Monday, April 09, 2007
Joshua Bell Begging for Attention
This sad investigative story was devised and reported by the Washington Post.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html?hpid=topnews
I don't tend to hand money out to people simply begging for change, but I do tend to tip street musicians and performers, even if they aren't so good. Hey, at least they are Doing Something.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
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http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html?hpid=topnews
I don't tend to hand money out to people simply begging for change, but I do tend to tip street musicians and performers, even if they aren't so good. Hey, at least they are Doing Something.
Blog on,
-CZ
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
An Inconvenient Award
I had heard that the humorous fantasy film, "An Inconvenient Truth" won at the Oscars (which I also just heard were last week, which also tells you how much I care.)
Much to my surprise, I found out it won Best Documentary, which does not make sense to me, since it wasn't Best, and it wasn't a Documentary. I saw enough of it to tell you that a bunch of facts stacked adjacent to each other with a cause-and-effect relationship implied, and humorous quotes between them does not a 'documentary' make.
For example, is the following a documentary, yes or no?
...Now we know that Anna Nicole Smith died the other day, AND she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast the day before she died. Let me repeat that, because it bears repeating.
It is a scientific fact that she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast.
It is a scientific fact that she died the next day.
Now I think we all can see what's going on here, and wasn't it Confucius who said, 'Man who stick hand in pocket feel cocky?' [laughs] ...
Don't misundertake me, the lifestyle of your average Americans needs cleaning up. We need to reduce pollution, at both the business and the consumer levels. People need to be aware of their 'Global Footprint'.
But anyone who tells you they have Scientific Proof of Global Warming or Cooling needs to get a few million years of reliable data before they can even be taken seriously. How do you know that the earth is not on the way back to normal from a temperature fluxuation that started a half million years ago?
The answer? You Don't. And YOU want to fuck with the global thermostat? Keep your fucking hands Off!
Pollution is another matter. You can measure pollutant levels objectively, and we can talk rationally about what causes them, and how to reduce them. You can make a law against world-polluting products like this. But don't show pictures of baby birds and a graph showing the decline in the Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker populations to try guilting everyone into buying a Ford Hybrid.
To put scientific facts next to each other and imply a relationship for your own purposes is Evil, and only works on stupid people. [Editors Note: Perhaps stupid people are the target audience?] It is still Evil EVEN IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE FOR GOOD.
Gandalf the Grey knew this:
"Don't tempt me Frodo! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine..."
See? Gandalf knows shit. Be like Gandalf, and not like Emoman.
Blog on,
-CZ
1 Comments
Permalink
Much to my surprise, I found out it won Best Documentary, which does not make sense to me, since it wasn't Best, and it wasn't a Documentary. I saw enough of it to tell you that a bunch of facts stacked adjacent to each other with a cause-and-effect relationship implied, and humorous quotes between them does not a 'documentary' make.
For example, is the following a documentary, yes or no?
...Now we know that Anna Nicole Smith died the other day, AND she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast the day before she died. Let me repeat that, because it bears repeating.
It is a scientific fact that she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast.
It is a scientific fact that she died the next day.
Now I think we all can see what's going on here, and wasn't it Confucius who said, 'Man who stick hand in pocket feel cocky?' [laughs] ...
Don't misundertake me, the lifestyle of your average Americans needs cleaning up. We need to reduce pollution, at both the business and the consumer levels. People need to be aware of their 'Global Footprint'.
But anyone who tells you they have Scientific Proof of Global Warming or Cooling needs to get a few million years of reliable data before they can even be taken seriously. How do you know that the earth is not on the way back to normal from a temperature fluxuation that started a half million years ago?
The answer? You Don't. And YOU want to fuck with the global thermostat? Keep your fucking hands Off!
Pollution is another matter. You can measure pollutant levels objectively, and we can talk rationally about what causes them, and how to reduce them. You can make a law against world-polluting products like this. But don't show pictures of baby birds and a graph showing the decline in the Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker populations to try guilting everyone into buying a Ford Hybrid.
To put scientific facts next to each other and imply a relationship for your own purposes is Evil, and only works on stupid people. [Editors Note: Perhaps stupid people are the target audience?] It is still Evil EVEN IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE FOR GOOD.
Gandalf the Grey knew this:
"Don't tempt me Frodo! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine..."
See? Gandalf knows shit. Be like Gandalf, and not like Emoman.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, Cultural Observation
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Valentine's Day (Capitolist American Ver.)
The day of Love. Love of money, that is.
Americans have this uncanny knack for working the money-angle on any concept, even one as noble as a holiday for celebrating love. You hear the commercials as well as I do, they are all but unavoidable, and all of them with their same, sick message; If you love your female (yes Female, but I'll get to that in a min...) partner, then you need to prove it with cash.
How vulgar! How ludicrous! How asinine!
How American.
They took Christmas a long time ago. Halloween is right behind, now being recognized as the second largest retail holiday after Xmas. And now, our dear, sweet, not-so-innocent Day of Saint Valentine's, falls prey to rampant consumerism.
Worse yet, the adverts are blatantly sexist.
"Buy HER the gift SHE's always wanted."
"Make sure SHE knows how much you love HER."
Don't believe me? Listen again. Sexist. Consumerism I can almost stomach because it knows no prejudice, but sexism don't fly.
Of course, Steak and BJ Day is the outcome of this silliness and a half-hearted attempt to return balance to the equation. But it's like handing someone a hundred dollars and then punching them in the face. It might balance out, but it still isn't acceptable.
The current state of Valentine's Day has become as trite and offensive as "Steak and BJ Day"
Don't like it? Good. Then don't accept it. Don't tolerate it. Don't feed it, and it will die.
What makes me more sad is that we need a holiday as a reminder to cherish our loved ones.
Blog on,
-CZ
1 Comments
Permalink
Americans have this uncanny knack for working the money-angle on any concept, even one as noble as a holiday for celebrating love. You hear the commercials as well as I do, they are all but unavoidable, and all of them with their same, sick message; If you love your female (yes Female, but I'll get to that in a min...) partner, then you need to prove it with cash.
How vulgar! How ludicrous! How asinine!
How American.
They took Christmas a long time ago. Halloween is right behind, now being recognized as the second largest retail holiday after Xmas. And now, our dear, sweet, not-so-innocent Day of Saint Valentine's, falls prey to rampant consumerism.
Worse yet, the adverts are blatantly sexist.
"Buy HER the gift SHE's always wanted."
"Make sure SHE knows how much you love HER."
Don't believe me? Listen again. Sexist. Consumerism I can almost stomach because it knows no prejudice, but sexism don't fly.
Of course, Steak and BJ Day is the outcome of this silliness and a half-hearted attempt to return balance to the equation. But it's like handing someone a hundred dollars and then punching them in the face. It might balance out, but it still isn't acceptable.
The current state of Valentine's Day has become as trite and offensive as "Steak and BJ Day"
Don't like it? Good. Then don't accept it. Don't tolerate it. Don't feed it, and it will die.
What makes me more sad is that we need a holiday as a reminder to cherish our loved ones.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, consumerism, holidays
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Rated X-mas
I can almost hear the Entire Americanized Christmas Industry, as thought it were comprised of thousands of leeches, howling with hunger, and poised to suck the capitol-blood right out of the consumers wallet-veins.
Who ever thought that a non-refundable expiring line of credit good at only one business would make a good gift?
http://www.ihatechristmas.com/ is spammed out with a bunch of (ready for this?) Advertisements for THINGS TO BUY.
the songs... can anyone, someone, please write a new christmas song? This is closer, but still rehashing or mashing the old stuff. Same here.
Ah well, the lights are pretty, and the kids seem to like it.
So let's all take a moment to remember the True Meaning of Christmas - A Christian attempt to displace the pagan ritual of Yule by taking the Biblical god and dressing him (sorry, Him) up in spandex and fishnet, then saying he looks like The Earth Mother...
Flame on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
Who ever thought that a non-refundable expiring line of credit good at only one business would make a good gift?
http://www.ihatechristmas.com/ is spammed out with a bunch of (ready for this?) Advertisements for THINGS TO BUY.
the songs... can anyone, someone, please write a new christmas song? This is closer, but still rehashing or mashing the old stuff. Same here.
Ah well, the lights are pretty, and the kids seem to like it.
So let's all take a moment to remember the True Meaning of Christmas - A Christian attempt to displace the pagan ritual of Yule by taking the Biblical god and dressing him (sorry, Him) up in spandex and fishnet, then saying he looks like The Earth Mother...
Flame on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, consumerism, holidays
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Halloween Costume Choices
I'm working up a costume for Halloween. Those of you who saw me in 2004 as Marilyn Manson or last year as 'the Ghost of John Wayne' know that I spend more time and prep on this pagan holiday in one year than I have on all Easters combined.
I have two thoughts about Halloween. If you are going to a Halloween party, then you need to wear a costume. That's the point. If you aren't going to wear a costume then stay at home. (And don't be like my neighbors the Jehovah's Witnesses, and pretend you aren't at home. That is bullshit, and you deserve every roll of T.P. that you end up with.)
Furthermore, Halloween should be scary at best, creepy if possible, and surreal at the very least. If the kids wanna dress up like Spider-man that's great. But we already have plenty of 'Holidays' throughout the year that are filled with rainbows, princesses, and cute fucking bunnies. Enough. Come on people, it's Fall, and the land is dying all around you. The dead are here, walking the earth, and if you don't 'treat' them, they will 'trick' you.
And you decide to dress like a pirate.
Like I said, that's pretty surreal, so that's OK in my book. But when the forces of Evil come to my door, my costume is going to scare the piss out of them. So what if I have to clean Satan's piss off my front step? I'll be laughing while I do it.
Anyway, I was just reading about the most popular costume choices for Halloween, and I noticed several things 'wrong with this picture' I will point out a few of them, your homework is to find the remaining 348.
First, why is 'Princess' topping the list for costumes for kids, and 'Witch' is the top costume for Adults? I think this says something about the American Subconscious. Could it be that all little girls are taught (or inbred with) the desire to be rich, beautiful, loved, (and helplessly dependent on some strong, handsome male figure) just like in every God-Damned Disney Film Ever Made? This might explain why 'Red Cross Volunteer' did not make the list. Then again, I don't really speak fashion. Anyone care to interpret for me?
Second, Why are 'Disney Princesses' counted separately from 'Princesses'? Hmm? WTF? A princess is a princess is a princess.
Third, Why is 'Dracula' not counted among the 'Vampires'? Hmm? WTFFF? A vampire is a vampire is a freaking vampire, and not a one of them frightening in the least. I notice they didn't differentiate between 'Butt-Ugly-Witches-With-A-Wart-On-Their-Nose' and the 'Smokin-Hot-Sexy-Witches' which is a HUGE difference, when compared to differentiating Dracula from all other Vampires.
Fourth, Why in the name of all that is flippin good in the world, why are more adults dressing as 'Pumpkins' than as 'French Maids'? This makes me sad.
Blog on,
-CZ
1 Comments
Permalink
I have two thoughts about Halloween. If you are going to a Halloween party, then you need to wear a costume. That's the point. If you aren't going to wear a costume then stay at home. (And don't be like my neighbors the Jehovah's Witnesses, and pretend you aren't at home. That is bullshit, and you deserve every roll of T.P. that you end up with.)
Furthermore, Halloween should be scary at best, creepy if possible, and surreal at the very least. If the kids wanna dress up like Spider-man that's great. But we already have plenty of 'Holidays' throughout the year that are filled with rainbows, princesses, and cute fucking bunnies. Enough. Come on people, it's Fall, and the land is dying all around you. The dead are here, walking the earth, and if you don't 'treat' them, they will 'trick' you.
And you decide to dress like a pirate.
Like I said, that's pretty surreal, so that's OK in my book. But when the forces of Evil come to my door, my costume is going to scare the piss out of them. So what if I have to clean Satan's piss off my front step? I'll be laughing while I do it.
Anyway, I was just reading about the most popular costume choices for Halloween, and I noticed several things 'wrong with this picture' I will point out a few of them, your homework is to find the remaining 348.
First, why is 'Princess' topping the list for costumes for kids, and 'Witch' is the top costume for Adults? I think this says something about the American Subconscious. Could it be that all little girls are taught (or inbred with) the desire to be rich, beautiful, loved, (and helplessly dependent on some strong, handsome male figure) just like in every God-Damned Disney Film Ever Made? This might explain why 'Red Cross Volunteer' did not make the list. Then again, I don't really speak fashion. Anyone care to interpret for me?
Second, Why are 'Disney Princesses' counted separately from 'Princesses'? Hmm? WTF? A princess is a princess is a princess.
Third, Why is 'Dracula' not counted among the 'Vampires'? Hmm? WTFFF? A vampire is a vampire is a freaking vampire, and not a one of them frightening in the least. I notice they didn't differentiate between 'Butt-Ugly-Witches-With-A-Wart-On-Their-Nose' and the 'Smokin-Hot-Sexy-Witches' which is a HUGE difference, when compared to differentiating Dracula from all other Vampires.
Fourth, Why in the name of all that is flippin good in the world, why are more adults dressing as 'Pumpkins' than as 'French Maids'? This makes me sad.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, Cultural Observation, rant
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Miles Per Dollar
I don't get too bent about gas prices. I actually think it's kind of funny that people drive their Chevy Grand Suburban GTXLS Warner Bros Edition to work every day, and then get their knickers in a twist when gas prices go up fifty cents. They are the first to jump on the web and hunt down the cheapest gas prices in town. Instead of going to sites like this one *before* they buy a vehicle.
Kind of seems like eating an Octawhopper every day for lunch, and then going to the gym to work it off.
Heh, Americans.
Blog on,
-CZ
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Kind of seems like eating an Octawhopper every day for lunch, and then going to the gym to work it off.
Heh, Americans.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, consumerism
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
The End Is Near: Thank God!
Not sure yet if this site was meant to scare people with the perpetual knowledge that the entire Mulitverse might shut down Any Fucking Minute Now...
...or to cheer up people like me, who can't wait for Universal Retirement.
Those who didn't think the end was coming, I give you:
Obvious Signs of the End Of Days
- Metal Emo (WTF?)
- The Existence of Marilyn Manson
- The Existance of Mark Mallman
- The Existance of a musical genre called "Hip-Hop"
- The Existance of Ringtones for The Fray's 'Over My Head'
- The fact that Dashboard Confessional has more 'friends' than Motorhead
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
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...or to cheer up people like me, who can't wait for Universal Retirement.
Those who didn't think the end was coming, I give you:
Obvious Signs of the End Of Days
- Metal Emo (WTF?)
- The Existence of Marilyn Manson
- The Existance of Mark Mallman
- The Existance of a musical genre called "Hip-Hop"
- The Existance of Ringtones for The Fray's 'Over My Head'
- The fact that Dashboard Confessional has more 'friends' than Motorhead
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, Predictions
Monday, August 21, 2006
Human Frogger
Well, I hope you-all are having a better day/week/life than I...
But at least my day isn't this bad.
Then again, I'm not that stupid.
Blog on,
-CZ
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But at least my day isn't this bad.
Then again, I'm not that stupid.
Blog on,
-CZ
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
MN - Land of 10,000 Dickheads?
I stopped in at the drugstore (S.A.) in order to score (purchase) some non-prescription uppers (Jolt Cherry Bomb Cola) and in the middle of negotiations (while standing in line at the checkout) some strange cat (dude) bursts in the door, and in a casually-cruel tone directed at the two ladies behind the counter says, "Your fucking gas pumps don't work for shit, so I'm taking my business someplace else."
His attitude was so leisurely about the whole thing, and the women's reaction to it was so mild, I thought they must know him from somewhere. I laughed, and so did both ladies behind the counter and the two other people in line. Then the guy turned and stormed out. I turned to the person behind the counter and she just shook her head. I still couldn't tell exactly what had just happened. Maybe he was a mentally disturbed person making his daily circuit? Perhaps it was a coworker, trying to be funny? An out-of-work Improv actor who, at any moment, would come bursting back in with another strange persona?
"Was that guy serious?" I asked, still smiling.
"Afraid so," was the reply.
My smile faded. Strange how she wasn't surprised at all. "How, um, how often does *that* happen?"
"Every day."
"Yeah," the other lady chimed in, "at *least* once a day."
I suddenly felt the way I imagine Neo felt swallowing the red pill and having the veil of falseness ripped out from between himself and the rest of the world. Except maybe divide that by a couple million, but still... At least once per day, some dickhead takes out their aggression on the people behind the counter? AT LEAST ONCE PER DAY? Wow. This is what I'm talking about when I use the term Americans as a derogatory adjective.
If you have bad service, or receive bad product, or have a bad experience at a business, here are some things you can do that Don't entail wrecking the day of someone right out of High School who works for minimum wage and has to deal with dickheads like You all day...
1- Write a letter. Leave a letter for the manager, and let them know what a bad experience you had. This assumes you know how to write, you dickhead.
2- Send an e-mail. This assumes you have access to a computer, or at least a friend who has access to a computer. If you weren't such a dickhead, you might actually have some friends who would help you with this.
3- Ask to see the manager, and ask him/her what he/she is going to do about this problem. This is a huge pain in the ass, I know. But, the manager is the only one who gets paid to give a crap about making complaining dickheads like you happy. The manager is also the only one who might give a crap and do something about your complaint. Otherwise you are wasting your breath. The people behind the counter just laugh at you. The ones who aren't dickheads themselves will wait until after you are gone to laugh at you.
4- Don't Patronize That Place of Business. This one is the easiest, and even a dickhead like you should be able to pull this one off.
5- Don't Patronize That Place of Business and Tell Everyone You Know Not To Patronize It Either. I was recently at the CC Club and watched some positively Horrendous service in action from two separate bartenders. I know of some people (non-dickheads, in case you were wondering) who are going to #5 that place big time.
6 - Realize That There Are Other Dickheads In The World Besides Yourself, And Some Of Them Work In The Customer Service Industry. And you might just hold back judgement of an entire business based on your experience with one person. Just like everyone else should hold back judgement of your family based on their experience with a dickhead like you.
Every fucking day. Wow.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
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His attitude was so leisurely about the whole thing, and the women's reaction to it was so mild, I thought they must know him from somewhere. I laughed, and so did both ladies behind the counter and the two other people in line. Then the guy turned and stormed out. I turned to the person behind the counter and she just shook her head. I still couldn't tell exactly what had just happened. Maybe he was a mentally disturbed person making his daily circuit? Perhaps it was a coworker, trying to be funny? An out-of-work Improv actor who, at any moment, would come bursting back in with another strange persona?
"Was that guy serious?" I asked, still smiling.
"Afraid so," was the reply.
My smile faded. Strange how she wasn't surprised at all. "How, um, how often does *that* happen?"
"Every day."
"Yeah," the other lady chimed in, "at *least* once a day."
I suddenly felt the way I imagine Neo felt swallowing the red pill and having the veil of falseness ripped out from between himself and the rest of the world. Except maybe divide that by a couple million, but still... At least once per day, some dickhead takes out their aggression on the people behind the counter? AT LEAST ONCE PER DAY? Wow. This is what I'm talking about when I use the term Americans as a derogatory adjective.
If you have bad service, or receive bad product, or have a bad experience at a business, here are some things you can do that Don't entail wrecking the day of someone right out of High School who works for minimum wage and has to deal with dickheads like You all day...
1- Write a letter. Leave a letter for the manager, and let them know what a bad experience you had. This assumes you know how to write, you dickhead.
2- Send an e-mail. This assumes you have access to a computer, or at least a friend who has access to a computer. If you weren't such a dickhead, you might actually have some friends who would help you with this.
3- Ask to see the manager, and ask him/her what he/she is going to do about this problem. This is a huge pain in the ass, I know. But, the manager is the only one who gets paid to give a crap about making complaining dickheads like you happy. The manager is also the only one who might give a crap and do something about your complaint. Otherwise you are wasting your breath. The people behind the counter just laugh at you. The ones who aren't dickheads themselves will wait until after you are gone to laugh at you.
4- Don't Patronize That Place of Business. This one is the easiest, and even a dickhead like you should be able to pull this one off.
5- Don't Patronize That Place of Business and Tell Everyone You Know Not To Patronize It Either. I was recently at the CC Club and watched some positively Horrendous service in action from two separate bartenders. I know of some people (non-dickheads, in case you were wondering) who are going to #5 that place big time.
6 - Realize That There Are Other Dickheads In The World Besides Yourself, And Some Of Them Work In The Customer Service Industry. And you might just hold back judgement of an entire business based on your experience with one person. Just like everyone else should hold back judgement of your family based on their experience with a dickhead like you.
Every fucking day. Wow.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, anti, Business Phenomena, Etiquette
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
True Democracy
Someone can tell all the idiots in Washington D.C. to go home now, and get real jobs. Thanks much, but we can handle it from here.
How's that you ask? How are we, meager, mild-mannered citizens able to take control of decisions made at a national level? We already do.
I will admit it's kind of sad that the best model for our government comes from a 'Reality' TV show, but no one can deny that it operates under true democracy. Issues can be listed on the evening news, and concerned citizens can cast their vote by phone, or internet, or e-mail ballot. A computer (which really needs to be called "Big Brother" or "Deep Thought"...) can track the votes, and debates can be held on www.wikipedia.org. Hell, Simon can even provide running commentary; he can turn to the board and say, 'Survey Says...' every time the numbers are updated like on Family Feud. We could have Vanna White stand there and do the same thing she does on Wheel of Fortune: Nothing.
To keep the process fair, everyone must have access to TV/radio/phone/internet. Thanks to the public library system, broadcast TV, and public radio, this is mostly the case.
No more 'Representatives' who have their own agendas and can be swayed by special interest groups. No more 'Electoral College' bullshit. Are you Anti-Abortion? Anti-Gun? Anti-Dashboard Confessional? Cast your vote, and if you are in the minority, deal with it. Fuck the 'checks and balances' and the '3-ring circus'.
No more Jury system. Broadcast all trials on TV/internet, and everyone turns in their vote. All the money that went into funding our 'representatives' can be reduced to a roomful of servers and a handful of underpaid geeks to play Oblivion and reboot the servers when they crash.
It will be argued that this system would be prone to some problems, for instance, if 51% of Americans hated Michael Jackson, they might have voted his plastic ass into prison just because they didn't like him, and not based on whether he was guilty or not. The same case can be made rich people/parties buying up the votes of the people who don't give a damn. I can see the commercials now, "Vote to Burn all of Dashboard Confessional's Albums and their lead signer, and I will give you one dollar! Paid for by the Conrad Hates Dashboard Confessional committee."
This argument is a valid one, but I never said that Democracy was the best system of Government. Especially for a group of people as narrow, selfish, and uneducated as Americans, but I'm saying it would be a true democracy, and not the sham we have now.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
How's that you ask? How are we, meager, mild-mannered citizens able to take control of decisions made at a national level? We already do.
I will admit it's kind of sad that the best model for our government comes from a 'Reality' TV show, but no one can deny that it operates under true democracy. Issues can be listed on the evening news, and concerned citizens can cast their vote by phone, or internet, or e-mail ballot. A computer (which really needs to be called "Big Brother" or "Deep Thought"...) can track the votes, and debates can be held on www.wikipedia.org. Hell, Simon can even provide running commentary; he can turn to the board and say, 'Survey Says...' every time the numbers are updated like on Family Feud. We could have Vanna White stand there and do the same thing she does on Wheel of Fortune: Nothing.
To keep the process fair, everyone must have access to TV/radio/phone/internet. Thanks to the public library system, broadcast TV, and public radio, this is mostly the case.
No more 'Representatives' who have their own agendas and can be swayed by special interest groups. No more 'Electoral College' bullshit. Are you Anti-Abortion? Anti-Gun? Anti-Dashboard Confessional? Cast your vote, and if you are in the minority, deal with it. Fuck the 'checks and balances' and the '3-ring circus'.
No more Jury system. Broadcast all trials on TV/internet, and everyone turns in their vote. All the money that went into funding our 'representatives' can be reduced to a roomful of servers and a handful of underpaid geeks to play Oblivion and reboot the servers when they crash.
It will be argued that this system would be prone to some problems, for instance, if 51% of Americans hated Michael Jackson, they might have voted his plastic ass into prison just because they didn't like him, and not based on whether he was guilty or not. The same case can be made rich people/parties buying up the votes of the people who don't give a damn. I can see the commercials now, "Vote to Burn all of Dashboard Confessional's Albums and their lead signer, and I will give you one dollar! Paid for by the Conrad Hates Dashboard Confessional committee."
This argument is a valid one, but I never said that Democracy was the best system of Government. Especially for a group of people as narrow, selfish, and uneducated as Americans, but I'm saying it would be a true democracy, and not the sham we have now.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, Million Dollar Idea, political
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
America the Strange
Ugly = Beautiful Just ask the designers of the H2, Aztec, and all the other square Humvee-Wannabees. Just ask the people who put Julia Roberts face on magazines.
Stupid = Clever Just ask the marketing genius behind Arby’s “Oven Mitt” ad campaign.
Untalented = Talented Dashboard Confessional, Kid Rock, q.e.d.
Old = New Starsky and Hutch? The Dukes Of Hazzard?
Boring = Interesting – The Apprentice, Survivor, and pretty much any “reality” TV show nameable. Brad and Jen.
Not Funny = Funny King of the Hill, South Park, Family Guy. Tom Green. Adam Sandler. I could go on and on...
Poor Quality = Good Quality Especially in the music spectrum (where it is called “Indie” or “Lo Fi”) but also in video (Blair Witch Project, Independent Films...)
Evil = Good I will let you PoliSci Majors fill this one in for me
And people wonder how I am able to use the word “American...” as a condescending adjective. Heh. People who call used cars “pre-owned” as though it were some kind of advantageous selling point? People who use SUV’s as a single passenger vehicle, driving them to work each day and complaining about the price of gasoline?
I've decided that I am from Canada.
Blog on,
-CZ
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Stupid = Clever Just ask the marketing genius behind Arby’s “Oven Mitt” ad campaign.
Untalented = Talented Dashboard Confessional, Kid Rock, q.e.d.
Old = New Starsky and Hutch? The Dukes Of Hazzard?
Boring = Interesting – The Apprentice, Survivor, and pretty much any “reality” TV show nameable. Brad and Jen.
Not Funny = Funny King of the Hill, South Park, Family Guy. Tom Green. Adam Sandler. I could go on and on...
Poor Quality = Good Quality Especially in the music spectrum (where it is called “Indie” or “Lo Fi”) but also in video (Blair Witch Project, Independent Films...)
Evil = Good I will let you PoliSci Majors fill this one in for me
And people wonder how I am able to use the word “American...” as a condescending adjective. Heh. People who call used cars “pre-owned” as though it were some kind of advantageous selling point? People who use SUV’s as a single passenger vehicle, driving them to work each day and complaining about the price of gasoline?
I've decided that I am from Canada.
Blog on,
-CZ
Monday, May 08, 2006
Stick It To The Man - No Gas in 2007!
If everyone in the USA, Canada, Belize, Antarctica and Micronesia did not purchase a drop of gasoline/petroleum for one year, and all at the same time, the oil companies would choke on their stockpiles!
At the same time, it would hit the entire industry with a net loss of over...well...billions and billions! It would end jobs for thousands of gas station workers and managers, truck drivers, refinery workers, utility companies, etc..., and most likely upset the global economy, but what's *really* important is that it will STICK IT TO OPEC!
Therefore, 2007 has been formally declared "Stick It To OPEC, Along With Thousands of Petroleum Industry Employees Year"! and no one should buy any gas or petroleum products for the entire year! Turn off the gas appliances in your house, (Stove, Clothes Dryer, Furnace...) and put all the keys for your gasoline-powered vehicles in a safe deposit box for just one year, and "Stick It To OPEC, Along With Thousands of Petroleum Industry Employees"!!!
The only way this can be done is if you forward this e-mail to as many people as you can, and as quickly as you can to get the word out! Waiting for the government to step in and control the prices is not going to happen. [Editors Note: Sorry, should have ended that last sentence with an exclamation point!]
Remember one thing - not only is the price of gasoline going up, but at the same time airlines are forced to raise their prices (OK, that's two things), trucking companies are forced to raise their prices (Fine, three things, but that's it!) which effects prices on everything that is shipped! Things like food, clothing, building materials, and Humvee parts! Who pays in the end? We do!
Make no mistake, we can make a difference! Think of how much tax money we can save in road repair alone by not driving on the roads for an entire year! Not to mention auto insurance and those expensive Humvee parts!
If they don't get the message after one year, then we will do it again and again!
So do your part and spread the word! Forward this e-mail to everyone you know! Mark your calendars and make 2007 a year that the citizens of USA, Canada, Belize, Antarctica and Micronesia band together and say, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"!
Blog on,
-Conrad Zero
www.conradzero.com
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At the same time, it would hit the entire industry with a net loss of over...well...billions and billions! It would end jobs for thousands of gas station workers and managers, truck drivers, refinery workers, utility companies, etc..., and most likely upset the global economy, but what's *really* important is that it will STICK IT TO OPEC!
Therefore, 2007 has been formally declared "Stick It To OPEC, Along With Thousands of Petroleum Industry Employees Year"! and no one should buy any gas or petroleum products for the entire year! Turn off the gas appliances in your house, (Stove, Clothes Dryer, Furnace...) and put all the keys for your gasoline-powered vehicles in a safe deposit box for just one year, and "Stick It To OPEC, Along With Thousands of Petroleum Industry Employees"!!!
The only way this can be done is if you forward this e-mail to as many people as you can, and as quickly as you can to get the word out! Waiting for the government to step in and control the prices is not going to happen. [Editors Note: Sorry, should have ended that last sentence with an exclamation point!]
Remember one thing - not only is the price of gasoline going up, but at the same time airlines are forced to raise their prices (OK, that's two things), trucking companies are forced to raise their prices (Fine, three things, but that's it!) which effects prices on everything that is shipped! Things like food, clothing, building materials, and Humvee parts! Who pays in the end? We do!
Make no mistake, we can make a difference! Think of how much tax money we can save in road repair alone by not driving on the roads for an entire year! Not to mention auto insurance and those expensive Humvee parts!
If they don't get the message after one year, then we will do it again and again!
So do your part and spread the word! Forward this e-mail to everyone you know! Mark your calendars and make 2007 a year that the citizens of USA, Canada, Belize, Antarctica and Micronesia band together and say, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"!
Blog on,
-Conrad Zero
www.conradzero.com
Labels: americans, idiots, Million Dollar Idea, Open Letter
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Talkin' Bout My Generation (X)
Trying to give defining characteristics to generations is really no different than the daily horoscopes: "Wow, I'd better be careful, my Horoscope says that I will be attacked by a drunken skydiver on the way home from work!"
Of course I'm kidding, horoscopes are never that specific. They are more likely to say things like; all Taurans will have "...conditions favorable for romance..." which could mean anything at all, and suddenly hearing David Sanborn while listening to The Current on the way home qualifies, making horoscopes about as accurate as my Magic 8-Ball
Of course applying any specific characteristic to any group is stereotyping, and generally frowned upon. "All Americans Are Fucking Idiots" is not only an easy claim to disarm ("Well, Americans invented TIVO, the light bulb and Family Guy, right?"), it also does not go over well when speaking with Americans.
TIP: A simple adjustment, "Most Americans Are Fucking Idiots" is a pretty solid surface to host an argument, especially if the person you are talking to is American, because we all know they are all fucking idiots.
Anyways,you can probably guess my reaction when someone comes along and tries to tell you what you are like, based on your race, religion, the lines on your palm, or when you were born.
This analysis of Generation X-ers was a surprising read for me, since I immediately tend to shatter any kind of label put on myself. Of course, this 'instinctive rebellion' makes me a great candidate for Reverse Psychology Behaviour Modeling...but I re-digress. I was surprised that I agreed with some of the defining characteristics, and while I could quote the entire article, I put the highlights below.
Despite their generational attitude against collectivism, Generation Xers take some group pride in their generation. In math, "X" stands for 'substitute anything', and Gen X takes some collective pride in their own tolerance, diversity and inability to be labeled.
While Gen X childhood was filled with Brady Bunch/Happy Days/Eight-is-Enough, their teen/college years included "Married With Children", an internally-competitive family yet a unified team/unit if the family was threatened. This is one example of a new Gen X paradigm: individual competitiveness yet loyalty as compatible and healthy societal concepts.
Some have suggested Xer's generational pride translates into active rebellion against what Gen X believed was the shallow, misguided and self-serving (and hypocritical) idealism the Boomers advocated in the 1960s such as escaping the draft. Some would also argue that it is not merely that Generation Xers reject the idealism of the 1960s, but that they bear a deeper cynicism of the fact that such "idealism", inevitably doomed in its gratuitous naïveté, so quickly gave way to an era unequivocally focused on commercial and industrial 'progress'.
And finally my favorite:
It has been said that a "Gen-Xer" differs from a savings bond, in that eventually, a savings bond will mature and earn money.
An interesting read, even if you arent from that generation, there is the entire list of generations at wikipedia, and even if they aren't that accurate, they are certainly entertaining, and make for wonderful 'water cooler conversation starters' For example:
"Hey Spab, how are you today?"
"Oh, I dunno."
"You seem kind of down. Are you sure that you arent bearing a deep cynicism of your parent's self-serving idealism which was inevitably doomed in its gratuitous naïveté, and gave way to an era unequivocally focused on commercial and industrial 'progress'?"
"Huh?"
"Oh, sorry I forgot, you're an American, aren't you?"
Blog on,
-CZ
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Of course I'm kidding, horoscopes are never that specific. They are more likely to say things like; all Taurans will have "...conditions favorable for romance..." which could mean anything at all, and suddenly hearing David Sanborn while listening to The Current on the way home qualifies, making horoscopes about as accurate as my Magic 8-Ball
Of course applying any specific characteristic to any group is stereotyping, and generally frowned upon. "All Americans Are Fucking Idiots" is not only an easy claim to disarm ("Well, Americans invented TIVO, the light bulb and Family Guy, right?"), it also does not go over well when speaking with Americans.
TIP: A simple adjustment, "Most Americans Are Fucking Idiots" is a pretty solid surface to host an argument, especially if the person you are talking to is American, because we all know they are all fucking idiots.
Anyways,you can probably guess my reaction when someone comes along and tries to tell you what you are like, based on your race, religion, the lines on your palm, or when you were born.
This analysis of Generation X-ers was a surprising read for me, since I immediately tend to shatter any kind of label put on myself. Of course, this 'instinctive rebellion' makes me a great candidate for Reverse Psychology Behaviour Modeling...but I re-digress. I was surprised that I agreed with some of the defining characteristics, and while I could quote the entire article, I put the highlights below.
Despite their generational attitude against collectivism, Generation Xers take some group pride in their generation. In math, "X" stands for 'substitute anything', and Gen X takes some collective pride in their own tolerance, diversity and inability to be labeled.
While Gen X childhood was filled with Brady Bunch/Happy Days/Eight-is-Enough, their teen/college years included "Married With Children", an internally-competitive family yet a unified team/unit if the family was threatened. This is one example of a new Gen X paradigm: individual competitiveness yet loyalty as compatible and healthy societal concepts.
Some have suggested Xer's generational pride translates into active rebellion against what Gen X believed was the shallow, misguided and self-serving (and hypocritical) idealism the Boomers advocated in the 1960s such as escaping the draft. Some would also argue that it is not merely that Generation Xers reject the idealism of the 1960s, but that they bear a deeper cynicism of the fact that such "idealism", inevitably doomed in its gratuitous naïveté, so quickly gave way to an era unequivocally focused on commercial and industrial 'progress'.
And finally my favorite:
It has been said that a "Gen-Xer" differs from a savings bond, in that eventually, a savings bond will mature and earn money.
An interesting read, even if you arent from that generation, there is the entire list of generations at wikipedia, and even if they aren't that accurate, they are certainly entertaining, and make for wonderful 'water cooler conversation starters' For example:
"Hey Spab, how are you today?"
"Oh, I dunno."
"You seem kind of down. Are you sure that you arent bearing a deep cynicism of your parent's self-serving idealism which was inevitably doomed in its gratuitous naïveté, and gave way to an era unequivocally focused on commercial and industrial 'progress'?"
"Huh?"
"Oh, sorry I forgot, you're an American, aren't you?"
Blog on,
-CZ
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