There’s two distinct advantages to waiting a few years after a game’s release before you pick it up:

• The price will be low
• The system requirements will be laughable. (Unless you never upgrade your computer)

Case in point is Bioware’s Jade Empire released in 2005. Fate laid a copy of Jade Empire in my path for a measily two dollars (plus tax)  Hey, I’m only human right? Some would argue that statement, since I put in 29 Hours and 31 minutes over a 4-day marathon of gameplay and finished the game.  Somehow I also managed to work my full-time job. There was time in there for bathroom breaks and caffeine power-ups, but no sleeping that I remember.

Those who played Neverwinter Nights will recognize the game engine and controls, although much has been simplified and streamlined for your pleasure. Combat is reduced to three options: Attack, Block, and Power Attack. These function in a Rock-Paper-Scissors format:

• Block avoids Attack
• Attack cancels Power Attack
• Power Attack beats Block

There’s also Chi, a spiritual ability which can be used for healing and applied to some attacks to make them more powerful. You also have Focus, which slows down time and allows you to move faster than your enemies.  Focus and Chi aren’t unlimited, and should be used sparingly during combat.

The Good

The real beauty of this game lies in its simplicity. For example, there’s very little inventory to manage. No armor. No potions. No weapons. You have a list of fighting styles that you’ve learned. If you learn a dual-sword technique, you have dual swords. No encumbrance, no shuffling equipment onto and off from pack mules. No running into town to sell off a bunch of stuff to make room for more stuff. You do have some magic gems that augment your abilities, and some ‘plot items’ which are simply keys to finishing certain tasks, but there’s nothing to be replenished or reloaded except your Mind, Body and Spirit.

Despite some yawnable cliche’s (see below) the story was top notch. Definitely not a writer’s strike going on when this game was made. Interesting, funny and lovable characters, who had some believable interactions and entertaining conversations. Throughout the game I could turn to Henpecked Hau for a lengthy and entertaining conversation. A turning point in the story comes when you finally confront the Emperor himself - what happens is something you will *never* see coming.

The Role Playing was the best I’ve seen in a game. Lots of discussions, and dialog options, and choices of how to specifically phrase your replies. For example, you might get the following four different ways to say “Yes”:

• Yes, your most worshipful Emperorness.
• Yes.
• For Gods sakes, Yes! Now quit asking me stupid questions!
• [Charm] Oh yeah you big stallion!

This much dialog might be a turn-off for those who just want things to Line Up And Die, but I thought it was fun. It really let me get into my character’s motivations and let me mold my character into what I wanted. More specifically a Cold-Blooded-Yet-Smoking-Hot-Asian-Female-Assassin. Duh.

The game world is ”based on” China.  The alternate language that occurs in the game is called Tho Fan, created specifically for the game by Canadian linguist Wolf Wikeley.

If it looks like China and it sounds like China… Fine, I’ll say it, the game takes place in China. Regardless, it is steeped in Eastern Philosophy, which gives it some great quotes. Here are some of the more memorable ones:

• The Wheel of Life must turn!
• Ask not where the path leads. Instead ask why the path is there.
• If we aren’t drinking we should be fighting.

The Bad

I had to turn the music down. Yeah, it fits the mood and all, but I need to be able to hear if a 20-foot tall stone golem is trying to sneak up on me.

The plot was good despite the cliche’s, but they were there. Ever play a game where you die and have to fight your way out of the underworld?  Yeah, me too. Ever played a game where you are forced to fight a copy of your own character? Yeah, it’s probably the first module every D&D GameMaster thinks up. Ever hear the plot, ‘Local peasant rises up to defeat the evil draconian overlord?’ You can check, but I think that might have been done already.

The game engine had a couple minor quirks. I got used to the limitations of the camera quickly. There is a very limited range of up/down motion with the camera, and no way to zoom the camera in or out. That said, the camera was positioned ‘just right’ for most of the game. Mostly. I did run into several places where the camera got stuck pointing straight down about a foot off the ground. Not very useful. I had to watch the map in the corner of the screen and move to a section with some stairs, and that would jar the camera back to the correct position.

Jade Empire takes the “I” out of AI.  Even on ‘Master’ and ‘Jade Master’ difficulty settings, the bad guys didn’t seem to have any attacking style. They seem to perform a randomized combination of Block/Attack/Power Attack. Enemies you aren’t directly targeting don’t go out of their way to hit you, like they want to wait their turn for your full attention or something.

The Upshot

Jade Empire is a fun console-ported-to-PC game, with an interesting blend of Hack-N-Slash mixed with Role Playing, all steeped in an Alternate Eastern Mythology. Simplified combat and no inventory put the focus back on gameplay where it belongs.

The Twitter Review

Just completed *Jade Empire* 29hrs 31min total, I kicked that game’s ass in 4 days! What an awesome game! It was like being in a movie!

I was just a kid during the 80′s, but I remember the ever-present threat of Global Thermonuclear War. The Government “Star Wars” programs. Books about how to create a fallout shelter in your backyard. The “Tornado” drills in school, that we all knew weren’t just for tornadoes.

So while movies like “War Games” and “Red Dawn” are period pieces that hold a certain charm for me, I have to admit they won’t work for everyone. The same goes for Warner Bros new release: The Watchmen. The story is an alternate history, dated in the 80′s. (The Watchmen was released in 86-87) The “alternate” part is that superheros rise to power and help America to win The Vietnam War. President Richard Nixon is elected for a third term, and a comedian is killed in New York…

The Good

The movie intro is great, and I appreciated the quick overview of the alternate history of how the Watchmen came to be, and then came to Not be. (All backed by Bob Dylan’s ‘The Times They are A Changin.’)

While the movie’s alternative time period didn’t seem as surreal as the real 80′s were, it was very distinct, and gave the movie an other-worldly feel. More than one person mentioned a feeling reminiscent of Blade Runner.

The heroes were fallible, to a fault. The good and bad are not clear-cut, and I love that. Too many years of Disney handing us Good and Evil on clearly-labeled trays so we know who to like and who to hate; you won’t find that in the Watchmen. The characters Rorschach (Played by Jackie Earle Haley) and the Comedian (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan) are as deep and as real as any superheros I’ve ever seen on the big screen.

Disjointedness aside, the plot was great.  Big.  Great Big. Earth-shatteringly earth shattering. Once it gets rolling, its a Juggernaut, and it isn’t boring. The mythos of the Watchmen was well thought out, and it shows.

The Bad

The first third of the movie is a mystery. The mystery is, “What the hell is this movie about?”  The movie’s dyslexic buildup made me wonder if it was a political drama, superhero saga, mystery, or soap opera. The movie didn’t try too hard to pander to those unfamiliar with the mythos, the philosophy was, “Start the movie and the audience will catch up eventually!”

The music was trying too hard. Way too hard. I never thought I’d say this because I’ve said the opposite so many times but here is a movie that would have benefited by replacing some of the songs with musical score. I guess they couldn’t get Danny Elfman so they bought up the rights to every song played in the 80′s except “Don’t Fear the Reaper” by Blue Oyster Cult. And they might have played that one while I was in the bathroom.

And if I *never* hear the accursed song “Hallelujah” again, it will be too soon. I don’t know who decided to include this song, much less why they thought it might work over a sex scene, but people in the theatre were laughing, myself included.

And if I *never* **ever** see an uncircumcised blue penis again, it will be too soon.

The Twitter Review

#MovieReview The Watchmen is good. A great character study, even if you don’t like superheros. Soundtrack tries too hard. The 80s were cool

Prediction

I’m predicting that the 80′s gigantic earrings, neon pastel colors, and Nagel prints will make a comeback because of this film.

Happy Fucking New Year. Did 2008 suck? It certainly tried.

Jagged Spiral

Jagged Spiral’s long-awaited CD release of “Days From Evil” came and went, and was definitely the highlight of my year. A handful of media reviews, ranging from “needs improvement” up to “gave me the piss-myself nightmares” were exciting to read over and over again. Yeah, even the “needs improvement” one. Being important enough to dislike still makes you feel important. Famous or Infamous? Hell, I’ll take both.

I was hoping the CD release party (at Club Underground on 11 July 2008) would be the start of an exciting summer of booking shows, networking with bands/venues/fans, promoting the album and generating excitement for our new material. Instead, I was informed that it’s “all about the music,” and little more. That pretty much moved us back to the studio; writing and recording. Scratch that, I guess we just write now. That’s our comfort zone, “a sin that we’re good at” if I can plagiarize my own work.

You can read more about what the band is up to at www.jaggedspiral.com.

The Demonslayer’s Handbook

The second half of 2008, I shifted most of my free time away from the band and onto “The Demonslayer’s Handbook“  I did a lot of research and tried to get my mind around the traditional-publishing vs self-publishing processes. The manuscript is done, and my faithful beta-reader-fan-club have devoured the text and reported back plenty of useful criticism. Finding a professional editor is my first primary objective of 2009.

Sometime this year, I’ll be updating the website theme, because I unroll like that. Something dark, urban… not entirely sure yet, but no shiny floor, and probably not Web 2.0. I’ll also be putting together a newsletter and mailing list, and I’ve got some other interesting promotional ideas…

Minneapolis Local Music

On the local music front, Mark Mallman is a tough act to top. I saw him at the Varsity for New Year’s.  The man is insane. I hear local hip-hop duo Atmosphere got voted “Band of the Year”, for their album, When life hands you lemons, you paint that shit gold” which really should win based on the title alone.

CwnAnnwn (pronounced Coon-ah-noon) is an up-and-coming symphonic metal band, keep an eye on them.

Those interested in the Minneapolis local music scene should check out The Best New Bands of 2008 at First Ave on Jan 14th.

National Music

Nine Inch Nails new album was mediocre at best, so much so that I ended up skipping the “Lights in the Sky” tour, and it wasn’t till afterward that I heard it was one of the most spectacular and technically challenging concerts performed (seconded only by Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” tour). That’ll teach me to pass on NIN!.

Metallica went ‘back to their roots’, admitting that their last handful of albums sucked. And ‘Death Magnetic’ simply proves what we’ve known all along; they can’t play like they used to. And while the world gave Metallica no sympathy for the album’s poor production value, I thought the music sucked far worse than the production. Between mp3s, radio stations like 93X, and bands like Jagged Spiral, I put up with overcompression all the time, but I’ve always said I’d rather listen to a good song at poor quality than a poor song at good quality. I stole “Death Magnetic” and it wasn’t even worth free. I’ve decided that the Real Metallica died in a plane crash after making “The Black Album”.

Guns-N-Roses meanwhile (if we can still call the band that) ran quite far from their roots, and by contractual obligation released “Chinese Democracy” an album which proves that 13 years and 13 Million can’t make crappy songs any better. As overproduced as a Brittney Spears album, “Chinese Democracy” lacks the Slash-guitar-hero-hookiness that made G-n-R so great. Sorry Axl, its been great, but I think GNR died in that plane crash with Metallica…

Meanwhile, AC/DC released “Black Ice”, the exact same album they’ve released for years, and are playing sold out shows. The band still refuses to sell it’s music on i-tunes. Axl and Metallica could take a lesson here (if they were still alive, that is.)

Video Games

Its a close tie between “Dead Space” and “Fallout 3″ for my Game of the Year. I just finished Dead Space and it kicks undead-outer-space-horror-sci-fi-ass. I just started Fallout 3, and while it looks like an amazing game overall, Dead Space is the winner for mood, atmosphere and storyline.

Spore was disappointing. Portal was fun, and just long enough, but more of a diversion or a mini-game. I’ve just loaded up Left 4 Dead, and plan to fight the undead hordes with some friends next weekend.

What’s up with Guitar Hero, Rock Band and all the music games? Is real music popular again? I like it. Don’t forget that Real Music comes from guitars, not record-scratchers.

Movies

I’ve found very few movies to rave about in 2008. Batman trumped Indy by far, and I bet I’m not alone in believing that the Indiana Jones franchise should have been left with our hero riding off into the sunset.

Anyway

I’m glad that’s over with. Let’s move along, nothing to see here…

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

After reading one too many technical books, I had to shift back into a bit of fictional fun, and Megan Chance’s latest work The Spiritualist caught my attention. According to her website, The Spiritualist is…

…a tale of murder and intrigue, class and the occult, as one woman’s desperate search for a killer reveals that truth may be the greatest illusion of all…

More specifically, The Spiritualist is a murder-mystery set in the 1800′s, involving the heroine, Evie, who married into high-society. When Evie’s husband disappears after a visit to a ‘spirit circle’, Evie is sucked into an intricate web of deceit between the elite social circles, her own family and an occult group led by a charismatic medium. It’s a story of high-society, table-rapping spirits, charismatic charlatans, and romance.

Alright, so it isn’t something I’d typically read. There weren’t any ninjas or explosions in it. All the more reason you should be shocked and amazed at my assessment: Megan Chance is a *fantastic* writer, and ‘The Spiritualist’ is a great book.

The Good

Megan Chance writes believable characters. Even though the characters are mostly upper class set in 1800′s New York  I really believed in them. Their actions, reactions and motivations were understandable, if not forgivable. I never felt like I was watching ‘The English Patient’ where suspension of disbelief was pushed beyond superhuman limits.

The storyline was tight and linear, with few wasted pages. The plot pulls you in, and doesn’t disappoint, keeping and a sure-and-steady pace. And just the right amount of intrigue, to keep you reading past your bedtime.

Another great thing about the book was the cover, and the lack of half-naked people embracing thereon. Let’s be honest, that doesn’t even belong on the covers of trashy romance novels. DISCLAIMER: The story has romance in it, and Megan Chance won the Romance Writers of America’s RITA award for excellence in Romantic Fiction. But don’t hold that against her, or this story. The romance was tastefully done.

But the best part of the book is the writing. The sentences simply flowed, and made me realize how much my own writing sounds like a hastily translated ‘Dick and Jane’ book. Megan paints smooth, silky pictures of the 1800s in your head with her words.

The Bad

There weren’t any ninjas or explosions. Yeah, that’s about it.

I e-mailed Megan and she replied, “Next book, more ninjas and explosions… Got it.”

What can I say? I’m here to help.

The Upshot

‘The Spiritualist’ is a treat for anyone wanting an escape to a well-constructed, well-written, 1800s romantic-occult-murder-mystery.

• Megan Chance’s website
• ‘The Spiritualist’ on Amazon.com

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Demons by John Shirley is actually two half-stories under the same cover. There is a 9-year jump between the stories, but it’s not a problem. They both sport the same feel, mythos, and primary characters.

The Setup

Both stories in Demons have a ‘near futuristic’ feel. In the first story, several species of demons appear on Earth and attack humans, killing them off in very unpleasant ways. The seven different clans of demons might correlate to the “Seven Deadly sins,” but this was never confirmed in the book.

In the second half, corporate research into ‘psychonomics’ coupled with the research of a new pesticide are about to open the door for the Demons to re-enter the world.

The Good

Really good writing.  good turns of phrase and wonderful analogies. The first book is gritty, and well-paced. Mr Shirley uses an interesting hybrid of first-person/direct-objective that I really enjoyed, taking me into the subject’s head when appropriate, but stepping out for the remainder to make the story ‘bigger’. The Demons are truly monstrous; their actions are truly horrific, and each clan of demon is distinct from the others.

The Bad

Word choices are sometimes ostentatious. [Editor's Note: And *that* observation isn't?] Keep a thesaurus nearby. The first story merely hints at the ‘industry==evil’ theme, but the second book will make you choke on it. In fact, the second book isn’t so much about Demons as it is about how chemical research and third world countries are Evil, and self-awareness is Good. The demons play such a small part in the second book that all references to them could be removed without significantly changing the story.

The Short Version

A pair of sly, well-written stories about how industries, corporations, and third world countries are evil. And Demons.

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Without a doubt, the music industry is a-changin. Musicians are able to manage their own marketing, promotion and distribution to the entire internet-connected planet. CDs haven’t even completely died yet and the IPOD is already obsolete. It’s anyone’s guess where this is all going, and Gerd Leonhard is brave enough to make his guess public.

Gerd Leonhard just released a collection of his own blog postings and papers in a FREE e-book called Music2.0. In it, Mr Leonhard made predictions about how the music industry was going to mutate once mixed with the new technologies. You can get the book here.

I’m about a quarter of the way through Music 2.0, and it’s a really interesting read. I’d say it is essential reading for people in the music business; especially for independent artists. Really Especially for Older Independent Artists who grew up with music being something you bought at Target on a cassette tape and listened to in a Sony Walkman. The paradigm shift is equal parts traumatic and exciting.

It’s interesting to see what Mr Leonhard predicted correctly. One thing he points out is something I’ve ranted about for years; the changeover of music from a product to a service. The music subscription service I’ve bitched about for years is finally available thanks to the Verizon/Rhapsody merger, but he predicted this years before I did.

I’m excited to read his current predictions and imagine what things will be like if he is correct when Music 3.0 comes out…

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

If you live in the Minneapolis / St. Paul area, there’s a handful of names you outta know, even if you aren’t involved with the local music scene. Mark Mallman is one of them.

Imagine you are at a great show, and the band reaches the crescendo at the end of the night; the penultimate build-up to the penultimate climax, and you swear the energy being conjured is so intense that even the walls of First Avenue couldn’t possibly contain it…

…That’s how Mark Mallman starts the show, and the energy goes up from there.

Make sure to check out his Wikipedia entry. to find out about the Marathon 26.2 Hour and 52.4 Hour SONGS he did. And if you ask me, he was robbed for not getting into the Guinness Book of World Records for the “Longest Pop Song”. Trust me though, Mark is able to take that 52.4 hours of energy and squish it all into a half hour show.

The shows are part musical live performance and part…something else. Ever seen someone ride their keyboard like a horse, twirling a microphone cord over his head like a lasso? Ever seen a keyboardist sneak up on his keyboard using a chair to fend off it’s attacks while he plugs it in? Ever see a keyboardist hold his keyboard out to the bass player so she can kick it to make some improv musical effects?

If you haven’t, then you haven’t seen Mark Mallman live. And you really should.

Musically, Mark Mallman mixes Pop Rocks with Orange Fanta and shakes the hell out of it. In other words, a sweet, sticky colorful mess that will haunt you for days. But check it out yourself: you can hear his latest work Between the Devil and Middle C on his website http://www.mallman.com/, (check out his blog while you’re there…) and you can buy it directly from the (Mall)man himself: http://www.tradebit.com/download.php/826791.

But enough of my caterwauling, you can here the Mallman ramble about himself right here:

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

On a recent book-scouting adventure in Minneapolis, I spoke with Roger over at Magus Books, and asked him if he knew of any books similar to my “Demonslayer’s Handbook” – a paranormal adventure set in modern-day Minneapolis. He highly suggested Emma Bull’s “War for the Oaks“. (Careful, the Wikipedia entry is laden with spoilers.)

I is considered to be the very first book to define the Urban Fantasy genre.

Emma Bull writes in the introduction of War for the Oaks that she doesn’t read author’s introductions until after she’s finished the book. After reading her own introduction, I would agree. I wish I hadn’t read her introduction before reading the story. Sadly, I cannot tell you why without spoiling the book for you. You can choose whether or not to learn from my mistake, but in the future I think I’m taking Emma’s advice.

War for the Oaks is deeply steeped in Minneapolis, Music, and 80s Fashion. Emma Bull’s taste in music is great, she constantly drops band names and song references throughout the story. Same with locations; you won’t forget the story takes place here in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul. The story bounces around to some of the best locations in town.

Fashions that might be laughable today are considered quite stylish for the 80′s, when the story takes place, and Emma nails them perfectly. Jean jackets with turned-up collars and high-tops? Yikes. Been there, worn that, stole back the pix and burned them.

The third-person POV story revolves around the main character, Eddi McCandry. Eddi is chosen as a magical savior in an upcoming war and assigned a Faerie bodyguard. In the first half of the book, the “War” is only a minor backdrop; shadowed by the relationships and band drama surrounding Eddi. She resigns herself to her fate as the Chosen One, and goes about constructing a new band amidst shifting relationships, and coming to terms with the bodyguard who won’t leave her side. The second half of the story gets more involved with the actual war, some of which spills into the real world, and climaxes with a classic duel of Good Vs Evil at First Avenue!

Emma Bull does a great job of making the other-world characters feel other-worldly. Their method of speech feels Victorian, and their manners and customs are notably different than that of humans.

As far as *research* goes, it was enlightening to see how another author approaches shifting between different realities, and descriptions of Minneapolis areas. Her writings on band politics and music technology are accurate, which makes sense, since Emma Bull was in a local band or two.

As far as *entertainment* goes, War for the Oaks is a good story for those who want a Disney faerie tale crossed with 1980′s Minneapolis urban fantasy.

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

An impossibly amazing set of performances by the female-fronted bands attending the second Flight of the Valkyries show at Station-4.

It seems that every time there’s an event at Station 4, I get to the event late. The only exception was the Jagged Spiral show a couple months ago, which is a good thing, because I was in it. Here, I thought the event started at 6PM, but it actually started at 3PM, and so I managed to miss Aria Sharp, Something to Fear, Earthen and Dendura. My loss.

However, I did get to meet Nathan Block, also known as ‘The SwordLord’ and the promoter of much of the harder edged music that comes to town. It was an honor to meet him and shake his hand. There was enough free stuff handed out by the bands that the $20 cover was well worth the price. I only wish I had gotten there sooner. Station 4 is a great venue for gigs like this, the only thing better would have been an outdoor show with awesome weather! Maybe next year???

Here are the bands from FotV I did get to experience:

Visideon

Visideon played the First FotV in 2007, and were invited back for this year’s show. They’re a great band, definitely worth hearing, I especially liked the vocals. Many metal bands (especially female-fronted ones) push vocals down into dog-barking obscurity or up into piercingly high-pitched screams, both of these techniques are spices to me, best used sparingly, and Visideon understand that. They call their music, “Classical Chording meets Heavy Guitar”, add in some Angelic singing and synth-playing and you’ve got Visideon. Keep an eye on this band, and get out to see them while you can, they might not remain local for long!

Benedictum

The highlight of the evening, Benedictum (San Diego, CA) really stole the show for me. Their power and energy were set to ‘Uber’ and their lead singer, Victoria Freeman channelled and focused all of it. She really pulled the audience into the show, running into the crowd, even taking her wireless mic to the other side of Station 4 to make people watching from the “safe seats” feel like they were in the front row! And any band that can pull off a cover of Accept’s ‘Balls to the Wall’? Wow, these guys are really amazing!

Shadowside

South American Female Fronted Power Metal? Hell yeah! Shadowside was astonishing and beautiful onstage. Check out their myspace page to hear a band that pushes all the power, energy, and intensity of Iron Maiden into their music.

Unexpect

This year’s headliner was Unexpect, a seven-piece band from Montreal. Now lots of bands use the term ‘progressive’ in their band descriptions, and I’ve pretty much crossed that word out of my dictionary, since it’s been misused into meaninglessness. Everybody who writes a song with a bridge or a time-change in it calls themselves ‘progressive’. But I might have to pull that word back out, because Unexpect is really, truly avant-garde. The SwordLord had this to say about them:

“Think Cirque de Soleil goes black metal amidst an acid-trip version of The Dark Crystal”

I can’t think of a better description. The nine-string bass guitar was a trip! I have to admit, their music was a bit over the top for me, chaotic and hard to get ahold of, the same way I feel about ‘System of a Down’. Each member of the band is hyper-talented, but I think they are trying too hard to be different. For me, it was like listening to three bands at the same time, but check out their myspace and hear for yourself.

All in all a great festival, Minnesota is lucky to have an event like this here, and The SwordLord enjoys pointing out that it is the ONLY festival of this kind in the United States! Hopefully he will bring it back again, and it will grow in popularity.

Art Is Resistance
-Zero