone, someone, please write a new christmas song? This is closer, but still rehashing or mashing the old stuff. Same here.
Ah well, the lights are pretty, and the kids seem to like it.
So let's all take a moment to remember the True Meaning of Christmas - A Christian attempt to displace the pagan ritual of Yule by taking the Biblical god and dressing him (sorry, Him) up in spandex and fishnet, then saying he looks like The Earth Mother...
Flame on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, consumerism, holidays
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Halloween Costume Choices
I'm working up a costume for Halloween. Those of you who saw me in 2004 as Marilyn Manson or last year as 'the Ghost of John Wayne' know that I spend more time and prep on this pagan holiday in one year than I have on all Easters combined.
I have two thoughts about Halloween. If you are going to a Halloween party, then you need to wear a costume. That's the point. If you aren't going to wear a costume then stay at home. (And don't be like my neighbors the Jehovah's Witnesses, and pretend you aren't at home. That is bullshit, and you deserve every roll of T.P. that you end up with.)
Furthermore, Halloween should be scary at best, creepy if possible, and surreal at the very least. If the kids wanna dress up like Spider-man that's great. But we already have plenty of 'Holidays' throughout the year that are filled with rainbows, princesses, and cute fucking bunnies. Enough. Come on people, it's Fall, and the land is dying all around you. The dead are here, walking the earth, and if you don't 'treat' them, they will 'trick' you.
And you decide to dress like a pirate.
Like I said, that's pretty surreal, so that's OK in my book. But when the forces of Evil come to my door, my costume is going to scare the piss out of them. So what if I have to clean Satan's piss off my front step? I'll be laughing while I do it.
Anyway, I was just reading about the most popular costume choices for Halloween, and I noticed several things 'wrong with this picture' I will point out a few of them, your homework is to find the remaining 348.
First, why is 'Princess' topping the list for costumes for kids, and 'Witch' is the top costume for Adults? I think this says something about the American Subconscious. Could it be that all little girls are taught (or inbred with) the desire to be rich, beautiful, loved, (and helplessly dependent on some strong, handsome male figure) just like in every God-Damned Disney Film Ever Made? This might explain why 'Red Cross Volunteer' did not make the list. Then again, I don't really speak fashion. Anyone care to interpret for me?
Second, Why are 'Disney Princesses' counted separately from 'Princesses'? Hmm? WTF? A princess is a princess is a princess.
Third, Why is 'Dracula' not counted among the 'Vampires'? Hmm? WTFFF? A vampire is a vampire is a freaking vampire, and not a one of them frightening in the least. I notice they didn't differentiate between 'Butt-Ugly-Witches-With-A-Wart-On-Their-Nose' and the 'Smokin-Hot-Sexy-Witches' which is a HUGE difference, when compared to differentiating Dracula from all other Vampires.
Fourth, Why in the name of all that is flippin good in the world, why are more adults dressing as 'Pumpkins' than as 'French Maids'? This makes me sad.
Blog on,
-CZ
1 Comments
Permalink
I have two thoughts about Halloween. If you are going to a Halloween party, then you need to wear a costume. That's the point. If you aren't going to wear a costume then stay at home. (And don't be like my neighbors the Jehovah's Witnesses, and pretend you aren't at home. That is bullshit, and you deserve every roll of T.P. that you end up with.)
Furthermore, Halloween should be scary at best, creepy if possible, and surreal at the very least. If the kids wanna dress up like Spider-man that's great. But we already have plenty of 'Holidays' throughout the year that are filled with rainbows, princesses, and cute fucking bunnies. Enough. Come on people, it's Fall, and the land is dying all around you. The dead are here, walking the earth, and if you don't 'treat' them, they will 'trick' you.
And you decide to dress like a pirate.
Like I said, that's pretty surreal, so that's OK in my book. But when the forces of Evil come to my door, my costume is going to scare the piss out of them. So what if I have to clean Satan's piss off my front step? I'll be laughing while I do it.
Anyway, I was just reading about the most popular costume choices for Halloween, and I noticed several things 'wrong with this picture' I will point out a few of them, your homework is to find the remaining 348.
First, why is 'Princess' topping the list for costumes for kids, and 'Witch' is the top costume for Adults? I think this says something about the American Subconscious. Could it be that all little girls are taught (or inbred with) the desire to be rich, beautiful, loved, (and helplessly dependent on some strong, handsome male figure) just like in every God-Damned Disney Film Ever Made? This might explain why 'Red Cross Volunteer' did not make the list. Then again, I don't really speak fashion. Anyone care to interpret for me?
Second, Why are 'Disney Princesses' counted separately from 'Princesses'? Hmm? WTF? A princess is a princess is a princess.
Third, Why is 'Dracula' not counted among the 'Vampires'? Hmm? WTFFF? A vampire is a vampire is a freaking vampire, and not a one of them frightening in the least. I notice they didn't differentiate between 'Butt-Ugly-Witches-With-A-Wart-On-Their-Nose' and the 'Smokin-Hot-Sexy-Witches' which is a HUGE difference, when compared to differentiating Dracula from all other Vampires.
Fourth, Why in the name of all that is flippin good in the world, why are more adults dressing as 'Pumpkins' than as 'French Maids'? This makes me sad.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, Cultural Observation, rant
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Miles Per Dollar
I don't get too bent about gas prices. I actually think it's kind of funny that people drive their Chevy Grand Suburban GTXLS Warner Bros Edition to work every day, and then get their knickers in a twist when gas prices go up fifty cents. They are the first to jump on the web and hunt down the cheapest gas prices in town. Instead of going to sites like this one *before* they buy a vehicle.
Kind of seems like eating an Octawhopper every day for lunch, and then going to the gym to work it off.
Heh, Americans.
Blog on,
-CZ
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Kind of seems like eating an Octawhopper every day for lunch, and then going to the gym to work it off.
Heh, Americans.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, consumerism
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
The End Is Near: Thank God!
Not sure yet if this site was meant to scare people with the perpetual knowledge that the entire Mulitverse might shut down Any Fucking Minute Now...
...or to cheer up people like me, who can't wait for Universal Retirement.
Those who didn't think the end was coming, I give you:
Obvious Signs of the End Of Days
- Metal Emo (WTF?)
- The Existence of Marilyn Manson
- The Existance of Mark Mallman
- The Existance of a musical genre called "Hip-Hop"
- The Existance of Ringtones for The Fray's 'Over My Head'
- The fact that Dashboard Confessional has more 'friends' than Motorhead
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
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...or to cheer up people like me, who can't wait for Universal Retirement.
Those who didn't think the end was coming, I give you:
Obvious Signs of the End Of Days
- Metal Emo (WTF?)
- The Existence of Marilyn Manson
- The Existance of Mark Mallman
- The Existance of a musical genre called "Hip-Hop"
- The Existance of Ringtones for The Fray's 'Over My Head'
- The fact that Dashboard Confessional has more 'friends' than Motorhead
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, Predictions
Monday, August 21, 2006
Human Frogger
Well, I hope you-all are having a better day/week/life than I...
But at least my day isn't this bad.
Then again, I'm not that stupid.
Blog on,
-CZ
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But at least my day isn't this bad.
Then again, I'm not that stupid.
Blog on,
-CZ
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
MN - Land of 10,000 Dickheads?
I stopped in at the drugstore (S.A.) in order to score (purchase) some non-prescription uppers (Jolt Cherry Bomb Cola) and in the middle of negotiations (while standing in line at the checkout) some strange cat (dude) bursts in the door, and in a casually-cruel tone directed at the two ladies behind the counter says, "Your fucking gas pumps don't work for shit, so I'm taking my business someplace else."
His attitude was so leisurely about the whole thing, and the women's reaction to it was so mild, I thought they must know him from somewhere. I laughed, and so did both ladies behind the counter and the two other people in line. Then the guy turned and stormed out. I turned to the person behind the counter and she just shook her head. I still couldn't tell exactly what had just happened. Maybe he was a mentally disturbed person making his daily circuit? Perhaps it was a coworker, trying to be funny? An out-of-work Improv actor who, at any moment, would come bursting back in with another strange persona?
"Was that guy serious?" I asked, still smiling.
"Afraid so," was the reply.
My smile faded. Strange how she wasn't surprised at all. "How, um, how often does *that* happen?"
"Every day."
"Yeah," the other lady chimed in, "at *least* once a day."
I suddenly felt the way I imagine Neo felt swallowing the red pill and having the veil of falseness ripped out from between himself and the rest of the world. Except maybe divide that by a couple million, but still... At least once per day, some dickhead takes out their aggression on the people behind the counter? AT LEAST ONCE PER DAY? Wow. This is what I'm talking about when I use the term Americans as a derogatory adjective.
If you have bad service, or receive bad product, or have a bad experience at a business, here are some things you can do that Don't entail wrecking the day of someone right out of High School who works for minimum wage and has to deal with dickheads like You all day...
1- Write a letter. Leave a letter for the manager, and let them know what a bad experience you had. This assumes you know how to write, you dickhead.
2- Send an e-mail. This assumes you have access to a computer, or at least a friend who has access to a computer. If you weren't such a dickhead, you might actually have some friends who would help you with this.
3- Ask to see the manager, and ask him/her what he/she is going to do about this problem. This is a huge pain in the ass, I know. But, the manager is the only one who gets paid to give a crap about making complaining dickheads like you happy. The manager is also the only one who might give a crap and do something about your complaint. Otherwise you are wasting your breath. The people behind the counter just laugh at you. The ones who aren't dickheads themselves will wait until after you are gone to laugh at you.
4- Don't Patronize That Place of Business. This one is the easiest, and even a dickhead like you should be able to pull this one off.
5- Don't Patronize That Place of Business and Tell Everyone You Know Not To Patronize It Either. I was recently at the CC Club and watched some positively Horrendous service in action from two separate bartenders. I know of some people (non-dickheads, in case you were wondering) who are going to #5 that place big time.
6 - Realize That There Are Other Dickheads In The World Besides Yourself, And Some Of Them Work In The Customer Service Industry. And you might just hold back judgement of an entire business based on your experience with one person. Just like everyone else should hold back judgement of your family based on their experience with a dickhead like you.
Every fucking day. Wow.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
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His attitude was so leisurely about the whole thing, and the women's reaction to it was so mild, I thought they must know him from somewhere. I laughed, and so did both ladies behind the counter and the two other people in line. Then the guy turned and stormed out. I turned to the person behind the counter and she just shook her head. I still couldn't tell exactly what had just happened. Maybe he was a mentally disturbed person making his daily circuit? Perhaps it was a coworker, trying to be funny? An out-of-work Improv actor who, at any moment, would come bursting back in with another strange persona?
"Was that guy serious?" I asked, still smiling.
"Afraid so," was the reply.
My smile faded. Strange how she wasn't surprised at all. "How, um, how often does *that* happen?"
"Every day."
"Yeah," the other lady chimed in, "at *least* once a day."
I suddenly felt the way I imagine Neo felt swallowing the red pill and having the veil of falseness ripped out from between himself and the rest of the world. Except maybe divide that by a couple million, but still... At least once per day, some dickhead takes out their aggression on the people behind the counter? AT LEAST ONCE PER DAY? Wow. This is what I'm talking about when I use the term Americans as a derogatory adjective.
If you have bad service, or receive bad product, or have a bad experience at a business, here are some things you can do that Don't entail wrecking the day of someone right out of High School who works for minimum wage and has to deal with dickheads like You all day...
1- Write a letter. Leave a letter for the manager, and let them know what a bad experience you had. This assumes you know how to write, you dickhead.
2- Send an e-mail. This assumes you have access to a computer, or at least a friend who has access to a computer. If you weren't such a dickhead, you might actually have some friends who would help you with this.
3- Ask to see the manager, and ask him/her what he/she is going to do about this problem. This is a huge pain in the ass, I know. But, the manager is the only one who gets paid to give a crap about making complaining dickheads like you happy. The manager is also the only one who might give a crap and do something about your complaint. Otherwise you are wasting your breath. The people behind the counter just laugh at you. The ones who aren't dickheads themselves will wait until after you are gone to laugh at you.
4- Don't Patronize That Place of Business. This one is the easiest, and even a dickhead like you should be able to pull this one off.
5- Don't Patronize That Place of Business and Tell Everyone You Know Not To Patronize It Either. I was recently at the CC Club and watched some positively Horrendous service in action from two separate bartenders. I know of some people (non-dickheads, in case you were wondering) who are going to #5 that place big time.
6 - Realize That There Are Other Dickheads In The World Besides Yourself, And Some Of Them Work In The Customer Service Industry. And you might just hold back judgement of an entire business based on your experience with one person. Just like everyone else should hold back judgement of your family based on their experience with a dickhead like you.
Every fucking day. Wow.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, Business Phenomena, Etiquette
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
True Democracy
Someone can tell all the idiots in Washington D.C. to go home now, and get real jobs. Thanks much, but we can handle it from here.
How's that you ask? How are we, meager, mild-mannered citizens able to take control of decisions made at a national level? We already do.
I will admit it's kind of sad that the best model for our government comes from a 'Reality' TV show, but no one can deny that it operates under true democracy. Issues can be listed on the evening news, and concerned citizens can cast their vote by phone, or internet, or e-mail ballot. A computer (which really needs to be called "Big Brother" or "Deep Thought"...) can track the votes, and debates can be held on www.wikipedia.org. Hell, Simon can even provide running commentary; he can turn to the board and say, 'Survey Says...' every time the numbers are updated like on Family Feud. We could have Vanna White stand there and do the same thing she does on Wheel of Fortune: Nothing.
To keep the process fair, everyone must have access to TV/radio/phone/internet. Thanks to the public library system, broadcast TV, and public radio, this is mostly the case.
No more 'Representatives' who have their own agendas and can be swayed by special interest groups. No more 'Electoral College' bullshit. Are you Anti-Abortion? Anti-Gun? Anti-Dashboard Confessional? Cast your vote, and if you are in the minority, deal with it. Fuck the 'checks and balances' and the '3-ring circus'.
No more Jury system. Broadcast all trials on TV/internet, and everyone turns in their vote. All the money that went into funding our 'representatives' can be reduced to a roomful of servers and a handful of underpaid geeks to play Oblivion and reboot the servers when they crash.
It will be argued that this system would be prone to some problems, for instance, if 51% of Americans hated Michael Jackson, they might have voted his plastic ass into prison just because they didn't like him, and not based on whether he was guilty or not. The same case can be made rich people/parties buying up the votes of the people who don't give a damn. I can see the commercials now, "Vote to Burn all of Dashboard Confessional's Albums and their lead signer, and I will give you one dollar! Paid for by the Conrad Hates Dashboard Confessional committee."
This argument is a valid one, but I never said that Democracy was the best system of Government. Especially for a group of people as narrow, selfish, and uneducated as Americans, but I'm saying it would be a true democracy, and not the sham we have now.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
How's that you ask? How are we, meager, mild-mannered citizens able to take control of decisions made at a national level? We already do.
I will admit it's kind of sad that the best model for our government comes from a 'Reality' TV show, but no one can deny that it operates under true democracy. Issues can be listed on the evening news, and concerned citizens can cast their vote by phone, or internet, or e-mail ballot. A computer (which really needs to be called "Big Brother" or "Deep Thought"...) can track the votes, and debates can be held on www.wikipedia.org. Hell, Simon can even provide running commentary; he can turn to the board and say, 'Survey Says...' every time the numbers are updated like on Family Feud. We could have Vanna White stand there and do the same thing she does on Wheel of Fortune: Nothing.
To keep the process fair, everyone must have access to TV/radio/phone/internet. Thanks to the public library system, broadcast TV, and public radio, this is mostly the case.
No more 'Representatives' who have their own agendas and can be swayed by special interest groups. No more 'Electoral College' bullshit. Are you Anti-Abortion? Anti-Gun? Anti-Dashboard Confessional? Cast your vote, and if you are in the minority, deal with it. Fuck the 'checks and balances' and the '3-ring circus'.
No more Jury system. Broadcast all trials on TV/internet, and everyone turns in their vote. All the money that went into funding our 'representatives' can be reduced to a roomful of servers and a handful of underpaid geeks to play Oblivion and reboot the servers when they crash.
It will be argued that this system would be prone to some problems, for instance, if 51% of Americans hated Michael Jackson, they might have voted his plastic ass into prison just because they didn't like him, and not based on whether he was guilty or not. The same case can be made rich people/parties buying up the votes of the people who don't give a damn. I can see the commercials now, "Vote to Burn all of Dashboard Confessional's Albums and their lead signer, and I will give you one dollar! Paid for by the Conrad Hates Dashboard Confessional committee."
This argument is a valid one, but I never said that Democracy was the best system of Government. Especially for a group of people as narrow, selfish, and uneducated as Americans, but I'm saying it would be a true democracy, and not the sham we have now.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, Million Dollar Idea, political
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
America the Strange
Ugly = Beautiful Just ask the designers of the H2, Aztec, and all the other square Humvee-Wannabees. Just ask the people who put Julia Roberts face on magazines.
Stupid = Clever Just ask the marketing genius behind Arby’s “Oven Mitt” ad campaign.
Untalented = Talented Dashboard Confessional, Kid Rock, q.e.d.
Old = New Starsky and Hutch? The Dukes Of Hazzard?
Boring = Interesting – The Apprentice, Survivor, and pretty much any “reality” TV show nameable. Brad and Jen.
Not Funny = Funny King of the Hill, South Park, Family Guy. Tom Green. Adam Sandler. I could go on and on...
Poor Quality = Good Quality Especially in the music spectrum (where it is called “Indie” or “Lo Fi”) but also in video (Blair Witch Project, Independent Films...)
Evil = Good I will let you PoliSci Majors fill this one in for me
And people wonder how I am able to use the word “American...” as a condescending adjective. Heh. People who call used cars “pre-owned” as though it were some kind of advantageous selling point? People who use SUV’s as a single passenger vehicle, driving them to work each day and complaining about the price of gasoline?
I've decided that I am from Canada.
Blog on,
-CZ
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Stupid = Clever Just ask the marketing genius behind Arby’s “Oven Mitt” ad campaign.
Untalented = Talented Dashboard Confessional, Kid Rock, q.e.d.
Old = New Starsky and Hutch? The Dukes Of Hazzard?
Boring = Interesting – The Apprentice, Survivor, and pretty much any “reality” TV show nameable. Brad and Jen.
Not Funny = Funny King of the Hill, South Park, Family Guy. Tom Green. Adam Sandler. I could go on and on...
Poor Quality = Good Quality Especially in the music spectrum (where it is called “Indie” or “Lo Fi”) but also in video (Blair Witch Project, Independent Films...)
Evil = Good I will let you PoliSci Majors fill this one in for me
And people wonder how I am able to use the word “American...” as a condescending adjective. Heh. People who call used cars “pre-owned” as though it were some kind of advantageous selling point? People who use SUV’s as a single passenger vehicle, driving them to work each day and complaining about the price of gasoline?
I've decided that I am from Canada.
Blog on,
-CZ
Monday, May 08, 2006
Stick It To The Man - No Gas in 2007!
If everyone in the USA, Canada, Belize, Antarctica and Micronesia did not purchase a drop of gasoline/petroleum for one year, and all at the same time, the oil companies would choke on their stockpiles!
At the same time, it would hit the entire industry with a net loss of over...well...billions and billions! It would end jobs for thousands of gas station workers and managers, truck drivers, refinery workers, utility companies, etc..., and most likely upset the global economy, but what's *really* important is that it will STICK IT TO OPEC!
Therefore, 2007 has been formally declared "Stick It To OPEC, Along With Thousands of Petroleum Industry Employees Year"! and no one should buy any gas or petroleum products for the entire year! Turn off the gas appliances in your house, (Stove, Clothes Dryer, Furnace...) and put all the keys for your gasoline-powered vehicles in a safe deposit box for just one year, and "Stick It To OPEC, Along With Thousands of Petroleum Industry Employees"!!!
The only way this can be done is if you forward this e-mail to as many people as you can, and as quickly as you can to get the word out! Waiting for the government to step in and control the prices is not going to happen. [Editors Note: Sorry, should have ended that last sentence with an exclamation point!]
Remember one thing - not only is the price of gasoline going up, but at the same time airlines are forced to raise their prices (OK, that's two things), trucking companies are forced to raise their prices (Fine, three things, but that's it!) which effects prices on everything that is shipped! Things like food, clothing, building materials, and Humvee parts! Who pays in the end? We do!
Make no mistake, we can make a difference! Think of how much tax money we can save in road repair alone by not driving on the roads for an entire year! Not to mention auto insurance and those expensive Humvee parts!
If they don't get the message after one year, then we will do it again and again!
So do your part and spread the word! Forward this e-mail to everyone you know! Mark your calendars and make 2007 a year that the citizens of USA, Canada, Belize, Antarctica and Micronesia band together and say, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"!
Blog on,
-Conrad Zero
www.conradzero.com
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At the same time, it would hit the entire industry with a net loss of over...well...billions and billions! It would end jobs for thousands of gas station workers and managers, truck drivers, refinery workers, utility companies, etc..., and most likely upset the global economy, but what's *really* important is that it will STICK IT TO OPEC!
Therefore, 2007 has been formally declared "Stick It To OPEC, Along With Thousands of Petroleum Industry Employees Year"! and no one should buy any gas or petroleum products for the entire year! Turn off the gas appliances in your house, (Stove, Clothes Dryer, Furnace...) and put all the keys for your gasoline-powered vehicles in a safe deposit box for just one year, and "Stick It To OPEC, Along With Thousands of Petroleum Industry Employees"!!!
The only way this can be done is if you forward this e-mail to as many people as you can, and as quickly as you can to get the word out! Waiting for the government to step in and control the prices is not going to happen. [Editors Note: Sorry, should have ended that last sentence with an exclamation point!]
Remember one thing - not only is the price of gasoline going up, but at the same time airlines are forced to raise their prices (OK, that's two things), trucking companies are forced to raise their prices (Fine, three things, but that's it!) which effects prices on everything that is shipped! Things like food, clothing, building materials, and Humvee parts! Who pays in the end? We do!
Make no mistake, we can make a difference! Think of how much tax money we can save in road repair alone by not driving on the roads for an entire year! Not to mention auto insurance and those expensive Humvee parts!
If they don't get the message after one year, then we will do it again and again!
So do your part and spread the word! Forward this e-mail to everyone you know! Mark your calendars and make 2007 a year that the citizens of USA, Canada, Belize, Antarctica and Micronesia band together and say, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"!
Blog on,
-Conrad Zero
www.conradzero.com
Labels: americans, idiots, Million Dollar Idea, Open Letter
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Talkin' Bout My Generation (X)
Trying to give defining characteristics to generations is really no different than the daily horoscopes: "Wow, I'd better be careful, my Horoscope says that I will be attacked by a drunken skydiver on the way home from work!"
Of course I'm kidding, horoscopes are never that specific. They are more likely to say things like; all Taurans will have "...conditions favorable for romance..." which could mean anything at all, and suddenly hearing David Sanborn while listening to The Current on the way home qualifies, making horoscopes about as accurate as my Magic 8-Ball
Of course applying any specific characteristic to any group is stereotyping, and generally frowned upon. "All Americans Are Fucking Idiots" is not only an easy claim to disarm ("Well, Americans invented TIVO, the light bulb and Family Guy, right?"), it also does not go over well when speaking with Americans.
TIP: A simple adjustment, "Most Americans Are Fucking Idiots" is a pretty solid surface to host an argument, especially if the person you are talking to is American, because we all know they are all fucking idiots.
Anyways,you can probably guess my reaction when someone comes along and tries to tell you what you are like, based on your race, religion, the lines on your palm, or when you were born.
This analysis of Generation X-ers was a surprising read for me, since I immediately tend to shatter any kind of label put on myself. Of course, this 'instinctive rebellion' makes me a great candidate for Reverse Psychology Behaviour Modeling...but I re-digress. I was surprised that I agreed with some of the defining characteristics, and while I could quote the entire article, I put the highlights below.
Despite their generational attitude against collectivism, Generation Xers take some group pride in their generation. In math, "X" stands for 'substitute anything', and Gen X takes some collective pride in their own tolerance, diversity and inability to be labeled.
While Gen X childhood was filled with Brady Bunch/Happy Days/Eight-is-Enough, their teen/college years included "Married With Children", an internally-competitive family yet a unified team/unit if the family was threatened. This is one example of a new Gen X paradigm: individual competitiveness yet loyalty as compatible and healthy societal concepts.
Some have suggested Xer's generational pride translates into active rebellion against what Gen X believed was the shallow, misguided and self-serving (and hypocritical) idealism the Boomers advocated in the 1960s such as escaping the draft. Some would also argue that it is not merely that Generation Xers reject the idealism of the 1960s, but that they bear a deeper cynicism of the fact that such "idealism", inevitably doomed in its gratuitous naïveté, so quickly gave way to an era unequivocally focused on commercial and industrial 'progress'.
And finally my favorite:
It has been said that a "Gen-Xer" differs from a savings bond, in that eventually, a savings bond will mature and earn money.
An interesting read, even if you arent from that generation, there is the entire list of generations at wikipedia, and even if they aren't that accurate, they are certainly entertaining, and make for wonderful 'water cooler conversation starters' For example:
"Hey Spab, how are you today?"
"Oh, I dunno."
"You seem kind of down. Are you sure that you arent bearing a deep cynicism of your parent's self-serving idealism which was inevitably doomed in its gratuitous naïveté, and gave way to an era unequivocally focused on commercial and industrial 'progress'?"
"Huh?"
"Oh, sorry I forgot, you're an American, aren't you?"
Blog on,
-CZ
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Of course I'm kidding, horoscopes are never that specific. They are more likely to say things like; all Taurans will have "...conditions favorable for romance..." which could mean anything at all, and suddenly hearing David Sanborn while listening to The Current on the way home qualifies, making horoscopes about as accurate as my Magic 8-Ball
Of course applying any specific characteristic to any group is stereotyping, and generally frowned upon. "All Americans Are Fucking Idiots" is not only an easy claim to disarm ("Well, Americans invented TIVO, the light bulb and Family Guy, right?"), it also does not go over well when speaking with Americans.
TIP: A simple adjustment, "Most Americans Are Fucking Idiots" is a pretty solid surface to host an argument, especially if the person you are talking to is American, because we all know they are all fucking idiots.
Anyways,you can probably guess my reaction when someone comes along and tries to tell you what you are like, based on your race, religion, the lines on your palm, or when you were born.
This analysis of Generation X-ers was a surprising read for me, since I immediately tend to shatter any kind of label put on myself. Of course, this 'instinctive rebellion' makes me a great candidate for Reverse Psychology Behaviour Modeling...but I re-digress. I was surprised that I agreed with some of the defining characteristics, and while I could quote the entire article, I put the highlights below.
Despite their generational attitude against collectivism, Generation Xers take some group pride in their generation. In math, "X" stands for 'substitute anything', and Gen X takes some collective pride in their own tolerance, diversity and inability to be labeled.
While Gen X childhood was filled with Brady Bunch/Happy Days/Eight-is-Enough, their teen/college years included "Married With Children", an internally-competitive family yet a unified team/unit if the family was threatened. This is one example of a new Gen X paradigm: individual competitiveness yet loyalty as compatible and healthy societal concepts.
Some have suggested Xer's generational pride translates into active rebellion against what Gen X believed was the shallow, misguided and self-serving (and hypocritical) idealism the Boomers advocated in the 1960s such as escaping the draft. Some would also argue that it is not merely that Generation Xers reject the idealism of the 1960s, but that they bear a deeper cynicism of the fact that such "idealism", inevitably doomed in its gratuitous naïveté, so quickly gave way to an era unequivocally focused on commercial and industrial 'progress'.
And finally my favorite:
It has been said that a "Gen-Xer" differs from a savings bond, in that eventually, a savings bond will mature and earn money.
An interesting read, even if you arent from that generation, there is the entire list of generations at wikipedia, and even if they aren't that accurate, they are certainly entertaining, and make for wonderful 'water cooler conversation starters' For example:
"Hey Spab, how are you today?"
"Oh, I dunno."
"You seem kind of down. Are you sure that you arent bearing a deep cynicism of your parent's self-serving idealism which was inevitably doomed in its gratuitous naïveté, and gave way to an era unequivocally focused on commercial and industrial 'progress'?"
"Huh?"
"Oh, sorry I forgot, you're an American, aren't you?"
Blog on,
-CZ
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Oscar The Grouch
I guess you have to ask yourself if you really care what a bunch of people in Hollywood think is important.
Actors are actors because they don't have any other marketable skills. Their skills rate slightly above Models, and slightly below Stand-Up-Comedians (since *they* actually write their own material). If they had any real talent, they would be in theatre, where there is no ADR, no retakes, no CG, (ie: no Post Production)!
And if actors all want to move to the coast, and band together and call their work meaningful and important...
What-ever. No different than if a bunch of avid role-playing-gamers decided to move to Duluth, MN and look back over the year 2005 in review. I can see the awards now...
Best L.A.R.P. Death
Best Dungeon Trap
Best Dungeon Puzzle Room
Best New Monster
Best Elvish Character Name Not Swiped From LOTR
Best Female Gamer in A Non-Traditional Role Play
Best Sci-Fi Roleplay Game Plot
...You get the idea
As far as comparing movies, it is so subjective the concept doesn't even make sense. Was the Sound Design in Memoirs of a Geisha better than King Kong?
Please.
It is very American to want to pick The Best from all the categories. This is because Americans are very Simple, and *The Best* is a concept for them that is easy to understand. One Winner. Everything else = Loser.
I would rather see a year in review, where they touch on all the movies released, the good and the bad. The High-Budget Blockbusters and the Low Budget Independents. No need to proclaim any of them Winners or Losers. Show me the highlights and lowlights and the memorable performances; that is entertainment.
But showing me what top three of anything that Hollywood thinks is important?
I couldn't care less.
BTW: Isn't California supposed to slide into the ocean any day now? Man, it's taking for-ever...
Blog on,
-CZ
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Actors are actors because they don't have any other marketable skills. Their skills rate slightly above Models, and slightly below Stand-Up-Comedians (since *they* actually write their own material). If they had any real talent, they would be in theatre, where there is no ADR, no retakes, no CG, (ie: no Post Production)!
And if actors all want to move to the coast, and band together and call their work meaningful and important...
What-ever. No different than if a bunch of avid role-playing-gamers decided to move to Duluth, MN and look back over the year 2005 in review. I can see the awards now...
Best L.A.R.P. Death
Best Dungeon Trap
Best Dungeon Puzzle Room
Best New Monster
Best Elvish Character Name Not Swiped From LOTR
Best Female Gamer in A Non-Traditional Role Play
Best Sci-Fi Roleplay Game Plot
...You get the idea
As far as comparing movies, it is so subjective the concept doesn't even make sense. Was the Sound Design in Memoirs of a Geisha better than King Kong?
Please.
It is very American to want to pick The Best from all the categories. This is because Americans are very Simple, and *The Best* is a concept for them that is easy to understand. One Winner. Everything else = Loser.
I would rather see a year in review, where they touch on all the movies released, the good and the bad. The High-Budget Blockbusters and the Low Budget Independents. No need to proclaim any of them Winners or Losers. Show me the highlights and lowlights and the memorable performances; that is entertainment.
But showing me what top three of anything that Hollywood thinks is important?
I couldn't care less.
BTW: Isn't California supposed to slide into the ocean any day now? Man, it's taking for-ever...
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, Hollywood, Movie News
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Letter to Councilman Lindsay Krantz, Ward 3, Crystal MN
Dear Councilman Krantz,
Thank you for the invitation to the meeting concerning the recent pedestrian accident at Co. Rd. 81 near 48th Ave.
While I don’t mean to belittle the accident, it was an isolated incident, and certainly not any kind of trend. The accident rate for Co. Rd 81 is far lower than anyone would expect; given the volume of traffic on 81, and the neighboring population density. Therefore, to suddenly come to the decision/reaction that, '...something must be done to make this stretch of road safer...' is a poor one, when compared to other areas we could focus resources on. For example, on 12 October, 2005, a group of masked men broke into the house next door, and beat and robbed their family at gunpoint, which, to me is much more horrifying than a traffic accident, and if you will check the statistics; Much More Common. I don’t recall any mailings sent out about it, or meetings to discuss '...what we want done, and how we should go about getting it done.'
I don’t agree with using up resources on sensationalistic and extremely rare occurrences, when they could be used more effectively to handle daily problems like crime, pollution, disabled access, etc... In other words, I would rather see the City of Crystal install cameras at major intersections to deter crime, than to install a giant grounding rod because someone walking through town was hit by lightning.
The meeting is a good idea - it allows those feeling outraged and powerless over this extremely emotional event to vent their frustrations, and feel as though they have ‘done’ something. But, before anyone decides to build a bridge, or fence, or tunnel, or run floodlights down the entire length of 81, please make sure the decision is based on reason and statistics, not emotions. Otherwise, we end up with a really expensive memorial that provides little value to the people who have to pay for it.
Respectfully,
Conrad...
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Thank you for the invitation to the meeting concerning the recent pedestrian accident at Co. Rd. 81 near 48th Ave.
While I don’t mean to belittle the accident, it was an isolated incident, and certainly not any kind of trend. The accident rate for Co. Rd 81 is far lower than anyone would expect; given the volume of traffic on 81, and the neighboring population density. Therefore, to suddenly come to the decision/reaction that, '...something must be done to make this stretch of road safer...' is a poor one, when compared to other areas we could focus resources on. For example, on 12 October, 2005, a group of masked men broke into the house next door, and beat and robbed their family at gunpoint, which, to me is much more horrifying than a traffic accident, and if you will check the statistics; Much More Common. I don’t recall any mailings sent out about it, or meetings to discuss '...what we want done, and how we should go about getting it done.'
I don’t agree with using up resources on sensationalistic and extremely rare occurrences, when they could be used more effectively to handle daily problems like crime, pollution, disabled access, etc... In other words, I would rather see the City of Crystal install cameras at major intersections to deter crime, than to install a giant grounding rod because someone walking through town was hit by lightning.
The meeting is a good idea - it allows those feeling outraged and powerless over this extremely emotional event to vent their frustrations, and feel as though they have ‘done’ something. But, before anyone decides to build a bridge, or fence, or tunnel, or run floodlights down the entire length of 81, please make sure the decision is based on reason and statistics, not emotions. Otherwise, we end up with a really expensive memorial that provides little value to the people who have to pay for it.
Respectfully,
Conrad...
Labels: americans, idiots, Open Letter, political
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Consultation Questionnaire
Transforming the U
This questionnaire includes 10 open-ended questions. To enable us to better understand the viewpoints of a cross section of communities at the University, and to be more focused in our recommendations, we encourage you to complete also the optional demographic section. Your responses will be handled in a confidential manner, and, again, no individual responses will be identified.
On behalf of the Task Force on Diversity, thank you for your participation in the strategic positioning process.
1) In your opinion, what are the current efforts that are being effective at:
a. Improving the diversity of faculty and/or staff at the University of Minnesota?
b. Improving the diversity of students at the University of Minnesota?
2) In your opinion, what are the past efforts that have been effective at:
a. Improving the diversity of faculty and/or staff at the University of Minnesota?
Ethnicity, handicap, sexuality, gender and such have no bearing (Positive OR Negative!) on being hired for a position (or at least it better not be....)
b. Improving the diversity of students at the University of Minnesota?
Encouraging group work in courses where it makes sense
Ethnicity, handicap, sexuality, gender and such have no bearing (Positive OR Negative!) on a student's grades (or at least it better not...)
The online registration process is the same for everyone, and easier for all to access.
3) What should be the strategic measures of success for diversity at the University of Minnesota?
When there are no "Special Task Forces" or "questionnaires" on the topic, it will be a non-topic, and you will know you have succeeded.
4) What are the barriers to success for diversity at the University of Minnesota?
The desperate focus on diversity is causing every 'minority' to become a special interest group, which is the exact opposite of the intended effect.
5) Who should be accountable for the state of diversity at the University of Minnesota?
The students and faculty.
6) In what ways should the University collaborate with the external community to enhance the state of diversity at the University of Minnesota?
7) What can be done to create a supportive University environment in which:
a. Students feel understood, respected, and valued?
Modify your business practices to be user-friendly for everyone. This includes registration, bursar, bookstore, etc. Make sure all offices and facilities are handicap accessable. Make sure that those who cannot speak/read English make ESL their top priority. It is not fair to expect teaching to take place across a language barrier.
b. Faculty and staff feel understood, respected, and valued?
Modify your business practices to be user-friendly for everyone. This includes registration, bursar, bookstore, etc. Make sure all offices and facilities are handicap accessable. Make sure that those who cannot speak/read English make ESL their top priority. It is not fair to expect teaching to take place across a language barrier.
8) What are the 4 most important priorities the University should focus on to enhance the state of diversity at the University?
1 - Investigate why diversity is more important to the University than other areas such as safety, inflated tuition rates and fees...
2 - Define what you mean by "enhancing" the state of diversity...
3 - Make facilities more handicap accessable
4 - Improve and expand on Distance Learning techniques and technologies.
9) How might the current state of diversity hinder the University’s ability to achieve its goal of becoming one of the top 3 public research universities in the world?
Wasting resources on Task Forces and Questionnaires on Diversity instead of utilizing Common Sense which is cheaper and faster, will reduce the University's resources for other goals, like "becoming one of the top 3 public research universities in the world."
10) How might an enhanced state of diversity support the University’s ability to achieve its goal of becoming one of the top 3 public research universities in the world?
It really won't, but I suspect the answer you were looking for is something like, "The ability of the University to tap into the diverse knowledge and experience of multiple cultures and backgrouds will make it one of the most robust and resourceful public research universities in the world."
Sincerely,
Conrad Zero
0 Comments
Permalink
This questionnaire includes 10 open-ended questions. To enable us to better understand the viewpoints of a cross section of communities at the University, and to be more focused in our recommendations, we encourage you to complete also the optional demographic section. Your responses will be handled in a confidential manner, and, again, no individual responses will be identified.
On behalf of the Task Force on Diversity, thank you for your participation in the strategic positioning process.
1) In your opinion, what are the current efforts that are being effective at:
a. Improving the diversity of faculty and/or staff at the University of Minnesota?
b. Improving the diversity of students at the University of Minnesota?
2) In your opinion, what are the past efforts that have been effective at:
a. Improving the diversity of faculty and/or staff at the University of Minnesota?
Ethnicity, handicap, sexuality, gender and such have no bearing (Positive OR Negative!) on being hired for a position (or at least it better not be....)
b. Improving the diversity of students at the University of Minnesota?
Encouraging group work in courses where it makes sense
Ethnicity, handicap, sexuality, gender and such have no bearing (Positive OR Negative!) on a student's grades (or at least it better not...)
The online registration process is the same for everyone, and easier for all to access.
3) What should be the strategic measures of success for diversity at the University of Minnesota?
When there are no "Special Task Forces" or "questionnaires" on the topic, it will be a non-topic, and you will know you have succeeded.
4) What are the barriers to success for diversity at the University of Minnesota?
The desperate focus on diversity is causing every 'minority' to become a special interest group, which is the exact opposite of the intended effect.
5) Who should be accountable for the state of diversity at the University of Minnesota?
The students and faculty.
6) In what ways should the University collaborate with the external community to enhance the state of diversity at the University of Minnesota?
7) What can be done to create a supportive University environment in which:
a. Students feel understood, respected, and valued?
Modify your business practices to be user-friendly for everyone. This includes registration, bursar, bookstore, etc. Make sure all offices and facilities are handicap accessable. Make sure that those who cannot speak/read English make ESL their top priority. It is not fair to expect teaching to take place across a language barrier.
b. Faculty and staff feel understood, respected, and valued?
Modify your business practices to be user-friendly for everyone. This includes registration, bursar, bookstore, etc. Make sure all offices and facilities are handicap accessable. Make sure that those who cannot speak/read English make ESL their top priority. It is not fair to expect teaching to take place across a language barrier.
8) What are the 4 most important priorities the University should focus on to enhance the state of diversity at the University?
1 - Investigate why diversity is more important to the University than other areas such as safety, inflated tuition rates and fees...
2 - Define what you mean by "enhancing" the state of diversity...
3 - Make facilities more handicap accessable
4 - Improve and expand on Distance Learning techniques and technologies.
9) How might the current state of diversity hinder the University’s ability to achieve its goal of becoming one of the top 3 public research universities in the world?
Wasting resources on Task Forces and Questionnaires on Diversity instead of utilizing Common Sense which is cheaper and faster, will reduce the University's resources for other goals, like "becoming one of the top 3 public research universities in the world."
10) How might an enhanced state of diversity support the University’s ability to achieve its goal of becoming one of the top 3 public research universities in the world?
It really won't, but I suspect the answer you were looking for is something like, "The ability of the University to tap into the diverse knowledge and experience of multiple cultures and backgrouds will make it one of the most robust and resourceful public research universities in the world."
Sincerely,
Conrad Zero
Labels: americans, Open Letter
Friday, November 04, 2005
Homosexuality Disorder Medication
Just to set the record Straight (pun intended) I am, in fact, Heterosexual. Homosexuality between men? I don't understand it, but help yourself. Homosexuality between women? I don't understand it, but can I watch? I feel the need to bring this up because I recently wore white pleather chaps and a matching vest for Halloween, and if nothing else, it should prove that I am secure in my masculinity.
But 'anti-effeminate medication'? That is some funny shit. What does it do, make you want to putter around in the garage with power tools? Does it make you want to watch old, Black-and-White War movies? Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune magazine? What happens if you overdose? Is there a reverse drug that could make you a homosexual? What if terrorists slipped that drug into Minneapolis' water supply?
And who knew that Homosexuality was a 'disease' that could be 'cured' with medication? Makes one proud to be an American, doesn't it? Is there anything we can't cure with pills? Maybe we could come up with some pills to make people a little fucking smarter? Oh, I forgot, then they wouldn't fall for crap like Hetracil....
Sorry folks, I have to stop, but this is some fertile ground for jokes, and far too easy, so I leave the rest to you as a homework exercise.
Thanks to one of my biggest homosexual musical inspirationsBob Mould for the link.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
But 'anti-effeminate medication'? That is some funny shit. What does it do, make you want to putter around in the garage with power tools? Does it make you want to watch old, Black-and-White War movies? Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune magazine? What happens if you overdose? Is there a reverse drug that could make you a homosexual? What if terrorists slipped that drug into Minneapolis' water supply?
And who knew that Homosexuality was a 'disease' that could be 'cured' with medication? Makes one proud to be an American, doesn't it? Is there anything we can't cure with pills? Maybe we could come up with some pills to make people a little fucking smarter? Oh, I forgot, then they wouldn't fall for crap like Hetracil....
Sorry folks, I have to stop, but this is some fertile ground for jokes, and far too easy, so I leave the rest to you as a homework exercise.
Thanks to one of my biggest homosexual musical inspirationsBob Mould for the link.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, consumerism, Uncool Products
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
The Metric System
OK...Any fucking day now...Any microsecond now... Oh, wait. I forgot, we don't use "micro" round here unless it's followed by "soft", because unlike every other civilized country in the world,
WE HAVENT SWITCHED TO THE FUCKING METRIC SYSTEM YET!!!
Miles Per Hour?
Gallons?
Inches?
Pounds? (And the impossible abbreviation: lb ??? WTF???)
Come on Engineers, make the fucking switch already.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
WE HAVENT SWITCHED TO THE FUCKING METRIC SYSTEM YET!!!
Miles Per Hour?
Gallons?
Inches?
Pounds? (And the impossible abbreviation: lb ??? WTF???)
Come on Engineers, make the fucking switch already.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, rant, Technology, Ubersuck
Monday, July 18, 2005
BMW Has Got Your Back
I'm just glad that BMW makes a vehicle with armour level B4 that can withstand ballistic attacks from a .44 magnum. From the website:
For BMW, personal protection from criminal attack has absolute priority, no matter what situation.
I'm guessing that includes 'situations' where gasoline is five bucks per gallon. Maybe if you drove a car with reasonable gas milage, people wouldn't want to shoot at you. Just remember that if you get this anchor-on-wheels stuck in a snowbank, no one is going to be able to push you out. (No, not even if you pay them.)
Armour on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
For BMW, personal protection from criminal attack has absolute priority, no matter what situation.
I'm guessing that includes 'situations' where gasoline is five bucks per gallon. Maybe if you drove a car with reasonable gas milage, people wouldn't want to shoot at you. Just remember that if you get this anchor-on-wheels stuck in a snowbank, no one is going to be able to push you out. (No, not even if you pay them.)
Armour on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, consumerism, Cool Product
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Dark Dungeons
Alright all you D&D Heathens, rise from the depths (of your parent's basement..)it's time for the sermon!
(Try not to pee your pants laughing...)
[Editor's Log: Stardate March 2007 - I just checked this link for validity, and it is still as funny as ever! I'm sooo glad there are whack-O's like this among us, they make life so much more...diverse.]
-C
0 Comments
Permalink
(Try not to pee your pants laughing...)
[Editor's Log: Stardate March 2007 - I just checked this link for validity, and it is still as funny as ever! I'm sooo glad there are whack-O's like this among us, they make life so much more...diverse.]
-C
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Merry December-Winter-Season-Time
Here in the U.S. of A., there are three 'Hot Buttons' you should be aware of:
Religion, Politics (AKA: The New Religion) and Open Source Software. And really, the latter two are safe to talk about as long as neither person truly understands the subject. But Religion, (Organized religion that is, not the personal relationship between someone and their own existence that I would call Spirituality.) is something you generally avoid bringing up unless you really want to get into a fist-fight.
Especially during 'The Holiday Season'.
Unless, of course, you post it to a blog.
Check out the link above to see how some people are handling the diverse religious cultural 'melting pot' that is America. Realize this is probably a few idiots giving Christanity a bad name, but if you actually meet one and get forced into a corner by some malcontent who demands you write Merry Christmas instead of Seasons Greetings, and a fist-fight seems inevitable (or attractive,) then simply ask them of the following:
1- When was Jesus born? (Answer: Not December - If the shepherds were out tending their sheep in the fields as reported in Luke 2:7-15, then it would not be anywhere near the end of December.)
2- Where is the celebration of Jesus Birthday mentioned in the Bible? (Answer: Its NOT, and if you REALLY want to piss them off, throw in Deuteronomy 4:2, 12:32 and Proverbs 30:6 about 'not adding to what is written'.)
3- Have you heard of any Wiccans getting upset because we refuse to say, "Merry Yule!" ? (Answer: No, because the Christians burned them all at the stake.)
Yule on,
-C
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Permalink
Religion, Politics (AKA: The New Religion) and Open Source Software. And really, the latter two are safe to talk about as long as neither person truly understands the subject. But Religion, (Organized religion that is, not the personal relationship between someone and their own existence that I would call Spirituality.) is something you generally avoid bringing up unless you really want to get into a fist-fight.
Especially during 'The Holiday Season'.
Unless, of course, you post it to a blog.
Check out the link above to see how some people are handling the diverse religious cultural 'melting pot' that is America. Realize this is probably a few idiots giving Christanity a bad name, but if you actually meet one and get forced into a corner by some malcontent who demands you write Merry Christmas instead of Seasons Greetings, and a fist-fight seems inevitable (or attractive,) then simply ask them of the following:
1- When was Jesus born? (Answer: Not December - If the shepherds were out tending their sheep in the fields as reported in Luke 2:7-15, then it would not be anywhere near the end of December.)
2- Where is the celebration of Jesus Birthday mentioned in the Bible? (Answer: Its NOT, and if you REALLY want to piss them off, throw in Deuteronomy 4:2, 12:32 and Proverbs 30:6 about 'not adding to what is written'.)
3- Have you heard of any Wiccans getting upset because we refuse to say, "Merry Yule!" ? (Answer: No, because the Christians burned them all at the stake.)
Yule on,
-C
Friday, December 10, 2004
Shut Up Already
Note to Self: Print some of these to hand out at the theatre.
-C
Two designers have made these warning cards for obnoxious cell phone users, available in convenient PDF download-and-cut-out form. It's a good way to make it clear to people they're talking too loudly, and a good way to eventually get into a good, American fist-fight. Then someone can hand you a card that explains why they found your teeth in their soda to be "more than a little annoying."
"Shut Up Already" [DraplinIndustries via MobileWhack]
[Gizmodo]
Labels: americans, anti, Cool Website, Culture, Web Tools
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Buy Nothing Day
Historically, the day after Thanksgiving is one of the biggest shopping days of the year. The people who put together the "Buy Nothing Day" campaign are upset with the Zombie Consumerism Mentality they see peak at this time of year, the endless marketing hype, and the endless lines of consumers (re)acting like mindless automata.
Sadly, noone told the folks at BuyNothingDay that this is what you get when you mix Free Market + Stupid People. I could sell freeze-dried shit on E-Bay and some fool would buy it. And if I mixed it with carbonated water, a pound of sugar, a little Emo/Rap/Hip/Pop sound, a catchy name (Poopsie? Croak? ShittyPop?) some cool marketing catch phrases (Stick it to the MAN! Drink who you ARE! Drink ShittyPop!"), and showed a teenage midriff or two, PEOPLE WOULD LINE UP FOR IT!
While I agree it makes one want to revoke your American citizinship (See my other blog post about that below), taking it out on the retailers is NOT the solution.
Their suggestion to walk around the stores clogging the isles dressed as Zombies is hysterical, but the practice of buying a bunch of stuff and then returning it immediately over and over is misdirected and wrong. They should know by now the 'stick it to the man' tactics like that only rebound to hurt everybody EXCEPT those whom they are intended for.
If you are upset that the Consumerist Zombies buy everything from WalMart because its cheaper there, there are other things you can do than impeding their freedom to make an uninformed decision. (And if you can't think of any, then you are a different kind of Zombie, and no better than the consumerist ones...)
Blog on,
-C
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Sadly, noone told the folks at BuyNothingDay that this is what you get when you mix Free Market + Stupid People. I could sell freeze-dried shit on E-Bay and some fool would buy it. And if I mixed it with carbonated water, a pound of sugar, a little Emo/Rap/Hip/Pop sound, a catchy name (Poopsie? Croak? ShittyPop?) some cool marketing catch phrases (Stick it to the MAN! Drink who you ARE! Drink ShittyPop!"), and showed a teenage midriff or two, PEOPLE WOULD LINE UP FOR IT!
While I agree it makes one want to revoke your American citizinship (See my other blog post about that below), taking it out on the retailers is NOT the solution.
Their suggestion to walk around the stores clogging the isles dressed as Zombies is hysterical, but the practice of buying a bunch of stuff and then returning it immediately over and over is misdirected and wrong. They should know by now the 'stick it to the man' tactics like that only rebound to hurt everybody EXCEPT those whom they are intended for.
If you are upset that the Consumerist Zombies buy everything from WalMart because its cheaper there, there are other things you can do than impeding their freedom to make an uninformed decision. (And if you can't think of any, then you are a different kind of Zombie, and no better than the consumerist ones...)
Blog on,
-C
Labels: americans, Business Phenomena, consumerism, idiots
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Vote the Rock
Unhappy about the outcome of the US Presidental Election?
Do something about it!
Renounce your citizenship and move to another country! This article shows you your options. (No, I'm not happy about it either, but I'm not going to overdose on Prozac because one of the assholes running for president actually WON. At the very least, the rest of us remaining here won't have to hear you bitch anymore...)
Blog on,
-C
0 Comments
Permalink
Do something about it!
Renounce your citizenship and move to another country! This article shows you your options. (No, I'm not happy about it either, but I'm not going to overdose on Prozac because one of the assholes running for president actually WON. At the very least, the rest of us remaining here won't have to hear you bitch anymore...)
Blog on,
-C
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
The Truth about Dasani
I am SHOCKED AND AMAZED that DASANI IS JUST PLAIN TAP WATER! I cannot Believe the AUDACITY of the Coca-Cola company to misrepresent its product by selling me "Pure" Water with street-credibility as a hip-trendy-and-fashonibly-cool lifestyle choice, only to find out it's no different that water out of my own tap! Next, we will discover that Tommy Hilfiger jeans are the same as regular jeans with a fancy label and hefty price tag!
Gargle on,
-C
0 Comments
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Gargle on,
-C
Labels: americans, consumerism, Funny, Uncool Products
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Pseudo-Coke
All you fucking idiots who are buying into this "Carbs are the Devil" nonsense should be gunned down in the street, followed by the marketing people who are despirately pandering to you with "Atkins friendly" products like this one from Coke, called "C2". (Give the people what they want, right?)
I will try C2 for the novelty of it, and buy one to keep on the shelf, (right next to the bottle of Crystal Pepsi) so I can point to it a couple years from now when you are still overweight and running around yelling "Fat is the Devil". I have an idea! How about instead of reading books on dieting and weight loss, you read a book on Nutrition!
"The Devil is the Devil",
-C
0 Comments
Permalink
I will try C2 for the novelty of it, and buy one to keep on the shelf, (right next to the bottle of Crystal Pepsi) so I can point to it a couple years from now when you are still overweight and running around yelling "Fat is the Devil". I have an idea! How about instead of reading books on dieting and weight loss, you read a book on Nutrition!
"The Devil is the Devil",
-C
Labels: americans, Caffeine, consumerism, Uncool Products
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