A great website for a great cause, http://www.circusofbrassandbone.com is an online serial-story by fellow MNSpec author, Abra Staffin Wiebe.

The Story

The Circus of Brass and Bone is a steampunk fiction story set primarily in 1800′s America. Although, since the main source of power in this alternate reality is aether and not steam, it’s more accurately labeled as aetherpunk.

From the website:

After the collapse of civilization, the show goes on….

The Cause

Abra’s mom is in some dire straits. She has an advanced cancer compounded by no job and no savings. You can read more about her situation here, but the upshot is that Abra is releasing The Circus of Brass and Bone on a “Pay What You Can” basis in order to raise funds to help offset her medical expenses.

What YOU can do to Help:

1-Read

Check out Episode One: Everyone Dies or listen to the podcast. You’ll find out just what a great writer Abra is.

2-Connect

Subscribe to the podcast, get on the e-mail list, friend up the facebook fan site. Check out the links below, so you don’t miss any of the upcoming episodes.

3-Donate

Seriously, Abra’s mom needs your help. Skip your daily Grande Mocha Frappuccino and toss a couple bucks towards a good cause.  Click here to Donate directly to Abra Staffin Wiebe through PayPal.

4-Share

Blog, Twit, Stumble, Digg, Friend, Comment and Like the hell out of this.

Links

• The Circus of Brass and Bone Website – Note, the e-mail list signup form can be found here.
• RSS Feed for each Episode
• The Circus of Brass and Bone Facebook Fan Page

Yours Darkly,

-Zero

My cousin Andrew told me about a funny video called The Legend of Old Gregg. After a bit of sifting on youtube, I found plenty of references to the show, some clipped-out highlights, and many people misspelled the name as “Old Greg”. With some patience, I was able to piece together and watch the whole episode. It was so funny, I tracked down the entire British sitcom called “The Mighty Boosh.”

The show follows the exploits of two English blokes: Howard Moon (played by Julian Barrett) and and Vince Noir (played by Noel Fielding). Their everyday lives as zookeepers, storeowners, and musicians is interrupted every episode by the most strange and funny situations and the most bizarre characters imaginable:

• Old Gregg the scaly, man-fish
• The Spirit of Jazz
• Betamax (yes, the non-VHS tape format)
• The Crack Fox
• Black Frost, a creature who freezes people solid with smoke that comes out of his… um, you’ll have to watch the show…
• The Hitcher, a strange green man with a giant thumb wearing a doughnut over one eye.
• A giant wad of bubble gum
• A horrible demon in the form of a nice old Nana

In the tradition of Monty Python (and inexpensive movie production) you will see Julian Barrett and Noel Fielding appear in multiple roles in each episode.

After watching all three seasons I can tell you that The Mighty Boosh is awesome. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. If there were more fun shows like this on TV instead of all the bullshit crime/courtroom/medical drama, I’d be tempted to actually start watching TV again.

To get your feet wet, head over to The Mighty Boosh YouTube channel and poke around. It won’t take long before the Power of the Crimp compels you.

All three seasons of The Mighty Boosh have been released on DVD, and it’s on Netflix too, so check it out, and make sure to catch The Legend of Old Gregg from Season Two. It’s even funnier if you follow Howard Moon and Vince Noir through their adventures from the beginning. Then when you get to the third season and watch “The Power of the Crimp” you’ll totally get it.

Crimping

Noel Fielding and Julian Barrett developed a synchronized-a-cappella-scat-song format they call a Crimp.  It was just this little thing they would do during their shows, but it eventually got popular enough that they gave it a name in the season three episode, The Power of the Crimp.

You can read more about Crimping here on Wikipedia.

The Future Sailors Tour

As I write this, The Mighty Boosh are touring the united states, but earlier sections of the tour have been recorded and you can catch them on this DVD called Thank Boosh It’s Friday.

The Documentary of the Future Sailors Tour

And if that’s not enough, someone is doing a movie of the Mighty Boosh on Tour called Journey of the Childmen:

Fantastic.

http://www.joke-pages.com/jokes/images/org-calc.swf

To quote Marillion, “Thank God For the Internet.”

Blog on,
-CZ

Touting itself as “The Largest One-Day Festival in the Midwest” Grand Old Day is best described as miles and miles of bands, art, beer and fair fare…and nowhere to park. My suggestion is to go there NOW and find a parking spot and hold it until the festival on Sunday. If you’re the entrepreneurial type, grab several parking spots and auction them off when Grand Old Day kicks into high gear.

Plenty of great Minnesota acts to catch here: Chooglin, Mark Mallman, Doomtree, Red Pens, Hookers & Blow, Jeremy Messersmith…and a bazillion unknowns.

The great thing about Grand Old Day is you can’t get lost. Just stay on Grand Ave and walk until you find something you like. I’d be surprised if you could make it the entire length of Grand Ave and back by the end of the festival. I’ve tried it before. BAD IDEA.

Admission is free.. BUT… To get into the “festival gardens” (read: areas where adult beverages are allowed) requires a $10 wristband. There might be a charge to get into some of the clubs along Grand Ave, but there’s so much going on outside the only reason to go inside is if it’s raining.

Check the online schedule of events here.

For those looking for a pdf of the event schedule to print out, some idiot thought it would be a good idea to place the pdf at some sucktasticly slow third-party website where you can’t download it without registering. I know. You’d probably be wiser to download the exact same pdf right here: Grand_Old_Day_2010_Event_Guide Looks like some kind of print sideways and fold it over thing. Don’t blame me, I just hack here.

And here’s list of social media hipster usuals:

• Grand Old Day on Facebook
• Grand Old Day on Twitter
• Grand Old Day on Myspace

The Sound Unseen 2010 International Film and Music Festival

This year’s Sound Unseen International simply must be seen. Five days of film and music starting today, June 2nd and runs through the 6th.

Cool bands. Cool films. Cool films about cool band. Cool films about cool bands with cool band members hanging out in the lobby, scarfing all the free beer and apps.

I fear this much coolness in Minnesota in such a short period of time might cause it to snow in June. Good thing they’re holding it in Duluth.

A search for Sound Unseen online was frustrating. At first blush you might think the website soundunseen.com has been mostly abandoned. That’s until you discover the correct website is http://soundunseenduluth.com. They also have the requisite Facebook and Twitter pages. Or you can download the program and music schedules right here:

Sound Unseen 2010 Program

Sound Unseen 2010 Film and Music Schedule

World Premiere of Low Film Experience

A hypercool event going on at this year’s Sound Unseen is the world premiere screening of an experimental film by Philip Harder. It’s a kind of documentary about the local band Low…. wait a minute. It really isn’t a documentary… Well, they seem to sum it up best as a “Low Experience”:

Low Film by Phil Harder

Since Low’s debut in 1994 Philip Harder has been shooting cinematic 16mm films for the band: a boat on frozen Lake Superior, Baron Von Raschke with red balloons, a room collapsing in slow motion around the band… Several music videos and film shorts later all Harder’s raw footage of Low, 1994 to 2010 has been re-edited into a film with original on-camera sounds. Rarities, banned clips, and unfinished Low films were unearthed. This is not a compilation, not a documentary- but it definitely documents the Low experience. Perhaps Low’s version of a musical- of sorts… June 6th, closing night of Sound Unseen Duluth, NorShor Theater will once again be turned over to cinema for the “Low Movie”: a sneak preview in Low’s hometown! Maybe you can help us find a title for the film.
Just accept that it’s going to be amazing, and you might want to take the better part of next week off from work to contemplate it after you see experience it.

7:30PM Sunday, June 6th.

SACRED HEART MUSIC CENTER
201 West 4th Street
Duluth, MN 55806-2719
(218) 723-1895

Beyond Low – The Gala After-Party of Coolness (+4)

After the show, (around 9:30) make sure to check out the gala after-party:

Following the film, please join us at the Historic Greysolon Plaza – this time downstairs in their unique Moorish Room. Festival guests will be treated to a feast for the eyes courtesy of featured director/filmmaker Philip Harder’s film/art installation, in addition to complimentary appetizers from Black Woods Catering and free Schell’s beer and drink specials all evening. Entertainment for the evening comes from a band that has helped define the Twin Cities music scene, with 10 studio releases and over 16 years under their belt, we are more than proud to announce our special musical guests of the evening: The Honeydogs.

9:30PM Sunday, June 6th.

Greysolon Moorish Room
231 East Superior Street
Duluth, MN 55802-2165

Ticket Info

Ticket info for all events is here.

For the Low film/gala event, I’m told prices are $20for Film and Gala, $15 for Gala Only, and $10 for Film Only

A Warning To Those Pure Of Heart

The program doesn’t warn you, but be careful – Gay Witch Abortion’s music KILLS angels and incapacitates those pure of heart. You just might not be evil/wicked/cool enough to listen to them. If you think you are, then you probably aren’t.

A discussion on the radio prompted the question, “Who’s on your Guilty Pleasure List?” Near as I can tell, the Guilty Pleasure List contains people you are attracted to but for some reason shouldn’t be. Or at the very least, you can’t explain why you are attracted to them.

So I expanded on the idea and came up with a handful of my own guilty pleasures; people, music, books and movies I have an irrational and undying love for. Mind you, these aren’t simply favorites. They are favorites that I can’t really justify, and don’t expect anyone else to understand, since I don’t understand them myself:

#1 – Flo, the Progressive Insurance Girl

I’m not sure if Flo IS the devil or if she simply made a deal with the devil, but I would gladly sell what’s left of my soul to knock boots with her.  I can’t explain why. I’m not saying she’s not beautiful, but there’s nothing even slightly amorous about insurance, which makes the attraction all the more incomprehensible.

Debbie Harry and Courtney Love might fight it out for second place on the list.

#2 – The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster

This is the first book I read twice. In fact the first time I finished it (on the grade school bus) I immediately started reading it again.

It surprises me that a kid’s book can be so engaging, but every time I read this book, I’m truly transported into the world of Milo and his adventures beyond the tollbooth.

That said, I don’t think it’s a masterpiece of literary genius, and I don’t think adults would find it more than just “cute” but its a story I never get tired of reading.

#3 – The Crow

Were I trapped in a theater with one movie  stuck on infinite repeat, hands down it’s The Crow, starring Brandon Lee. A dark and wonderful tale of horrific violence and revenge from beyond the grave, and the best soundtrack of any movie I know.

However, of all my favorite films, The Crow is the one I’m least likely to recommend to others. I think many would find the story too comic-bookish, and the violence and drug use could make this movie a tough sell for some.  Also, I understand that not everyone likes grunge music as much as I do.

So, were I trapped in a theater with The Crow stuck on infinite repeat, I’d be OK with having the theater to myself.

#4 – Pink Floyd’s The Final Cut

For many years I had a cassette with Pink Floyd’s “The Final Cut” on one side and Marillion’s “Misplaced Childhood” on the other. I wore that tape out. The Final Cut truly is THE final cut of the legendary Pink Floyd before Roger Waters and the band parted ways.  You can almost feel the animosity between the band members on this recording, which is strange because as I understand it, they visited the recording studio one at a time so they wouldn’t have to interact.

Regardless, the end result is something you won’t hear on the radio, and I wouldn’t try to argue its Pink Floyd’s best work. It certainly isn’t for everyone, but my Final Cut meter gets low if I don’t listen to this album occasionally.  It’s methadone for my soul.

Marillion’s albums “Brave” and “Misplaced Childhood” could substitute for The Final Cut in a pinch.

And You?

I’m trying not to imagine me and Flo on a desert island with nothing but a lot of time on our hands and The Final Cut to keep us company.

So what’s on your Guilty Pleasure List? Drop a comment below, or post to your Guilty Pleasure List to your blog and add a link back to here.

I’m not sure if I’ve cut back on linking out to other websites, or if I’ve just gotten more picky. Regardless, theoatmeal.com gets my endorsement for being one of the funniest websites I’ve ever seen. It ranks right up there with joecartoon.com Definitely worthy of the Ubercool rating here at conradzero.com.

A random sampling of awesome posts:

• 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth
• How Twilight Works
• Why I’d Rather Be Punched in the Testicles than call Customer Service

Theoatmeal.com is not only entertaining, but educational as well. Make sure to learn up on your apostrophes and semicolons.

Matthew Inman is the man behind the scenes at theoatmeal.com.  After you laugh your ass off there, make sure you buy him a cup of coffee.

Yours Darkly,
-Conrad Zero

Who would have thought it, but by day I’m a mild-mannered I.T. guy. As you can imagine, I get asked for software recommendations all the time. Free software on the internet is confusing for those who don’t constantly dabble, tinker, and have the occasional discovery of crapware that jacks their operating system.

The names of softwares give you no clue about their quality. Some of the best software is poorly named  (“Spybot Search And Destroy”? “Malwarebytes Anti-malware”? Seriously?)  and even the most trustworthy-sounding software can be corrupt. Anyone who shivers at the mention of “AntiVirus 2007″ knows what I’m talking about.  People need help determining which programs can be trusted.

Last year, I sent out an e-mail listing several free programs and services that I use often. Website services and software that I not only use and trust, but they are so good I’d consider buying the full version just to reward a job well-done. You can review the list from 2008 here, but I’ve revised the list and added some new items for the 2009 holiday season. I’ve also asked IT guru Saveau (Literally the guru’s guru) for his own wisdom in this area. With his help, I’ve compiled a list of software and services that have been tested and trusted by professionals… but most importantly, it’s all FREE.

The 2009 List of I.T. Approved FREE Website Services:

The following services require you to register a username/password. They should work for any computer that can browse the internet.

Gmail

Best. E-mail. Ever.

Google Docs

Free online alternative to Microsoft Word/Excel/PowerPoint

Picassa and Flickr

Free online picture storage and sharing.

Pandora

Internet radio that tailors itself to your listening. Thumbs up/down on each song helps the radio station learn your musical taste.

Evernote

Consider Evernote a hard drive upgrade for your brain. Store notes, webpage clips, pictures and more. Tag, sort and lookup is a breeze.

Delicious

Use delicious.com to store all your bookmarks so you’ll never lose them. Tag and sort your bookmarks. Make your bookmarks public or private. Search through others public bookmarks.

Download.com

This site redirects you to download.cnet.com which is a great source for reliable free software, you’ll find many of the recommendations here can (and should) be downloaded from download.com

The 2009 List of I.T. Approved FREE Software:

Mesh.com

Windows only. This software/service from Microsoft creates a folder on your computer that automagically synchronizes with your account on the internet. Can you say Fully Automated Backup? Can haz 5GB of storage space? Yes, you can haz. Better yet, any other computers connected to your mesh will be auto-synchronized too. Not good enough? How about this: Your data in the mesh is available on any computer running windows – just log into your online account.  Still not enough? How about this: You can remote control any of your computers currently connected to your mesh. If that isn’t good enough for you, stop reading now.

CCleaner

Formerly known as Crap Cleaner, this program cleans junk off your hard drive that even Windows “Disk Cleanup” utility won’t. Run this before doing a virus scan or hard drive defrag.

AVG AntiVirus and Avast! AntiVirus

Saveau swears by Avast! and I’ve used and recommended AVG for people who don’t want to shell out for off-the-shelf AntiVirus. I know plenty of people who use Symantec, McAffee, or ESET NOD32 AntiVirus. I don’t think it really matters so much which anti-virus program you use, but you really should have one. Only one. Do not load more than one anti-virus program unless it’s your last resort.

Spybot Search and Destroy and Malwarebytes AntiMalware and SUPERAntiSpyware

These three poorly named anti-spyware programs are designed to get rid of things your AntiVirus program never dreamed of.  Part of my standard “tune up” is to run CCleaner then  Malwarebytes AntiMalware, then the installed AntiVirus program. For more intensive cleanup download Spybot, Malwarebytes AND SuperAntiSpyware. Install and run all of them until they all come back clean. Yes, this takes a long time. Yes, I’ll be glad to do this for you. Yes, I charge by the hour.

AShampoo CD/DVD/BluRay Burning Software

Don’t upgrade this program. The updated version only works for a limited time unless you pay. The free version is what you want. Ashampoo is easy to use,  burns anything to anything, and it isn’t a background hog or “notice whore” like Nero and Roxio.

Rocketdock

Windows XP only (Vista and Mac already have this). Rocketdock adds the lovely “dock” to your desktop that Mac made famous.

LClock

For Windows XP. Significantly improves the usefulness of the Windows XP clock. Change the color and font of the clock. Change to 24-hour time. Micro-tweak position of the digits. Add in the day of the week.  Click on the clock and a calendar pops up. Imagine that! (Microsoft didn’t.)

K-Lite Mega Codec Pack

K-Lite allows your computer to play back every form of non-mechanical media known to have been in use in this sector of the galaxy.  Ever.  It will integrate with Windows Media Player, or use the included Media Player Classic, or both, and runs without issue on XP, Vista, and Windows 7.  It can even allow older, slower computers to play back some modern HD content. If you run into a media file that Windows won’t play or you get a “missing codec” error, you need this program.

TeamViewer

I’ve never used TeamViewer but I’m going to start, because it sounds like a useful utility and Saveau gives it his blessing. TeamViewer allows you to set up a remote session on any other PC with an internet connection by simply having them read off the session ID and password when they launch TeamViewer on their end.  Makes it simple to help people with computer problems from remote.

Partition Master

Partition Master is made by  Easeus, a company which makes some fine products according to Saveau.  Partition Master stands in quite nicely for the more well-known commercial product Partition Magic.

Disc Copy and Clonezilla

Disc Copy is another Easeus product endorsed by Saveau, and I can vouch for Clonezilla. Both programs are free knockoffs of the popular Norton Ghost and Acronis True Image – They allow the user to make a complete duplicate of their hard drive. Operating system, installed programs and all. Disc Copy has a limitation of copying only to a drive of equal or greater size – but since most people will be doing precisely this, it shouldn’t pose a problem.  Clonezilla is a linux based copy program using a command line interface and is awkward to use but very flexible, allowing you to clone to and from pretty much anything. Clonezilla is the only disc cloning utility I’ve found that will clone drives with a bootable Linux OS installed.

Feel free to pass this list on to others. If I missed anything, feel free to post in the comments.

-Zero

Its kind of like pointing out that Water = Wet, but in a sea of singer-songwriters, Suzanne Vega is the best by far. There’s very very few people on this planet who deserve to be called a ‘musical genius’, and fewer still who would dare to make a stop here in Minneapolis, but Suzanne Vega is coming to town next week for 3 shows at the Dakota Jazz Club and Restaurant.  Aug 24 through the 26th.

Here are some video clips from a recent live show. At the very least listen to song #1 Gypsy and you will understand why when I die, I want to come back as Suzanne Vega, just to experience how her brain works.

-Zero

It isn’t supposed to happen like this, or so I’m told.

Back in Mar 2009, I tripped across a call for submissions to an anthology titled The Blackness Within.

The idea sounded refreshing and I needed a break from The Demonslayer’s Handbook. So, I took a week off to write up almost 5000 words, and sent it off, thinking no more about it than the fact that I should clear a virtual place for the rejection e-mail I was sure to receive.

On 2 May 2009, I discovered that I’d made the “Short List” whatever that means, and on 5 June I received the following e-mail:

‘Big Game’ is a great story, fast paced and quite different…I’d love to accept the story for inclusion in ‘The Blackness Within’.

Like I said, it’s not supposed to happen this way. The first story I’ve shown outside my circle of friends and relatives, written in a fit of spontaneity… not to mention my first submission ever… accepted?

The princely sum of 15 Pounds is probably enough to buy myself a copy of the book when it comes out, with enough left over for a lovely cuban cigar to smoke while I read it. But the real prize is that I will forevermore be able to say that Conrad Zero is a published author. (And I just might refer to myself in third person when I do it. Adds to the importance, don’t you think?)

So now, with a 100% acceptance rate, I’m terrified to ever make another submission. Don’t want to tarnish that perfect record, eh?

Meanwhile, The Blackness Within anthology should be out later this year by Apex Book Company.

Stunned,

-Zero