That blog post title is deceiving, because I can't give a real review for the movie Disintegration, since I only watched the first ten minutes. But in those 10 minutes, I did observe the following:

Bad acting...

Bad direction...

Bad production...

Bad sound... (including bad ADR, bad Foley and bad music/dialog levels...IE: Bad Sound)

Bad lighting...

And absolutely NO sense of timing.

I can't tell you much about the plot, because I couldn't finish the movie. In fact, I couldn't make it past the first 10 minutes of ridiculous, complicated relationship backstory, narrated (yes, NARRATED) by someone who sounded like they were from the cast of Fargo. Really, if the backstory is that complex, then you need to show it onscreen somehow. Work it into the story. Flashback. Dream sequence. Conversation between characters. Something. But for the Lamb Of God, would you please not try to force us to sit through ten minutes of fucking Norwegian narration, rattling off names and relationships as though you were at a High-Schools 5-year Reunion?

I scrolled through the rest of the movie at high-speed, and still couldn't finish it. A bunch of talking heads. Shoulda been a graphic novel instead, and it only would have taken a half-dozen pictures cut-n-pasted over and over. It could have come with a diagram of relationships and family trees, that would have saved all the overdubbed relations/narration...

If I had to rate this movie based off what I saw of it, I'd have to give it a 1 out of 10. The only thing keeping it from a solid "0" would be that I didn't hear any Emo or Country music in the score/soundtrack.

Roger McLeod, you should Watch some movies first, before you go trying to make one yourself...

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: movie reviews, Ubersuck

Someone asked if I was going to see the remake of Halloween. My initial response was 'Hell Yeah!', because the first Halloween is a truly scary classic.

Unfortunately, I had to change my decision after I realized that you were behind the filming. I can't really bring myself to see anything you are involved with after watching "House of 1000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects" (You can read my review of The Devil's Rejects here)

Sorry Rob, but I can't even give you the benefit of the doubt now. I don't believe that you are capable of making a horror movie without making blowing the Hokey-Meter off the charts, and I won't let you wreck a timeless classic.

You should stick to the song you keep releasing over and over, it's really good, but your movies are worse than Suck-Squared.

KTHXBYE,
-CZ

Labels: anti, Movie News, movie reviews, Open Letter, Ubersuck

Dear Mr Sessions, thank you for sending me the copy of your movie "Dead Clowns" to review here on conradzero.com. You have heard correctly, I really enjoy reviewing quality low-budget horror films, and upon review of your feature film, I can say without a doubt that it was certainly, um, low-budget.

Where should I start...how about the sound? I thought it was interesting the way you added a heavy reverb to all ambient sound effects in the movie, as though they were recorded in a subway tunnel, but left the vocals dry. Can't say I've heard this done before, but it certainly made the sound, um, unique.

Another interesting aspect of the sound was your choice to make sounds that were far away from the camera louder than those that were close to the camera. For instance, the sound of rain outside the hotel room was louder than the dialog of the people talking to each other an arm's length apart, and in some cases, their dialog was nearly inaudible. A wise choice, as most of the dialog was unimportant and pretty bad. Did you actually make the actors read the script for the first time right there on camera? It explains why most of the dialog sounded so unnatural and contrived, and definitely added to the 'indie' feel of your movie.

The multiple plot threads were a nice touch. It was refreshing to see that for the most part, they never really meshed together into any form of a coherent 'whole'; a process I agree is overused in Hollywood, and you will no doubt be hailed as a visionary for abandoning it. Leaving the audience to contemplate just why those other people were in the movie at all is sheer genius. Making the audience think? Who does that anymore?

I liked your twist on the classic revenge formula. Usually people seeking revenge were wronged in some way, but in Dead Clowns, they come back from the dead and attack the town that loved them, and had nothing to do with the accident that killed them! Ha! Not to mention they waited for fifty years before coming back, so I doubt there was anyone left in the town who was around back when they bit it. That will certainly teach them for being the offspring of people who liked clowns!

BTW: Why fifty years? Why not forty-nine-and-two-fifths of a year due to rounding errors?The movie never explains why, and it's *that* kind of unresolved tension that makes independent film what it is today, that is to say, ah... independent.

Without a doubt, Brinke Stevens was the highlight of the movie. She did a fantastic job. Her character also looks remarkably young for someone who is an expert on the clown/train accident that happened fifty years ago, and the town completely forgot. Her description of the incident made it sound like she was actually there when it happened, which would make her...well, at least fifty. Using a young actress to play an older character, but still make her look young sounds like a makeup department's nightmare, but your crew handled the task swimmingly, because she doesn't look a day over thirty.

I couldn't help but notice many long, introspective shots of non-dialog/non-action/non-story, usually with the camera locked on someones face, (a trick you no doubt learned from Peter Jackson's version of 'King Kong') while many might find this annoying and unprofessional, it really shows you how overrated pacing is in the movie media. It was also nice not to have to pause the movie when going to the bathroom, or going to the kitchen to get another Tequila-Whisky-Coke, or going to the garage to replace the serpentine-belt tensioner in my 96 Saturn.

Regarding the songs in your movie, well...Switchblade Symphony was an excellent choice, but the rest of the songs sucked...oh wait a minute! I see you did the score yourself? Well, that explains it then! For future reference, I know of a band called Jagged Spiral who write some fantastic songs for horror movie soundtracks, and they don't involve the use of Every Single Cliche Known To Man. You should check them out if you are allowed...I mean, if you ever make another movie.

The effects were pretty good. The effect of clowns that had been buried underwater for fifty years and came out wearing brand-spanking-new costumes must have been difficult to manage. I'd have also thought them to be wet, after being in the water for fifty years and all, but no doubt your SFX crew must have had one hell of a time making them look clean and dry. Not to mention that for all their running around town and dismembering/skewering/eating people, none of the clowns get a drop of blood on their outfits. Kudos to the clowns for their fine table manners, and to your wardrobe department for keeping their outfits in pristine condition throughout the bloodbath.

Thanks again for the opportunity to review your film. Enclosed please find my invoice payable immediately on receipt. I generally charge by the hour, but in the case of your 95 min movie, you may notice that I've charged for six hours of labor. This may be especially confusing after I explain that I only spent about half an hour actually watching the movie. In your case, I made an exception and charged the amount of time IT SEEMED TO TAKE to watch your movie, even though I mashed the FF button so often during Dead Clowns that the batteries in the remote control died, (hence the extra charge for replacement batteries.)

You may also notice the an additional expense for a replacement DVD player. No, your DVD did not actually break my player, it simply seemed more prudent to burn my DVD player with your disk in it, and bury the ashes in my backyard, than to take the chance that the disk might fall into the hands of others. (The time spent burning/burying is NOT included in the six hours previously mentioned, but there is no charge for that ; I consider it a public service.)

And of course, as you requested, I will keep this review strictly confidential.

Sincerely,
Conrad Zero

Labels: indie movies, movie reviews, Open Letter, Ubersuck

I don't care much for the song, but I swear to Dog,

This might just be the worst music video you or I or anyone else will ever ever ever ever see:



Your homework is to watch as much as you can without puking, so we can have a baseline for comparison, since this is the Bloodrayne of Music Videos. Tough it out, because it just can't get any worse. (Well, to be honest, a Kid Rock video could be worse, but thankfully, noone ever sees those.)

Jim, I am terribly sorry for you that Debbie Harry is connected in any way, shape or form to this video.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Music Videos, Ubersuck

"Welcome to Worst Buy, can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'd like to buy the new video game, Battlefield 2142"

"That is a great game, its on sale for fifty dollars... Thank you, here is your change, enjoy the game! Now, if you will just stand over here with your legs apart and your hands at your sides..."

"What? What's all this?"

"Um, well you see, every purchase of Battlefield 2142 comes with a kick in the balls from Lugash. So Lugash here is going to kick you in the balls to fulfill the purchase agreement."

"But I don't want to be kicked in the balls."

"Totally understandable sir, but Lugash here has paid EA Games a LOT of money in order to get this kick in the balls included with the game."

"Look, it didn't say anything about this on the box! I just want to play the game, I don't want..."

"Of course you don't sir, but if you read the EULA you will see that by purchasing the game, you have already agreed..."

"Hey, fuck the EULA, and fuck you too! What right does this guy have to kick me in the balls just because I'm buying a video game?"

"Sorry sir, but it IS a Free Market, and EA Games is a business. A business that wants to make money. Therefore when Lugash offers them money to include a kick in the balls with their product, they have every right to make such arrangements. Now, you are always free to have your balls removed, and then Lugash can't kick them...."


Think I'm kidding? Change 'kick in the balls' to 'in-game advertising'. Or read the review of Battlefield 2142 here.

The moral of the story is that EA stands for Evil Advertising.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Funny, Ubersuck, Uncool Products, Video Games

Sam Raimi is a good director. I really liked his TV work (Xena, Cleopatra 2525, Hercules, Jack of all Trades, were all fair shows, (let's skip right by M.A.N.T.I.S., shall we?) But those were TV *action* shows.

Sam Raimi has no concept of Horror. NONE. The little naked kid dipped in flour and wearing mascara and dark contact lenses (typically played back with dropped frames) was pretty spooky...back when I first saw it in The Ring. But then it was done. And like any fad, that one got beat to death. I don't think there is a single video from Asia Tartan Extreme at Hollywood Video that Doesn't have a pic of the spooky kid on the cover. I've seen it so much now, that if I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the spooky kid hanging from my bedroom wall, I would tell him to piss off, roll over and go back to sleep. Sam still thinks it's scary, and bases entire movies around his No-Trick-Pony.

However, Sam has learned about the Sting. Sam knows that there is an instinctual thing that makes you jump, or gasp or scream in reaction to sudden visual or audio cues (Stings). This will always work, but it is NOT HORROR. It is a tool used in Horror Movies, but by itself it is no more Horror than a cup of flour is a pancake. (For example, The Forgotten, relied on Stings throughout the movie to keep the audience from falling asleep). No matter how many times I pretend to punch you in the face, and stop an inch from your eyes, you will blink. You can't not blink. Like I said, it is instinctual. Sam knows this, and he thinks this is Horror.

But it is not.

Because it ain't scary no more. That's right Sam. Not scary Sam. Like Crazins. Not Scary. Like Aspartame. Not Horror.

Of course Sam Raimi will probably never realize this, since he doesn't read my blog, and since he made about a bazillion dollars off the most unhorrifying horror movies ever made. The Boogyman and The Grudge. Yes, I saw them both. I even gave The Grudge the proper environment, watching it late at night with the lights off. Not Horror. Annoying perhaps, like being on hold with Comcast Tech Support, but not Horror.

Using stings as a crutch to make your unscary Flour-Boy seem scary is not Horror. It is Startling. It is Jarring. It is going to cause even normal people to launch into an epileptic seizure. Of course it is also going to make him another bazillion dollars when he does it again in Grudge 2. Check out the trailer here. Warning: May induce epileptic seizures.

We need to come up with a different genre for this dogshit. When I go to the Horror section to rent a Horror movie, I want to see something Horrific. Startling alone is not Horror, and does not count. Put it in the Jumpy section.

Hey Sam, here is an idea for Grudge 3, just run a black slate for 90 min, and randomly drop in a couple still pix with a giant audio hit. Watch the crowd jump! Best part is the pictures can be of anything at all, and the crowd will still jump!

"Oh my God, an Ostrich!"

"AAA! Crazins!"

"Holy Shit! A little boy dipped in flour! Did you see that?"

"Oh! I think I'm having a seizure!"

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Hollywood, Movie News, movie reviews, Ubersuck

This is the third year I have made it to the Annual Boiled In Lead show at First Ave. I was sober-cab for the entourage: Xtina, Jess, Colin, and Jess' VERY SWEET AND NICE AND SINGLE FRIEND Nancy, WHO BY THE WAY, IS SINGLE. There was and opening band, "Savage Aural Hotbed" a band which uses auto parts, containers, and power tools as percussion instruments; a pseudo-cross between Devo and Stomp.

The Minnesota Pipes and Drums (as in Bagpipes) band also made an appearance, as they have in previous years, although we didn't make it to the show in time to see them this year.

Last year, the show started later, (Around 8-ish) and didn't stop till 1:05 AM when the bouncers pushed us out the door. This year, the doors opened at 5, but the idea of pogoing for 9 hours straight is sick, so we figured arriving there about 9-ish would give us plenty of time, and 5 hours of dancing and headbanging should be plenty, right? Bars are open till 2AM now, right?

Wrong.

Boiled in Lead went on at just after 9, and we arrived just after they started. Coolness. And coolness it was, until just before 11 when they took a bow and left. Grr.

The band came back out to play for another fifteen minute encore. Yay.

Then they left. Grr. For good. Double Grr. The roadies started packing up the stage, and some lame-o mix music came on. It wasn't long before we were ushered upstairs to the VIP room, (It seems that everyone is a VIP when they close down the main room...)

WTF?

Didn't First Ave almost close last year because times were so f-ing hard? And now they shut the party down at 11:30? I could tell the crowd had just reached the proper level of intoxication for uninhibited dancing, and they shut it down.

ELEVEN-FUCKING-THIRTY? St Patricks Day on a Friday, and they shut it down before midnight? Sorry dudes, but where I'm from, the party doesn't get started until 10PM, and doesn't peak till after midnight, and that's on a Non-Holiday Weeknight.

From now on, I am not only checking the Start Times for bands, but the Finish Times as well. I recommend you do the same, and make sure to have a backup plan when the bouncers push you out of First Ave at 11:30 and you need to find somewhere to finish what you started...

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: A Day In The Life, holidays, Minneapolis Event, Ubersuck

At 4:21 this morning, Gabby (Gabrielle) couldn't hold on any longer, and let go of this world. Her purring and labored breathing faded away, and she died in my arms, after five hours of me holding her, and telling her what a good girl she was, and how much she was loved.

It wasn't enough.

She was my very best friend. I could tell her anything. She never judged me, labeled me, or made me feel bad about myself. I can't say that about many human beings I've met.

I can't tell you how much it fucking hurts, losing a familiar...

-C

Labels: A Day In The Life, Ubersuck

My cat is very near death. I wish I were kidding. I took the day off from work to take her to the vet today, and they ran blood tests. Preliminary guesses are cancer or a problem with her Thyroid. She has lost a lot of weight, and doesn’t have much energy. Somehow, the trip to the vet made her worse. Now she cannot stand up, much less walk, and she cries if I put her down. I really don’t expect her to make it through the night. As if this weren’t enough to worry about...

My car started leaking radiator fluid on the way back from the vet. I stopped at a local shop and they pointed out that my head gasket is leaking, and quoted me $1100 plus parts to fix the problem. I have found someone who will do the work for half that cost, which is still too much. Also, I am without a car till at least Monday. I called work and told them I will not be in tomorrow. Still working on how I am going to get to class tomorrow night.

Honestly, this rates right up there with the top ten worst days ever. I bought a ticket for the Powerball today. If I win, this day will almost break even.

Almost.


Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: A Day In The Life, Ubersuck

I tried to watch Rob Zombie's newest movie on DVD 'The Devils Rejects' I couldn't make it all the way through and I can only say that about three movies I have seen in my lifetime.

But this was by far the worst.

Hell, I even sat through 'From Dusk Till Dawn', 'Event Horizon', 'AVP' and most of 'Kill Bill Vol 1'. I even sat through all of 'Freddy Got Fingered' which held the former title of "worst movie ever made", but I couldn't stand more than half an hour of this shit.

Don't misunderstand, I enjoy ridiculously, ultra-violent films, but something was missing from The Devils Rejects, which made it the worst of the worst. After about 20 minutes of intense detailed instruction that women are only for being tortured, then screwed, then killed for no reason, (or sometimes tortured, then killed, then screwed for no reason) I simply had to shut it off. I went to IMDB.com to check user opinions and guess what? I'm the only one on the fucking planet who does not like it, and everyone else thinks Rob Zombie is a Gorram genius.

Remember those *trick* questions on the final exam, like, 'What color was George Washington's white horse?' or 'What year was The Battle of 1812?' The Devil's Rejects is a trick movie.

The movie was a test, people. A test for you to recognize crap and call it. If you failed to walk out of the theatre, you failed the test. If you failed to eject the disk before the movie was over and say, 'Hey, this is dogshit!' then I'm sorry but you failed. If you saw the movie and think it was even *ratable* on a scale of one to ten, then you failed, but don't feel too bad. A very very high percentage of people failed as well, so at least you have some company. I guess that fact was more disappointing to me than the movie its self.

Later the same day, I watched Eternal, an independent Canadian movie about the Countess Elizabeth Bathory in modern times, and her lust for young female blood. The woman is downright Evil, and has near-intercourse with her victims before taking their lives. Lots of Lots of LOTS of female/female eroticism, and shot on nice locations in Quebec and Venice. The plot is nearly awful, and the acting almost as bad as the production.

So I had to ask myself why Eternal was a stinker, but The Devils Rejects was a non-movie.

What was missing was motive. What was missing from the horrible but not horrifying hillbilly hicks in The Devils Rejects was any intelligent design (sorry, I had to do that) any real sense of motivation. Without it, the characters actions have no basis, and we, the audience, cannot judge them, or relate to them, or care about them one way or another. Perhaps an example would help:

Conrad - Hey Reid, why the hell does your dog keep trying to hump my leg?
Reid- I dunno. That's just what he does.
Conrad - Well its completely ungrounded, and without any discernible motivation. Not to mention it's stupid. So tell him to knock it off before I kick him in the balls.

(Alright, it is a poor example, although I suspect watching Reid's dog hump someone's leg would be more interesting to watch than The Devils Rejects.)

Meanwhile, in Eternal, the countess has a motivation (there are some who would call this motivation part of the PLOT) and once we understand why the countess does what she does, we can relate, and judge her and her motivations because of it. In other words, it gives us a reason to react to the film. Can there even be a plot without motivation? Bittorrent the Devils Rejects and find out.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Hollywood, movie reviews, Ubersuck

From the twisted bastard Darren Aronofsky, who brought you the movie PI, comes this absolutely depressing and horrific mess. I thought the movie PI was visually interesting, entertaining, and kept me wondering what was going on. I went into Requiem with these same expectations. However, the movie continually raised two questions:

How much worse can it get?

How much longer can it go on?

Unlike many other movie 'critics' I am not saying this to be funny. I am saying this because it is true. I wasn't sure what the movie was trying to tell people, so I made a list of the possible messages the movie could hold:

-following your dreams to excess is bad
-following your dreams is bad
-dreams are bad
-the american pharmacutical industry is no different than the street gang drug industry
-drugs are bad
-drugs are bad because they can wreck your dreams
-drugs are bad because they can make you create a movie like 'Requiem for a Dream'

The movie might actually not have had any message at all, which would truly suck, because it has little redeeming qualities otherwise. The effects, editing and time lapses are good (much like PI or Spun, or Memento) and the movie gives a good sense of 'trippiness' without being ridiculous. Other than this, there is little good I can say about the movie, other than I suppose it might have some value if it were used to teach High School Age children that "Drugs are Not Cool", or if you thought your life sucked, you could watch this movie and not feel so bad about your own miserable life.

The next bit of information is part spoiler, and part warning. There is no 'resolution' to this movie. The situations in the movie get better for just a moment, then get worse and worse and worse and they don't stop getting worse until the movie finally (thankfully) ends. By the end I was wishing for the characters to die because they would probably be better off. It is a test of your willpower to see how far down the spiral of depression you are willing to ride.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: movie reviews, Ubersuck

OK...Any fucking day now...Any microsecond now... Oh, wait. I forgot, we don't use "micro" round here unless it's followed by "soft", because unlike every other civilized country in the world,

WE HAVENT SWITCHED TO THE FUCKING METRIC SYSTEM YET!!!

Miles Per Hour?
Gallons?
Inches?
Pounds? (And the impossible abbreviation: lb ??? WTF???)

Come on Engineers, make the fucking switch already.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: americans, rant, Technology, Ubersuck

Back some 6 years ago or so, the University of Minnesota wanted to cash in on the untapped 'Adult Learner' market. Remember 'University College'? "Hey adults, come get a degree in your spare time! Take night/weekend/internet classes to fit your busy schedule!" Remember this?

Now, some six years later, all I hear is how it is 'taking too long for students to graduate' and the ridiculous enforcement of minimal credit payment, which completely screws over people with jobs and families who want to further their education: "Sure, you can take one class if you want, but you have to pay for a full credit load!" As if the tuition hikes over the past two years weren't bad enough!

This is surprising for a University where the word "diversity" is implanted into every speech and publication, until it is overused into meaninglessness. It doesn't seem very diverse to me, to impede the ability of adults with jobs and families to take classes and get a degree in their free time.

I would expect more intelligent decisions from a group of people running a learning institution.

My suggestion is to either discontinue your use of the word "diversity", or bring back the University College, without the mandatory minimum credit bullshit, and time limits for graduation. Return some fairness to the system for people who did not just step out of high school.

Sincerely,
-CZ

Labels: Open Letter, rant, Ubersuck

I'm not a smoker, but it is the right....(er, scratch that) ...it wasthe right of business owners to choose if they wanted to run a business that allowed smoking or not. And it was the right of patrons to decide whether to patronize those businesses or not. And it was the right of workers to decide whether to work there or not.

But not anymore.

Personally, I would rather be in a room full of people smoking, than people breathing flu germs into the air. So it is only the logical next step is to reduce our freedom even further by banning people who have a cold or flu from entering businesses. And if you are still too stupid to extend the chain of events, I'll do it for you: Next, people who are butt-ugly won't be allowed into bars because they make people sick to their stomach.

And so on.

My tax dollars did not go towards this ridiculous restriction of freedoms. There was always the freedom for businesses to proclaim themselves 'smoke-free', in the same way that businesses have the freedom to proclaim themselves 'television-free'. I would rather sit in a smoky bar with the air pollution than in a sports bar with audio and video pollution.

Smoke on,
-C

Labels: political, Ubersuck

I see someone out there in cyberspace agrees with me.  Thanks to Suicide Girls for the post..

-C

 

 

Unable to slap some new CGI onto the 1978 "The Star Wars Holiday Special" to make it fit his "original vision," Lucas is calling for the special to be completely banned.

Moviemaker George Lucas wants his first Star Wars sequel banned, as he is so disappointed with its quality. The one-off, two-hour-long The Star Wars Holiday Special was originally screened on the CBS network in 1978 and tells the story of Chewbacca's journey home with Hans Solo to celebrate Life Day with his family. During the course of the much-maligned movie, Carrie Fisher's beautiful Leia is seen reducing Hans Solo and Luke Skywalker to tears with a song. A contributor on the Star Wars website comments, "The Holiday Special has always been the red-headed step child of the Star Wars family." While a source at LucasFilm adds, "The Holiday Special was the biggest f***-up ever. The Force was definitely not with Mr. Lucas the day that doozy was born."

One wishes he'd come to the same conclusion about the first two "prequels" which have done far more damage to the name “Star Wars” than the TV special.

Once again we see Lucas exercising creative control that Stanley Kubrick would have called megalomaniacal—he's not only changing parts of his films and denying fans the original work, but he's also attempting to entirely blot-out parts of his resume.

(Written by: jake_lex)

Related...

[SuicideGirls: News Wire]

Labels: Movie News, Ubersuck

Blog on,
-C

Labels: Ubersuck

I just downloaded ITunes for Windows, to see how it works. The Player is OK, but Ugly as sin, like it fell out of the Ugly Process() and hit every node on the way down. I-Tunes should take a style tip from Windows Media Player or Winamp. I was more excited about the online storage portion to replace the one I lost when the old mp3.com went under (I had over 200 CDs set up online to stream...)

I WAS excited that is, until the registration asked me for my credit card number. Ick. Isn't it possible to try this service out, and decide if I actually want to use it before forking over my credit card number?

Also, all the music offered through the i-Tunes site is infected with DRM, which is reason enough to stick with...well, Anything else.

Meanwhile, ITunes player only supports IPOD hardware (Which is pronounced backwards as "dopey")

Guess it's back to Media Player / Winamp...

Tune out,
-C

Labels: DRM Sucks, music, Ubersuck

Patrick@93X,

The song by Cold you played earlier today (has lyrics "...I didn't mean to be so cold...") was just awful. Anybody can mix together bass+drums+powerchorddistortionguitars, but when the lyrics are pussy+whiny+"I feel"+"I want"+"I need" it really puts a damper on the song. It turns an otherwise decent band into a rocked-up version of Dashboard Confessional; possibly the worst lyric writing of all time.
I believe the style of music (in it's unplugged, coffee-shop form) is called Emo for emotional, you probably know more about it than I do. There are bands that pull off Emo/Rock well (Outside by Staind, for example) and those who don't, and they are easy to pick out by counting the number of times they say "I" in the first ten seconds. Now that I have pointed it out to you, it will drive you nuts...

Sorry,
Conrad Zero

Labels: Emo Sucks, music, music reviews, Ubersuck

Why C Is Not My Favourite Programming Language
Plenty of reasons to hate the C programming language.

-C

Labels: Programming, Ubersuck

I am not the only one who knows that Real Networks is one of the sleaziest companies around. This rant/blog/post lists the best reasons to force the entire management staff of Real Inc to go door-to-door apologizing to computer owners worldwide for the rest of their pathetic lives. Here is another this should be required reading for anyone thinking of installing a product from Real...

-CZ

Labels: Ubersuck, Uncool Products