The line between video games and movies blurrs even more with this amazing trailer for the new World of Warcraft game: Wrath of the Lich King

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: new release, Video Games

When my monitor of almost ten freaking years went kitty-wompus, I saved my pennies and splurged on a nice 22-inch LCD monitor. Of course I was eager for something to test it out.

Sifting through my pile of unfinished video games, I came across Portal, a member of Valve's Orange Box. Wicked addictive fun, it was; and from what I read after completing the game, it drew higher praise than the other components of the Orange Box.

Portal is a puzzle-style game. Your character doesn't have a truly offensive weapon, simply a Portal Gun, which opens teleport planes to allow you to move things (most importantly yourself) from place to place. The physics of the game are great fun, and often necessary to solve the puzzles and advance to the next test area.

The best part of the game is the dialog of the computer construct which tutors you as you go through the various 'tests'. The dialog for the game is as quotable as any good movie. Reprinting it here does not do it justice. The affect and tone are just as important as the lines. The promises of "cake" for completing puzzles is hysterical.

I won't spoil the ending, and I won't tell you if there truly is cake at the end, but there is a song that is quite funny. The game took me about 6 hours total to finish.

Thanks much to Saveau for the Portal tip. It was a great distraction and a good test for my new monitor.

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: Video Games

Below is a video review of the videogame Manhunt from the Escapist Magazine's Zero Punctuation column. I haven't played the game myself, but it sounds like if you're a twelve-year-old boy, and like Rob Zombie or Quentin Tarrintino films, you would probably like Manhunt. This video review by Yahtzee seems to agree. If nothing else, the video review itself is Really Funny, and Free, and Way Shorter than the game Manhunt:




Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: Funny, Video Games, Videos

Um...



...WOW...

KTHXBYE,
-CZ

Labels: Video Games, Videos

An old issue of Escapist Magazine prompted several strange realizations.

First, being in Edit mode for so long whilst working on the Demonslayer's Handbook, has increased the abilities of my Inner Philosopher to analyze/edit text as I read.

Second, if I'm not making use of my Inner Philosopher to edit or analyze (for instance, when I'm reading for entertainment), then he reads annoyingly over my shoulder, and provides useless analysis and editorials, and sometimes dirty jokes. Often, he does Not analyze what I'm reading, but uses it instead as a seed for a new and often surprising branch of thought into some almost-related area.

Third (and it was this third realization which made me realize the first two) was that while reading about whether video games should be considered 'art' or not, my Inner Philosopher suggested that people who play First Person Shooter Video Games might have a different approach to death and violence than those who prefer Third Person Shooters, such as Diablo, Command and Conquer, and the like.

Personally, I can't get into Video Games that have a "Top Down" view, because the view takes me "out" of the game. Being in first person makes me feel more connected, it removes a level of "suspension of disbelief" and makes the game more entertaining for me. I do wish they would hurry up and get the Holodeck Virtual Reality thing figured out in my lifetime, because that would be better yet...

Also, I much prefer Video Games where you control One character. Not Two, Not Ten, and certainly not tens of thousands. I have to juggle multiple tasks and ever-changing priorities every day at work, it's like juggling cats, and there's not much entertainment in that for me. Give me an objective, and a gun...hell, give me an objective and a crowbar, and I'm happy. But managing and allocating resources? Ick. Why do *I* have to do all the managerial work? And why shoud the 'bots have all the fun?

Anyway, my Inner Philosopher was pointing out a major difference between "Top Down" and "First Person" viewpoints: Those playing from Top Down will see their character(s) die, and those in First Person will experience their character's death Pseudo-Firsthand. Likewise, those watching from Top Down will watch their characters performing horrific deeds, but those in First Person will perform the deeds themselves. It is a subtle but significant difference, like programming a robot to perform a task instead of doing it yourself. There is an added level of abstraction to the Top Down view, while the First Person view is more immediate.

Strangely enough my preference in stories is the exact opposite from my preference for video games. I like stories told from the "Top View" or "God View", or more correctly, "Omniscient Narrator" point of view. There have been very few stories told from the first person that pull me into the story; 'The Metamorphosis' by Franz Kafka does - "The Divine Comedy" Trilogy by Dante Alighieri is another. In these few cases, I was able to identify with the storyteller, and feel what they feel.

But I notice many of the current Monster-Hunter genre stories are written from a first-person perspective, and they just don't do it for me. When I see them on the shelf, I open the book to some random page, and read some text. If the story is written from First Person Perspective, I generally pass. Although, I recently read Lilith Saintcrow's book 'Dead Man Rising' which was in First Person, and it was a big part of the reason I didn't care for the book.

The First Person Perspective is difficult to pull off, sometimes writers get stuck and have to cheat by shifting out of First Person, which completely wrecks my faith in them as a writer. If you choose to write from the hero's point of view throughout the story, you need to make it work.

Anyway, it seems to me that the University of Minnesota Psychology Department should be looking into this.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Inner Philosopher, Video Games, Writing

Wouldn't it be cool if someone were to mix the Karaoke Revolution and Guitar Hero games together, maybe add bass and drums and keys and have an entire virtual band game? Everyone in the group would contribute to the group score, attempting to play along with some classics. Maybe even have a couple Dance-Dance-Revolution Cage Dancers, and a Sound Board Operator to mix it and a Lighting Director... Maybe square off against other virtual bands over the internet...

A cool twist would be to make it into a game show like those lame-ass "Model" or "American Idol" shows that everyone watches. I wouldn't watch it myself, but hey: instant ratings.

Well, the first part of this grand scheme is coming to fruition: since EA released this announcement of the upcoming Rock Band Game.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Million Dollar Idea, Video Games

I wasn't aware that gamerz needed a "voice". Aparrently, the Entertainment Consumers Association at www.right2game.com thinks they do. Their adverts and website claim yet another version of 'the Man keeping us down' and suggest you supplement the cause.

Is there a demographic left that doesn't have it's own political platform? Some organization put together as fast as they can slap a 3-letter acronym on it, so people can "Make their voice heard" and "defend against threatening political activity"?

I have an idea - since over 90 percent of Americans are idiots, I came to the realization that their needs aren't being met by the government. I have invented an assocation for them, (literally, I just now thought this up) the A.S.S. which stands for Assocation for Stupid Sitizins. The odds are good that someone you know is an idiot (YOU of course, are not an idiot, YOU are an intelligent, thoughtful, bright, and uber-cool individual, for the simple fact that you read this blog.)

The A.S.S. is here to represent Stupid People, and make sure that their voice can be heard, preserve their right to be idiots, and that they receive the freedoms they are entitled to. Just send me money, and I will make sure that the Idiots of America have a voice. Because if anyone is qualified to be a 'Voice' for the American Idiot, it's me.

I'm Conrad Zero, and I approve this message.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: anti, political, Video Games

Ever since computer games have been able to network and play cooperatively (I think the first one I played on a network was Quake...) I have enjoyed the strange phenomenon of the LAN Party.

For those who don't know, a LAN Party is where you lug your computer, monitor, keyboard, mouse, game controllers, power cords, extension cables, a myriad of games (and your Windows System Disk, just in case), maybe a USB drive full of games, a mittfull of blank media, chips, and enough caffeine to kill yourself and head over to your buddy's house, spend an evening trying to figure out the intricacies of TCP/IP vs IPX/SPX Protocols. If you are lucky, or have a computer science major, you will be able to network your computers and frag each other to virtual bits, or even better, team up against virtual baddies and overload on virtual ultraviolence until the sun comes up.

Strange, I know. Years from now, when "That 00's Show" comes on, they will show some geeky teen loading up a huge beige computer and monitor into the trunk of their 96 Saturn, and heading off to a LAN Party, and the audience will laugh....

Anyways, with increased bandwidth that broadband gives us, the LAN party seems to be shifting more towards the virtual lounge. Now that my friends have High-Speed connections at home, we can play BF2142 and run Teamspeak on the side, and talk to each other like we were there in the room together. It isn't that different from an actual LAN party - you're mostly making table talk, and you don't make much eye contact, because you're focused on the game.

I agree, it isn't a whole lot of fun to disconnect all that crap and discover how much dust and cat hair is caked on the back of your PC chassis, stuff it all in your vehicle, haul it across town, unpack, hook it all up, only to unpack/set up, then break it all down again, pack it up again, and drive home at some ungodly hour with your brain fried to a crisp on 12 straight hours of caffeine, adrenaline, ultraviolence and Doritos.

But I still enjoy the moments between the games; deprogramming what happened and what others might have missed. There is more to a LAN party than just voice chat. That goes for other things as well.

Can you imagine two people going to different restaurants and keeping the cell phone on the table on 'speakerphone' mode? How different is that than eating dinner together?

Or going to the movies, and sitting next to a laptop with Netmeeting running a wireless video conference with your significant other, so you can watch a movie 'together'?

I can imagine it, and that it's a reasonable temporary substitution if the other person is in China or on the Moon or something, but I wonder if people will end up forsaking personal interaction for simply the audio/video.

Do I even need to mention that myspace "friends" are no replacement for the real thing? Or that porn is no replacement for intercourse? If you've ever seen the movie 'Sleeper' with Woody Allen, or 'Demolition Man' with Sandra Bullock, you will know what I mean.

I doubt that LAN parties will become obsolete, it gives geeks a chance to show off their new hardware, and their pimped-out computer chassis. What good are green glowing neon lights if you don't go show them off?

As the technology gets better, online gaming will probably reduce the number of LAN parties, and that's not all bad, it makes the experience of gaming together more convenient, but also takes away some of its quality - like fast food compared to gourmet food, or like an e-mail compared to a handwritten letter, or a text chat compared to a face-to-face conversation.

And how will geeks ever procreate if they don't mingle? Hey, mooks have country-western bars and geeks have LAN parties.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Inner Philosopher, Technology, Video Games

"Welcome to Worst Buy, can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'd like to buy the new video game, Battlefield 2142"

"That is a great game, its on sale for fifty dollars... Thank you, here is your change, enjoy the game! Now, if you will just stand over here with your legs apart and your hands at your sides..."

"What? What's all this?"

"Um, well you see, every purchase of Battlefield 2142 comes with a kick in the balls from Lugash. So Lugash here is going to kick you in the balls to fulfill the purchase agreement."

"But I don't want to be kicked in the balls."

"Totally understandable sir, but Lugash here has paid EA Games a LOT of money in order to get this kick in the balls included with the game."

"Look, it didn't say anything about this on the box! I just want to play the game, I don't want..."

"Of course you don't sir, but if you read the EULA you will see that by purchasing the game, you have already agreed..."

"Hey, fuck the EULA, and fuck you too! What right does this guy have to kick me in the balls just because I'm buying a video game?"

"Sorry sir, but it IS a Free Market, and EA Games is a business. A business that wants to make money. Therefore when Lugash offers them money to include a kick in the balls with their product, they have every right to make such arrangements. Now, you are always free to have your balls removed, and then Lugash can't kick them...."


Think I'm kidding? Change 'kick in the balls' to 'in-game advertising'. Or read the review of Battlefield 2142 here.

The moral of the story is that EA stands for Evil Advertising.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Funny, Ubersuck, Uncool Products, Video Games

Video Games in the Olympics? Of course the Olympics has primarily been for sports and physical events, but now that geeks rule and uncool is the new cool, I can totally see the following events being part of the New Olympics:

-Video Games
-Linux Networking Triathlon (Install Linux / Connect to Wireless Network / Connect to Print Server)
-Texting using a Cell Phone Keypad
-Info filtering Triathlon (Process 1000 RSS feeds for relevant content / Filter 1000 e-mails for spam / Identify phishing sites from 1000 pages)
-Hacking into Networked SQL database through Cisco Firewall

Spelling Bees are also gaining popularity in the media, (which tells you just how far down the toilet 'reality programming' has gone) so I guess that might be an event with some audience draw.

I still think LARP (Live Action Role Play) should be an Olympic Sport. For those who don't know what LARP is, watch this.

And this

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Million Dollar Idea, Video Games

Wow. This little ditty was pointed out to me by Avindair

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/wowworld.html

The author, David Wong, attempts to report on the upcoming Plague of Evil poised to sweep humanity away into a digital abyss straight of out a Phillip K Dick novel.

Of course, this is the kind of stuff that makes my Inner Philosopher pitch a Levi Pup Tent, if you know what I mean.

While there is a smattering of truth amidst the chaos, this list is so full of virtual paranoia/conpiracy theory/logic holes, I don’t even know where to start! I guess I will just comment on the list as given:


1. Everyone will look like a Greek god or goddess.
False. But it is true that very few people will look like their real selves. I like the concept of the Awesome You, but it really should be called the Virtual You, or Virt-You or something (Never cared for calling it an ‘avatar’), but not always Awesome, not necessarily Greek, and not necessarily God-like. I can imagine people thinking it is funny running around looking like [fill in name of current elected official here] while some will opt for the Sci-Fi look (Hi, my name is ‘7 of 9,000,000’) I myself would choose a character who constantly changes in all attributes: one moment, I am a 300 lb black woman wearing a muumuu, the next moment; I am a bald 6-year old boy with reptilian eyes; the next moment I am a formless blob of pink goo with 1500 eyes and a shotgun.

2. All will play in the same virtual world.
False. Virtual Worlds will exist side by side on the internet like websites, or the way channels do on television. The only thing they will have in common is the internet as a means of access. Perhaps there may be ways to use your Virtual Profile on multiple worlds, but I doubt it. If Sony or Microsoft are involved in any way, there will be a Proprietary Profile required which is not compatible with any other world....
The reason is supply and demand. If there is only one virtual world, whoever is running it will charge for it. This will undoubtedly prompt others to come out Worlds that are 'cheaper' or 'better' or both. Of course there will be the ‘Gold’ World, and the ‘Platinum’ World and 'Lindsay Lohan' World and so on. Oh, and don’t forget the 'Open Source' World...

3. Someone will go to jail for stealing a Bonebiter.
Doubtful. (I am assuming the author means “someone will go to jail in the Real World for stealing a virtual item off a person in the Virtual World”) The author makes a good point of comparing the theft of a virtual item to the theft of an .mp3, but the difference is that the .mp3 has value for its use in the real world, it is a product, marketed for the purpose of creating income. Meanwhile, a Bonebiter is only useful inside the game world it was created for, and it was only created for use in that world. If Bonebiters were patented and had a UPC code on them, then perhaps the court system might recognize it as a real ‘theft’.
In other-other words, just try to get your insurance company to cover your Sims house, or your Elvish Boots Of Levitation, or your Bonebiter sword. They will be more than happy to explain that Virtual Property is not property (although this could open a new line of business for Sims characters or even Virtual World Moderators...)

4. You'll meet someone who plays an MMORPG for a living.
True. More than true, you may meet teams or even businesses who play the games for a living. It could even become a syndicated sport, and something I would watch any day over any sport which ends with the word “...ball” Good Lord, if people actually watch fucking NASCAR, then clearly there is a desperation to watch people who are good at things, and if driving 500 miles in a circle qualifies, then there needs to be an Everquest Channel. I can even see Quake 5 as a Virtual Olympic sport.

5. They'll take the "G" out of "MMORPG."
True. Everquest already has a >pizza command, that allows you to order a pizza from your local Domino’s THROUGH AN IN-GAME COMMAND. I’m not kidding. So it is a small marketing step to put a ‘Ye Olde Target’ store in downtown World Of Warcraft, where you can buy junk off target.com through your EQ account. Posters for the upcoming Tool Concert will sit on the Town Square Bulletin Board. You can pick up a pair of Lindsay Lohan Barettes +2 vs Split Ends, LL Cool J Boots Of +10 Coolness, and a ‘Please +6 WarHammer Don’t Hurt Em’... Video games will be slathered with more product placement ads than a 10 second clip of NASCAR....
But taking the G out of MMORPG is not all bad. I agree with the author that the virtual world is where concerts and movies will be shown: Who wouldn’t want to wander around on-stage during the next Rush Concert, with their Controls set to View>OtherAudienceMembers>OFF and View>VenueSetting>MartianSunset... Imagine following Frodo through the entire LOTR Trilogy World, seeing everything from his first-person point of view? Sign me up.

6. You will find yourself momentarily forgetting whether you're in the real or virtual world.
True (And a no-brainer at that.) Bring on the holodeck!

7. You'll meet a couple who have been married for years and have never seen each other's real-life faces.
I’m not entirely sure what an ‘online marriage’ would even mean, and the author does not define the term. I think the author would have done better to write, “You will meet people who have worked together for years and never seen each other’s real-life faces”. They might be engineering a new product for years in a virtual lab, or on an Olympic Everquest Dragonslaying Team, but yes, there will come a day when you can actually work for a corporation for years and never see your co-workers in the real world.
This is kind of a pointless point.

8. There will be a branch of government to rule the virtual world.
False. The author dismisses his own point by realizing that any rules to follow would have to be worldwide rules. This would most likely require the dreaded One-World-Government to administrate. Until we are capable of holding a United Nations meeting with all nations meeting amicably, this item is a moot point.
Of course the RealWorld government will use Virtual Worlds to track down people committing RealWorld crimes, but that is not the same issue.
All the author’s arguments here about virtual rape and virtual sex are contrived for shock and amusement only. This point is simply paranoid schizophrenia crossed with a short-deadline creative writing exercise...

9. There will be a whole class of wealthy people without a dime to their name.
True but a non-point. What the author should have said is that “money is meaningless in the virtual world”. Like I said; non-point.
The fact that the author goes on and on about virtual money and virtual property only shows how seriously rooted in the material world he is, and how little he grasps the concept of Virtual Worlds. Virtual Worlds are (at this point) mostly ENTERTAINMENT. People don’t really go to Sims World to work in a virtual factory, any more than people play Pac-Man because they want to eat all the little white pellets lying around. Its a game. Its funny and its fun. Unlike the real world, things in Virtual Worlds are levered in our favor because if people don’t have fun there, they won’t come back.
The magical ‘interface’ the author keeps referring to (which allows Virtual World Travellers to eat, sleep and have sex in the Virtual World) is the Pixie Dust which just shows that the author got all his/her info on virtual reality from the movie “The Matrix”

10. The rise of the metaverse will go almost completely unopposed.
Absolutely False, because this relies on #2 above, which is not true. I have a prediction too: “This author’s predictions will go almost completely unvalidated.”

Surprisingly, after raising all these points against the plague of the supposedly unopposed, unstoppable debauchery of the New (Virtual) World Order, he acquiesces and admits that he welcomes it. Weird..

As much as I don't agree with David Wong's points in this article, his fiction is much better. He is a great writer, and you should seriously check out his latest book. Read it online for free, or better yet, buy a copy. David could use the cash to take a class on investigative journalism.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Open Letter, Technology, Video Games