Urban Paranormal Lesbian Fae Adventures in Minneapolis

First, a full disclosure – I know Michael Merriam personally. He’s a fellow member of The Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers Group. Michael and I also share the same psychotherapist.

Second, a disclaimer – I’m all about the paranormal, but romance stories aren’t really my thing. I’m also not the target market for this genre. So when I tell you that I enjoyed it, that’s saying a lot, although I may have to keep my y-chromosome in check as I give this review.

Third, a quandary – Michael Merriam’s paranormal romance novel, Last Car To Annwn Station was released in e-book format only, and I didn’t have an e-book reader. So I waffled over the different options available – namely the Nook, the Kindle, and the Sony e-book reader. I finally decided to give Google Books a try.  I read Last Car on my Samsung Droid Charge phone, and while that was an awesome experience in itself, I’ll stick to the book review in this post and report on smartphone-e-book-happiness another day.

From the Publisher

“The fare is ten cents, miss.”

Mae Malveaux, an attorney with Minneapolis Child Protective Services, is burnt-out, tired and frustrated. Passing on an invite from Jill, her flirtatious coworker, Mae just wants a quiet night in. Leaving the office late, she’s surprised to find the Heritage Line streetcars up and running and hops aboard, eager for a quick trip home.

But this is no ordinary streetcar. Death is one of its riders, and Mae is thrust into Annwn, a realm of magic and danger.

“Your transfer, miss. You’ll need that.”

Mae’s life is turned upside down as human and fae worlds collide. Her budding relationship with Jill takes a perilous turn when they are hunted by mythical beasts, and Mae is drawn into a deadly power struggle. With Jill at her side, Mae must straddle both worlds and fight a war she barely comprehends, for not only does the fate of Annwn rest in her hands, but the lives of both a human and fae child…

My Review of Last Car to Annwn Station

The Cover

I won’t lie. I do judge books by their cover, and I’ve even created a system for doing so. And the cover graphics for Last Car to Annwn Station are minty-golden. I mean ice-cold-hotness. But as I mention in my system of how to judge a book by its cover, this doesn’t mean the story is necessarily good, just less likely to suck. However it would look quite good on a bookshelf or coffee table… if there were a physical version available. Just sayin.

The Heroine

The protagonist in Last Car is Mae Malveaux, an attorney living and working in Minneapolis, MN. She seems a bit prim at first, and her character arc sees her growing in many different ways. Mae has at least three major ‘coming out’ arcs.

The most obvious arc is in her sexuality. This is a lesbian-coming-out story, and if you aren’t secure enough in your own sexuality to handle reading something like this… then maybe you shouldn’t. I thought the romance between Mae and her coworker, Jill, was well done. In some ways the relationship seemed to move too slowly, almost teasing the reader. But the sexual tension added to the overall tension of the story, reminding me of the very best parts of agents Mulder and Skully’s interactions in The X-Files.

Mae also develops a bit of backbone and pluck throughout the story, growing into the kick-ass heroine role. She probably wouldn’t stand against Sookie Stackhouse, well… maybe at the end of the story she would.

The third way in which Mae develops is… a surprise. You’ll have to read to find out.

The Downtime

Now remember, I’m trying to keep my y-chromosome out of this, but I couldn’t help but notice that there was a lot of ‘domestic upkeep’ in this story. Lots of cooking, cleaning, packing, unpacking, etc. Lots of coffee and tea-making. Lots of snuggling and lounging while wearing fleecy pajamas. There were plenty of great action and chase scenes, and I won’t argue that there needs to be something to buffer the action scenes, and I don’t expect them to sit around drinking Knob Creek Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey while cleaning their H&K MP5…

…OK, that’s a lie. I actually was hoping for that. Sorry, Michael.

Suffice to say, I’d have enjoyed the book more if there was less lounging, noshing and kibitzing. But I’m a guy. Your chromosomes may vary.

The Plot

The story starts in modern-day Minneapolis, but Mae unknowingly boards a streetcar that takes her into the land of Annwn, home of the fae. . Soon she’s chatting with Death and being chased by the Cwn Annwn. (Actually the hounds of Annwn, not to be confused with Cwn Annwn, the Minneapolis Prog-Metal Band.)

It didn’t take much digging to come up with the history of the Heritage Streetcar line in Minneapolis, the ghost of which plays an important role in the story.  This also shows Michael did a bit of hometown homework. He also makes the city very apparent in the story. Anyone from Minneapolis will feel quite at home as they follow Mae on her adventures. That is, until she crosses over to the realm of Annwn. Those who are up on their Welsh mythology will appreciate the appearance of King of the Fair Folk, Gwynn ap Nudd in the story.

The story sticks to the core conflict and steers clear of High Fantasy Politics. While the influences of the leaders of the paranormal races are made real through the plot and character actions, we are thankfully kept out of the High Council Chambers except for a few combat-laden moments which don’t count.  I guess if faerie-political-intrigue was the option, I’d choose fleecy-pajama-lounging myself.

Michael’s dry and wry sense of humor shines in the writing in Last Car. His timing is spot-on, breaking the tension in just the right places with plenty of laugh-0ut-loud moments. The line “I’m about as magical as a dead gopher” made me laugh so hard I nearly drove  right into the ditch. Hey, it’s hard to drive while reading e-books on your smartphone!

The Short Story

Michael Merriam’s Last Car to Annwn Station is an exciting paranormal fae lesbian romance coming 0f age story in Minneapolis. Plenty of modern-day action crossed with paranormal adventures, interesting characters, and some pleasant breaks for tea and croissants.

A Convention for High-Level Author Discussion

The 4th Street Fantasy Convention Conversation describes itself this way:

• a convention for people who are serious about good fantasy and good stories.
• a weekend of high-quality, high-intensity, mind-stretching fun.
• a single track program sized so that everyone can experience the same panels.
• fascinating conversations.
• an opportunity to promote interest and quality in fantasy literature.

I like that they call it a Conversation, not a Convention. The panel programming is structured like a Convention, but the audience is allowed to interact  add, and steer the conversation (under the control of a panel moderator). Some of the best conversation for me was found outside the actual programming, when writers would break into groups between panels, kibitzing in the back room, noshing at nearby venues, assembling in the hotel bar for some social lubrication, or taking over the conference room after hours for a late-night music jam.  The ability to digest and process the info with other authors is great because it allows you to take the high-level theory back to the day-to-day applied practice of writing.

Fourth Street is geared more toward art than craft. The level of discussion is more philosophical and abstract than the discussions we have at MNSpec Writer’s Groups. The topics are heady, and even panel topics that were started simply because “I didn’t like it when author X did this…” end up getting analyzed at a high level that might throw newer authors. With a roomful of experience, intelligence, alcohol and overcompensating introverts, your mileage will definitely vary. You could get moments of non-topic pedantic bullshit, but the results are usually writer-philosophy-Nirvana.

Who-All Was There

It was good to see a respectable turnout of my fellow MNSpec writers: the talented, published (and MODEST, damn him) Michael Merriam, his lovely wife Sherry Merriam, the uber-talented Dana Baird, the lovely and talented and very pregnant Abra Staffin-Wiebe, the cheerful uber-hipster couple Eli Effinger-Weintraub and Leora, and the charming Tracy LaChance. It was comforting to know that we could have taken the conference if we had to (except maybe Elizabeth Bear, she seems like a scrapper) but fortunately it didn’t come to that. It would be great if MNSpec could have an even greater presence at 4th Street in 2012. I was glad to have plenty of people I knew at the convention, because socializing is a major component of the event, and if you have people there whom you know, (or if you’re naturally outgoing and extroverted) I think you’ll get more out of it.

I was forewarned that there is a “country club” feel to the 4th Street convention, and I can tell you this is  is kinda-sorta true. A high percentage of people attending conference have been there before. I would say less than 10% of the group were first time attendees. Overall the regular crowd was friendly and accepting of The New People. There is also the core group that created 4th street called the Scribblies. These are the royalty in the not-so-invisible hierarchy of 4th Street. You don’t have to bow to them, but it’s clear that they run the show.

If the Scribblies are the Royal Court, then the Queen would be Janet Grouchy, the real power behind making 4th street a success. Janet is actually a Momma Duck in Disguise who made sure we were all taken care of over the long weekend. She was my personal caffeine source, keeping me supplied with Diet Coke and Louisiana Coffee for my high-octane needs. Janet was the epitome of Southern Hospitality. She checked on each table personally to make sure our lunches were alright before she sat down herself. Fourth Street is very lucky to have someone like Janet to coordinate this awesome event/resource for writers.

Highlights

Conrad Zero and the Queen of Urban Fantasy, Emma Bull

The #1 highlight of the convention for me was when one of my personal hometown heroes Emma Bull sat down beside me, and we got the chance to chat. For those who don’t know, Emma Bull wrote War for the Oaks in 1987, which is considered to be the book that defined the Urban Fantasy genre, and had a huge impact on my own writing career. I told Emma that her work inspired me greatly, but that she should not feel responsible or guilty for any stories I might publish because of that inspiration. After three days of observing Emma in action, I can tell you she is smart, sparky, fun, and still passionate about writing after almost 25 years. She is living proof that writing will not eventually turn you into Harlan Ellison.

Another personal highlight was during a panel called “Off with ‘is head!” which discussed how, when and why authors might kill off main characters. One audience member was struggling to come up with an example of a character who become immortal, even mythological, by transcending death. I yelled out “Frodo Lives!” The guy looked equal parts confused and annoyed, like I had Tourette’s Syndrome or something. I could just as easily have yelled out “Jesus Christ!” but I figured more of the audience had read The Lord Of The Rings than The Bible. (I’m waiting for the movie myself.) But seriously, I didn’t just make up this phrase. If it has it’s own wikipedia page, it qualifies as pop culture. Good thing I had a +3 Potion of Snub-Resistance on me.

The “Another Panel” is complete genius. If anyone tries to take the discussion off-topic (intentionally or not) people can claim “That’s Another Panel” in which case someone writes it down on a board and the discussion returns to the topic at hand. At the end of the weekend, the last panel is called “Another Panel” where the list of topics is examined for further discussion.

There was so much book/author-name-dropping that it made me feel guilty for not reading more. The good news was that I was able to add a whole slew of fiction books to my amazon wish list. (Thank goodness for free wireless.) and a slew of movies to my Netflix queue. Uncle Hugo’s Science Fiction Bookstore had a handy table at the conference with an assortment of books by the authors in attendance.

I picked up a copy of The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch, and got Scott to sign it. Scott is a great speaker with a great sense of humor and an odd combination of gregariousness and modesty. One of the discussion panel topics was about killing off main characters, which apparently happens in this book. Of course, I immediately had to buy it. Not because a main character dies, but I told Scott that any author willing to take chances like that is going to take chances in other areas too, and that’s the kind of author I want to read.

The best parts of 4th street for any author are information, motivation, and networking. Just talking about writing with writers, and bouncing around so many great ideas made me want to go home and write ten novels. If you’re a writer in the Minnesota/Minneapolis area, you owe it to yourself to attend the 4th Street Fantasy Conversation.

Things I learned at 4th Street Fantasy Conversation 2011

• If you have a clean house, you are not an author.
• If you aren’t a control freak, you aren’t really an author.
• Weight gain in authors is also known as “street cred.”
• Write better.
• Write things you have a passion for.
• Simply because you talk a good talk on a panel doesn’t mean your writing is good.
• Simply because you botch or get trounced on a panel doesn’t mean your writing sucks.
• You’re never going to keep your audience if you worry about keeping your audience.
• The deadline for your Science Fiction manuscript is Fantasy, and the deadline for your Fantasy manuscript is Science Fiction (esp since it involves Time Travel.)

Michelle Raftner, whom you may recognize as the brains behind WordCount’s Blogathon 2011, tossed a little light on yours truly in her secondact.com article Blogging Their Way to a Midlife Makeover.  I was thrilled to be interviewed by Michelle for her article. Sadly, it wasn’t until after I read the article that I realized my response to her e-mail interview questionnaire was firmly planted in my drafts folder, and did not make it back to her in time for the article. Thankfully, she was able to piece together a reasonable article from our conversation. My sincere apologies to Michelle.

For those who care, here are the more detailed answers to her questions:

Name of blog:

Conrad Zero – Dark Fiction Author

URL:

www.conradzero.com

What is your blog about?

Tips, tricks, inspirations and motivations for all authors and writers, and the occasional day-in-the-life revelations of a dark fiction author.

How long have you been blogging?

I’ve been blogging since 29 Jan, 2004. At first, my blog was more entertainment-based, and I did reviews of movies, music, books, video games and occasionally, self-important bullshit that I mistook for “life.”  Over time, I’ve changed to become more of a mix of useful writing information and entertainment (infotainment?) spiced with interesting website links, news and technologies that I hope writers would find interesting or useful.

What have you learned about blogging?

1 – Know the difference between facts and your opinions

I once had a commenter who kept flaming me because I made fun of Naomi Watts performance in Peter Jackson’s remake of King Kong. No, seriously. I tried to get him to understand that we simply had differing opinions on the matter and that was OK. But he valiantly attempted to “prove” me wrong, and made an ass of himself in the process. Luckily for him, comments got reset when I moved from Blogger to WordPress, but it made me realize that some people will read your blog and think you are giving them real, objective facts when you’re just stating your opinion.

If you are clear with your readers about what you feel vs what you know, you can prevent some (but not all) angry responses. For those that manage to be pissed off at you anyway, if you know the difference between subjective and objective you’ll be better equipped to defend yourself against the flamethrowers.

2 – See both the good and bad in your reviews

Cynics can be funny and even entertaining, but if you are one of those snide reviewers who think its fun and funny to be anti-Everything, why do I need to read your blog? I already know what your opinion is going to be, and I’ll never take your reviews seriously, because I wouldn’t trust you to find the good in anything.

Remember that there are real people behind these projects (movies, books, music, whatever) and they worked really hard to create them.

As a member of the Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writer’s Group, one of the things that impresses me about our writing critique workshops is that our members always try to see both the good in writing submissions as well as the bad.  Authors who are diligent enough to finish a piece of writing and brave/conscientious enough to share it with a crit group deserve at least a charitable interpretation.That includes both constructive and destructive criticism. Few bloggers do this, because it takes more work and requires thinking. But, if you can do this, you will raise your blog from stand-up comedy to a useful source of info that helps artists make their own works better.

3 – The Very Best PR You Can Get

Lots of bloggers fuss over colors, keywords and SEO, meanwhile they ignore, or even snap back at their audience, missing out on the very best PR they have at their disposal: their attitude towards their audience.

I sent an e-mail to an up-and-coming author telling him I really enjoyed his new book. Six months later I got a confused reply, ‘Did I ever thank you for this?” I was thrilled to get that much, but I decided that I would do better when it came to my own fans. [Editor's Note: Tell that to Michelle Raftner! LOL]

Last week, I received an angry e-mail from a reader about my recent post comparing online file sync systems Sugarsync vs Dropbox. The reader was angry that I didn’t include anything about online security. I replied calmly, presenting the reader with my OPINION (See above) and the research I’d done on the matter that backed up my opinion. The reader responded saying he had never considered the points I presented, and he mentioned how nice it was to receive an intelligent thoughtful reply “for a change”.  People may not expect a personal reply, much less a thoughtful one, but they certainly do appreciate it.

4 – No, it really isn’t all about you.

Most bloggers favorite subject is themselves. This is great after you’ve sold a million books, because people might actually care. Till then, the only people who are going to read you going on and on about yourself are your mom and your psycho ex, (neither of which are going to buy your book, btw.)

A tip for the unfamous: if you can become a resource of a specific kind of info (not yourself) you will get all the linkage, comments, and SEO you could want.

5 – You are no expert, but you don’t have to be

Here’s a great bit of blogger humor:

Q: How many bloggers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Tell us what YOU think in the comments below.

Many of the more successful bloggers aren’t necessarily the best knowledge sources on a subject – they are enablers. They find, filter and focus content and are able to pull together like-minded people who can help with the answers. Look up crowdsourcing, and then see how it’s done on sites like lifehacker, digg, imdb, problogger, etc. The truth is that anyone with a passion for something can make a website that will draw like-minded people, regardless of their credentials.

The goal is not to be (or pretend to be) an expert on things and to have all the answers. What’s more important is meeting people on the same journey you are on, and to share and grow wisdom along with them.

Are you fighting a chaotic mess of manuscripts? A plethora of plot outlines? Reams of rejection letters? Do you lose documents and important info? Do you have enough paper on your desk to potty-train a herd of baby Godzillas?

You’re not alone.

I recently did some research on organization specifically for writers and authors, then I presented my findings to the MNSpec Writers Group. I’ll post a link to the podcast here when it goes live, but this blog post highlights five key points from that presentation.

One book that was very helpful in my research was Organizing for the Right Side of the Brain: A Creative Approach to Getting Organized by Lee Silber. According to Mr. Silber, writers, authors and other creative types have special needs when it comes to keeping organized.  Writers (especially Fiction writers) tend to be right-brain dominant, and right-brain dominant people are wired for creation, not organization. Their thinking is more abstract and intuitive than left-brain dominant people, whose thinking is more linear and analytical. You can read more about Left-Brain, Right-Brain Theory here, and you can take this test to see whether you are right or left brain dominant.

The most surprising discovery I made in my research was that I’m not as disorganized as I thought I was. It all started with this revelation:

Cleanliness Does Not Equal Organization

I used to believe that a clean desk was an organized desk, but on closer examination, I found that is not always the case. For instance, I work with someone whose office cubicle looks like it was ransacked by the FBI. It looks like the contents of every desk drawer were turned out onto her desktop. But she never loses things. She knows exactly where everything is. She can pull stuff out of the chaos like a magician. You wouldn’t know it by looking, but she is very organized.

Meanwhile, another coworker’s cubicle looks like it’s her first day on the job. Not a scrap of paper in sight. You literally could eat off the surface of her desk, it’s that clean. But she’s constantly asking me for copies of paperwork I gave her earlier. And when I ask her for paperwork, the usual response is, “Oh, I’m not sure where it is. I’ll have to dig for it. Let me get back to you.”

So there you are: Cleanliness does not equal Organization. If you “clean” your writing desk by shoving all those stacks of paper down the laundry chute, then your desk really is clean. But if you spend hours sifting through a mountain of paper in the basement, looking for manuscripts instead of writing, then you really are not organized.

So if organization isn’t cleanliness, what is it?

Redefining “Organization”

Bing.com suggests Organization is “effectiveness of arrangement” But we can do better than that. Try this:

Organization: The ability to find things in a reasonable amount of time.

The more organized you are, the faster you can find things when you need them. You either know EXACTLY where they are, or you know MOSTLY where they are, and can find them after a short search. Either way, if you are organized, then you don’t waste much time looking for things, whether these ‘things’ are contact information, appointments, character bios or that manuscript you haven’t worked on for months.

None of which has to do with cleanliness, which leads me to my first tip for writers and authors trying to get more organized:

Writer Organizing Tip #1 – Don’t Fear The Clutter

Authors, writers and other creative types are less limited by clutter than your average person. They are able to see patterns in chaos that would drive a left-brained person barking mad. Having things out where they can see them is a trait of right-brained folks who tend to believe that out of sight = out of mind. Where others see piles of paper on a desk, right-brainers are able to see a series of tasks they are working on: Manuscripts to revise, royalty checks to deposit, and rejection letters to burn to offset the heating bill.

So just because you have piles of paper on your desk doesn’t mean that you aren’t organized. Measure your organizing skills by how long it takes you to find things, or how often you lose things. Obviously its more pleasant to work in a clean work environment, but that’s a blog post for a different day. As long you are able to find what you need when you need it, don’t be afraid to have things out where you can see them.

Writer Organizing Tip #2 – Use Containers and Labels

The bad news is that being organized requires setting limits on the areas we have to search and flagging items so they can be easily found. The two tools that help us do this are containers and labels. These are also the core philosophies (and the core differences) in the way the Microsoft and Google approach organization.

Microsoft Windows was designed to be a digital desktop replacement. It has a desktop, and a series of containers just like your real office has file cabinets/drawers/file folders, etc.  So when you’re done with your manuscript, you file it under MyDocuments/Writing/Manuscripts/2011/RejectedByEveryone/Twice. Later when you go to look for it, you navigate through the containers to the folder “where it oughta be” and there it is.

Google approached organization in a different way. “If we can search through everything to find what we’re looking for really quickly,” they thought, “then why bother to separate things when we put them away? We’ll just tag things with labels to look for later and throw them all in a big pile!” Using this system, we search for [MyDocuments Writing Manuscripts 2011 RejectedByEveryone Twice] and there it is.

Regardless of which you prefer, Containers and Labels serve the same purpose: to help us find things later on. Unless you have a perfect memory, you will need these tools to be organized.

Containers and Labels sound like tools made by left-brainers for left-brainers, but here’s actually where creative people like writers and authors have an advantage. Creative people are able to see containers as an abstract thing instead of a bunch of boxes you buy from IKEA:

• A calendar can be a container for appointments
• Your cell phone can be a container for all your contact information
• A room of your house can be a container for manuscripts
• A computer can be a container for digital documents
• A website you log into can be a container too.  For example, gmail.com is a container for e-mails.

In fact, you are already organized to some extent. Your manuscripts are already in a container called Planet Earth. It’s just going to take you a few thousand years to search it, but if that’s not an unreasonable amount of time, then congratulations! You’re organized.

For most of us, a few thousand years is about how long it’s going to take to hear back from our agent, and certainly an ‘unreasonable’ time, so we’ll need to narrow the boundaries on where our important documents are kept (container) and paint them bright orange (label)  so we can find them in a more reasonable amount of time.

Writer Organizing Tip #3 – Outsource the Search

Wouldn’t it be great if you had a house-elf (lets call him Dobby) that you could send to fetch your manuscripts, notes and character bios for you? Would you care what the filing system was? Would you care if Dobby had to run down a slippery circular staircase with only a torch for light and fight off a hungry dragon to get your manuscript that was filed underneath the cat’s sandbox?

Hells No! As long as Dobby was able to return it in a reasonable amount of time, you wouldn’t care. You’d just throw all your documents down the laundry chute and be done with it! The best part is that you would STILL be organized!

Well, if you are able to get your info into a digital format, you’re in luck. Because there are Dobbys all over the digital world. They’re called Search. Your operating system has a search feature to help you find files on your hard drive. I think every e-mail program has a built-in search feature, and if yours doesn’t then you need a new e-mail program. If you store stuff in EverNote, WordPress, Gmail, Google Docs, etc… then you have plenty of little Dobbys just waiting around to find things for you. Take advantage of them and let them do the search work for you.

Writer Organizing Tip #4 – Don’t put things where they belong. Put them where YOU will look for them

“I don’t believe it! There she goes again! She’s tidied up and I can’t find anything!”

-She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby

If that sounds familiar, then this tip will help you a lot: When you put something away, don’t automatically put it “where it goes.” Instead, put it where you will go to find it when you need it later on.

Would you store a cookbook in the kitchen? For left-brainers, sure. But for right-brained types, it might just as well be near your desk where you make the grocery list, or in the bookshelf with the other books, or on the nightstand because you like to read the chocolate fondue instructions aloud during intercourse. One of the authors from my writer’s group keeps her dental floss in the living room where it’s easily accessible while watching TV. A good rule of thumb is to put the thing near to where you will actually use it.

This goes for labeling too. When labeling things, make sure to use labels that you will look for later. For example, all the email fan letters I get from Suzanne Vega I tag with:

• Fan Mail
• Superstar
• To be read aloud while making chocolate fondue

So when putting things away, don’t think about putting this thing away. Instead, think about looking for this thing later. That will help you determine how to label it and what container to put it in, which will help you to be more organized.

Writer Organizing Tip #5 – Three FREE Programs To Help You Get Organized

Evernote

Evernote works great as a container for story ideas, outlines, research, marketing info, and much, much more.  Read this blog post about how Evernote rocks for authors.

Gmail

There are plenty of e-mail clients out there, but a Gmail account gets you a LOT more than just  e-mail:

• Use Gmail contacts as a container for all your contact info.
• Use the Gmail calendar to contain your schedule and appointments (Bonus Tip: Set up SMS messaging for important events. I do this for birthdays and appointments, and receive a text reminder on my cell phone.)
• Use Google docs instead of Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint, then your documents are contained and organized for you.
• Your Gmail account also gives you access to Picassa, Google’s online picture organizing software
• Google Reader makes a great container for RSS feeds and podcasts
• Of course, all of these services come with labeling and search features to help you get and stay organized

SugarSync

There are many free file-backup software services: SugarSync, Dropbox, Mozy and more. But any of them can act as a container for your important documents, manuscripts, photos and other data files. Read my review of SugarSync vs Dropbox for all the reasons why you want this FREE software.

Rejoice

Does this mean you can just throw all your manuscripts, notes, and character bios into a single folder (or a single program like EverNote) and call yourself organized? Does this mean you can have stacks of paper on your desk and still call yourself organized?

Hells Yes. As long as you can find things in a reasonable amount of time, you no longer have to feel guilty calling yourself an organized writer.

So rejoice all you authors, writers and right-brained friends! Putting together a system of organization is easier than you think. It’s keeping things IN the system that’s a challenge. It requires willpower and motivation, which are topics for another day.

If you have any useful organizing tips for writers/authors, drop them in the comments section.

A great website for a great cause, http://www.circusofbrassandbone.com is an online serial-story by fellow MNSpec author, Abra Staffin Wiebe.

The Story

The Circus of Brass and Bone is a steampunk fiction story set primarily in 1800′s America. Although, since the main source of power in this alternate reality is aether and not steam, it’s more accurately labeled as aetherpunk.

From the website:

After the collapse of civilization, the show goes on….

The Cause

Abra’s mom is in some dire straits. She has an advanced cancer compounded by no job and no savings. You can read more about her situation here, but the upshot is that Abra is releasing The Circus of Brass and Bone on a “Pay What You Can” basis in order to raise funds to help offset her medical expenses.

What YOU can do to Help:

1-Read

Check out Episode One: Everyone Dies or listen to the podcast. You’ll find out just what a great writer Abra is.

2-Connect

Subscribe to the podcast, get on the e-mail list, friend up the facebook fan site. Check out the links below, so you don’t miss any of the upcoming episodes.

3-Donate

Seriously, Abra’s mom needs your help. Skip your daily Grande Mocha Frappuccino and toss a couple bucks towards a good cause.  Click here to Donate directly to Abra Staffin Wiebe through PayPal.

4-Share

Blog, Twit, Stumble, Digg, Friend, Comment and Like the hell out of this.

Links

• The Circus of Brass and Bone Website – Note, the e-mail list signup form can be found here.
• RSS Feed for each Episode
• The Circus of Brass and Bone Facebook Fan Page

Yours Darkly,

-Zero

A look at “Midwest Self-Importance”

At the monthly MNSpec writer’s group meeting, I submitted several chapters of my Urban Fantasy manuscript “Evil Looks Good” for the group critique. The bulk of the story occurs in Minneapolis and the surrounding area. My choice of story location struck one critiquer as concerning. She said she didn’t have a problem with me writing a story based in Minneapolis. (“Write what you know,” she said.) But she made it clear that others would.

I quote the following directly from her written critique (All emphasis, caps and quotes are hers)

…be prepared for this to be a tougher sell to NY agents/publishers. Have a damn good reason why it HAS to be in Minneapolis, and can’t be in NY or LA or somewhere more “exotic”.

She also informed me that people from the East Coast and the West Coast believe people in the Midwest to be narcissistic about their homeland. I think she called it the trait of “Midwest Self-Importance”.

Pot. Kettle. Black. Anyway, to sum up her general points:

• People living in the Midwest think that the Midwest is important
• NY editors do not agree. To them, the Midwest is not important, interesting, or exotic, and stories need a reason to occur there.
• NY editors prefer stories set in NY/LA or other “exotic” locations, unless there is a real reason to have them happen elsewhere.

A Study In Narcissism

While driving back from the critique, I decided to give her advice a charitable interpretation.

“New York editors! What a bunch of narrow-minded fill-in-the-blanks!” (Yes, I actually said “fill-in-the-blanks”) “Who do they think they are, putting down the Midwest?  Flyover Land my ass. Who cares what a bunch of pretentious New Yorkers and Californians think…”

That’s about as far as my ‘charitable interpretation’ got when the world hit me with one of those grandly ironic and disconcerting moments that the Zen Buddhists try so hard to cultivate.  I was treating those editors EXACTLY the same way she told me they would treat me.

That, my friends, is the sound of one hand clapping.

So after that refreshing micro-enlightenment, I was able to a attempt an even more charitable interpretation.

Midwestern pride aside, few will disagree that New York and Los Angeles have a sense of local self-importance that pretty much trumps all others.  Write about yourself much? Make movies about yourself much? So perhaps we can chalk up all this talk of local pride to the more global reality that everyone thinks that where they choose to live is important.

But the existence of the term “Flyover Land” makes it clear the coastal cities look down on the In-Between as someplace you fly over to get somewhere important. In retaliation, the Midwest adopted the term “Third Coast” shows that Midwesterners think they are just as important as the bookends protecting them from the oceans.

On reflection, I’d say it isn’t so much that the Midwest has a case of Self-Importance. It’s more true to say that the Midwesterners don’t buy into NY and LA treating the Midwest as unimportant. It’s easy to see how this can be mis-perceived as arrogance.

Seriously. Why would you set your fiction story in Minneapolis?

I could have set my story anywhere. New York, Los Angeles, Pluto… location cost me nothing. So why Minneapolis?

Because NY and LA aren’t as exotic as you think

By definition, “exotic” is something we don’t see or hear much of. That pretty much un-exotics NY and LA. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m tired of stories that happen in LA/NY.

San Francisco and Washington, DC too. Yawn.

Because diversity rules, Baby

It makes me sad that American media is dominated by so few cities. There’s more to France than just Paris. There’s more to Germany than just Berlin. And there’s more to the United States than just New York and Los Angeles. It’s like someone judging your entire high-school graduating class based on meeting the prom king and queen.

Ick. Embrace diversity.

Because Minneapolis isn’t as un-exotic as you think.

Think all the creatives live on the coast? Think again. In March 2008, Americans for the Arts compiled a “Creative Industries 2008″ report. From pages 10 and 11:

Arts Businesses per 1000 residents

Arts Employees per 1000 residents

For a city with more art per-capita than NY or LA, Minneapolis is severely under-represented in media, and I’m doing my part to help correct that.

I chose Minneapolis as the setting for my story because it’s the Cinderella of the U.S.A. – a gem of a city, under-valued and under-appreciated by its wicked, coastal stepsisters.

-Conrad Zero

Oh yes, and we have the Mall of America too. Just sayin’.

Because Location is a Spice

Can you imagine the Spider-Man movies taking place in Chicago? St. Paul? Milwaukee? Yep. Would that ruin them? Nope. In many stories like these, the location is just a backdrop that adds flavor, but isn’t directly tied to the story.

Am I saying that a city is a city is a city? Sometimes. I am saying you’d be hard pressed to tell one downtown from another during a ninja sword fight against giant, carnivorous, poisonous, exploding spider-leeches.

There are examples where the story location is tied to the story and can’t be changed. If your story is about the President of the United States at work, then your story has to include the location of Washington, DC. But more often than not, the location can be just a spice in the stew. An essential ingredient, but there are many to choose from.

Because of the Miracle of Find/Replace

Let’s suppose that there are editors out there who love Love LOVE New York and hate Hate HATE Murderapolis Minneapolis. Fair enough. In fact, it’s probably true.

But any editor with two IQ points to rub together will be familiar with the terminology “Find/Replace”. This refers to the ability of word-processing software to take any particular word, term, or phrase and replace it with anything you like.

With this in mind, would an editor really reject your story because the main character has red hair and not blonde/black? Drinks RC cola instead of Coke/Pepsi?  Lives in Minneapolis instead of NY/LA? Doubtful.

Editors must have X-ray vision. They need to see right into the guts of the story, and if the heart and liver are good, but they don’t like the spleen, then the editor knows it can be replaced. If an editor loves your plot, pacing and dialog, but doesn’t like your protagonist’s eye-color, occupation or hometown… Find/Replace. If they can’t see the story inside the story, then I don’t really want them as my editor. Would you?

Because authors should “Write What You Know”

We’ve all heard the writer’s advice to “write what you know.”  To be fair, the critiquer I mentioned earlier did admit to this herself, and suggested a ‘solution’ for polluting my story with the Midwest. She said there has to be a reason that the story takes place in Minneapolis and couldn’t take place anywhere else.

This is really good advice. Something all writers should think about. Reminds me of the advice to treat the location like a character in your story.

But my story could take place in any city, so why would I research the geography and climate of Los Angeles when I can write pages of geography and climate about the city I know?

合計 (In Summation)

Stories have to happen someplace, and one of every author’s goals is to make the reader ‘see’ that place. But is the success or failure of a story tied to where it takes place? Will it really make your story a hard sell because some N.Y. editors don’t know how to spell Minneapolis? I don’t think so.

As a reader, I care more about the feel of the location than the location itself. A location is important. THE location… not as much.  Hells,  if Stephen King can write stories based in Bangor, Maine, then I can write stories based in Minneapolis.

I chose Minneapolis as the setting for my story because it’s the Cinderella of the U.S.A. – a gem of a city, under-valued and under-appreciated by its wicked, coastal stepsisters .

Do I have a case of “my hometown is important too?” Clearly. But doesn’t everyone? What do you think? Drop your thoughts in the comments.

Today the MNSpec writer’s group gave me feedback on my story ‘Pinky, The Invisible Flying Pony Who Saves The World.’

Overall, people appreciated it for the mindless bit of fluff that it is – a dark parody, mashing Lovecraftian Evil with a children’s story. But there were several useful points drawn to my attention which could be used to improve the story:

Conrad, your- punctuation? Sucks.

I was aware of this already but it never hurts to be reminded. Actually it does kind of hurt but it’s the good kind of hurt – the kind easily remedied if someone would only read a gorram book on punctuation. Or hire a quality proofreader. Or even a budget proofreader.

How old are Payton and her peers?

The story mentions that the main character, Payton enjoys Spongebob Squarepants and ‘…running through the sprinkler on sunny days…’ which would make one think she was just a little kid. But Payton does have some unsupervised internet activity, and some language which would make one think she’s slightly older.

Guess I never really thought about how old Payton is, because it isn’t important to the story. She’s a kid. She likes cartoons. She rides the bus to school. But the consensus of MNSpec was that a more specific age is important to some readers because it allows them to paint her picture more vividly in their minds.  I’ll  specify which grade Payton and her friends are in, which will give readers a more accurate fix on the character’s ages.

Evisceration (part I) – Gaa!

I kind of figured the word ‘evisceration’ would add a bit of shock factor to the story. I hate being right. Unfortunately readers weren’t shocked so much by the fact that an evisceration occurred, they were shocked that an evisceration occurred in a book they assumed was a children’s story. The opening of Pinky was pretty Dick & Jane, and the descent into horror was a slow one, but The E Word was a harsh jump.  My bad. Readers understood my intent in the genre-shift because they read the story through to the end, but the  average reader would quickly toss it in the I Don’t Read Children’s Stories pile, long before they got to the E-word.

Definitely something I have to fix. One person suggested adding a subtitle reflecting the Non-Kiddishness of the book.  More than one person suggested a bit of foreshadowing right away, to lock-in the story genre from the beginning.

Evisceration (part II) – Let the punishment fit the crime

There are those who feel that bullies who pick on other kids, beat up other kids, take their lunch money and the like, shouldn’t be eviscerated. What a horrible thing to do!

Maybe not. But then again, nice quiet kids who wouldn’t dream of hurting anyone shouldn’t be bullied. What a horrible thing to do!

Most of the time, the bully gets away with it. But sometimes, the victim comes back to school with a gun, or an Invisible Flying Pony who is disturbingly adept at performing eviscerations.

Society considers the poor kid getting bullied, smiles knowingly, and says “Sucks to be you, but life’s not fair.”

I consider the poor bully getting eviscerated, smile knowingly, and say “Sucks to be you, but sometimes, life is a little too fair.”

Invisible Flying Ponies Can’t Do That!

Sifting through the fridge for a can of Squeezy-Cheese? Moving a dead body around like it was a zombie? Evisceration?

Invisible Flying Ponies don’t have hands!

You’re right. They don’t.

So they can’t do those things!

You’re right. They can’t.

Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

Overall,

I’m happy with the way Pinky was received. People loved the characters and they all got a good laugh out of it. Everyone loved the title, and even the mere suggestion to change the title started an uprising. I thought the guy suggesting the change might get eviscerated by the group. Or worse.

I’ll implement some of the suggested changes, and put one more coat of gloss on the story, (including a high-quality proofreading) then turn Pinky out to the public.  I haven’t quite decided on the method of distribution, but members of the Cult of Zero will receive a free copy of the e-book.

-Z

As mentioned in a previous post, I’ve joined forces with MNSpec – the Speculative Fiction writers group. For July’s writing review, I entered the short story “Yellow King” – a prequel which introduces the characters and mythos of my upcoming novel, “The Demonslayer’s Handbook”.

The writer’s group met last Sunday and I was one of five authors on the critique hot-seat. If I learned one thing, it’s that getting honest criticism of your work is awkward. And sifting out good criticism from bad is difficult.

Wait, that’s two things I learned.

Actually, I learned a lot.

A Kick in the Balls… or not?

Opinions differed about many aspects of my story, but none as interesting as the division of opinions about our hero Nix kicking some jerk in the balls. There seemed to be no middle ground on this one. Half the group felt it was cliche and trite. The other half thought it was completely understandable and in-character.

My reasoning behind writing the kick-in-the-balls scene:

• I needed to disable the jerk character, and make sure he didn’t leave the scene, or put up resistance.
• It helps define the hero’s attitude.
• The hero needed a vehicle to make a hasty getaway. After kicking said jerk in the balls, the hero takes his keys.

Kicking him in the balls accomplishes these goals swimmingly, and has the following added bonus features:

• Most people know the effects of kicking someone in the balls (even those who haven’t experienced it firsthand) making it a very efficient narrative. One sentence conveys it all.
• It adds a touch of comic relief.
• It insinuates some sexual domination of the hero over the jerk.

The major drawback is that enough people (almost 50%) felt it was cliche enough to mention so in the critique. The majority of those who thought kicking a guy in the balls was cliche were women. Then again, the majority of the members of the MNSpec critique group were women.  I’ll let you make your own inferences.

I’ve decided that I’ll see if I can write up an action that disables the jerk, defines the hero,  and doesn’t take up much real estate in the story… without the cliche kick to the scrotum.

Inject the Venom… or not?

Another discussion that ensued was about our Hero ending an argument with her friend by injecting him with a drug that makes him pass out.  Some found this action impossible to justify, and some had no problem with it.

The argument was very similar to the argument about the hero kicking someone in the balls. Those against the action said that it was unnecessary – the hero could simply leave of her own accord. She’s an adult and doesn’t need to knock out this other character and run away. It was labeled ‘aggressively passive-aggressive’ behavior. Although like I said, some people thought it worked just fine.

In this case, I’d have to agree with voting it off the island. It was quick and easy to write. Simpler and faster to dodge the issue than talk about it at length.  I’ll change it, but I’m not exactly thrilled. Why? Because I’m writing an action/adventure story, not a fucking Throap like…

…Buffy The Vampire Slayer

It’s bound to happen.  Write a story about a kick-ass heroine, and the comparisons spew out like beer at a Nascar rally:

• Underworld
• Tomb Raider
• Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter
• V.I. Warshawski
• Buffy The Vampire Slayer
• Know more? Add them to the comments.

Alright, no one really compared my story to V.I. Warshawski. But I learned that I dislike my work being compared to hack TV shows that I’ve never seen. I guess if the genre is popular enough to be lumped into, then there must be a hell of a market.

I suspect that no matter what genre you write in (or what art you create for that matter) there will always be those who have to lump it in with all similar works. Guess I just need to get used to it.

Other Wisdoms

There were some things that everyone agreed on. They liked the pacing. They liked the fight scenes, even people who admitted they didn’t ordinarily like fight scenes, which I took as high praise. They all liked the description of the abandoned medical facility. Everyone liked the main character, Nix.

There were unanimous #EpicFails. Not searching characters for weapons once they are captured is a faux pas. Having weapons easily accessible; ditto. Handily-placed-syringes-labeled-in-the-Queen’s-English is frowned upon.

I don’t agree with all the critiques. Someone said that in a short story I should only have one thing blowing up in a fiery ball of fire and probably not at the start of the story. Obviously, this person has never seen a Michael Bay film.

Someone mockingly pointed out my instances of “Purple Prose” meaning phrases that are, “sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context”. Point taken, and I appreciate the observation, if not the tone, which was a bit purple itself. I’m trying to take all criticism with a pound of salt, but my editor Sue might be right – she tells me that writers are cursed with terribly thin skin.

One suggestion was for me to ditch the fight scene at the beginning and start several pages into the existing story, with our main character in motion. I might do just that because it makes good sense for the work by itself. I have to remember that it’s detached from the full work. Once the short story becomes integrated into the full work (possibly in a later edition) I’ll likely add the fight scene back in. It means I have to rework the motivation for our hero to leave home.

The biggest praise came from the group organizer Hillary, who said I should try to sell the story before releasing it on the internet for free. I was surprised that anyone thought it worthy of publication. Another person said it had a “pulp sensibility” which I’ll take as a complement.

All in all, there’s plenty of resource in the massive stack of sequoia-killing redlined manuscripts I brought home from the group critique. I’ll rewrite “Yellow King” and pass it along to an editor, then release it for FREE either later this year or early in 2010. Those who are interested in reading it should sign up for the newsletter, or keep checking back here on the blog – you’ll be the first to know.

A couple months ago I joined MNSpec also known as the Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers Group. They’re a great group of people I found through meetup.com

What is Speculative Fiction?

You can read the wikipedia entry here, but I think the term was invented to handle stories that included both elements of Fantasy and Sci-Fi. What genre label can you put on a book that has dragons fighting against military spaceships?  Time-traveling elves?

Speculative Fiction solves that problem by encompassing many genres: Urban Fantasy, Magical Realism, Steampunk, Supernatural, Horror, Dark Fiction, and many others.  The less your writing is about the normal world, the more likely it is to be embraced by Speculative Fiction.

Writers Group Discussions:

The writer’s group has several functions. First, there are discussions based around the subject of writing/publishing. These discussions would benefit any writer, not just writers of Speculative Fiction.

The latest group discussion focused on the beginning of your story (aka: the Hook). The group organizer brought examples of famous story openings and we talked through whether we thought they were good or bad, and why.

Topics for future discussions are often brought up by suggestions.  Next month’s discussion is “What authors do you love/hate and why?”

[Update: I've given a presentation on Organizing for Writers, and co-hosted a panel on Social Networking for Authors.]

Writers Group Critiques:

The primary function of the group is critique. People submit their writings to the group website.  The group reads and critiques the submissions, highlighting mistakes, pointing out logical errors, mentioning things that were confusing and things they liked/didn’t like. Word count of submissions is limited to 10,000 words, so people often post short stories or sections of larger works. The number of submissions is also limited each month.

The more you … participate with the mindset of helping others to become better writers and letting others help you to become a better writer, the more you’ll get out of it.

Once per month, the group gathers and we go around the room, each person presents their critique to the submitting authors. Each author is expected to bite their tongue until each critter has had their say. Critters are limited to 3 min each. When the critters are finished, then the author has their chance to thank, explain and rebuke the critiques.

At first blush, it sounds like an opportunity for a new author to get seriously lambasted by a snake pit of experienced writers. That would depend on the members of the group, and I can tell you that our group is very positive and supportive. Very few things get thrown, and the only weapon I’ve seen available is a stuffed snake. In other words, no one is mean and no one gets hurt. The more you are able to check your ego at the door and participate with the mindset of helping others to become better writers and letting others help you to become a better writer, the more you’ll get out of it.

Other Benefits of a Writer’s Group:

Getting diverse and objective opinions on your work is only part of what writers groups provide.

Groups like MNSpec are the “writing community.” They truly understand what it means when you say you finished your story, or got accepted, or published, or rejected. Someone else at the meeting has the same questions you do. Someone else probably has the answer because they had that same question before.

Writers groups will test your public speaking skills. If you are nervous speaking in public, here’s your chance to practice with a limited and sympathetic audience.

Members will share and discuss opportunities and events going on in the local community. Author readings, radio interviews, newspaper articles and more; if it’s going on in your area, the author’s group is the grapevine for spreading that news.

The submission deadlines of the group are… deadlines. They will help to motivate you, if you are the kind of person who needs deadlines to get motivated.  And the knowledge that your writing will be read by others will make you realize that you are NOT writing for yourself.

Another advantage of critiquing the work of others is that it sharpens up your Inner Editor. When you re-read your own material looking for errors or ways to make it better you are really Editing. Evaluating other peoples work gives your Inner Editor the skills to do a good job on your own work later.

What if there isn’t a Writer’s Group in my Community?

Trick Question. If there isn’t a writer’s group in your area, then YOU START ONE.

Meetup.com is painfully simple to use. Yahoo Groups too. Craigslist, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter. Need I say more? If you can write an e-mail then you can start a writers group. And if you can’t write an e-mail, that’s a skill you might want to work on before you go starting a writers group.

But don’t forget to look in the real world, at people and groups in your local area. If you’re in school, I bet your English Dept would be thrilled to support a writer’s group. Post something at your workplace, or local bookstore or coffee shop. Think of places readers and writers would hang out in your area.

The trick is to pick a neutral meeting ground. Don’t hold meetings at your house. It could be someplace as obvious as your local fast-food hangout or coffee shop, or the local library. Libraries often have community rooms that are free to use.

If you have more writers group tips or suggestions, leave a comment. To learn more about the Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers Group, go to their website:  Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers.