So Osama Bin Laden, Kurt Cobain, Elvis and myself were hanging out in a Hash Bar in Amsterdam. No, it's not a joke, it's a dream I had. I think it was a dream. Anyway, we were sitting at a table together, not necessarily talking about anything in particular, but talking nonetheless. The weather, economy, fashion trends, and the coffee, which was surprisingly bad considering what it cost.

I couldn't find my spoon, the one I had been stirring my coffee with, and at first I thought that Kurt had taken it. He was kind of a dick, which is not what I expected at all, and *he* had a spoon. So I'm trying to pay attention to what Osama is saying, since he seems very intelligent (which is also not what I expected, and should have been a tip-off that this was a dream after all) and he seemed to be very knowledgeable about current fashions, despite the fact that he wore a bedsheet.

Right, the spoon. So anyway, the coffee was so bad that I gave up on the thought that stirring it might actually help. Then I thought that the coffee might have been so very bad that it actually dissolved the spoon, which might explain the taste. Then I thought that dissolved spoon in the coffee might have *improved* the taste, and I should be thankful that it did not taste worse. My Inner Philosopher perked up and noted that if I should view all potentially bad events this way, my outlook on life would improve dramatically. I told my Inner Philosopher that he was right - the glass was not half full, it was completely full - of expensive coffee that tasted like dogshit mixed with dissolved silver and Windex. That shut him right up.

It eventually dawned on me that the three people I was seated with had something in common: No one knew for sure whether they were really dead or not. (except me of course, because I was talking with them) I started to worry that I might end up with the same condition, through osmosis or some weird media-virus. I thought of my parents, not knowing if they should put my Marillion CD collection up on E-Bay or not, because I would be *Pissed* if they did that and I wasn't really dead yet. I thought of my friends suddenly rushing off to verify reports that I was sighted hitch-hiking through Oregon, or making out with Paris Hilton backstage at a Black Eyed Peas concert. The whole thing made me sad.

I suddenly wished I had a coffee, and then realized that I did have a coffee, so I edited my wish and wished for a good coffee, and a spoon. I asked Elvis if I could use his spoon, partially because he hadn't used it, and partially because I love hearing him talk.

"Yeah, sure," he said, "Go right ahead man."

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Dreams, Inner Philosopher

I had the Strangest dream, that something ODD happened to Hawaii. Or maybe just IN Hawaii. Something Big, and possibly Bad. Like maybe it sinks into the ocean instead of California. Or maybe Atlantis rises up next to it and attacks. Or maybe Don Ho dies. I don't know.

It did not help to see several people dressed in Hawaiian Shirts today. I would rather look like an idiot for saying something, and then nothing happens, than to say nothing, and then something happens, and then I say, "Oh! I just Knew something ODD was going to happen!"

...then you say, "Riiiiight Z, Sure you did..."

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Dreams