Thursday, October 02, 2008

Blog Review: ZenHabits

It's sites like ZenHabits.net that make me want to be a better blogger. I've no delusions that conradzero.com is useful by any stretch of the imagination, but ZenHabits is chock-full of useful, practical, real-world information on how to make your life simpler and better.

It's positive and cheerful too, but don't let that get you down.

There's a marvelous post over there right now by Leo, titled Success Isn’t a Competition: Boosting Others Helps You in the Long Run. It's title pretty much sums the post up. There's some good examples of the idea applied to blogging, but the idea lends itself well to other areas of life. I'd argue that competition is healthy to a point, but there's a lot of truth to what Leo says.

Leo's also starting a "Helping Hand" program, and reaching out to offer support to other bloggers in any way he can. That's great, and I wish him the best. He's already helping me by blogging useful advice. I'm helping him in return by telling all three of my blog readers what a great site ZenHabits is. It's the least I can do.

Ya'all really ought to read it. Leo's got a lot of useful wisdom to share.

Don't pass up on zenhabits! It'd be like starting every sentence of your blog post with a contraction.

That'd be lame.

Art's Resistance
-Z'ro

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Friday, June 08, 2007

Vacation and DSH update

If you've noticed that the blog posts here at conradzero.com were few and far between...

...then you should cut back on your blog reading.

But, for the faithful two or three of you who come here for your fix, I wanted to warn you that the postings are about to become fewer and farther between.

I'm taking a well-earned break from Things-That-Plug-Into-The-Wall, and I should be back in a few weeks, unless I happen across a Cyber Cafe / Hash Bar in Amsterdam, in which case I will update, but it probably wont be legible or intelligible, OR if Turkish Police happen across ME, it might be a while before my next post.

Oh yes, by the way, The First Complete Draft of The Demoslayers Handbook...

...is finished.

KTHXBYE,
-CZ

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Friday, June 01, 2007

Reality Czech

[Editors Note: Well, I'm not sure what happened with Blogger, but I lost some draft posts I was working on. Strangely the titles and labels are still intact, like this, cleverly-named, "Reality Czech". The post was pretty long, and I tend to sit on those, and re-read them when I'm sober (or if I originally wrote the post sober, then I re-read it when I'm drunk. Either way, it manages to get filtered from two perspectives.) Regardless, I will reconstruct as much of this post as I can remember.]

Recently I was talking with Saveau when he mentioned he liked the blog, and especially my book review of Lilith Saintcrow's 'Dead Man Rising' Near as I could tell, he found the review both Negative and Entertaining.

It's strange how frequently I forget that other people read the crap I write here, and how I often treat this blog as simply a journal of thoughts like in the movie Seven, "...his mind just poured out on paper". So I suppose I would expect it to be negative, since I'm the kind of person who sees the glass as not only half-empty, but the half that is left tastes like shit and the service sucks too.

But Entertaining? Remembering back to English Comp I and the "Aims and Modes of the Writing Process" if you aren't writing for Informative, Educational or Persuasive reasons, then you either better be Entertaining, Possessed, or Being Forced To Write at Gunpoint, so I suppose Entertaining is a good thing.

But I wanted to clear up a slight point: I know of lots of writers (especially blog writers) who think that simply being negative is enough to be entertaining, and ranting about how utterly, horrifically bloody-gawd-awful something is is enough to make them entertaining. (Comedians like Rush Limbaugh make entire careers out of it.) I try to be Entertaining AND Negative, not Entertaining BY BEING Negative. The difference is slight, but important, and I try to never say things on this blog that I didn't really believe, or wouldn't say to anyone in person. I want to read this blog fifty years from now and see what the hell I was like 'back then'. So if I rail on things like "Dead Man Rising" or "King Kong" for instance, it's because I really didn't like them - no more, no less.

Blog on,
-Z

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Vampirefreaks.com

Although I detest the name of the website, vampirefreaks.com is like myspace.com, only wearing black studded leather and carrying a bullwhip. The music is better by far, although the coding for the site is "fair to partly" if you know what I mean.

These online spaces are virtual extensions of your so-called-life, and part of the attraction is to make them your own, by adding lists of friends and bands and "I Like Ponies" and "I Hate Emo" and joining like-minded individuals (called Groups on myspace, but called Cults on vampirefreaks) Anyways, here is the latest cult I've been contacted by:

TheVampireFreaksOfMinnesota

We shall see if they accept my application...

Blog on,
-CZ

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Friday, December 15, 2006

The year in vlog reveiw

I was just compiling a list of vlogs I'm more or less keeping up with.....

www.zefrank.com I pointed this out ages ago, but without a doubt, Zefrank wins my VLOG OF THE YEAR...um, if I had one.

http://www.askaninja.com/ Ask a ninja. Sehr lustig. Second place.

Honorable Mention: In other words, if youre really really sick, you could kill a day sifting through them.

http://vlogsanta.tv/
http://www.hopeisemo.com

Yeah, that's about it. I don't watch TV, and I don't have time to spend an hour a day watching stupid video blogs, but now and again, these tend to cross my cursor...

If you have others, please let me know...


Blog on,
-CZ

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Blog is the new graffiti

I recently read about a Sociologist who was doing a study of bathroom graffiti across the nation. It makes sense really - in complete privacy and anonymity, people have the opportunity to write absolutely anything they like, and they know it will be read by members of the general public. (Well, of the same gender anyways). And I bet a lot of info could be gathered by dividing the content by geographic, gender and other divisions. For example, does women's restroom graffiti have more profanity than men's? Does gas station restroom graffiti differ from other types? Do urban graffiti topics differ from rural ones? Where does most porno-graphic-art occur? Where do the funniest jokes occur?

It occurred to me that blogs (personal blogs anyway) are similar to bathroom graffiti, without the anonymity and with a far greater potential audience. They smell better too. Mostly. The difference is that since the authors know they will be identified, they will edit themselves accordingly - most likely to shape the sense of their perceived identity. In effect, a blog post says, I want you to know *this* about me, and *this* is what I think is important/funny/stupid etc.

That is an important difference, because it means that blog posters could *lie* (gasp!) or at the very least emphasize what they want you to think/know about them, and deemphasize what they don't.

Even so, a person's blog probably says as much about them as the bumper stickers on their car, and one could (if one were so inclined) perform an analysis of a person by the content in their blog. Is the content cheerful and upbeat? Or brooding and cynical? Is it all about themselves, or the world around them, or some balance between the two?

Anyway, it would be an interesting experiment for all you fellow bloggers out there to take a look through your posts and decide what they tell the world about you, and what that could mean. Looking back through my own posts as though they were written by someone I did not know, I would guess the following:


  • This person likes Computers, Under-Rated B Movies, and Industrial Music

  • This person hates DRM, Dashboard Confessional, Quentin Tarrentino, Over-Rated Which Fail To Deliver, and Stereotypical American Attitudes

  • This person probably wears a lot of Black

  • This person is a Listmaker



Blog on,
-CZ

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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

E = 1/2 (m*V^2)

You may notice that I have activated comments on the Blog, and you are probably wondering what it has to do with the formula for Kinetic energy I used as the title of this post. I have been loathe to turn comments on for the same reason that I would loathe leaving my 11-year old niece Danielle alone with a can of gasoline and some matches...

...because somebody is going to get hurt.

But after some reflection, the truth of the matter is that I really don't care what anyone else thinks about my blog posts, or I would never post them. Not to mention that the lack of comment availability doesn't stop people from sending me e-mail after e-mail, telling me what they think anyways. I have found some of them to be insightful, witty, entertaining, and thoughtful...

...and then there are the rest that are simply entertaining.

So in order to share this entertainment with all of you, I have left the gas can unattended, alongside a whole mittload of M-80's and I'm standing aside to see what becomes of it.

Someone will probably get hurt, but it should be fun to watch. Now, you all behave yourselves...

Comment on,
-CZ

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Monday, July 24, 2006

New Digs

The transfer is complete, and Dreamhostis the F%$king BOMB!

I will be weeding through old blog posts and deleting ones that don't fly anymore, so you might want to go back and sift through them all one last time...

...well, maybe not.

Instead, go over to zefrank.com and check out TheShow Because it is Way funnier then this crap...

Blog on,
-CZ

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Friday, July 21, 2006

Change Cometh

My website, blog and all is pulling up stakes and moving to Dreamhost. Somehow, all the fiber-optic cable in the world won't make this change go any faster. The process will take a couple days while the Spell of Imminent Domain Relocation +2 percolates through the heartless, syrupy-black tentacles of the internet.

I know, I know, 'change is Bad!' right? Qwitcher whining! Once complete, I will have 20GB of space to play with, instead of my current 10MB, so basically I could repost my same website over and over two thousand times. Hmm, that's a thought...

Anyway, expect a bit of downtime, and a bit of reorganization, and, dare I say it?

...additional content. (Great Ones Help Us!)

Stay tuned. Change cometh...

Blog on,
-CZ

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Friday, July 14, 2006

Splog

I went looking for some new virtual real estate, as I am thinking of starting a business venture, and one of the names I looked into was Zerovision. So of course, I checked out zerovision.com you can check the site yourself, but I don't recommend you do, because it is a splog Someone bought up the domain name just to turn round and sell it at a profit.

Of course now there are rules against this, you can't simply buy up a made up domain name and not use it, waiting for some company with that name to buy it from you. Not to mention that there is a cost to register the domain, and a yearly fee to keep the name registered to you. Of course this will not keep any determined vulture from wanting to cash in, and thus was born the splog.

I think zerovision.com is a particular kind of splog called a scraper site. There is NO CONTENT on the site at all. The entire site is made of buzzwords scraped together (hence the name) from high-ranking websites, to place it as high as possible on search engines, and generate any traffic at all to their site. Where the content is supposed to be (in the body center of the page) is...you guessed it, advertisements. Tons and Tons of ads, which probably generate a small bit of revenue.

Now the vulture can say they are actually using the domain name, and the site might actually make a couple bucks from ads, although if they made enough to offset the yearly registration fee, I would be surprised. The real money is made by reselling the name.

I e-mailed the owner of the website/splog zerovision.com, and asked them how much they would sell the name for. I have copied the e-mail below. I have reversed the order of this e-mail trail so you can read it from the top down, but I have not changed any content. Keep in mind that a website name costs about ten bucks to register.

I know it looks like something I would make up, but I assure you this is the real thing.


***********************************************************
-----Original Message-----
From: DomainSpa.com e-mailer [mailto:mailbot@domainspa.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 13, 2006 11:36 AM
To: exoticdomains@domainspa.com
Subject: [zerovision.com] Inquiry


Domain: 'zerovision.com'
Date: '7/13/2006'
From: 'conradzero@gmail.com'
Subject: 'Inquiry'
Message follows:

how much to buy this domain name, zerovision.com?

-C


-----Original Message-----
From: ExoticDomains [mailto:exoticdomains@domainspa.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 13, 2006 11:38 AM
To: conradzero@gmail.com
Subject: RE: [zerovision.com] Inquiry

$5000



-----Original Message-----
From: Conrad Zero [mailto:conradzero@gmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 13, 2006 1:37 PM
To: exoticdomains@domainspa.com
Subject: RE: [zerovision.com] Inquiry


That's funny.

But seriously, how about two hundred, and I will still call you a thief
afterwards?

Sincerely,
-C


-----Original Message-----
From: ExoticDomains [mailto:exoticdomains@domainspa.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 13, 2006 12:49 PM
To: 'Conrad Zero'
Subject: RE: [zerovision.com] Inquiry

How about I will call you an asshole now?



*******************************************************


How about? Heh.

Of course, I reported the site as a scraper site to google, which should jerk their search results out from under them...

...and Now, I'm an asshole.

Splog on,
-CZ

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Friday, June 02, 2006

Why marketers should be strangled to death with their own entrails

A link at lifehacker.com was titled "Better Blogging with Copyrighting 101" the link took me to an article on www.copyblogger.com about writing good copy. I was interested to see how the two were related. Turns out they aren't. Unless of course, the goal of your blog is to pitch something, which is the entire reason behind copyblogger.com.

Now I remember why I hate marketers almost as much as I hate Dashboard Confessional.

I knew that it would not take long before some American would ask him/herself, "Gee, how can I make money from my blog?" Of course the obvious answer is to charge for advertising space, but that requires hits. Hits you and me don't have (especially me). Hence, a barrage of wondrous tips from copyblogger on how to improve your readership.

I was expecting intuitive, common sense tips, like "Having Something New And Interesting To Say" is a good one, "Know What The Fuck You Are Talking About" is another, "Being In Good Grammers And Speling" goes without saying. But instead, we get this:

the following is quoted directly from here

-The Purpose of your Headline is to get the First Sentence read.
-The Purpose of the First Sentence is to get the Second Sentence read.
-And so on, down a slippery slide that leads to your offer and the sale.


Right. As though the rest were elementary, and simply having the correct headline will MAKE people buy your product. Priceless.

The best part is that this is not only talking about how to market, IT IS MARKETING! The very text of the article is pitching this stupid idea/product to you the reader/target. Genius in its approach, and idiotic in content. Classic marketing.

One tip I did try out with this post was to make a title which would pull people in. (also known as a 'hook') and maybe it worked if you are reading this now.

So I subscribed to the RSS feed, not because I expect to boost the ratings of my humble blog, but because it is So Easy to make fun of people like this. So I should have no shortage of material in the near future...

Blog on,
-CZ

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Friday, February 10, 2006

Sue - Get Checked!

A friend whose name I will not divulge told me that someone named Sue not only reads my blog, but actually enjoys it.

Suzy-Q, I'm telling you for your own good, this shit will warp your mind. If this blog were a soda-pop, it would be TaB. Worse, it would be TaB Clear.

No, even that doesn't do it proper injustice. It would be Diet TaB Clear. No benefits to speak of, and all the drawbacks. It's an intellectual toilet where my brain-poo gets flushed out onto the cesspool of the internet...

Hell, I don't even read this blog, and I write the damn thing.

...but thanks for reading, Sue...

Blog on,
-CZ

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Monday, May 09, 2005

Nearing Ubergeekdom - Robert Scoble the Microsoft Man-Myth

I met Robert Scoble last Friday at the 'geek pub crawl', but didn't really get to speak with him at length. I did sit at his table for about fifteen minutes, but the group that had him cornered seemed more interested in "the Microsoft Man-Myth that is Robert Scoble" than in blogging or technology or business. So I bailed, thinking I would come back later and catch a better (and more intoxicated) conversation. By the time I returned, he was gone. Ah well.

From the little I saw, I can say that Robert is a charming fellow with a good sense of humor. Strangely enough (even to myself) I noticed his shoes were quite plain. I don't know why I even looked, but I guess I expected him to wear sneakers with a suit, like Phil Collins, but spotted black leather dress shoes that were terribly conservative. The only other time I can remember even noticing someone's footwear was a stripper at the Red Rose in Austin, TX, (probably because that's all she was wearing) but I digress. In fairness, he had just come from a meeting with Target Corp. so I'm sure his sneakers were in the backpack; and while I had never seen a backpack with a jacket and slacks before, but it actually worked quite well for him.

I told him not to judge Minnesotan's too harshly, since all there really is to do here in 'flyoverland' is Drink, Blog, and Write Progressive Rock Music (The fourth thing, which is End Sentences with Prepositions, is something I didn't think to bother him with.) It is no coincidence that these things can all be done in the basement when the weather hits 110 below zero.

Sadly, I forgot to ask him for feedback on my "Open Letter to Podcasters" on keeping their damn times down.

Blog on,
-CZ

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Joined the M.O.B.

[Editor's Log, Stardate March 2007 - The MOB Blogroll has been long pulled down from this site, but I haven't completely abandoned my left and right winged brethern. You can check on them here and see that Conrad Zero is still among them in spirit, if not political orientation.]

I have joined the M.O.B. The Minnesota Orginazition of Bloggers, that is. Last Friday, I met with several members of the M.O.B. who seem to be a group of highly intelligent, well-spoken individuals with an amazing tolerance for alcohol. Of course, this is just a front for their real purpose, as an elite recruitment team for the Illuminati. I have passed their drug test (I was drinking Newcastle Ale, check.) and their fitness test (I managed to walk to the restroom and back without falling over, check.) and the intelligence test (I told them I despise country music, gangsta rap and NASCAR, triple-check.) So now, I'm in.

I will keep you posted as I advance up the ranks in an attempt to discover the true identity of the Illuminati/Shadow-Government Leader.

Meanwhile, please enjoy the plethora of lovely blogs listed here, but I should warn you that some of them are run by Other People, and Other People may have Different Points Of View than your own, so click not, lest you are secure in your political, sexual, religious, and other viewpoints.


Blog on,
-CZ

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Sunday, January 09, 2005

Open Letter to Podcasters (on Keeping it Short)

Somehow, in the initial excitement of podcasting, many have the misconceived notion of a podcast format as an hour long production, as though they were a syndicated radio talk show. There aren’t many reasons that a podcast post should be longer than a Blog post. Would you subscribe to a Blog that posted hours worth of reading material? Every day? NEWS FLASH: PODCASTED AUDIO IS NOT FREE TO THE SUBSCRIBER! It takes bandwidth to download, MB to store, and most importantly - time to listen to it.

Blog postings over two pages are LONG… Podcasts longer than a voicemail message are LONG. Podcasts over 10 minutes are REALLY LONG, and require people to schedule the listening into their free time somewhere. The longer the post, the less likely it is that people will make time to hear it. More than a half-hour per day is nearly insane, and you either need to be Really Interesting, or have some Really Good Information (or both) to maintain subscribers.

With this in mind, here are two tips I can offer to reduce the size of your posts, thereby increasing your number of subscribers:

1) BREAK IT DOWN: Break your recording into sections and label them like Blog posts so people can pick and choose what they listen to, as well as skip to the next post without having to listen to the entire thing. For example, instead of releasing an entire CD as a single post, release each track separately. Instead of releasing an Hour long talk show, release each topic as a separate 5-10 min post (Are you listening Engadget? Dave Slusher?)

2) EDIT: No one expects podcasts to be professional; it is part of the geeky, quirky, kitchiness of the medium that makes it interesting (HEY! I’m a geek with a microphone! Here me babble, and say “Ummmm…” and “Ahhhhhh…”!!! How Unprofessional! And it’s reaching the Entire Blogosphere! Hehehe...) So editing mistakes out is probably a mistake -leave them in. But editing for content is another matter. If you drift off topic for too long, or experience technical problems, you owe it to your audience to cut that crap right straight out. If you are tech savvy enough to do a podcast, you can also cut up or re-record your audio before posting it.

A prime example of "How NOT To..." is Adam Curry’s 1-7-05 “Source Code” post, weighing in at just over 43min long, After 4 min into it, he still had not started yet! Instead, he rambles disjointedly about how the previous recording didn’t work, and how he bought a coconut, and how good the coconut tastes, and how a coconut makes an unwieldy drinking container, and that the ceiling fan in his hotel room is noisy, and he actually turns it on for you to prove it, and he did actually BLOW HIS NOSE, which was a thoughtful way for him to waste his listeners' time, as well as space in their mp3 players, and makes him come off as someone who just likes to hear his own voice, or someone who thinks you are fascinated enough with his life to want to hear the sounds he makes in the bathroom.

I am picking on Adam Curry because he should know better, given his background, and being a forerunner and evangelist in the field of podcasting. He should be setting the standard. 'Mikes Manic Minute' is a bit extreme in the other direction, but something between these two extremes better suits the standard.

Drifting off-topic for a moment is OK and fun and sometimes funny, but pissing away the first 4 min of a 45 min post is rude to the listener. Expect them to do what I did: Unsubscribe. Worse, if the majority of podcasts behave this way, the entire technology will not see the adoption rate I’m sure we would all like.

On a side note, I would just like to say that I hate the term “podcasting” more than anyone, but even I realize it’s too late to change it now. Just let it go. As bad as it is, I can’t image a term for anything worse than “Blog”, which is one of the sounds a toilet makes, and no one seems to mind that….

Conrad Zero
www.conradzero.com
conrad@conradzero.com

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Tuesday, January 04, 2005

The Blog of Death

The Blog of Death pretty much pulls together all you might want to know about the subject of dead people. The content seems to be mostly the obituaries of famous people, but the site has links to Obit listings of major cities. You can subscribe to the RSS feed and make sure you know about the latest bucket-kickers.

I will be listing myself on the Blog of Death nightly of course, as I never sleep; I actually die every night, and trapise through the valley of the dead, (where thou canst not purchase a decent ChiliDog to save your, well, you know...) and throw down with Sam Kineson, and Saint Augustine, and Kurt Cobain (who really should be in Purgatory, but I guess Satan really dug the Bleach album...) And every night I battle the Angel of Death, (sometimes arm wrestling, sometimes Scrabble, I am fairly sure he lets me win...) reclaim my soul, and rise from the bed in the morning (make that Late Morning) like the Phoenix from the ashes, to battle life anew...

Die on,
-C

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Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Random Thoughts

Although he won't admit it, "The Dude" is a personal friend, pessimist, and ocassionally pretty funny. After much prompting from people such as myself, he has started his own blog.

Blog on,
-C

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Thursday, January 29, 2004

The very First conradzero blog post

So I get this letter from one of my many "fans"...

"...so, I was kicking around the net and decided to check out your site, and I have a question. Are you going to do something with it or is it an experiment, like leaving milk in the fridge for a couple or three years, to see if it becomes sentient and kills itself for lack of content?" -JS

In answer to your query, it is not my postings that have stagnated, it is in fact my Life which has stagnated, and once I do something noteworthy (musically or otherwise), I will certainly post it.

Meanwhile, in order to stimulate less-unrecent postings, I have adopted Blogger to simplify website updates for this page. Here you will find disassociated ramblings, drunken discourse on morals and ethics, links to obscure websites, answers to your smart-ass e-mails, and the usual stuff bloggers blog about:

"Guess what I had for breakfast this morning!!!"
"Here is the guy I always get mistaken for!!!"
"Oh yeah, sometimes this guy too..."
"SpongeBob Rulez!"

Blog on,
-C0

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Conrad Zero - Minneapolis Musician Author and Demonologist