With a title like: "A Case for Ghosts - An Objective Look at the Paranormal" I was expecting to read theories about how ghosts could be real and how they 'work'. I was expecting case studies, scientific analysis and interviews that generate data to support those theories. (Otherwise, the title would be "A Case *against* Ghosts") Unfortunately, that isn't what I got.

To be fair, you should understand that writers who release through a publisher don't always get much/any say in the cover graphics, jacket copy and title of their book. The publisher supposedly has a better handle on what kind of name/color/words to wrap the book in to give it a larger appeal, so it wouldn't surprise me if Mr Danalek shares in my disappointment. Whether the fault of Mr. Danelek or his publisher, "A Case for Ghosts" was Severely Mis-Titled, directly resulting in several unfavorable reviews online.

That said, the book is not necessarily bad. If you tear the cover off the book and cross out the title (physically or mentally) you could give the book a charitable review, and I'll try to do so here:

The Bad:
Almost every chapter starts with an interruption. "In this chapter, we will talk about X. But, before we can learn about X, first we should Y..." Eventually the chapter gets around to subject X, but the digressions were annoying, and calling attention to them only made them worse. Instead, Y should have been included as a sidebar, footnote, or simply worked into the text where necessary. The start of the chapter should hook the reader, not detour them into definition-hell or but-first-some-history-purgatory.

Mr Danalek mentions plenty of cases that warrant our "serious consideration", but fails to give any specifics. In fact, there aren't any facts about the cases he mentions AT ALL, and this is frustrating for those looking for objectivity (Remember, we crossed off the title...) The bibliography is severely anemic. Nothing here indicates Mr Danalek experienced these cases himself. The lack of facts in this text makes it difficult to lock in any of the argument. It can't have been difficult to get some real-world data or cases to ground his arguments upon. Without something to base his case on, his arguments have no more weight than the ghosts he is studying.

In one chapter, Mr Danalek denounces the idea of demons, proclaiming them to simply be angry ghosts; spirits of the formerly living who were mean people when they were alive, and the only difference is that they're dead now. In a later chapter, he quickly accepts the concept of Guardian Angels (or Spirt Guides) as though the truth were obvious. Overlooking the fact that these are merely opinions, these two beliefs are completely incompatible. You simply don't get one without the other, that would be like only believing in "Good" people and not "Evil" people, or in the "Beneficial" uses for Gravity or Electricity, without believing in the "Dangerous". I can tolerate Mr Danalek's lack of objectivity, but I won't tolerate inconsistency.

The book does go off-topic a bit. There's a whole lot of personal information in this book, and I'm always wary of books that have too much "I...Me...My" in them. There are also diversions (some of them pages in length) into Mr Danalek's analysis of Religion which needs either its own section, or should be marked as 'outside the scope of this book'. This issue should have been caught by an editor.

The Good:
Mr Danalek has done some research, and he is knowledgeable on the subject of the ghostly aspects of the paranormal. He provides all sides of the issues of hauntings, different types of ghosts, spirit communications, possession and other tasty topics, then he provides his opinion on what he believes throughout the writing and in the conclusion of each chapter. I'm pleased to see that he entertains views that he does not agree with.

For a philosophical overview of such an esoteric subject, the writing is easily accessible. Not much by way of jargon, and what little is used is clearly explained. The book is a good overview of the subject, covering a wide range of paranormal topics but staying in the Ghostly realm, and thankfully leaving out Bigfoot, Aliens and the Loch Ness Monster.

The Upshot:
"A Case for Ghosts" gives a good, broad overview of the Spiritual subsection of the Paranormal. Those interested in the field of Ghost Hunting should pair it up with "How to be a Ghost Hunter" by Richard Southall.

Ignore the title. Don't expect any objectivity in "A Case for Ghosts - An Objective Look at the Paranormal". Expect to see a rundown of all sides of a broad range of issues, followed by Mr Danalek's opinion on the matter. Those already familiar with the subject and seeking answers, proof or research - [jedi]this is not the book you're looking for[/jedi]

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: Book Review

After reading one too many technical books, I had to shift back into a bit of fictional fun, and Megan Chance's latest work 'The Spiritualist' caught my attention. According to her website, 'The Spiritualist' is...

...a tale of murder and intrigue, class and the occult, as one woman’s desperate search for a killer reveals that truth may be the greatest illusion of all...

More specifically, 'The Spiritualist' is a murder-mystery set in the 1800's, involving the heroine, Evie, who married into high-society. When Evie's husband disappears after a visit to a 'spirit circle', Evie is sucked into an intricate web of deceit between the elite social circles, her own family and an occult group led by a charismatic medium. It's a story of high-society, table-rapping spirits, charlatans, and romance.

Alright, so it isn't something I'd typically read. There weren't any ninjas or explosions in it. All the more reason you should be shocked and amazed at my assessment: Megan Chance is a *fantastic* writer, and 'The Spiritualist' is a great book.

The Good
Megan Chance writes believable characters. Even for the elite class and different time period the characters come from; I really believed in them. Their actions, reactions and motivations were understandable, if not forgivable. I never felt like I was watching 'The English Patient' where suspension of disbelief was pushed beyond superhuman limits.

The storyline was tight and linear, with few wasted pages. The plot pulls you in, and doesn't disappoint, keeping and a sure-and-steady pace. And just the right amount of intrigue, to keep you reading past your bedtime.

Anoter great thing about the book was the cover, and the lack of half-naked people embracing thereon. Let's be honest, that doesn't even belong on the covers of trashy romance novels. DISCLAIMER: The story has romance in it, and Megan Chance did win the "Romance Writers of America’s RITA award for excellence in Romantic Fiction". But don't hold that against her, or this story. The romance was tastefully done.

But the best part of the book is the writing. The sentences simply flowed, and made me realize how much my own writing sounds like a hastily translated 'Dick and Jane' book. Megan paints smooth, silky pictures of the 1800s in your head with her words.

The Bad
There weren't any ninjas or explosions. Yeah, that's about it. Note to self, Megan: 'Next book - needs more ninjas'.

The Upshot
'The Spiritualist' is a treat for anyone wanting an escape to a well-constructed, well-written, 1800s romantic-occult-murder-mystery.

Megan Chance's website.

'The Spiritualist' on Amazon.com

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: Book Review

The title, "Demons" obviously caught my eye, and I simply had to read it. Not so much 'research' for the Demonslayer's Handbook, since that manuscript is finished, but more like; "I better read this since it came out before mine, and I need to make sure there's nothing too similar to my own book, so's I don't get sued for copyright infringement..."

"Demons" by John Shirley is actually two half-stories under the same cover. There is a 9-year jump between the stories, but it's not a problem. They both sport the same feel, mythos, and primary characters.

The Setup - Slightly futuristic in nature. In the first story, several species of demons descend upon the earth and attack humans, killing them off in very unpleasant ways. In the second half, corporate research into 'psychonomics' coupled with the research of a new pesticide are about to open the door for the Demons to re-enter the world.

The Good - Really good writing; good turns of phrase and wonderful analogies. The first book is gritty, and well-paced. Mr Shirley uses an interesting hybrid of first-person/direct-objective that I really enjoyed, taking me into the subject's head when appropriate, but stepping out for the remainder. The Demons are truly monstrous; their actions truly horrific, and each clan of demon is distinct from the others.

The Bad - Word choices are sometimes ostentatious [Editor's Note: Heh, and *that* observation isn't?] keep a thesaurus nearby. Ideals are completely Californian. The first story merely hints at the 'industry==evil' theme, but the second book will make you fucking choke on it. In fact, the second book isn't so much about Demons as it is about how chemical research and third world countries are Evil, and self-awareness is Good. The demons play such a small part in the second book that all references to them could be removed without significantly changing the story.

The Short Version - A pair of sly, well-written stories about how industries, corporations, and third world countries are evil. And Demons.

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: Book Review

Without a doubt, the music industry is a-changing. For the first time ever, musicians are able to manage their own marketing, promotion and distribution to the entire broadband-connected planet. CDs haven't even completely died yet and the IPOD is already obsolete. It's anyone's guess where this is all going, and Gerd Leonhard is brave enough to make his guess public.

Gerd Leonhard just released a collection of his own blog postings and papers in a FREE e-book called Music2.0. In it, Mr Leonhard made predictions about how the music industry was going to mutate once mixed with the new technologies. You can get the book here.

I'm about a quarter of the way through Music 2.0, and it's a really interesting read. I'd say it is essential reading for people in the music business; especially for independent artists. Really Especially for Older Independent Artists who grew up with music being something you bought at Target on a cassette tape and listened to in a Sony Walkman. The paradigm shift is equal parts traumatic and exciting.

It's interesting to see what Mr Leonhard predicted correctly. One thing he points out is something I've ranted about for years; the changeover of music from a product to a service. The music subscription service I've bitched about for years is finally available thanks to the Verizon/Rhapsody merger, but he predicted this years before I did.

I'm excited to read his current predictions and imagine what things will be like if he is correct when Music 3.0 comes out...

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: Book Review, Music Industry, Predictions

This book has been on my list for a while now, as research for my own writing. I was talking with Roger at Magus Books, and asked him if he knew of any books similar to my "Demonslayer's Handbook" - an urban fantasy set in modern-day Minneapolis. He suggested Emma Bull's "War for the Oaks". (Careful, the Wikipedia entry is laden with spoilers.

Emma Bull writes in the introduction of "War for the Oaks" that she doesn't read author's introductions until after she's finished the book. After reading her own introduction, I would agree. I wish I hadn't read her introduction before reading the story. Sadly, I cannot tell you why without spoiling the book for you. You can choose whether or not to learn from my mistake, and I'll try to judge the book without any bias from the intro.

"War for the Oaks" is deeply steeped in Minneapolis, and in music. Emma Bull's taste in music is great, she constantly drops band names and song references throughout the story. Same with locations; you won't forget the story takes place here in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul. The story bounces around to some of the best locations in town.

"War for the Oaks" is heavily steeped in the 80's. Fashions that are laughable today are considered quite stylish for the time period when the story took place. Jean jackets with turned-up collars, and high-tops? Yikes. Been there, worn that, stole back the pix and burned them. It made me realize that unless you want your story tied down to a specific time period, you should be less specific with your fashion descriptions. But, "War for the Oaks" nails the fashions of the 80s perfectly.

The story revolves around the main character, Eddi McCandry, but thankfully is not told in first person. Eddi is chosen as a magical saviour in an upcoming war and assigned a Faerie bodyguard. In the first half of the book, the "War" is only a minor backdrop; shadowed by the relationships and band drama surrounding Eddi. She resigns herself to her fate as the chosen one, and goes about constructing a new band amidst shifting relationships, and coming to terms with the bodyguard who won't leave her side. The second half of the story gets more involved with the actual war, some of which spills into the real world, and climaxes with a classic showdown/duel of Good Vs Evil at First Avenue!

Emma Bull does a great job of making the other-world characters feel other-worldly. Their method of speech is proper Victorian, and their manners and customs are notably different than that of humans.

As far as *research* goes, I'm glad I read "War for the Oaks". It was enlightening to see how another author approaches shifting between different realities, and descriptions of Minneapolis areas. Her writings on band politics and technology are accurate, which makes sense, since Emma Bull was in a local band or two.

As far as *entertainment* goes, "War for the Oaks" is a good story for those who want a Disney faerie tale crossed with 1980's Minneapolis urban fantasy.

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: Book Review

Books like Eckhart Tolle's always get my Inner Philosopher worked up, and I have to buy them. He could have named the book "Ways to Be Happy While Getting Screwed Up The Ass By Your Boss, Family, CoWorkers, Strangers and God" and I'd buy it. Because there's a tiny tiny subset of those Self-Help books that truly are life-changing, and they are well worth the volumes of Trite-Shite and Atlantis-Nonsense that you have to sift through to find them.

Eckhart Tolle's previous work includes a book entitled "The Power of Now"; a fantastic exploration on the human perception of time. The book focuses on how to stop dragging the past along with you, and stop thinking that Someday you will be happy. Instead, the book describes how to 'Live In The Now', and I highly recommend it.

His latest release, "A New Earth: Awakening to your Life's Purpose" is a profoundly life-changing book... for the right people. But I don't think I can really recommend it for four reasons.

First, I think the idea is a bit much for many people. The core idea is to step back and take an objective look at yourself. This will make you realize that the Real You is not bundle of needs and desires that always go unsatisfied. Letting go of 'wanting' and physical things is an old practice, and at the very core of Buddhist thought; Tolle tries to sugar-coat it for Americans to make it easier to swallow, but by and large, the people I refer to as Americans (a derogatory term when I use it) are simply not going to be receptive to this idea.

Worse, I suspect many people who hear about the book will run out to buy it because they Really-Really-Want to let go of their Wanting. Its these people who need the book most, but its not going to help them, because they simply won't comprehend it. Meanwhile, those who buy the book to make themselves better are already conscientious and self-aware (because they are buying a book like this), and don't really need the book. Choir. Preaching.

Second, I've basically just told you the entire book, so save your money and your time. To Tolle's credit, he gives lots of advice, examples, and points of view on the matter, and ties it well to Christianity and other world religions (he claims to cater to no particular world religion.)

Thirdly, if Eckhard Tolle really practiced what he preached, he would license the book through Creative Commons and make it available online for free.

Fourth, and most difficult for me to explain, is that the book is dangerous. The advice Tolle offers people to create a third-person viewpoint of themselves can, if used as intended, separate the Real You from your desiring, unhappy, habitual False Self. But it can also be used to create a refuge, or buffer; a place where you can watch your False Self rob a liquor store and kill people for drug money. It could allow a person to remain calm, cool, and collected in the face of performing terrible things. Then they could go to sleep without the slightest guilt, saying, That wasn't The Real Me! Learned Multiple Personality Syndrome, anyone?

Do yourself a favor and read "The Power of Now". Then read this outline of Buddhist philosophy, and put the two together for yourself. If you see how the two fit together, you don't need to bother with "A New Earth".

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: Book Review, Inner Philosopher

It's almost impossible to have an interest in the Minneapolis music scene without hearing rumors of the sordid history of the Replacements; mostly filtered through elder hipsters who like to rant about how awesome it was to be here in the 80s. [Editor's Note: The 80's weren't really that great, it was just that the 70's sucked SO BAD that the 80's just seemed better than they were.]

I managed to miss out on the lot of it by leaving Minnesota for a few years. By the time I got back in the early 90's, the Replacements had broken up. "I'll Be You" was still on the radio, but Matthew Sweet and Bob Mould were getting all the airplay. I dived headfirst into the local music scene, working at a recording studio in Minneapolis, and habitually reading the Reader and the City Pages, always on the lookout for new and interesting bands. The Nixon Pupils, Johnny Clueless and Mile One were the bands to see live then, and Grunge was king. I was playing solo-acoustic-folk-rock (like my hero at the time, Stuart Davis) in coffee shops you ain't even heard of, (and couldn't find even if you had) and my circle of friends coulda cared a whole lot less for "The Greatest Band That Never Was". I listened to "The Replacements A to Z" on KQ92, and was unimpressed. Eventually, I ended up with "All for Nothing and Nothing for All" the Replacement's Greatest Hits (kind of), and what I was told was their definitive album, "Tim". Again, color me unimpressed.

It wasn't till recent years that I would hear the whispered bits and pieces. Rumors of a band from Long Ago, who shone so bright they burned a hole in the heart of Minneapolis. Every rumor put a look on my face as if I had just taken a bite of my Mom's Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies and discovered that she had substituted Vanilla Extract with Windex.

"They stole back their own master tapes from the record company, and tossed them in the Mississippi River?"

"They played 'Hello Dolly' until everyone left?"

"They did entire gigs without finishing a single song?"

Honestly, I heard more about the Replacements antics than I ever did their music.

So, I was pleased to hear that a book about the Replacements was being released. "The Replacements - All over but the Shouting" was released by Jim Walsh on 15 Nov 2007. I got a signed copy, and read the entire book over three consecutive evenings.

"The Replacements - All Over But The Shouting" is an Oral History (which is an oxymoron for a book, but there you are.) The book is written in quotes from a large number of people, including the band. It's interesting to read the different perspectives on key moments of the band history.

But remember, this is the current-day perception of the band, a conglomeration of The Replacements as These People Remember Them. There are some assumptions made that you know certain things, and there are undoubtedly people who either cannot or did not participate in the book. So keep that in mind. Those looking for the real documented history of the Replacements might want to look elsewhere, but I don't think that was Jim Walsh's intention in writing the book. I think Jim Walsh wanted to capture the spirit of the band, and he managed to do that pretty effectively, because that's what survives in people's memories; the brightest and darkest moments.

However, the quotes of the 'oral history' did make the book a bit disjointed to read. It wasn't till I was halfway through the book that I stumbled upon a glossary of names in the back, which makes the book easier to trudge through. Better still would have been to give a description of each contributor the first time they were quoted, because many of the quotes required that information to process.

It amazes me how hard the Replacements tried to sabotage their own success, and how everything they did simply made them more and more famous. It makes me think some bands are destined to be famous, and have no choice. The Replacements seemed to be dragged kicking and screaming into popularity, confounded by the personality of Paul Westerberg, which glares through the cracks of the writing.

After reading it, I can say that the Replacements deserve a book like this. Jim Walsh has done a great job, and I'm glad I read it. It should be required reading for anyone who is in a bar band in Minneapolis, because whether you know it or not, you are living under the shadow of a glorious tragedy.

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: Authors, Book Review

In a previous blog post, I raved about Neil Gaiman after reading 'Good Omens' (which he co-wrote with Terry Pratchett), subscribing to his blog, and starting on his latest work - Fragile Things.

I knew Fragile Things was a collection of short stories, and I thought it would be a good way to cover more ground with Neil Gaiman and get a more definitive sense of his writing style. I was right, but I was wrong to approach his writing that-a-way. In the end, Fragile Things was a slight disappointment.

Don't get me wrong, Neil Gaiman is a very good writer. He has a good tongue, (or voice, or pen, or penchant, or keyboard, whatever...) for telling stories. Fragile Things runs through past, present and future periods of fantasy and poetry, adult fairy-tales and Gothic nearly-horror. He writes with clever turns of phrase, alternate realities, twisted mythologies, and interesting points-of-view.

But, the Things inside Fragile Things are just too Fragile; unfinished snippets or unused plot branches from other works; roughed-out ideas collected and published once the name "Neil Gaiman" on the cover of the book would sell more copies than anything inside it. (Hint: Check the last few pages to see where all the stories came from and when.) few of the stories let me in deeply enough to really enjoy them.

So I got what I wanted, but it turns out it wasn't what I wanted after all. Like I said, the ideas were clever, but not very flushed out. Fragile Things is like walking past the bakery and having a look and a sniff of the whole lot, instead of a solid taste of anything in particular.

So, I can't really recommend Fragile Things to anyone but the most hardcore Neil Gaiman fans who have read Everything Else and still want more. I've added 'Neverwhere' and 'Death: The High Cost Of Living' to my Christmas list, in the hopes of getting something a little less fragile...

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: Authors, Book Review

I love Neil Gaiman.

I mean in a *manly* sort of way...you know, like the movie "300", like, "Dude! You're an author, and I'm almost an author..I mean, we both write right? Let's go Man Up and run half-nekked across the moors with swords and cut down enemy forces outnumbering us one-hundred-and-fifty to one! See those three-hundred Spartans over there with their tiny little abs, HA! Dare they pit their ten or twelve tiny chicklet abs against my giant one? Why settle for a 6-pack when you can have a pony keg!"

Then Neil and I could open a can of Whoop-Ass, clean up, do lunch, and talk about writing. We would be sure to sit on opposite sides of the table though. Manly, like I said.

Anyway, I'm reading Neil Gaiman's 'Fragile Things' right now. It's quite good. I'm on page 3. I'll let you know when I have enough info to augment my opinion.

But I did read Good Omens long ago. Great book. Very funny. If you enjoy a 'dry as a funeral drum' sense of humor not too dissimilar from Douglas Adams, then you will like it. I have somehow managed to avoid reading the Sandman series; I keep meaning to stop over at Dreamhaven Books and pick up a copy of Ultimate Sandman when Neil is visiting there and tell him how much I love the first three pages of his new book, but our schedules don't seem to mesh.

How can you Not like Neil Gaiman? He's a famous author who doesn't act famous. He answers his fan mail. And he has a cool accent.

He links to cool things like this.

And this.

Meanwhile, I just rip him off, and post the cool links here.

(On the other hand, I do make sure to give him credits.)

On the other-other hand (?) I notice that Neil has enough fan mail to run his entire blog just off simply responding to them. I do get some questions from fans, but they don't seem very blog-worthy. Here is an example:

Dear Zero,

I just read the synopsis of your upcoming book, "The Demonslayer's Handbook". What the hell is wrong with you?

Signed,
Disturbed


See what I mean? Anyone who reads my blog should know that I don't like Disturbed. Their cover of Genesis's' "Land of Confusion" was pretty good though.

But Neil Gaiman gets the Ubercool Seal of Approval in my book.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Authors, Book Review, Praise, Ubercool

Oddly enough, I did not buy "Dead Man Rising" for its front cover of a dark, attractive heroine; sword in one hand and a pistol in the other. I bought it for the back cover, which was facing out because someone at Shinder's didn't bother to put it back in the rack correctly.

The words "When the dead call, she answers" immediately piqued my interest. The rest of the jacket copy went on to tell of a half-demon-female bounty hunter in a futuristic/paranormal setting. At that point, my money was already spent. Then I flipped through the book, and found a glossary in the back (fantastic!) and even a transcript of a lecture on the Nine Canons of Magic, and a term paper on Demons. Seeing this level of detail in other books always makes me feel the story has more weight and depth to it. I did the same when I wrote "The Demonslayers Handbook", adding a glossary of terms and a description of how demons work. I'm thrilled to see other authors take this level of time and effort to enrich their works.

After reading "Dead Man Rising", I can say that Lilith Saintcrow is a Very Good Writer. Her work flows well and her story has excellent pacing. The world of Dante Valentine combines high-tech futuristica with a magical environment. For you gamers out there, just think Shadowrun. For the rest of you, imagine the world after an 'Enlightenment' of magic, where witches and shamans go to school to learn how to hone their abilities of spellcasting, and necromaces can commune with the recently dead. Demons, werewolves (called werecain), sexwitches and magicians living more or less together in a world loaded with high-technology. High-tech weapons, automated flying cars [Editor's Note: Don't even get me started about flying cars...] and hyper-synthetic materials. (Molecule-Drip Nail Polish? Plasteel? Reactive Paint?) All in all, a rich, well-conceived world, and Miss Saintcrow holds you in that world, never letting you forget where you are.

Miss Saintcrow writes from First Person Perspective only, which I despise, but since so many authors are doing it now, I won't dismiss a book right off for using it. Dead Man Rising is told from the perspective of the heroine, Dante (Danny) Valentine. Miss Saintcrow is truly able to put the reader into the head of the heroine, and remain in that perspective throughout the story. (Unlike Laurell K Hamilton's "Guilty Pleasures", which jumped noticably OUT of First Person on more than one distracting occasion.) Unfortunately, it is exactly this ability of Miss Saintcrow to put the reader into the head of her main character which ruined "Dead Man Rising" for me.

This is because I found the character Dante Valentine completely unlikable, and that's putting a heavy sugar-coat on it. Getting inside her head properly, as Miss Saintcrow arranges, only makes it worse. Telling the entire story from Dante Valentine's point of view only multiplies the problem ten-thousandfold.

Here's why:

-Dante Valentine is beautiful. Very very very beautiful. In fact, Dante Valentine continually reminds you about her beautiful, unblemished golden skin, and her black, Molecule-Drip Nail Polish, and how she looks like a holovid star, with her golden skin, and beautiful ringlets of dark hair. Of course it goes without saying that her bosoms are beautiful and natural, but Dante Valentine says it anyways, and...did I mention that her skin is golden? I did? Good, I wouldn't want you to forget, because Dante Valentine wouldn't let me forget how goldeny-smooth her golden skin was when she mentioned it in every chapter.

-Dante Valentine is powerful. Very powerful. If you thought she was beautiful, that ain't shit compared to how powerful she is. Sekhmet sa'es, she's a Half-Demon for Anubis' sake! Just her raised voice can wreck your house and set off car alarms in neighboring counties! The Power she wields would be devistating if unchecked by her only-slightly-more-powerful self control. When Dante Valentine isn't reminding you of how beautiful she is, she's reminding you of how much Power she has at her disposal. Simply too much for mere human "normals" (Interestingly, in "The Demonslayer's Handbook", I call them "Regulars"...)

-Dante Valentine hates everyone (except her Full-Blooded Demon Lover Who Was Killed By Satan And Died Tragically In Her Golden Arms). Examples of Dante Valentine's bitch-ness abound, but the most blatant and recurring examples involve her tagalong, normal-human-male-boytoy-servant "Jace", who follows her throughout the story like a puppy-dog, groveling for her attention and doing as he is told. Some of Jaces contributions to the story:

• Cleared a space off the table for Dante to work


• Booked her a hoverlimo for the evening, then stayed quietly at home as he was told. Good boy.


• Arranged meetings for Dante Valentine with various people, and sometimes he was even allowed to follow Dante Valentine to the meetings, as long as he stayed behind her and off to one side. Quietly. Who's a Good Boy? That's right! Jace! Jace is a Good Boy!


• Miscellaneous Manual Labor, and Looking Hot With His Shirt Off


• Researched all people on a list to see who was still living in the city


• Got Drunk and sleept nude in the same bed as Dante Valentine, but No Touch-Touchy! Because if you remember, Dante Valentine is Very Powerful, and one Powerful Touch of Her Goldeny Smooth Skin (I mentioned the golden skin before right?) and poor-old Jace would be ripped limb from limb by the devistating release of Powerful Power! Because in case you forgot...

-Dante Valentine is Powerful. Very Very powerful. She beats her own sensai at staff-fighting, bosses around the chief-of-police, and kills off werecain just as fast as her skin can instantly heal back to a goldeny smoothness. She can inject healing Power right into others! She can cast runes and spells, talk with the dead, and see into the future! She can see in almost total darkness! She has heightened speed and reflexes! She eats enough food to feed three football teams in a single evening and never gains a pound due to her Demonic Metabolism! Like Steven King said, she probably "farts purfume and shits petunias..."

-Dante Valentine is Misunderstood! Sure she's a stark raving bitch in the even numbered chapters and an erotic tease in the even numbered ones, but if they only knew about the italicized first person rationalizations, then they would know better than to..

• Disagree with Dante Valentine


• Question Dante Valentine's decisions


• Not jump when Dante Valentine tells them to clear the damn table off so she can have a place to work, and then sit quietly in the corner as they are told.


• Fail to notice her golden skin[Editor's note: Saw that one coming, didn't you? I'm telling you this isn't half as often as it's mentioned in the book.]


• Fuck with Dante Valentine! Who would dare to Mess with her? Don't they know....

-Dante Valentine is POWERFUL! VERY VERY VERY FUCKING POWERFUL! She does not age, and when she either outlives or kills off all the other Gods, her skin will still be golden and smooth. When The Devil (Yes, the Devil) calls her on the telephone because he can't breach her defensive spells, here is how Danny Valentine talks to him, "...you're just lucky I don't come after you..." and "Look here, you son of a bitch..." [Editors Note to Self: DO NOT FUCK WITH DANTE VALENTINE!]

So, you might like "Dead Man Rising" by Lilith Saintcrow if you can identify with a self-centered, egotistical bitch with the power of God herself and sexy, golden skin, who was continually demeaning to others, and then rationalizing it to the reader through First Person Italicized Thoughts.

I couldn't, so it brought "Dead Man Rising" from an 8 down to a 5. Plus, I learned a valuable lesson. Good writing skills are only half the story.

Read on,
-CZ

Labels: Authors, Book Review, Writing

I just finished Michael W Dean's $30 Film School. The subtitle is "Write, Finance, Direct, Produce, Shoot, Edit, Distribute, Tour With, and Sell Your Own No-Budget DIGITAL Movie." The target market is absolute newbies, (like myself) who don't know the difference between a producer and a director.

The Bad:
If you cut out every "I" in this book and taped them together they would circle the Earth. Twice. I wish authors would get their damn credentials, near-death-drug-rehab-and-how-it-changed-their-life-forever experience, and the worthless name-dropping out of the way in Chapter One so I can skip it and get to the 'how to' stuff I picked up the book to read about.

I didn't like the way Michael would beg people to work for him for free, and then piss and moan when they didn't come thru for him. Publishing the pissed off letter to someone who let you down is Childish, especially when the person was working for free (or not working for free, which makes as much sense).

Later in the book, he says "Film is built on relationships..." and "...it's all about people". Right. I have a feeling this man is good at making movies by himself, because no one will work with him.

The Good:
If you can sift thru the self-important bullshit, the rest is surprisingly good and chock-full of useful information. It has lots of useful tips on creating a movie yourself, everything from camera angles to format conversions, to duplication and distribution, clever methods for getting your film 'out there' and a good intro to contracts, copyrights and such.

I thought the best part of this book was the motivation. Michael W. Dean is clearly about the art, and wants you to be as well. Not quite Anti-Hollywood, but more Un-Hollywood. He doesn't mind living meagerly as long as he can make his art and get it out to people. He is one of the few people whose marketing practices I agree with: start by making talented art, and with a little legwork and some flyers, the world will bring an audience to you. Film it, and they will come...

The very very very best advice of all: Don't do art for the money. While Michael might be an arrogant flake, I must admit he is an arrogant flake with artistic integrity.

The last chapter of his book made me want to make an independant movie. (Wait a minute, I just did. Almost forgot) OK, it made me want to make another.

I give the book an 8 of 10. It could have been a 9 if he had taken out all references to himself (then it could have been shorter and named "$25 Film School"). It could have been a 9.5 if he didn't live in California, thriving in the center of the very industry and people he makes fun of.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Book Review, Hollywood, indie movies