[Editor's Note: There's a handful of micro-spoilers in here, but nothing that will keep you from enjoying the game.]

I’ve waxed philosophic before about breaking out of my assassin RPG niche. In the video game Oblivion, I played a  hyper-testostrinated human male fighter carrying the largest and longest weapon I could lift. In Jade Empire, I chose a female magic user. Throughout the Original Neverwinter Nights Trilogy (Neverwinter Nights / Shadows of Undrentide / Hordes of the Underdark) my avatar was a tricksy, elvish Shadowdancer.

Neverwinter Nights 2 (NWN2 for short) gave me a new option for avatar diversity.

It was 30 Dec 2007. The game installer chugged away as I read the back of the game box for the upteenth time. Bright letters across the box declared, “Everything you do has a meaning”. Other games have offered options for playing evil characters, but NWN2 seemed to go a step further, almost daring players to test the boundaries of morality. After all, the game designers had taken the time to plot out the repercussions of all your actions in the game. My Inner Philosopher pitched a denim pup-tent as he thought about turning the reins over to my Inner Evil Draconian Overlord.

Evil it is then. For while I’d played a diverse series of characters in the past, I’d always been on the Good side. The obviously-we-have-to-kill-the-shadowlord-because-he-wears-black-and-has-a-deep-voice side. What if I wanted to kill the shadowlord just so I could take his place? What would it be like to be the new evil on the block?

Pyro Firespawn and Posse. Yeah, We Bad

I decided to find out.

And so Pyro Firespawn was born. Don’t laugh. He’s a Chaotic Evil Tiefling. Tieflings are humans tainted with blood of a demonic heritage.  He’s got horns and a tail. He likes to burn things. He’s also a cleric, so he can kill people, raise them from the dead, and then kill them again. (That’s why I told you not to laugh.)

Xtna helped with the aesthetic creation of Pyro. He’s my first avatar to have any resemblance to my physical self. At least, as near as the game engine would allow us to create. Do you want to date my avatar?

The Difficulty of Evil

So I set out on my Evil Epic Adventure. It wasn’t as simple as it sounds. Right away, I discovered difficulties being evil. If I simply slay everyone who got between myself and what I wanted (merchants, for example) I’d have no one to back me up and the game would end with me in prison. That wouldn’t be a long game, and it wouldn’t be a satisfactory ending.

Evil Lesson #1 – Evil requires Power and/or Stealth. Pretty much all the sins require you to be stronger, faster or sneakier than someone else. When you’re a Level One Pissboy, you ain’t pushing anyone around. Therefore, I shied away from being what I called Stupid Evil. I had to keep my eyes on the big prize. Intelligent Evil is far more evil, don’t you think?

Evil Lesson #2 – Evil Looks Good. I often found myself weighing off which side of the fight would help me more in my evil goals. Should I be nice to this person because they might join my party or give me information? Should I kill the dragon and save the townsfolk, if that is the only way to get them to tell me where the uber-important evil magic sword could be found? Signs point to yes.

Evil Lesson #2 “The Enemy Of My Enemy Is My Friend” One thing was always certain. I was literally hell-bent on defeating the King of Shadows, because he was coming to destroy everything.  In fact, some of my companions were happy to stand alongside me in battle although they did not agree with my alignment for the same reason – because the Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend.

I was so Good at Looking Good and being Evil, I could have run for the Republican Party.

Evil Lesson #4 – Evil Loves Company. Did Hitler have any friends? Probably more like “associates” or “companions”, which were another aspect to consider in NWN2. They have alignments too, and if I upset their more…delicate sensibilities, they could leave or worse, turn on me at a crucial moment. There’s no pleasing everyone, and some of my companions did leave me because of my choices. Others flat-out defected to the other team. (…and died some pretty spectacular deaths because of it. Seems their actions had repercussions too.) So, in order to keep the allegiance of my followers, I had to avoid certain evil tasks that I wanted to do. In order to increase their loyalty, I had to help them perform some good tasks I didn’t really want to do. Basically picking my battles and weighing off short term Goodness for Long-Term, Big-Picture Evil.

Halfway through the game, I had worked my evil system perfected. I was truly evil in (seemingly) unimportant interactions and lied and backstabbed when appropriate to further my larger objectives. On the surface I was just a Regular Guy who looked like he was following the rules. In this respect, I became less Chaotic Evil and more Lawful Evil. I was so Good at Looking Good and Being Evil, I could have run for the Republican Party.

Or so I thought.

Fate and/or the game designers were a step ahead here, because it wasn’t long before I was placed on trial for a crime I did not commit. I thought I had little to worry about… until they began to call in Character Witnesses.

Let’s put it this way – it was a long trial.

That aside, my philosophy of Evil-When-It-Matters worked well. I gained a lot of trust and respect with my companions, the Thieves Guild, and with good King Nasher himself. Eventually I was granted my own keep and knighted. I had a party of very powerful followers, some of whom could beat Mother Teresa on the Goodness Meter.

Then the time came, and I took my party of followers deep into the enemy’s domain to confront the Shadow-Lord himself.

Denouement – Evil is Good

Sunday November 15, 2009 I reached the ending of Neverwinter Nights 2. The inner sanctum of the Shadow Lord’s stronghold. Because of my evil affiliation, I was offered the opportunity to leave my companions and join with the Shadow Lord.  I saved the game and played out both possible endings. [Note: You might get the same opportunity for the alternate ending if you play a good character, but since I didn't do this, I can't be sure.]

I have to say, the evil ending was easier and more satisfying, but it was more because of the way the actual endings were written – something which has raised concern with more than one person who played through NWN2. If you’re interested in reading more about the NWN2 endings, check out this review by aeon (warning: spoilers) which does a good job of summing up the disappointing ending for good characters.

Was it Fun Being Evil?

It was certainly a lot more work. Often, I had to try and guess what the game designers meant to be Evil choices in the game. The ambiguous wording of my question-response options made me think, “Is that an evil thing to say?” The Good responses were mostly obvious, so it probably would have been easier to play a Good character.

Some of the evilness was fun. Double-crossing a dragon? Wow. Fun and rewarding. Happily throwing out promises you have no intention to keep was more of a relief than actual ‘fun’. Killing people who thought they could trust you, that was a tough one.

In short, being evil towards evil beings was wicked fun. Being evil towards good people wasn’t easy. Being evil towards helpless people brought me no joy at all.

Beyond Evil

With NWN2 behind me, I’m just in time for the next big thing… Dragon Age: Origins. Apparently, they’ve tried even harder to blur the line between good and evil.

Dragon Age: Originsis on my Christmas list. So expect a review when I finish it…two years from now…

-Z

Wait, let me rephrase that.

…those who like ACTION-ADVENTURE!

Damn, there’s more bullets in this book than a whole week’s worth of Minneapolis nightlife!

Story Premise for “Pulse”

A genetic research company is trying to perfect the process of human regeneration. They have experimented on test subjects who are able to regenerate at an amazing rate (Think the X-men’s “Wolverine” on speed) but there’s a problem. The more they regenerate, the more their mind devolves into a crazed state. They become maniacal and enraged, with an insatiable hunger.

When the research company discovers an ancient artifact and a scientist that might unlock the key to regeneration, it’s up to the ‘Chess Team’ (Code Names: King, Queen, Rook, Bishop, and Knight) to infiltrate this organization and stop their horrific experiments and recover their friend before its too late. But how to you destroy a creature that heals instantly and gets more and more insane and angry as it takes more damage?

Things go from bad to worse when an huge, ancient monster is awakened that not only has regenerative abilities and a hunger for human flesh, but also has multiple heads!

The Good

Fight scenes were well-done. It’s easy to write too much description into fights, which distracts from the story, but I think Jeremy Robinson nails it. He focuses on the heart of the fight, and I definitely learned some style tips to implement in writing my own fight scenes.

The characters were very memorable. The code names helped me remember our main character friends and each member of the Chess Team had the kind of personality you might expect of their respective chess pieces.

Good use of technology. Jeremy Robinson credits several people as sources for his military and genetic terms and descriptions. This gives the book a real feel to it; a grounding in reality (despite my frustration of weapon descriptions under Not-So-Good, see below). Wicked cool tech, from the stealth plane HALO jumps to the  Metal Storm weapons with three barrels, which throw three rounds per trigger pull.

Pulse has great pacing. The chapters are short and Jeremy Robinson knows how to use chapter breaks to build tension, which makes for a real page-turner. He knows how to keep the pace moving and not let things drag. Despite multiple characters experiencing multiple pieces of the story simultaneously all over the world, the plotline is simple and easy to follow. You won’t get lost, and you definitely won’t be bored.

Part of the quick pacing comes from the author’s use of narrative description to cover lots of storyline in a short time. It was well done; the equivalent of scanning FF through the boring parts of a movie.

Speaking of movies, Pulse would make a great movie. In fact, changing the Chess Team over to the cast from the recent movie G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra would not be a stretch.

The Not-So-Good

A touch of eye-rolling prose here and there, although this is not uncommon in military shooters. Descriptions of death sure to get a giggle out of the most stoic reader. (Campbell’s Chunky Soup?)

Lots of product placement. I hope Jeremy was paid for the product endorsements to Chevy, Metal Storm (and Campbell’s? LOL). I’ve been discussing the possibilities of paid product placement and in-book advertisement with other authors, and have yet to hear Jeremy Robinson’s take on it. If he was paid, then God bless, but it would be a first.

I felt there was a touch too much of the military weapon descriptions. I don’t really need to know the rate of fire of each weapon used, country of origin, or even its model name. “Pistol”, “SMG”, “Rifle”, “Grenade Launcher” – these are all definitive enough terms for me – add in the other details during mission briefings if you must, but not during a fight. This might not bother other readers, but I personally find it distracting to read something like, “…approached his target and drew his Chrome-Plated Colt Anaconda .44 Revolver with a mounted laser sight, custom pearl grips and mounted M203 Grenade Launcher, capable of turning an entire school of hammerhead sharks into tiny bits of cooked sushi…” as opposed to “…drew his .44 revolver…” and let the weapon show us what it can do through the story instead of telling us about it.

But these are all minor quibbles and none of these things ruined the story for me.

The Upshot

Pulse by Jeremy Robinson is a real page-turner, stuffed full of fast-paced military action, monsters, archeology/mythology and well-written fight scenes.

I enjoyed Pulse enough that I’ll be looking for the next installment. In the meantime, I’ll probably give his deep-sea thriller, Kronos a try.

Ripped

The entire book plays out like a game between the Musicians who want to get their music out, the Fans who want to get the music, the Internet that makes it possible, and THE RIAA who simply doesn’t get it, and fights tooth-and-nail against the whole process of internet file sharing.

Summary:

“Ripped” presents the first definitive account of the digital music revolution, which changed the way music fans have sought and acquired music and led to the end of the recording industry as we know it. In the mid-1990s, advances in Internet and digital technology made it easy for fans to store, play, and share music, and leveled the playing field between better-marketed major-label bands and smaller independent artists who communicated directly with their audience. Instead of embracing these new possibilities, the music industry turned their customers into criminals with lawsuits, even as on-line music sharing exploded. With firsthand access to artists such as Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails, Metallica, Death Cab for Cutie and Arcade Fire, “Ripped” chronicles the industry’s decline and the rise of a worldwide grassroots community that transformed music.

Source: http://www.gregkot.com/ripped.html

The Good:

There’s some great information here on how the music industry works, and especially how it does Not work.  Payola is explained in layman’s terms, with some dollars thrown in so you can understand the scope of the problem. You also get to read about Clear Channel’s involvement with band tours and ticket sales. The RIAA keeps showing up like Jason in a Friday the 13th movie, rearing it’s ugly head to cause problems just when you think things are going well.

I’d never heard the full story of Metallica’s legal dispute with Napster back in 2000, and I found that chapter very interesting. I wondered how a band so big could do something so absolutely guaranteed stupid as to sue their own fans for sharing their music, especially when they got to be famous because of file sharing (via mix tape trading) in the first place. According to the quotes in “Ripped”,  Metallica played it like they didn’t really understand the interwebs or what they were doing. I don’t blame them, since claiming stupidity is better than admitting they are evil, but everyone knows what they did, especially their audience, and they don’t have short memories. I hear Metallica are still making albums though, so I guess it didn’t wreck their career.

The chapter on Prince was also enlightening. It covered his break from his record label, and how he was 1 of the first big artists 2 attempt 2 run his own business over the internet, directly relating 2 his fans. Strangely, you’d think I would have heard about these ‘indie’ releases from Prince, being we both lived in Minnesota at the time.

The Bad:

After the first few chapters, the stories devolve into the less interesting and less innovative – Death Cab for Cutie, for example, were blissfully unaware of the internet. They were just surprised that people were coming to their shows and wondered how they were finding out about them.  No ‘revolution’ here.

I’d have rather seen shorter examples of more bands instead of the few detailed analysis of the handful of bands like Wilco and Arcade Fire which read more like band bios, and could have been condensed. Same thing with the rise of Pitchfork Media – some punk with an opinionated blog becomes a millionaire. Pitchfork’s effect on bands’ record sales was important and an interesting read, but hardly worth an entire chapter.

Sadly, there is no mention of  Jagged Spiral, who announced their intention to release their 2007 debut album “Days From Evil” with a ‘pay what you want’ system on the internet before Radiohead released “In Rainbows”.  (Even if Radiohead did beat them to the punch.)  And no mention of the band Atmosphere releasing an entire album online for free as a Christmas present for their fans in Dec 2007 (The album Strictly Leakage is still available at this link.)

Of course, Greg Kot hasn’t heard of Jagged Spiral, so I can’t really fault him, but established bands like Radiohead and NIN releasing their albums on the internet for free isn’t news. They were already releasing tracks for free over terrestrial radio. No revolution here. The revolution would be up-and-coming bands like Jagged Spiral and Atmosphere changing their tactics and releasing their music for free and trading in Fortune for Fame; a gamble to jump-start their careers using the internet.

I would have enjoyed a chapter on the RIAA. They only seem to pop up in the book to say “No. You can’t do that.” I would have enjoyed more detail on the RIAA’s decision to endorse DRM (Digital Rights Management) and to read about other copy-prevention methods they might have considered.

The Upshot:

A good overview of the past ten or so years as music and musicians get more tightly caught up in the internet, and the Recording Industry fights against it every step of the way.

-Zero

Blood Hollow came as a recommendation from an employee at Rebild and Romain Booksellers (Formerly JJ O’donoghue Books) in Anoka. The helpful person working there suggested that William Kent Krueger is one of the best crime fiction writers in Minnesota. That’s high praise from someone who works at a bookstore, so I gave Blood Hollow a shot.

Mr. Krueger’s pedigree looks really good. (If he were a dog, he’d be worth a lot.) He’s a local guy with plenty of novels under his belt, and enough awards to make me puke jealous. He’s also a member of Minnesota Crime Wave.

Full Disclosure

I won’t lie to you. Crime Fiction ain’t really my genre. This would be me taking a distinct break from Horror/Fantasy. So I went into this book quite cold to partly, with a high chance of low expectations. From the cover copy, I was taken more by the location (of both the story and the author) than the genre. I was also interested in reading a book which won an Anthony Award, was nominated for Minnesota Book Award and got tons of great reviews in the press.

Cover Copy

When the corpse of a teenage girl is discovered on a hillside three months after her disappearance on New Year’s Eve, all evidence points to her boyfriend, Solemn Winter Moon. Despite Solemn’s self-incriminating decision to go into hiding, Cork O’Connor, Aurora’s part-Irish, part-Ojibwe former sheriff, isn’t about to hang the crime on the kid, whom O’Connor is convinced is innocent. In an uphill battle to clear Solemn’s name, Cork encounters no shortage of adversity. Some he knows all too well—small-town bigotry and bureaucracy foremost among them. What Cork isn’t prepared for is the emergence of a long-held resentment hailing from his own childhood. And when Solemn reappears, claiming to have seen a vision of Jesus Christ in Blood Hollow, the mystery becomes thornier than Cork could ever have anticipated. And that’s when the miracles start happening…

The Good

The writing was very good. Enough description to get you into the story, but not so much that it slows the story down. Good pacing. Great phrases like a sky “…the color of an old nickel.” Read the first two chapters and you will be able to feel the cold of a Minnesota snowstorm.

The location was perfect. For those who enjoyed the movie Fargo, this story has the same ’small town’ feel to it. Everybody knows everybody. The characters, scenery descriptions and little details (McCullough Chain Saw, Sorel Boots, Minnetonka Moccasins, etc…) made me realize that William Kent Krueger isn’t just a visitor here. He knows this place, and he does a good job of transporting the reader there.

He also does a great job with his portrayal of the Ojibwe culture. Blood Hollow includes plenty of the Ojibwe language and customs. I can vouch for his accuracy, as I have family who are Ojibwe and live on the rez in Minnesota . Very well done. I wanted more!

Mr. Krueger has a knack for names. There were plenty of characters, but I never got them mixed up (Hey, JRR Tolkien, are you listening? Sauron/Saruman ring a bell? Oh wait, he’s dead. Sorry.) The protagonist’s name is “Cork” and there’s a “Solemn Winter Moon” and “Dot”… the list goes on.  The last names of the townsfolk were particularly Minn-ee-soh-ten. “Soderberg”? I went to school with some Soderbergs…

The dynamics of the character relations were well done. The underlying tone of mistrust and prejudice between the townsfolk and the Ojibwe was a nice flavor. The miracles that occur and the problems they cause for the town add plenty of spice to the story.

The Bad

The plot was C.S.I. Aurora, MN. By that I mean linear, with the most meager of subplots. The entire storyline is a series of introducing new evidence pointing at a character as a potential suspect, then further investigation eliminates them as a suspect, and repeat until you swear that everyone in the whole town was involved and has some secret to hide.

This isn’t a mystery you will be figuring out on your own, the clues simply aren’t there. I read it passively, and tried not to guess where the story would go. I was just along for the ride, which I think you’ll find more enjoyable than the frustration of trying to solve the mystery before Cork does. Those looking for a Northwoods Sherlock Holmes story will be disappointed.

Cork O’Connor isn’t particular memorable for a main character. He has NO distinctive traits, and his family life is pretty emotionally sterile. He’s a bit like Sam Spade, only “over medium” instead of “hard boiled” and without the internal monologue. Cork is stoic, hard to read, and he goes light on the action. He’s an all-around-good-guy, and I mean that in a bad way. He needs a bad habit, or a patch over one eye, or a mysterious past that haunts him, or something to give him some depth.

The Upshot

Blood Hollow is a well-written, fast-paced crime story that takes place in a small mining range town in the northwoods of Minnesota. The story is flavored with small-town prejudice, miracles, and Ojibwe Culture. Light on the action and heavy on the investigation. Cross “Fargo” with “CSI” and you’re on the trail of a good read from a well-read author.

-Zero

The writer’s group met last Sunday and I was one of five authors on the critique hot-seat. If I learned one thing, it’s that getting honest criticism of your work is awkward. And sifting out good criticism from bad is difficult.

Wait, that’s two things I learned.

Actually, I learned a lot.

A Kick in the Balls… or not?

Opinions differed about many aspects of my story, but none as interesting as the division of opinions about our hero Nix kicking some jerk in the balls. There seemed to be no middle ground on this one. Half the group felt it was cliche and trite. The other half thought it was completely understandable and in-character.

My reasoning behind writing the kick-in-the-balls scene:

• I needed to disable the jerk character, and make sure he didn’t leave the scene, or put up resistance.
• It helps define the hero’s attitude.
• The hero needed a vehicle to make a hasty getaway. After kicking said jerk in the balls, the hero takes his keys.

Kicking him in the balls accomplishes these goals swimmingly, and has the following added bonus features:

• Most people know the effects of kicking someone in the balls (even those who haven’t experienced it firsthand) making it a very efficient narrative. One sentence conveys it all.
• It adds a touch of comic relief.
• It insinuates some sexual domination of the hero over the jerk.

The major drawback is that enough people (almost 50%) felt it was cliche enough to mention so in the critique. The majority of those who thought kicking a guy in the balls was cliche were women. Then again, the majority of the members of the MNSpec critique group were women.  I’ll let you make your own inferences.

I’ve decided that I’ll see if I can write up an action that disables the jerk, defines the hero,  and doesn’t take up much real estate in the story… without the cliche kick to the scrotum.

Inject the Venom… or not?

Another discussion that ensued was about our Hero ending an argument with her friend by injecting him with a drug that makes him pass out.  Some found this action impossible to justify, and some had no problem with it.

The argument was very similar to the argument about the hero kicking someone in the balls. Those against the action said that it was unnecessary – the hero could simply leave of her own accord. She’s an adult and doesn’t need to knock out this other character and run away. It was labeled ‘aggressively passive-aggressive’ behavior. Although like I said, some people thought it worked just fine.

In this case, I’d have to agree with voting it off the island. It was quick and easy to write. Simpler and faster to dodge the issue than talk about it at length.  I’ll change it, but I’m not exactly thrilled. Why? Because I’m writing an action/adventure story, not a fucking Throap like…

…Buffy The Vampire Slayer

It’s bound to happen.  Write a story about a kick-ass heroine, and the comparisons spew out like beer at a Nascar rally:

• Underworld
• Tomb Raider
• Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter
• V.I. Warshawski
• Buffy The Vampire Slayer
• Know more? Add them to the comments.

Alright, no one really compared my story to V.I. Warshawski. But I learned that I dislike my work being compared to hack TV shows that I’ve never seen. I guess if the genre is popular enough to be lumped into, then there must be a hell of a market.

I suspect that no matter what genre you write in (or what art you create for that matter) there will always be those who have to lump it in with all similar works. Guess I just need to get used to it.

Other Wisdoms

There were some things that everyone agreed on. They liked the pacing. They liked the fight scenes, even people who admitted they didn’t ordinarily like fight scenes, which I took as high praise. They all liked the description of the abandoned medical facility. Everyone liked the main character, Nix.

There were unanimous #EpicFails. Not searching characters for weapons once they are captured is a faux pas. Having weapons easily accessible; ditto. Handily-placed-syringes-labeled-in-the-Queen’s-English is frowned upon.

I don’t agree with all the critiques. Someone said that in a short story I should only have one thing blowing up in a fiery ball of fire and probably not at the start of the story. Obviously, this person has never seen a Michael Bay film.

Someone mockingly pointed out my instances of “Purple Prose” meaning phrases that are, “sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context”. Point taken, and I appreciate the observation, if not the tone, which was a bit purple itself. I’m trying to take all criticism with a pound of salt, but my editor Sue might be right – she tells me that writers are cursed with terribly thin skin.

One suggestion was for me to ditch the fight scene at the beginning and start several pages into the existing story, with our main character in motion. I might do just that because it makes good sense for the work by itself. I have to remember that it’s detached from the full work. Once the short story becomes integrated into the full work (possibly in a later edition) I’ll likely add the fight scene back in. It means I have to rework the motivation for our hero to leave home.

The biggest praise came from the group organizer Hillary, who said I should try to sell the story before releasing it on the internet for free. I was surprised that anyone thought it worthy of publication. Another person said it had a “pulp sensibility” which I’ll take as a complement.

All in all, there’s plenty of resource in the massive stack of sequoia-killing redlined manuscripts I brought home from the group critique. I’ll rewrite “Yellow King” and pass it along to an editor, then release it for FREE either later this year or early in 2010. Those who are interested in reading it should sign up for the newsletter, or keep checking back here on the blog – you’ll be the first to know.

No joke. Here’s the list of songs.

• Night Ranger – “Sister Christian”
• Guns n’ Roses – “November Rain”
• Bon Jovi – “Wanted, Dead or Alive”
• Journey – “Faithfully”
• Scorpions – “Winds of Change”
• Poison – “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”
• Ozzy Osbourne/Lita Ford – “Close My Eyes Forever”
• Styx – “Come Sail Away”
• Heart – “Alone”
• Meat Loaf – “Anything For Love”
• Aerosmith – “Dream On”
• Mötley Crüe – “Home Sweet Home”
• Lynyrd Skynyrd – “Freebird”
• Queen – “We Are The Champions”

The talent behind this show are amazing. Dieter Bierbrauer, Randy Schmeling and Katy Hays are spot-on singers. The songs are done pretty much note for note, in some cases better than the originals. All the performances were stellar, but ones that stand out: Dieter’s rendition of Ozzy in “Close My Eyes Forever” was top notch, and likewise with Randy’s cover of Meatloaf’s “Anything For Love”. Katy’s cover of Heart’s “Alone” was worth the price of admission. The musicians are all pro: Mike Menard on Bass/Guitar, Jon Ehresmann and Mike Krajewski on Guitars, Dennis Curley on Keyboards and Andrew Thornbrough on Drums… This is not some lame bar band playing a kegger. These people are truly admirers of the genre, and you’ll be amazed at how close they get to the originals.

Of course it’s not possible to look back on some of this stuff and laugh, especially the hair. You will see Katy attempt to run her hair through the “way back machine” in about 30 seconds (in exactly 30 seconds). You will see Randy put on a giant wig and cowboy hat and perform a minty rendition of Poison’s “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”. You will see Dieter in a rowboat-turned-spaceship-pulled-by-aliens while singing “Come Sail Away”. Now I’m no Styx fan, but that part of the show had me laughing so hard, I was literally in tears.

More fun highlights: Free lighters (with built-in bottle openers) to hold up in a non-stop tribute, and some fun facts between songs about the bands that made these songs what they are. A medley halfway through the show touched on what was and was not a power ballad. There’s a T-Shirt Cannon, and if you’re really lucky, they will pull some person out of the audience to answer Power Ballad Trivia who is so drunk she scares the performers. (Hey, they only had to deal with her for a couple minutes. I sat right in front of her for the entire show.)

Oh, and for the grand finale: THREE FREDDY MERCURY’s. Top that.

The show runs through June 28th. Get tickets at the door or the official website, www.powerballadz.com There are no assigned seats. Drinks are served in the venue – CASH ONLY so come prepared. Unfortunately, the discount code I have to get half price tickets is only good for opening weekend, but if you are going, keep an eye out for specials and discounts.

The LAB theatre used to be called the Guthrie Lab, but after the Guthrie moved, now it’s just called The LAB.

Click here for the Google Map to the LAB Theatre

If you saw the show, let everyone know what you think in the comments. If you liked the show, spread the word!

Disclaimer Addendum (29 Apr 2009) – There’s been a lot of noise about the amazing similarity between the current Swine Flu pandemic and the story behind the Nation Undead website I cover in this blog post.  Patient Zero, the rise and spread of “Respiren Flu” and it’s cure “Toxicil” are astonishingly close to the rise and spread of the Swine Flu.

I can assure you that these  similarities  are coincidental.  If anything, the Swine Flu is ripping off the Nation Undead backstory, since Nation Undead has been around since Aug 2008

-Zero

What would happen if there was a concerted effort to organize and direct the mindless slew of independent videos bombarding the internet? What if there was a master plan to give independent filmmakers around the world a united purpose or focus?

What if it involved Zombies?

Patrick Pierson and the team at Nation Undead have taken this idea, put it in the blender with a flu pandemic, questionable pharmaceuticals (See the Toxicil add, right) and military intervention, and hit upon true creative genius. nationundead.com is a collaborative effort for filmmakers, musicians and other creatives to work on small pieces of a larger project.

NationUndead.com is a website dedicated to collecting the stories of all independent filmmakers as they create and film several stories within the larger framework of the Nation Undead universe.
www.nationundead.com

The scope of the project in Nation Undead is a story of a virus that spreads through the United States, culminating in a full-scale zombie infestation.

I got the opportunity to ask Nation Undead’s Patrick Pierson a few questions about the site.

What were the inspirations for Nation Undead?

There are plenty tricks up our sleeve. Using this kind of application opens up a new level of digital guerrilla theater. We are working on an iPhone application that’s pretty mind blowing, of which I cant say . Eventually we would like to set up a sort of moving set such as a military base. All of the filmmakers with their crews and cast from those areas would meet up and help make several films in the same location. Each filmmaker would get a set time where everyone focuses on their film and becomes the extras on the military base. Pretty exciting stuff.

My Experience on Nation Undead

Nation Undead’s clever use of crowd sourcing is setting the standard for an entirely new genre of collaborative entertainment.

I joined the madness on nationundead.com and set up a profile. It’s the  standard-issue username/password/e-mail/avatar. Reading through the overarching story doesn’t take long, but there’s more backstory on the site’s wiki and a useful forum and faq for questions.

Uploading music was quick and easy. (Just make sure you own the rights to the music!) The upload process lets you give a description of the music and pick the type of creative commons license you want, which is very slick. I posted the instrumental versions of all songs on Jagged Spiral’s “Days From Evil” album. Now all Nation Undead contributors can use our songs to score their films.

Filmmakers can upload their movies, (movie time limit is 7 minutes) Musicians can upload their songs, graphic artists can upload their pix, screenwriters can upload scripts, and people can ask questions and contribute through the forums. Forum responses are mostly same-day.

The Official Resources page has video clips and graphics you can use in your movie. This adds a greater level of consistency to the overall project.

Nation Undead is a fabulous idea. The resources to make simple indie movies are widely available, but no one knows what to DO with them. With nationundead.com, budding filmmakers around the world who have a video camera, a couple friends and a couple gallons of fake blood can take part in a fun project. (Hint: Don’t have fake blood? Shoot your video in black and white and use chocolate syrup.)

Nation Undead’s clever use of crowd sourcing is setting the standard for an entirely new genre of collaborative entertainment.

PS: Just make sure to score your film with music from Jagged Spiral! Share and Enjoy:

]]> http://www.conradzero.com/interview-with-nation-undeads-patrick-pierson/feed/ 0 http://www.conradzero.com/video-game-review-jade-empire/ http://www.conradzero.com/video-game-review-jade-empire/#comments Fri, 13 Mar 2009 02:43:34 +0000 Zero http://www.conradzero.com/?p=160

There’s two distinct advantages to waiting a few years after a game’s release before you pick it up:

• The price will be low
• The system requirements will be laughable. (Unless you never upgrade your computer)

Case in point is Bioware’s Jade Empire released in 2005. Fate laid a copy of Jade Empire in my path for a measily two dollars (plus tax)  Hey, I’m only human right? Some would argue that statement, since I put in 29 Hours and 31 minutes over a 4-day marathon of gameplay and finished the game.  Somehow I also managed to work my full-time job. There was time in there for bathroom breaks and caffeine power-ups, but no sleeping that I remember.

Those who played Neverwinter Nights will recognize the game engine and controls, although much has been simplified and streamlined for your pleasure. Combat is reduced to three options: Attack, Block, and Power Attack. These function in a Rock-Paper-Scissors format:

• Block avoids Attack
• Attack cancels Power Attack
• Power Attack beats Block

There’s also Chi, a spirtual ability which can be used for healing and applied to some attacks to make them more powerful. You also have Focus, which slows down time and allows you to move faster than your enemies.  Focus and Chi aren’t unlimited, and should be used sparingly during combat.

The Good

The real beauty of this game lie in its simplicity. For example, there’s very little inventory to manage. No armor. No potions. No weapons. You have a list of fighting styles that you’ve learned. If you learn a dual-sword technique, you have dual swords. No encumbrance, no shuffling equipment onto and off from pack mules. No running into town to sell off a bunch of stuff to make room for more stuff. You do have some magic gems which augment your abilities, and some ‘plot items’ which are simply keys to finishing certain tasks, but there’s nothing to be replenished or reloaded except your Mind, Body and Spirit.

Despite some yawnable cliche’s (see below) the story was top notch. Definitely not a writer’s strike going on when this game was made. Interesting, funny and lovable characters, who had some believable interactions and entertaining conversations. Throughout the game I could turn to Henpecked Hau for a lengthy and entertaining conversation. A turning point in the story comes when you finally confront the Emperor himself - what happens is something you will *never* see coming.

The Role Playing was the best I’ve seen in a game. Lots of discussions, and dialog options, and choices of how to specifically phrase your replies. For example, you might get the following four different ways to say “Yes”:

• Yes, your most worshipful Emperorness.
• Yes.
• For Gods sakes, Yes! Now quit asking me stupid questions!
• [Charm] Oh yeah you big stallion!

This much dialog might be a turn-off for those who just want things to Line Up And Die, but I thought it was fun. It really let me get into my character’s motivations and let me mold my character into what I wanted. More specifically a Cold-Blooded-Yet-Smoking-Hot-Asian-Female-Assassin. Duh.

The game world is ”based on” China.  The alternate language that occurs in the game is called Tho Fan, created specifically for the game by Canadian linguist Wolf Wikeley.

If it looks like China and it sounds like China… Fine, I’ll say it, the game takes place in China. Regardless, it is steeped in Eastern Philosophy, which gives it some great quotes. Here are some of the more memorable ones:

• The Wheel of Life must turn!
• Ask not where the path leads. Instead ask why the path is there.
• If we aren’t drinking we should be fighting.

The Bad

I had to turn the music down. Yeah, it fits the mood and all, but I need to be able to hear if a 20-foot tall stone golem is trying to sneak up on me.

The plot was good despite the cliche’s, but they were there. Ever play a game where you die and have to fight your way out of the underworld?  Yeah, me too. Ever played a game where you are forced to fight a copy of your own character? Yeah, it’s probably the first module every D&D GameMaster thinks up. Ever hear the plot, ‘Local peasant rises up to defeat the evil draconian overlord?’ You can check, but I think that might have been done already.

The game engine had a couple minor quirks. I got used to the limitations of the camera quickly. There is a very limited range of up/down motion with the camera, and no way to zoom the camera in or out. That said, the camera was positioned ‘just right’ for most of the game. Mostly. I did run into several places where the camera got stuck pointing straight down about a foot off the ground. Not very useful. I had to watch the map in the corner of the screen and move to a section with some stairs, and that would jar the camera back to the correct position.

Jade Empire takes the “I” out of AI.  Even on ‘Master’ and ‘Jade Master’ difficulty settings, the bad guys didn’t seem to have any attacking style. They seem to perform a randomized combination of Block/Attack/Power Attack. Enemies you aren’t directly targeting don’t go out of their way to hit you, like they want to wait their turn for your full attention or something.

The Upshot

Jade Empire is a fun console-ported-to-PC game, with an interesting blend of Hack-N-Slash mixed with Role Playing, all steeped in an Alternate Eastern Mythology. Simplified combat and no inventory put the focus back on gameplay where it belongs.

The Twitter Review

Just completed *Jade Empire* 29hrs 31min total, I kicked that game’s ass in 4 days! What an awesome game! It was like being in a movie!

So while movies like “War Games” and “Red Dawn” are period pieces that hold a certain charm for me, I have to admit they won’t work for everyone. The same goes for Warner Bros new release: The Watchmen. The story is an alternate history, dated in the 80’s. (The Watchmen was released in 86-87) The “alternate” part is that superheros rise to power and help America to win The Vietnam War. President Richard Nixon is elected for a third term, and a comedian is killed in New York…

The Good

The movie intro is great, and I appreciated the quick overview of the alternate history of how the Watchmen came to be, and then came to Not be. (All backed by Bob Dylan’s ‘The Times They are A Changin.’)

While the movie’s alternative time period didn’t seem as surreal as the real 80’s were, it was very distinct, and gave the movie an other-worldly feel. More than one person mentioned a feeling reminiscent of Blade Runner.

The heroes were fallible, to a fault. The good and bad are not clear-cut, and I love that. Too many years of Disney handing us Good and Evil on clearly-labeled trays so we know who to like and who to hate; you won’t find that in the Watchmen. The characters Rorschach (Played by Jackie Earle Haley) and the Comedian (Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan) are as deep and as real as any superheros I’ve ever seen on the big screen.

Disjointedness aside, the plot was great.  Big.  Great Big. Earth-shatteringly earth shattering. Once it gets rolling, its a Juggernaut, and it isn’t boring. The mythos of the Watchmen was well thought out, and it shows.

The Bad

The first third of the movie is a mystery. The mystery is, “What the hell is this movie about?”  The movie’s dyslexic buildup made me wonder if it was a political drama, superhero saga, mystery, or soap opera. The movie didn’t try too hard to pander to those unfamiliar with the mythos, the philosophy was, “Start the movie and the audience will catch up eventually!”

The music was trying too hard. Way too hard. I never thought I’d say this because I’ve said the opposite so many times but here is a movie that would have benefited by replacing some of the songs with musical score. I guess they couldn’t get Danny Elfman so they bought up the rights to every song played in the 80’s except “Don’t Fear the Reaper” by Blue Oyster Cult. And they might have played that one while I was in the bathroom.

And if I *never* hear the accursed song “Hallelujah” again, it will be too soon. I don’t know who decided to include this song, much less why they thought it might work over a sex scene, but people in the theatre were laughing, myself included.

And if I *never* **ever** see an uncircumcised blue penis again, it will be too soon.

The Twitter Review

#MovieReview The Watchmen is good. A great character study, even if you don’t like superheros. Soundtrack tries too hard. The 80s were cool

Prediction

I’m predicting that the 80’s gigantic earrings, neon pastel colors, and Nagel prints will make a comeback because of this film.

Jagged Spiral

Jagged Spiral’s long-awaited CD release of “Days From Evil” came and went, and was definitely the highlight of my year. A handful of media reviews, ranging from “needs improvement” up to “gave me the piss-myself nightmares” were exciting to read over and over again. Yeah, even the “needs improvement” one. Being important enough to dislike still makes you feel important. Famous or Infamous? Hell, I’ll take both.

I was hoping the CD release party (at Club Underground on 11 July 2008) would be the start of an exciting summer of booking shows, networking with bands/venues/fans, promoting the album and generating excitement for our new material. Instead, I was informed that it’s “all about the music,” and little more. That pretty much moved us back to the studio; writing and recording. Scratch that, I guess we just write now. That’s our comfort zone, “a sin that we’re good at” if I can plagiarize my own work.

You can read more about what the band is up to at www.jaggedspiral.com.

The Demonslayer’s Handbook

The second half of 2008, I shifted most of my free time away from the band and onto “The Demonslayer’s Handbook“  I did a lot of research and tried to get my mind around the traditional-publishing vs self-publishing processes. The manuscript is done, and my faithful beta-reader-fan-club have devoured the text and reported back plenty of useful criticism. Finding a professional editor is my first primary objective of 2009.

Sometime this year, I’ll be updating the website theme, because I unroll like that. Something dark, urban… not entirely sure yet, but no shiny floor, and probably not Web 2.0. I’ll also be putting together a newsletter and mailing list, and I’ve got some other interesting promotional ideas…

Minneapolis Local Music

On the local music front, Mark Mallman is a tough act to top. I saw him at the Varsity for New Year’s.  The man is insane. I hear local hip-hop duo Atmosphere got voted “Band of the Year”, for their album, When life hands you lemons, you paint that shit gold” which really should win based on the title alone.

CwnAnnwn (pronounced Coon-ah-noon) is an up-and-coming symphonic metal band, keep an eye on them.

Those interested in the Minneapolis local music scene should check out The Best New Bands of 2008 at First Ave on Jan 14th.

National Music

Nine Inch Nails new album was mediocre at best, so much so that I ended up skipping the “Lights in the Sky” tour, and it wasn’t till afterward that I heard it was one of the most spectacular and technically challenging concerts performed (seconded only by Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” tour). That’ll teach me to pass on NIN!.

Metallica went ‘back to their roots’, admitting that their last handful of albums sucked. And ‘Death Magnetic’ simply proves what we’ve known all along; they can’t play like they used to. And while the world gave Metallica no sympathy for the album’s poor production value, I thought the music sucked far worse than the production. Between mp3s, radio stations like 93X, and bands like Jagged Spiral, I put up with overcompression all the time, but I’ve always said I’d rather listen to a good song at poor quality than a poor song at good quality. I stole “Death Magnetic” and it wasn’t even worth free. I’ve decided that the Real Metallica died in a plane crash after making “The Black Album”.

Guns-N-Roses meanwhile (if we can still call the band that) ran quite far from their roots, and by contractual obligation released “Chinese Democracy” an album which proves that 13 years and 13 Million can’t make crappy songs any better. As overproduced as a Brittney Spears album, “Chinese Democracy” lacks the Slash-guitar-hero-hookiness that made G-n-R so great. Sorry Axl, its been great, but I think GNR died in that plane crash with Metallica…

Meanwhile, AC/DC released “Black Ice”, the exact same album they’ve released for years, and are playing sold out shows. The band still refuses to sell it’s music on i-tunes. Axl and Metallica could take a lesson here (if they were still alive, that is.)

Video Games

Its a close tie between “Dead Space” and “Fallout 3″ for my Game of the Year. I just finished Dead Space and it kicks undead-outer-space-horror-sci-fi-ass. I just started Fallout 3, and while it looks like an amazing game overall, Dead Space is the winner for mood, atmosphere and storyline.

Spore was disappointing. Portal was fun, and just long enough, but more of a diversion or a mini-game. I’ve just loaded up Left 4 Dead, and plan to fight the undead hordes with some friends next weekend.

What’s up with Guitar Hero, Rock Band and all the music games? Is real music popular again? I like it. Don’t forget that Real Music comes from guitars, not record-scratchers.

Movies

I’ve found very few movies to rave about in 2008. Batman trumped Indy by far, and I bet I’m not alone in believing that the Indiana Jones franchise should have been left with our hero riding off into the sunset.

Anyway

I’m glad that’s over with. Let’s move along, nothing to see here…

Art Is Resistance
-Zero