The Works: a Writer’s Salon is held on the first Tue of each month at the Bryant Lake Bowl in Minneapolis. I’ve never been to the Works before, partially because it sounded more heavily steeped in poetry than prose, but mostly because Tuesday night is usually Jagged Spiral band practice. Turns out practice was cancelled while our guitar player is on vacation this week, so I decided to swing over to the BLB to check out this month’s topic: The New Reading: Alternatives to the Traditional Literary Reading.
The entry fee was $6-$10 on a “Sliding scale,” meaning 6 to 10 dollars is the suggested donation, and you pay what you can. For those who haven’t been to the theater at BLB, it’s cozy, with good sound, lights and stage, and waitstaff. You can order food, apps and drinks right there in the theater.
First up was Todd Boss, who gave a list of thoughtful suggestions for how to make readings more alternative:
include video during your reading
memorize your work
record your work for internet distribution
collaborate with other artists on stage
Todd also suggested a new book by the Harriet Monroe Poetry Institute filled with ideas that you can download for free called Poetry and New Media: A User’s Guide.
Jamie Buehner & Nick LeMere gave an example of on-stage collaboration. Jamie read her poetry while Nick did some motion/interpretive dance inspired by her words. Someone pointed out how it felt more like watching TV because the poet was reading to the dancer more than she was to the audience.
Alison Morse & Sandy Beach were there to represent the Talking Image Connection, an organization that “connects emerging poets and writers with adventurous visual artists and new audiences.” Alison talked about the TIC group and what they do. Sandy Beach read a poem inspired by a visual work from another artist. Read more about TIC on their website: http://www.talkimage.org/
Punk poet Paul Dickinson gave a highly entertaining presentation of his poetry. Watch the video below of Paul giving a reading of his poems at the Art Shanty Project:
Notice that he has his poems memorized. Paul also hosts a poetry reading at the Turf Club in St. Paul on the first Wednesday of each month.
E.G. Bailey & Shá Cage gave three examples of alternative readings. The first was a beat poetry reading with cool jazz sax accompaniment, broadcast over the house PA while E.G. and Shá sat in the audience, leaving the stage empty.
Second, they went on the stage and performed separate pieces of poetry that they had written about their homelands. What made this alternative was that they both read their poems at the same time, overlapping each other and creating interesting rhythms and textures as they changed the tempo and volumes of their delivery. It was really amazing, and even more amazing that they had never practiced the parts nor heard each others work until they performed it live.
Their third experiment was an audience participation project, which… I won’t talk about. Suffice to say it was alternative.
All in all, I was right that the writer’s salon is dominated by poets. The host, Lightsey Darst made a point to mention that prose readers are also encouraged to participate, and she would love to balance out the poetry with some prose. Go to http://lightseydarst.com/theworks.html to find out more about the Works salon and to sign up for the newsletter.
At the monthly MNSpec writer’s group meeting, I submitted several chapters of my Urban Fantasy manuscript “Evil Looks Good” for the group critique. The bulk of the story occurs in Minneapolis and the surrounding area. My choice of story location struck one critiquer as concerning. She said she didn’t have a problem with me writing a story based in Minneapolis. (“Write what you know,” she said.) But she made it clear that others would.
I quote the following directly from her written critique (All emphasis, caps and quotes are hers)
…be prepared for this to be a tougher sell to NY agents/publishers. Have a damn good reason why it HAS to be in Minneapolis, and can’t be in NY or LA or somewhere more “exotic”.
She also informed me that people from the East Coast and the West Coast believe people in the Midwest to be narcissistic about their homeland. I think she called it the trait of “Midwest Self-Importance”.
Pot. Kettle. Black. Anyway, to sum up her general points:
People living in the Midwest think that the Midwest is important
NY editors do not agree. To them, the Midwest is not important, interesting, or exotic, and stories need a reason to occur there.
NY editors prefer stories set in NY/LA or other “exotic” locations, unless there is a real reason to have them happen elsewhere.
A Study In Narcissism
While driving back from the critique, I decided to give her advice a charitable interpretation.
“New York editors! What a bunch of narrow-minded fill-in-the-blanks!” (Yes, I actually said “fill-in-the-blanks”) “Who do they think they are, putting down the Midwest? Flyover Land my ass. Who cares what a bunch of pretentious New Yorkers and Californians think…”
That’s about as far as my ‘charitable interpretation’ got when the world hit me with one of those grandly ironic and disconcerting moments that the Zen Buddhists try so hard to cultivate. I was treating those editors EXACTLY the same way she told me they would treat me.
That, my friends, is the sound of one hand clapping.
So after that refreshing micro-enlightenment, I was able to a attempt an even more charitable interpretation.
Midwestern pride aside, few will disagree that New York and Los Angeles have a sense of local self-importance that pretty much trumps all others. Write about yourself much? Make movies about yourself much? So perhaps we can chalk up all this talk of local pride to the more global reality that everyone thinks that where they choose to live is important.
But the existence of the term “Flyover Land” makes it clear the coastal cities look down on the In-Between as someplace you fly over to get somewhere important. In retaliation, the Midwest adopted the term “Third Coast” shows that Midwesterners think they are just as important as the bookends protecting them from the oceans.
On reflection, I’d say it isn’t so much that the Midwest has a case of Self-Importance. It’s more true to say that the Midwesterners don’t buy into NY and LA treating the Midwest as unimportant. It’s easy to see how this can be mis-perceived as arrogance.
Seriously. Why would you set your fiction story in Minneapolis?
I could have set my story anywhere. New York, Los Angeles, Pluto… location cost me nothing. So why Minneapolis?
Because NY and LA aren’t as exotic as you think
By definition, “exotic” is something we don’t see or hear much of. That pretty much un-exotics NY and LA. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m tired of stories that happen in LA/NY.
San Francisco and Washington, DC too. Yawn.
Because diversity rules, Baby
It makes me sad that American media is dominated by so few cities. There’s more to France than just Paris. There’s more to Germany than just Berlin. And there’s more to the United States than just New York and Los Angeles. It’s like someone judging your entire high-school graduating class based on meeting the prom king and queen.
Ick. Embrace diversity.
Because Minneapolis isn’t as un-exotic as you think.
For a city with more art per-capita than NY or LA, Minneapolis is severely under-represented in media, and I’m doing my part to help correct that.
I chose Minneapolis as the setting for my story because it’s the Cinderella of the U.S.A. – a gem of a city, under-valued and under-appreciated by its wicked, coastal stepsisters.
-Conrad Zero
Oh yes, and we have the Mall of America too. Just sayin’.
Because Location is a Spice
Can you imagine the Spider-Man movies taking place in Chicago? St. Paul? Milwaukee? Yep. Would that ruin them? Nope. In many stories like these, the location is just a backdrop that adds flavor, but isn’t directly tied to the story.
Am I saying that a city is a city is a city? Sometimes. I am saying you’d be hard pressed to tell one downtown from another during a ninja sword fight against giant, carnivorous, poisonous, exploding spider-leeches.
There are examples where the story location is tied to the story and can’t be changed. If your story is about the President of the United States at work, then your story has to include the location of Washington, DC. But more often than not, the location can be just a spice in the stew. An essential ingredient, but there are many to choose from.
Because of the Miracle of Find/Replace
Let’s suppose that there are editors out there who love Love LOVE New York and hate Hate HATE Murderapolis Minneapolis. Fair enough. In fact, it’s probably true.
But any editor with two IQ points to rub together will be familiar with the terminology “Find/Replace”. This refers to the ability of word-processing software to take any particular word, term, or phrase and replace it with anything you like.
With this in mind, would an editor really reject your story because the main character has red hair and not blonde/black? Drinks RC cola instead of Coke/Pepsi? Lives in Minneapolis instead of NY/LA? Doubtful.
Editors must have X-ray vision. They need to see right into the guts of the story, and if the heart and liver are good, but they don’t like the spleen, then the editor knows it can be replaced. If an editor loves your plot, pacing and dialog, but doesn’t like your protagonist’s eye-color, occupation or hometown… Find/Replace. If they can’t see the story inside the story, then I don’t really want them as my editor. Would you?
Because authors should “Write What You Know”
We’ve all heard the writer’s advice to “write what you know.” To be fair, the critiquer I mentioned earlier did admit to this herself, and suggested a ’solution’ for polluting my story with the Midwest. She said there has to be a reason that the story takes place in Minneapolis and couldn’t take place anywhere else.
This is really good advice. Something all writers should think about. Reminds me of the advice to treat the location like a character in your story.
But my story could take place in any city, so why would I research the geography and climate of Los Angeles when I can write pages of geography and climate about the city I know?
合計 (In Summation)
Stories have to happen someplace, and one of every author’s goals is to make the reader ’see’ that place. But is the success or failure of a story tied to where it takes place? Will it really make your story a hard sell because some N.Y. editors don’t know how to spell Minneapolis? I don’t think so.
As a reader, I care more about the feel of the location than the location itself. A location is important. THE location… not as much. Hells, if Stephen King can write stories based in Bangor, Maine, then I can write stories based in Minneapolis.
I chose Minneapolis as the setting for my story because it’s the Cinderella of the U.S.A. – a gem of a city, under-valued and under-appreciated by its wicked, coastal stepsisters .
Overall, people appreciated it for the mindless bit of fluff that it is – a dark parody, mashing Lovecraftian Evil with a children’s story. But there were several useful points drawn to my attention which could be used to improve the story:
Conrad, your- punctuation? Sucks.
I was aware of this already but it never hurts to be reminded. Actually it does kind of hurt but it’s the good kind of hurt – the kind easily remedied if someone would only read a gorram book on punctuation. Or hire a quality proofreader. Or even a budget proofreader.
How old are Payton and her peers?
The story mentions that the main character, Payton enjoys Spongebob Squarepants and ‘…running through the sprinkler on sunny days…’ which would make one think she was just a little kid. But Payton does have some unsupervised internet activity, and some language which would make one think she’s slightly older.
Guess I never really thought about how old Payton is, because it isn’t important to the story. She’s a kid. She likes cartoons. She rides the bus to school. But the consensus of MNSpec was that a more specific age is important to some readers because it allows them to paint her picture more vividly in their minds. I’ll specify which grade Payton and her friends are in, which will give readers a more accurate fix on the character’s ages.
Evisceration (part I) – Gaa!
I kind of figured the word ‘evisceration’ would add a bit of shock factor to the story. I hate being right. Unfortunately readers weren’t shocked so much by the fact that an evisceration occurred, they were shocked that an evisceration occurred in a book they assumed was a children’s story. The opening of Pinky was pretty Dick & Jane, and the descent into horror was a slow one, but The E Word was a harsh jump. My bad. Readers understood my intent in the genre-shift because they read the story through to the end, but the average reader would quickly toss it in the I Don’t Read Children’s Stories pile, long before they got to the E-word.
Definitely something I have to fix. One person suggested adding a subtitle reflecting the Non-Kiddishness of the book. More than one person suggested a bit of foreshadowing right away, to lock-in the story genre from the beginning.
Evisceration (part II) – Let the punishment fit the crime
There are those who feel that bullies who pick on other kids, beat up other kids, take their lunch money and the like, shouldn’t be eviscerated. What a horrible thing to do!
Maybe not. But then again, nice quiet kids who wouldn’t dream of hurting anyone shouldn’t be bullied. What a horrible thing to do!
Most of the time, the bully gets away with it. But sometimes, the victim comes back to school with a gun, or an Invisible Flying Pony who is disturbingly adept at performing eviscerations.
Society considers the poor kid getting bullied, smiles knowingly, and says “Sucks to be you, but life’s not fair.”
I consider the poor bully getting eviscerated, smile knowingly, and say “Sucks to be you, but sometimes, life is a little too fair.”
Invisible Flying Ponies Can’t Do That!
Sifting through the fridge for a can of Squeezy-Cheese? Moving a dead body around like it was a zombie? Evisceration?
Invisible Flying Ponies don’t have hands!
You’re right. They don’t.
So they can’t do those things!
You’re right. They can’t.
Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
Overall,
I’m happy with the way Pinky was received. People loved the characters and they all got a good laugh out of it. Everyone loved the title, and even the mere suggestion to change the title started an uprising. I thought the guy suggesting the change might get eviscerated by the group. Or worse.
I’ll implement some of the suggested changes, and put one more coat of gloss on the story, (including a high-quality proofreading) then turn Pinky out to the public. I haven’t quite decided on the method of distribution, but members of the Cult of Zero will receive a free copy of the e-book.
What do these people have in common? They are all Bestselling Authors. But lately, there have been a plethora of authors claiming “Bestseller” status. The problem is that they are bestsellers – technically . But you should know that some authors are using a new-and-improved definition of the term that might not match up with what you think of when you use the term “Bestseller.”
There’s little argument that a Bestselling Author is the Author of at least one Bestselling Book. Once Upon A Time, a Bestselling Book was defined as a book that had made it onto the New York Times Best-sellers List. But the more generic definition is a book that sells the best out of a specific category in a specific time. With this more generic definition in mind, a little technical help from online booksellers like amazon.com, and a little ethical flexibility, we can manipulate the category and the time period to raise almost ANY book (and its author) to bestseller status.
The more generic definition of “bestseller” is a book that sells the most out of a specific category in a specific time… we can manipulate the category and the time period to raise almost ANY book (and its author) to “bestseller” status.
Best of…something-or-other
Ever since the birth of Consumer Reports, marketing people realized that the ubiquitous title of “Best” has a high impact with consumers. (Especially American consumers.) Car companies realized that a midsized car with average fuel mileage and average price couldn’t really be considered “best” at anything except being a “midsized car with average fuel mileage and average price.”
Add a dash of Evil Marketing Genius and the problem is solved. They narrowed down the specs to weed out their competition until their car was the ‘best’ within the specified sub-section. The term for this status is “Best in Class,” a phrase likely to be found in any car commercial.
This same approach can be taken regarding published works. If you break the market down to a sub-sub-subsection where your book is the best out of those remaining…then you’re the best! Best of Class, of course, but you’re still the best. It’s like being King of your own tree-fort. You get all the bragging rights of being “Best” but there’s a big disclaimer that comes with that definition of Best-ness.
Applying this approach to Bestselling books, Amazon and other booksellers allow authors and audiences to sort the list of best sellers to sub-categories. Authors can use this to their advantage.
The values are recalculated Every Hour, which leads us to the next piece of best-seller-ness, Timing.
Timing The Bum Rush
Because sites like Amazon measure sales instantaneously and the Bestseller lists are recalculated every hour, it isn’t hard to get your book moved to the top of the list by gathering your friends, and leveraging your social media connections (with added gifts, discounts and other time-limited offers) and launching a timed, all-out purchasing assault in an attempt to “best-ify” books or music This activity is nicknamed a “Bum Rush”
Bum Rush the Charts Logo
A famous Bum Rush was performed on 22 Mar 2007. A website called Bum Rush The Charts planned the large-scale push of the independent band Black Lab up onto music charts worldwide. It worked. The band peaked at #11 on the American I-Tunes charts and in the top 100 of most other countries. An UNSIGNED band broke the charts using nothing more than a strategically timed social media event.
The theory behind a Bum Rush is simple. Get a large number of people to purchase your book on a particular hour of a particular day. It won’t take a lot to get your book moved to the “Best” of your selected category for that one hour. Collect your title and brag forevermore that you are indeed a Bestseller.
Sneaky? No doubt. But there’s also no doubt that the Bum Rush works. In fact, certain book publishers expect their authors to participate in a Bum Rush, (probably called a “Release Event” or some other legal-speak) and will even add a clause requiring author participation into their “Book Deal” contracts.
In Perpetuity
The beauty is that once achieved, the Bestseller title stays with the author for the rest of his/her lifetime, as though they had achieved a doctorate or a Nobel Peace Prize. All the author’s marketing materials will have the words “…by the Bestselling Author of…” and whether the new material is “Bestselling” quality or not, it still says “Bestselling” on it.
Like I said, Evil Marketing Genius.
Backlash
Because of the glut “Bestselling Authors” out there, you will see authors who became Bestsellers using the traditional method refer to themselves as “New York Times Bestselling Author” and their books as “New York Times Bestseller” or possibly other, more specified titles which gives more detail about where their pedigree comes from and how they differentiate themselves from the rank-and-file “Bestsellers”.
The Upshot
I didn’t write this article so you could run out and become a Bestselling Author. My goal was to inform you that the term Bestseller doesn’t hold the same meaning it did before online booksellers came into play. And nothing against those who have achieved their bestseller status the old-fashioned way. Unfortunately, the new definition of Bestseller does water down the prestige of the title.
From now on, you know to be wary of the term “Bestselling” Anything. When you see an author or book listed as “Bestselling” the first thought in your mind should be “Best What out of Which, exactly?”
-Conrad Zero, Bestselling Author (of all published dark-fiction authors over 20 years of age with 10-letters in their name, a last name beginning with the letter “Z,” and living in Minneapolis metro area)
I’m noticing a trend that fewer and fewer works of Monster fiction are being classified as “Horror.” Stories containing non-humans characters such as Demons, Vampires, Ghosts, Werewolves, Aliens, and anything with Tentacles, used to be clear-cut Horror. Now they’re about as frightening as getting a flat tire.
Have we gotten used to the idea of monsters? Have they been watered down until they just aren’t scary anymore? “Diet Horror”? “Horror Lite”?
Of course, media geared toward kids have always brought monsters down to an un-scary level; nothing new there, and Disney certainly isn’t helping things. Monsters, Inc. turned monsters into cute, cuddly creatures who were Frightened Of Kids! And now Monsters vs. Aliens turns monsters into our allies!
Monsters for Kids are nothing new...
But that’s all kids stuff. What I’m talking about is more than simple cartoonification of monsters. Media across the board have sucked the horror right out of the monster market.
Before I get started, just a disclaimer that I don’t believe that all horror stories must contain a monster. I bet the majority of horror stories written don’t have a “monster” in them. I’m just suggesting that the modern monster has lost some – if not most – of its bite.
How far have the horrific fallen? Let’s take a look:
#1 – The Fanpire Shift
You know you're in trouble when Underworld makes fun of you.
I’m going to single Vampires out for two reasons. They really weren’t that scary to begin with, and they have become more popular than all the other monsters combined. These two points perpetuate each other in what I’m going to call the Fanpire shift.
Think Vampires are scary? Guess again. If there was a list of “Pleasant Ways to Die” then getting your blood sucked out of your neck in the embrace of a hot vamp would be at the top of it. If you think Stephenie Meyer or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or any of the Underworld movies depict vampires as scary, try watching 30 Days of Night and you will probably piss your pants. Then you will realize why I think the way modern vampires are depicted, they barely classify as monsters at all.
Keep in mind the original Dracula by Bram Stoker was more Gothic than Horrific. Simply the idea of someone drinking the blood of others to prolong their own life was horrific enough. But Dracula-Done-Right had a sense of inhumanness about the vampire character that was at least unnerving if not flat-out frightening. 30 Days of Night was able to capture the alien feel of vampires, but the majority of books and movies today portray vampires as regal, bureaucratic, pompous socialites. Well-dressed dandies with pointy teeth who drink blood from wine glasses with their pinkys out while listening to Bach. In other words, about as frightening as 70’s fashion.
Because of (or in spite of) this, the popularity of the vampire genre cannot be contained. From the massive success of Anne Rice’s series of vampire books, and the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” franchise which took the vampire genre out of Horror and into the Throap (Part Thriller, Part Soap Opera) vampires are IN. People can’t get enough, or water them down enough. Stephanie Meyer is doing her best to continue this trend, placing vampires in the least frightening genre ever created; heartfelt, awkward, teenage relationship stories.
Adding the popularity of the Vampire genre to the fact that they’re barely tall enough to make it into the monster pool without a parent or guardian, means the entire monster pool gets watered down.
Hey, if it gets kids to read, I’m all for it. But even if the surge in interest of Vampires actually Raises the number of monster books across the board, if sure feels like there’s less and less media focused on the particularly horrible horror monsters when the market is drowned in Horror-Lite.
#2 – The Paranormal Romance
A smooch from beyond the grave...
Proof that Romance will sleep with anything, Paranormal Romance is the bastard offspring of Horror and Romance genres that extends on the notion of ‘Love Conquers Death’ – the belief that Love persists beyond the demise of one or both partners. Paranormal Romance takes ‘love from beyond the grave’ to its extreme. Ghosts and spirits used to be something that you AVOIDED. But Paranormal Romance bravely stepped from the shadows to explore the ATTRACTION to the (un)dead!
Borderline necrophilia. Spirituophilia? But there’s more than just ghosts to love here. Romance knows no bounds, especially in the Para-normal.
It should be no surprise that Vampire Romance is growing in popularity. Of the 66,722 Vampire books listed at Amazon today, 1,491 of them are listed as “Vampire Romance”.
One would have expected that werewolves might have escaped being dehorrified, (with the exception of Teen Wolf, natch) A quick search of ‘werewolves’ on Amazon.com will show you the truth. Out of the 1529 Werewolf books, 279 are “Werewolf Romance”.
Borderline bestiality. Lycanthrophilia? Like I said, love knows no bounds. Even Sharks are finding themselves subject to loving de-horrification:
What’s next? Borderline Tentacle Porn? Chuthluphilia? A search for ‘chuthulu romance’ returned no hits. Thank the gods. Maybe someday when the stars are right…
I don’t dislike Paranormal Romance stories any more than I dislike Romance stories. But turning monsters into love interests wrings the horror right out of them. The rise in popularity of Paranormal Romance alone is enough to un-horrify the monster market.
#3 – The Zombidy and Horror/Comedy
Scene from "Fido"
Zombies have always been funny. Undead, true, but they’re slow; both physically and mentally, which makes them more disturbing than frightening. That is, until you add in the fact that they generally come in large numbers, and the whole “Eat Your Brains” thing (crossed with poor table manners) gives them a more secure seat on the horror bus than Vampires nipping daintily at your Jugular vein.
There’s nothing new about horror/comedy, but the success of well-done films like Black Sheep and “Zombidys” like Shaun of the Dead and Fido raised the bar and ushered in a new wave of films and books that weren’t just laughably bad low-budget B-movies like Chopping Mall or Jack Frost.
Even people who don’t like Horror can appreciate a Horror/Comedy, making that market larger, and simultaneously eroding the pure Horror market; which includes our Scary Zombie and Monster friends.
#4 – Chasing the Horror-Lite Market
Seriously bro, this movie is like so totally scary, its sick! I think it's Rated PG-8!
Dark Fantasy is the kissing cousin of Horror. It appeals to a wider audience, and it’s growing.
Part of the rise in this trend comes from the explosion of the Young Adult book market. Ever since the success of the Harry Potter series, the publishing and movie industries have launched a massive assault on the teen market. In this market, it seems that monsters are less of a main course and more of a side dish adding flavor to a plot, and not a plot in and of themselves. For example, each book of the Harry Potter series contains some kind of monster or terrifying creature, but the books are labeled ‘Fantasy-Adventure’ not ‘Horror’.
Because of the larger market for Dark Fiction, Horror authors and other artists looking for a bigger audience might tone down the Horror and play up the Dark Fantasy aspect in order to give their work a broader appeal. The results are stories like The Graveyard Book, and Twilight, books that were inspired by, but never intended for, the horror section.
So where are the scary monsters?
I want to reassert here that I’m not opposed to any of the genres or movements listed above. Mostly. But I like my monsters scary damnit, and I’m on the verge of calling scary monsters an endangered species.
While horrific horror monsters might not be extinct, there’s no question that the points listed above have conspired to shove the monster market back under the bed. The increase in Vampires, Paranormal Romances, Horror/Comedy and the growth of the Young Adult market may have increased interest in works of darker fiction, it certainly seems to have drowned out the small slice of authors and filmmakers creating frightening Monsters.
But like the things hiding under your bed, just because you don’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there, lurking in the dark and forgotten corners of the bookstore… Stories about creatures that could kill you just by stepping into broad daylight, their very wrongness would rip your sanity asunder.
I’ve compiled a list of modern-day monster stories in the carousel widget on the side of this post, and I’ll add my own books to this list someday. I haven’t read all these books myself (yet), but I picked a handful of books with good reviews that according to the reviews actually contain scary monsters. If you know of any scary monster stories I should add, throw me a comment.
Four Hundred and some-odd slices of dead tree stood stacked up on the desk. Nearly One-Hundred-Thousand words that have taken me years to choose and arrange…
…and I was looking for lighter fluid and my lucky Zippo lighter.
I’d just read a Real book from a Real author, then I looked back at my own work, something I had the audacity to actually print out. I felt bad for the tree that was killed so I could redline the latest version of the Demonslayer’s Handbook manuscript. Turns out a red pen wasn’t enough. I was going to need a 12″ wide red paint roller. It would have been easier to highlight the sections that weren’t complete garbage. There wouldn’t be many.
There’s lots of names for this phenomenon, Burnout, Inner Critic, Self-Doubt, and more, but I call it “Hitting the Wall”.
What is “The Wall”?
You Are Here.
Some who discuss this anomaly are quick to label it as a form of Writer’s Block. This gives them immediate access to the wealth of books, advice and ready-made solutions for that particular problem.
Unfortunately, hitting the wall is not writers block. It’s motivation block. I’ve had both, and believe me, they are two different animals. Their only similarity is that when you have either of them, you don’t get anything written.
Hitting the wall isn’t writers block. It’s motivation block.
Writers block is when you are Stuck For Something To Write (hence the name). When you hit the wall, You Don’t Want To Write Anything At All.
With writers block you stare at a blank page, desperate for some spark of creativity, or some muse to come flirt with your brain. You want to write.
When you hit the wall, you don’t stare at a blank page. You stare at the television, or a video game, or another book, or perhaps (ironically) a wall, because even that is preferable to wasting your time trying to be a writer when you know you are a hack who won’t ever amount to anything and this delusion of being a writer, this temporary insanity that anything you write will ever be read or is even worthy of being read saps all your motivation away, and not only do you not want to write ever again, but you’re compelled to cut your own hands off with a bandsaw as a public service….
Sorry. I digress.
Let’s take a look at some likely de-motivators that can create a wall between you and completion:
Brick in the Wall part 1 – Burnout or Overexposure
I think the reason I hit the wall with my story is because I spent too much time on it. It isn’t hard to do. Musicians do this all the time. You can keep working on a song or book forever, supposedly making it “Better”. But after working on the same thing for an extended period you will eventually get sick of it, like eating the same meal for lunch every day. Some people call this phenomenon “Burnout”.
If you run into Burnout or Overexposure, the cure is to minimize contact with your own work. Limit the amount of time that you allow yourself to work on a piece. (Especially the duration measured in weeks/months.) Put it away for a while and work on another section or better yet, another story. Lock it away for a while, and come back to it later with a clearer mind and fresher eyes. Then, give yourself a deadline for completion. If you are your own publisher, start acting like it and make some deadlines and hold your author (yourself) accountable.
Brick in the Wall part 2 – Unhealthy Comparisons
What really lit my fuse was reading another author’s work that was an example of really good and inspiring writing. Then I read my own work…yikes! Nothing will taint your own work like comparing it to someone else’s professionally edited (and proofread, and published, and bestselling… you get the idea) book.
To avoid this scenario, avoid comparing the perceived ‘quality’ of your work to the work of other authors. This is the ‘grass is always greener on the other side of the fence’ dilemma. It may be better than yours, it may not, but the fact that you’ll never write like someone else also implies that no one else can write like you. No one else can write your story but you. Know that when you’re done, someone else is going to look at your story and feel bad about their own. But this won’t happen if you don’t finish it!
Brick in the Wall part 3 – The Fear of Completion
One type of wall you might hit is the Fear of Failure disguised as Fear of Completion. This can make you doubt if not outright sabotage your own efforts, especially if it happens when your story is nearly finished. If you never complete the book, then it never gets judged. If you pre-emptively judge it as ’sucky’ and never release it, it spares you the possibility that anyone else might judge it as ’sucky’. It’s the same philosophy of people who don’t enter contests. They don’t want to lose, and if they don’t play, then they don’t lose, right?
Wrong.
To overcome this version of the wall, you have to change the definition of failure, and make it work in your favor. Realize that failure = You Not releasing the best book that you can at this time and place in your writing career. Re-writing the same book over and over won’t help you to become a better writer. At some point, you are simply changing the book, and not making it better, you’re just wasting your time. You won’t get better if you don’t finish your work and get it out there. If you don’t complete it, you Lose. Or better – you’re a Loser until you complete it. Success isn’t releasing the best book ev-ar, it’s releasing your book as the author you are now. Don’t worry about making this book better than it is, make it the best you can right now, and get it behind you so you can grow. Then you can worry about making your next book better than this one. Continuing to release better and better books is how you progress as a writer. If you can get this mindset, it will help you to overcome the fear of failure and motivate you to completion.
Tear Down The Wall!
The way out is through.
It was a huge relief for me to recognize The Wall for what it is. Both a fantastic album by Pink Floyd, and a step in the writing process. Just the knowledge that others go through this phase (often enough that there’s a name for it) makes it more tolerable. It isn’t just this story you’re working on, and it isn’t just you.
The Wall is a test.There’s ten thousand things that will get in the way of you writing a book. This is just one of those ten thousand things. A conflict for you to overcome the same way the hero in your story overcomes their conflict. One of the very first conflicts is getting started, and some people never get past that point. If you’re up to the point where you are having problems like hitting the wall and motivational block, be thankful because you have actually made it further than most people.
Remember, to breach the wall of motivation block you don’t need jump starts to your creativity, you don’t need to tickle the muse, what you need is motivation. There’s ten thousand places you can get it. Here’s just one.
Outside the Wall
My lighter didn’t work (lucky, eh?), and so my manuscript is safe. For now.
Realizing that others have this problem is a big help, and I hope I’ve helped other writers recognize this problem for what it is. If you have other suggestions on how to avoid, circumvent, pierce, penetrate, or otherwise ‘tear down the wall’, drop them in the comments section. Best of luck, and I’ll see you on the other side.
In part one of this series on Audience Entitlement, we discovered that the author does not work for the audience.
In part two, I pointed out that the audience doesn’t have to take any crap from the author. (That’s what I’m here for. My amazing perception of the obvious.)
Now, let’s put these two parts together and find out, Will It Blend?
The Golden Rule
I listed “Honesty” and “Respect” as two things the audience can reasonably expect from an author. These are fluffy terms, and difficult to measure. In some cases, only the author knows if they are being honest or not. And there’s always some sum-bich who has to push the envelope. Who’s to say that intentionally leaving the third book out of a series couldn’t be Honestly and Respectfully done, if that’s the artist’s intention?
Plenty of gray area for us to all fight over, but the concept boils down to this:
Regarding the Audience/Author relationship, the best rule of thumb is The Golden Rule, which works in both directions. The author should respect the audience, and the audience should respect the author.
The Solution to Incomplete Series Malaise
Taking this discussion back to the original post by Neil Gaiman, the issue of audience entitlement was brought up regarding the phenomenon I titled “Incomplete Series Malaise”.
The problem summarized, is that the audience wants the next book in the series but the author isn’t working on it, or isn’t working on it as quickly as members of the audience would like.
For the author to simply say “I’m not your bitch” and leave it at that is disrespectful. The audience will say, “I’m not your bitch either,” and then see how many curses about you they can fit into a 140-character twitter post. Sadly this is where Mr. Gaiman left the matter hang, when I believe he is only half right. I say that because the solution to Incomplete Series Malaise comes in two parts:
If the audience respects the author, they won’t make demands.
When a member of the audience begins reading a series, they should not have any expectation of due dates or even of completion, except for what the author communicates. The audience can be as excited and enthusiastic as they want, and while they have every right to ask when the next book will be done, they have NO RIGHT to demand the next book in a series, or to get pissed off if it isn’t getting done when they’d like.
Audiences, if you can’t handle this, then don’t read a series until it’s complete. The author is not your bitch.
If the author respects his/her audience, he/she will tell them when the next book in the series is expected to be finished.
This is the part that I think Mr. Gaiman missed. True, the author does not work for the audience, but an author who does not at least have some respect for thieir audience doesn’t deserve one.
The wise author would have information about book release dates at a webpage/FAQ/blog post where excited fans can be directed. This is the official “I know, I got it, I already answered that, and you can find the official answer here…”
Authors, if you can’t handle this, then don’t write a series. Its disrespectful to the audience, and they are not your bitch.
And So On…
We can extend this simple solution out to ten-thousand other areas of the author/audience relationship. For example, social media responsiveness, web presence, the author’s right to privacy…
When I boil the whole thing down like this, it seems like the “Can’t we all just get along?” solution. And it is. You’d think we wouldn’t need this bit of common sense pointed out to us, but all it takes is one dickhead with a twitter account or an introverted author [Editor's Note: Aren't they all?] to ruin it for the rest of us.
So, when the inevitable happens, and you see authors/audiences getting into a pissing match, feel free to link them here for a dose of common sense.* And if you have any other applications for this bit of wisdom, feel free to leave a comment…
-Zero
*Except for me, naturally. Point me back to this post and I will totally fuck you up.
However, a career in writing wouldn’t be possible without an audience. So we can also say that an author who doesn’t work for an audience… probably won’t have one. So let’s play Devil’s Advocate, turn this discussion on its head, and say the following is also true:
The audience is not the author’s bitch
Think about it – the audience doesn’t have to put up with an author who doesn’t give them what they want.
So am I playing both sides by saying the author doesn’t work for the audience, but still owes them something? Not necessarily. I’m saying the author doesn’t work for the audience, but if they want to have an audience, they can’t really tell them to go screw themselves. We could call this ‘good business sense’ or ‘common courtesy’, but for sake of this article, lets call it a ‘voluntary obligation’. It’s also a conditional obligation: IF the author wants to grow/keep an audience, THEN they have some obligations to the audience, but what are they?
What obligations should an author have to their audience? What can an audience reasonably expect from an author?
We could list a million things, and six billion people would still disagree. You can’t please everyone. Everything the author does is going to piss some people off. (This includes doing nothing at all!) But I think the essence of what the author owes to the audience can be nicely summed up in two words: Honesty and Respect.
Honesty
The first element the author owes to their audience, their publishers, and themselves, is Honesty. Being true to the story. This could be harder than it sounds, and overlaps the terrain known as “artistic integrity”, a topic I’ll post on later.
Honesty is easier to point out when it’s missing, so I’ve compiled a list of dishonest practices I see from authors and their publishers.
Contractual Obligation: You know of what I speak – books that smack of ‘time and money are running out, so I better get this done’. Authors who sign a multi-book contract and lose heart in the middle of the series. (You know who you are, and so do we). The result? Lame plots and wooden characters in situations that the readers think they could have written better themselves. They’re probably right. Preposterous Leaps of Faith that don’t require you to simply suspend your disbelief, you actually have to tie it up in the woodshed.
Of course, it could just be shitty writing. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but you won’t have to read much to find obvious cases of Contractual Obligation Writing. Especially when the author squawks online about their jaded experience. (Feel free to name-drop in the comments section.)
Bestseller Knock-Offs: Anyone else sick of all the Twilight book cover knock-offs? It’s sad and obvious when authors try to cash in on the latest bestseller. “If you liked Harry Potter, then you’ll Love this!!!” I doubt it because I’m not likely to read your cut-n-paste adventure.
Misleading Covers and Cover Copy: Similar to the Bestseller knockoffs, there’s books with covers and copy text that has NOTHING to do with the story inside, which makes you think the printer got the book covers mixed up.
Genre Stretching: How about people stretching the limits of the story’s genre just so they can get into the Genre Of The Month Club? Imagine picking up a Paranormal Romance, and discovering that the “Romance” is the kiss the hero gave his wife on page 3 before going off to battle demons for the next 397 blood-soaked pages?
Given, some of these problems are choices made by the publisher, but they reflect back on the author, coloring him/her dishonest.
There’s more examples of dishonesty I could throw out there (and feel free to add your favorites in the comments below) but I think I’ve made my point. Even if authors don’t care about their audience, their writing will be better overall, and their writing careers will be more substantial if they remain honest and true to the story, themselves, and their audience. Please don’t fake it, the audience isn’t stupid and they aren’t your bitch.
Respect
If Honesty is a fluffy term, then defining Respect is as difficult as nailing down cigarette smoke. Respect has less to do with the writing itself and more to do with the way the author conducts him/her self in public and in communications with others. I’d say Honesty relates more to what is said, and Respect relates more to how it’s said.
Once again, the effects are easier to see if they are lacking, so let’s take a look at some authors methods of being disrespectful to their audience.
Lateness: I don’t get to badger anyone about this one, since I was born two hours late and never caught up to the rest of the world. Turning in a manuscript late to the publisher, showing up late for meetings, interviews, webchats, etc. is disrespectful. Nuff’ said.
Rudeness: Examples of author rudeness abound, but most are seen on the social networks, where replies aren’t as likely to be thought out before they are sent. Twitter, bulletin boards, comments, and e-mail replies are all fertile ground for snarky rebuttals and flaming.
Another example of rudeness is No Reply At All. I can’t tell you how many e-mails I’ve sent to midlist authors (that’s right, writers whose very paychecks are dependent on word of mouth) and I never received a reply. If you’ve got so much e-mail that you can’t keep up with it, then you have a problem that a LOT of authors wish they had.
Combatting Disrespect with Disrespect: This is a variant of Rudeness and I bring it up only because I’ve seen it happen firsthand. This could be an area where Honesty and Respect are mutually exclusive. If you Honestly feel justified in disrespecting someone then to be Respectful would be Dishonest… That’s a no-win situation, and I guess you just have to pick one and live with it. (Like cell phone providers.)
If Trent Reznor wants to tell his fans to fuck off that’s his prerogative, but it isn’t terribly respectful. Trent chose to be honest to himself and disrepectful to certain members of his audience. This isn’t the best choice for everyone, but it’s the choice I made (in case you think I’m disrespectful for having swear words in my blog post.)
The Story So Far (for those too busy to read this ungodly-long blog post)
1 -The audience is not the authors bitch.
2- The author is not the audience’s bitch.
3 – Authors don’t HAVE to be Honest or Respectful to their audience. If they want to Lie, Cheat, Deceive and Swindle their audience they certainly can. But if they were any good at these things, running for political office pays better, and is a lot less work.
4- Authors who want to grow and keep an audience would do well to practice some Honesty and Respect.
The third (and last) post in this series on Audience Entitlement will reconcile these points into a Harmonic Convergence of Utopian Author/Audience Relationship Nirvana. I will become the Author/Audience Relationship Guru and go on Oprah. So, stay tuned…
A fan named Gareth, irate at the author of a series in progress, wishes that the author would hurry up and get the next book in the series out the door. Gareth asks “…what responsibility does he have to finish the story?”.
Have you been there? I know I have. I remember just settling into Stephen King’s ‘Dark Tower’ series when King took a break from writing it to pursue other projects. I thought to myself, “What happens now if he gets hit by a car?”
He did. Thankfully it didn’t stop him from finishing the series, but it certainly stopped me from ever starting on a series that wasn’t completed – a situation I called “The Dark Tower Fiasco”, but we can also call it a more generic term: “Incomplete Series Malaise.”
Mr. Gaiman lists “life” as one of the things that can get in the way of deadlines, but “death” can too. There’s plenty of other reasons books in a series might *never* get published. An author’s imprisonment, career change, drug rehab, spiritual awakening or legal issues can leave an unfinished series unfinished forever.
Audience Expectations vs the Fickle Muse
So what’s the answer to Garth’s question? What responsibility does an author have to their audience, (even to the *world*) to finish the series?
Mr Gaiman answers in no uncertain terms: The author does not work for you.. Actually, that’s only partly true. He said:
The author is not your bitch.
And I agree.
Despite my own frustration at the large pause in the Dark Tower series, it never occurred to me to get upset at the author. Any author/artist/musician can tell you the creative spirit which possesses them is fickle. Force it and it seems…forced.
I’d rather that Stephen King take a break if he’s burned out. I’d rather he shifted gears if that’s what he needs to do. Because if you really want to write a crappy story, simply write one you don’t want to write. And if the author’s heart NEVER comes back to finish the series or the genre or even if the author never writes again… that’s the way it is, and I’d imagine the author is far more disappointed about it than any fan would ever be.
How the Multi Book Publishing Deal is not helping…
Aggravating the issue is the fact that both authors and publishers LOVE to work the series. They layer multi-book-deal upon multi-book-deal with no end in site, treating their works like a television show. Laurell K Hamilton, Jim Butcher and many others have made multi-multi book deals, and who could blame them? Multi-book deals are a security blanket for authors who normally live from book to book.
Given, some writers will write books in their series as separated tales in the same universe. This is how I approach it myself with the Demonslayer’s Handbook, but some writers are pumping out a 1,200 page epic saga and parsing it out over three or four books, and publishers (and fans) are eating it up. This is only going to make Incomplete Series Malaise more common.
What to do when an author gives you ‘Incomplete Series Malaise’
It’s difficult when the author takes a break from a series you really love, and begins working on other things, but just keep in mind that there’s plenty of other people in the author’s life/career who want other things from her/him. (The publisher being one of them; an obligation I’ll discuss in a future post)
Because of these practices and my own experience with the Dark Tower Fiasco, I vowed not to start reading a series until the author is one or more of the following:
Finished with the series
Dead
I’ll catch the finished version when it’s actually finished. Like Mr. Gaiman said, there are plenty of other books to occupy you in the meantime.
But what else can be done? What if you get sucked into a series and you simply cannot wait one more day for the next book? (I think this is why Scott Sigler calls his fans “junkies”…) I think the best thing you can to to help motivate the author is to tell her/him how much you love the series. Threatening might work. (Read “Misery” by Stephen King.) Bribery might work, but I wouldn’t count on it.
Sorry if that’s cold council, but this is the danger of getting hooked into an unfinished series. You have to keep in mind that the author does not work for you. The author can’t please everyone, and you are part of that everyone.
In the next post on this topic, I’ll turn the discussion around and we’ll see how what the author *does* owe to the audience...
You can read the wikipedia entry here, but I think the term was invented to handle stories that included both elements of Fantasy and Sci-Fi. What genre label can you put on a book that has dragons fighting against military spaceships? Time-traveling elves?
Speculative Fiction is a broad genre that is more defined by what other genres won’t include. Put a time-traveling elf in a Romance or a Mystery or a Western, and those genres will kick you right straight out. But Speculative Fiction is the ‘Island of Misfit Stories’. Which means they don’t mind a Horror author in their midst. I just tell them my writing is “Dark Fiction”.
Writers Group Discussions:
The writer’s group has several functions. First, there are discussions based around the subject of writing/publishing. These discussions would benefit any writer, not just writers of Speculative Fiction.
The latest group discussion focused on the beginning of your story (aka: the Hook). The group organizer brought examples of famous story openings and we talked through whether we thought they were good or bad, and why.
Topics for future discussions are often brought up by suggestions. Next month’s discussion is “What authors do you love/hate and why?”
Writers Group Critiques:
The primary function of the group is critique. People submit their writings to the group website. The group prints out and reads the submissions, and critiques them, highlighting mistakes, pointing out logical errors, mentioning things that were confusing and things they liked/didn’t like. Word count of submissions is limited, so people often post sections of writing. The number of submissions is also limited each month.
The more you … participate with the mindset of helping others to become better writers and letting others help you to become a better writer, the more you’ll get out of it.
Once per month, the group gathers and we go around the room, each person presents their critique to the author. The author is expected to bite their tongue until each person has had their say. Critiques are limited to 3 min per person. After each person has critiqued, the author then has their chance to thank, explain and rebuke the critiques.
At first blush, it sounds like an opportunity for a new author to get seriously lambasted by a snake pit of experienced writers. That would depend on the members of the group, and I can tell you that our group is very positive and supportive. Very few things get thrown, and the only weapon I’ve seen available is a stuffed snake. In other words, no one is mean and no one gets hurt. The more you are able to check your ego at the door and participate with the mindset of helping others to become better writers and letting others help you to become a better writer, the more you’ll get out of it.
Other Benefits of a Writer’s Group:
Getting diverse and objective opinions on your work is only part of what writers groups provide.
Groups like MNSpec are the “writing community.” They truly understand what it means when you say you finished your story, or got accepted, or published, or rejected. Someone else at the meeting has the same questions you do. Someone else there has the answer because they had that question before.
Writers groups will test your public speaking skills. If you are nervous speaking in public, here’s your chance to practice with a limited and sympathetic audience.
Members will share and discuss opportunities and events going on in the local community. Author readings, radio interviews, newspaper articles and more; if it’s going on in your area, the author’s group is the grapevine for spreading that news.
The submission deadlines of the group are… deadlines. They will help to motivate you, if you are the kind of person who needs deadlines to get motivated. And the knowledge that your writing will be read by others will make you realize that you are NOT writing for yourself.
Another advantage of critiquing the work of others is that it sharpens up your Inner Editor. When we re-read our own material looking for errors or ways to make it better we are really Editing. Evaluating other peoples work gives your Inner Editor the skills to do a good job on your own work later.
What if there isn’t a Writer’s Group in my Community?
Trick Question. If there isn’t a writer’s group in your area, then YOU START ONE.
Meetup.com is painfully simple to use. Yahoo Groups too. Craigslist, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter. Need I say more? If you can write an e-mail then you can start a writers group. And if you can’t write an e-mail, that’s a skill you might want to work on before you go starting a writers group.
But don’t forget to look in the real world, at people and groups in your local area. If you’re in school, I bet your English Dept would be thrilled to support a writer’s group. Post something at your workplace, or local bookstore or coffee shop. Think of places readers and writers would hang out in your area.
The trick is to pick a neutral meeting ground. Don’t have meetings at your house. It could be as simple as your local fast-food hangout or coffee shop, or the local library. Libraries often have public meeting rooms that are free to use.
If you have more writer’s group tips or suggestions, leave a comment. And if you want to know more about MNSpec, go to their website: Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers.
can be broken down into some pretty questionable categories. Just find a niche that isn’t being currently dominated, and drop your book in. If 
turns monsters into our allies!
, or any of the 
movies depict vampires as scary, try watching 
and you will probably piss your pants. Then you will realize why I think the way modern vampires are depicted, they barely classify as monsters at all.
was more Gothic than Horrific. Simply the idea of someone drinking the blood of others to prolong their own life was horrific enough. But Dracula-Done-Right had a sense of inhumanness about the vampire character that was at least unnerving if not flat-out frightening. 30 Days of Night was able to capture the alien feel of vampires, but the majority of books and movies today portray vampires as regal, bureaucratic, pompous socialites. Well-dressed dandies with pointy teeth who drink blood from wine glasses with their pinkys out while listening to Bach. In other words, about as frightening as 70’s fashion.
and “Zombidys” like 
raised the bar and ushered in a new wave of films and books that weren’t just laughably bad low-budget B-movies like 
.
and a step in the writing process. Just the knowledge that others go through this phase (often enough that there’s a name for it) makes it more tolerable. It isn’t just this story you’re working on, and it isn’t just you.
