Conrad Zero

A look at “Midwest Self-Importance”

At the monthly MNSpec writer’s group meeting, I submitted several chapters of my Urban Fantasy manuscript “Evil Looks Good” for the group critique. The bulk of the story occurs in Minneapolis and the surrounding area. My choice of story location struck one critiquer as concerning. She said she didn’t have a problem with me writing a story based in Minneapolis. (“Write what you know,” she said.) But she made it clear that others would.

I quote the following directly from her written critique (All emphasis, caps and quotes are hers)

…be prepared for this to be a tougher sell to NY agents/publishers. Have a damn good reason why it HAS to be in Minneapolis, and can’t be in NY or LA or somewhere more “exotic”.

She also informed me that people from the East Coast and the West Coast believe people in the Midwest to be narcissistic about their homeland. I think she called it the trait of “Midwest Self-Importance”.

Pot. Kettle. Black. Anyway, to sum up her general points:

• People living in the Midwest think that the Midwest is important
• NY editors do not agree. To them, the Midwest is not important, interesting, or exotic, and stories need a reason to occur there.
• NY editors prefer stories set in NY/LA or other “exotic” locations, unless there is a real reason to have them happen elsewhere.

A Study In Narcissism

While driving back from the critique, I decided to give her advice a charitable interpretation.

“New York editors! What a bunch of narrow-minded fill-in-the-blanks!” (Yes, I actually said “fill-in-the-blanks”) “Who do they think they are, putting down the Midwest?  Flyover Land my ass. Who cares what a bunch of pretentious New Yorkers and Californians think…”

That’s about as far as my ‘charitable interpretation’ got when the world hit me with one of those grandly ironic and disconcerting moments that the Zen Buddhists try so hard to cultivate.  I was treating those editors EXACTLY the same way she told me they would treat me.

That, my friends, is the sound of one hand clapping.

So after that refreshing micro-enlightenment, I was able to a attempt an even more charitable interpretation.

Midwestern pride aside, few will disagree that New York and Los Angeles have a sense of local self-importance that pretty much trumps all others.  Write about yourself much? Make movies about yourself much? So perhaps we can chalk up all this talk of local pride to the more global reality that everyone thinks that where they choose to live is important.

But the existence of the term “Flyover Land” makes it clear the coastal cities look down on the In-Between as someplace you fly over to get somewhere important. In retaliation, the Midwest adopted the term “Third Coast” shows that Midwesterners think they are just as important as the bookends protecting them from the oceans.

On reflection, I’d say it isn’t so much that the Midwest has a case of Self-Importance. It’s more true to say that the Midwesterners don’t buy into NY and LA treating the Midwest as unimportant. It’s easy to see how this can be mis-perceived as arrogance.

Seriously. Why would you set your fiction story in Minneapolis?

I could have set my story anywhere. New York, Los Angeles, Pluto… location cost me nothing. So why Minneapolis?

Because NY and LA aren’t as exotic as you think

By definition, “exotic” is something we don’t see or hear much of. That pretty much un-exotics NY and LA. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m tired of stories that happen in LA/NY.

San Francisco and Washington, DC too. Yawn.

Because diversity rules, Baby

It makes me sad that American media is dominated by so few cities. There’s more to France than just Paris. There’s more to Germany than just Berlin. And there’s more to the United States than just New York and Los Angeles. It’s like someone judging your entire high-school graduating class based on meeting the prom king and queen.

Ick. Embrace diversity.

Because Minneapolis isn’t as un-exotic as you think.

Think all the creatives live on the coast? Think again. In March 2008, Americans for the Arts compiled a “Creative Industries 2008″ report. From pages 10 and 11:

Arts Businesses per 1000 residents

Arts Employees per 1000 residents

For a city with more art per-capita than NY or LA, Minneapolis is severely under-represented in media, and I’m doing my part to help correct that.

I chose Minneapolis as the setting for my story because it’s the Cinderella of the U.S.A. – a gem of a city, under-valued and under-appreciated by its wicked, coastal stepsisters.

-Conrad Zero

Oh yes, and we have the Mall of America too. Just sayin’.

Because Location is a Spice

Can you imagine the Spider-Man movies taking place in Chicago? St. Paul? Milwaukee? Yep. Would that ruin them? Nope. In many stories like these, the location is just a backdrop that adds flavor, but isn’t directly tied to the story.

Am I saying that a city is a city is a city? Sometimes. I am saying you’d be hard pressed to tell one downtown from another during a ninja sword fight against giant, carnivorous, poisonous, exploding spider-leeches.

There are examples where the story location is tied to the story and can’t be changed. If your story is about the President of the United States at work, then your story has to include the location of Washington, DC. But more often than not, the location can be just a spice in the stew. An essential ingredient, but there are many to choose from.

Because of the Miracle of Find/Replace

Let’s suppose that there are editors out there who love Love LOVE New York and hate Hate HATE Murderapolis Minneapolis. Fair enough. In fact, it’s probably true.

But any editor with two IQ points to rub together will be familiar with the terminology “Find/Replace”. This refers to the ability of word-processing software to take any particular word, term, or phrase and replace it with anything you like.

With this in mind, would an editor really reject your story because the main character has red hair and not blonde/black? Drinks RC cola instead of Coke/Pepsi?  Lives in Minneapolis instead of NY/LA? Doubtful.

Editors must have X-ray vision. They need to see right into the guts of the story, and if the heart and liver are good, but they don’t like the spleen, then the editor knows it can be replaced. If an editor loves your plot, pacing and dialog, but doesn’t like your protagonist’s eye-color, occupation or hometown… Find/Replace. If they can’t see the story inside the story, then I don’t really want them as my editor. Would you?

Because authors should “Write What You Know”

We’ve all heard the writer’s advice to “write what you know.”  To be fair, the critiquer I mentioned earlier did admit to this herself, and suggested a ’solution’ for polluting my story with the Midwest. She said there has to be a reason that the story takes place in Minneapolis and couldn’t take place anywhere else.

This is really good advice. Something all writers should think about. Reminds me of the advice to treat the location like a character in your story.

But my story could take place in any city, so why would I research the geography and climate of Los Angeles when I can write pages of geography and climate about the city I know?

合計 (In Summation)

Stories have to happen someplace, and one of every author’s goals is to make the reader ’see’ that place. But is the success or failure of a story tied to where it takes place? Will it really make your story a hard sell because some N.Y. editors don’t know how to spell Minneapolis? I don’t think so.

As a reader, I care more about the feel of the location than the location itself. A location is important. THE location… not as much.  Hells,  if Stephen King can write stories based in Bangor, Maine, then I can write stories based in Minneapolis.

I chose Minneapolis as the setting for my story because it’s the Cinderella of the U.S.A. – a gem of a city, under-valued and under-appreciated by its wicked, coastal stepsisters .

Do I have a case of “my hometown is important too?” Clearly. But doesn’t everyone? What do you think? Drop your thoughts in the comments.

Today the MNSpec writer’s group gave me feedback on my story ‘Pinky, The Invisible Flying Pony Who Saves The World.’

Overall, people appreciated it for the mindless bit of fluff that it is – a dark parody, mashing Lovecraftian Evil with a children’s story. But there were several useful points drawn to my attention which could be used to improve the story:

Conrad, your- punctuation? Sucks.

I was aware of this already but it never hurts to be reminded. Actually it does kind of hurt but it’s the good kind of hurt – the kind easily remedied if someone would only read a gorram book on punctuation. Or hire a quality proofreader. Or even a budget proofreader.

How old are Payton and her peers?

The story mentions that the main character, Payton enjoys Spongebob Squarepants and ‘…running through the sprinkler on sunny days…’ which would make one think she was just a little kid. But Payton does have some unsupervised internet activity, and some language which would make one think she’s slightly older.

Guess I never really thought about how old Payton is, because it isn’t important to the story. She’s a kid. She likes cartoons. She rides the bus to school. But the consensus of MNSpec was that a more specific age is important to some readers because it allows them to paint her picture more vividly in their minds.  I’ll  specify which grade Payton and her friends are in, which will give readers a more accurate fix on the character’s ages.

Evisceration (part I) – Gaa!

I kind of figured the word ‘evisceration’ would add a bit of shock factor to the story. I hate being right. Unfortunately readers weren’t shocked so much by the fact that an evisceration occurred, they were shocked that an evisceration occurred in a book they assumed was a children’s story. The opening of Pinky was pretty Dick & Jane, and the descent into horror was a slow one, but The E Word was a harsh jump.  My bad. Readers understood my intent in the genre-shift because they read the story through to the end, but the  average reader would quickly toss it in the I Don’t Read Children’s Stories pile, long before they got to the E-word.

Definitely something I have to fix. One person suggested adding a subtitle reflecting the Non-Kiddishness of the book.  More than one person suggested a bit of foreshadowing right away, to lock-in the story genre from the beginning.

Evisceration (part II) – Let the punishment fit the crime

There are those who feel that bullies who pick on other kids, beat up other kids, take their lunch money and the like, shouldn’t be eviscerated. What a horrible thing to do!

Maybe not. But then again, nice quiet kids who wouldn’t dream of hurting anyone shouldn’t be bullied. What a horrible thing to do!

Most of the time, the bully gets away with it. But sometimes, the victim comes back to school with a gun, or an Invisible Flying Pony who is disturbingly adept at performing eviscerations.

Society considers the poor kid getting bullied, smiles knowingly, and says “Sucks to be you, but life’s not fair.”

I consider the poor bully getting eviscerated, smile knowingly, and say “Sucks to be you, but sometimes, life is a little too fair.”

Invisible Flying Ponies Can’t Do That!

Sifting through the fridge for a can of Squeezy-Cheese? Moving a dead body around like it was a zombie? Evisceration?

Invisible Flying Ponies don’t have hands!

You’re right. They don’t.

So they can’t do those things!

You’re right. They can’t.

Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

Overall,

I’m happy with the way Pinky was received. People loved the characters and they all got a good laugh out of it. Everyone loved the title, and even the mere suggestion to change the title started an uprising. I thought the guy suggesting the change might get eviscerated by the group. Or worse.

I’ll implement some of the suggested changes, and put one more coat of gloss on the story, (including a high-quality proofreading) then turn Pinky out to the public.  I haven’t quite decided on the method of distribution, but members of the Cult of Zero will receive a free copy of the e-book.

-Z

As mentioned in a previous post, I’ve joined forces with MNSpec – the Speculative Fiction writers group. For July’s writing review, I entered the short story “Yellow King” – a prequel which introduces the characters and mythos of my upcoming novel, “The Demonslayer’s Handbook”.

The writer’s group met last Sunday and I was one of five authors on the critique hot-seat. If I learned one thing, it’s that getting honest criticism of your work is awkward. And sifting out good criticism from bad is difficult.

Wait, that’s two things I learned.

Actually, I learned a lot.

A Kick in the Balls… or not?

Opinions differed about many aspects of my story, but none as interesting as the division of opinions about our hero Nix kicking some jerk in the balls. There seemed to be no middle ground on this one. Half the group felt it was cliche and trite. The other half thought it was completely understandable and in-character.

My reasoning behind writing the kick-in-the-balls scene:

• I needed to disable the jerk character, and make sure he didn’t leave the scene, or put up resistance.
• It helps define the hero’s attitude.
• The hero needed a vehicle to make a hasty getaway. After kicking said jerk in the balls, the hero takes his keys.

Kicking him in the balls accomplishes these goals swimmingly, and has the following added bonus features:

• Most people know the effects of kicking someone in the balls (even those who haven’t experienced it firsthand) making it a very efficient narrative. One sentence conveys it all.
• It adds a touch of comic relief.
• It insinuates some sexual domination of the hero over the jerk.

The major drawback is that enough people (almost 50%) felt it was cliche enough to mention so in the critique. The majority of those who thought kicking a guy in the balls was cliche were women. Then again, the majority of the members of the MNSpec critique group were women.  I’ll let you make your own inferences.

I’ve decided that I’ll see if I can write up an action that disables the jerk, defines the hero,  and doesn’t take up much real estate in the story… without the cliche kick to the scrotum.

Inject the Venom… or not?

Another discussion that ensued was about our Hero ending an argument with her friend by injecting him with a drug that makes him pass out.  Some found this action impossible to justify, and some had no problem with it.

The argument was very similar to the argument about the hero kicking someone in the balls. Those against the action said that it was unnecessary – the hero could simply leave of her own accord. She’s an adult and doesn’t need to knock out this other character and run away. It was labeled ‘aggressively passive-aggressive’ behavior. Although like I said, some people thought it worked just fine.

In this case, I’d have to agree with voting it off the island. It was quick and easy to write. Simpler and faster to dodge the issue than talk about it at length.  I’ll change it, but I’m not exactly thrilled. Why? Because I’m writing an action/adventure story, not a fucking Throap like…

…Buffy The Vampire Slayer

It’s bound to happen.  Write a story about a kick-ass heroine, and the comparisons spew out like beer at a Nascar rally:

• Underworld
• Tomb Raider
• Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter
• V.I. Warshawski
• Buffy The Vampire Slayer
• Know more? Add them to the comments.

Alright, no one really compared my story to V.I. Warshawski. But I learned that I dislike my work being compared to hack TV shows that I’ve never seen. I guess if the genre is popular enough to be lumped into, then there must be a hell of a market.

I suspect that no matter what genre you write in (or what art you create for that matter) there will always be those who have to lump it in with all similar works. Guess I just need to get used to it.

Other Wisdoms

There were some things that everyone agreed on. They liked the pacing. They liked the fight scenes, even people who admitted they didn’t ordinarily like fight scenes, which I took as high praise. They all liked the description of the abandoned medical facility. Everyone liked the main character, Nix.

There were unanimous #EpicFails. Not searching characters for weapons once they are captured is a faux pas. Having weapons easily accessible; ditto. Handily-placed-syringes-labeled-in-the-Queen’s-English is frowned upon.

I don’t agree with all the critiques. Someone said that in a short story I should only have one thing blowing up in a fiery ball of fire and probably not at the start of the story. Obviously, this person has never seen a Michael Bay film.

Someone mockingly pointed out my instances of “Purple Prose” meaning phrases that are, “sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context”. Point taken, and I appreciate the observation, if not the tone, which was a bit purple itself. I’m trying to take all criticism with a pound of salt, but my editor Sue might be right – she tells me that writers are cursed with terribly thin skin.

One suggestion was for me to ditch the fight scene at the beginning and start several pages into the existing story, with our main character in motion. I might do just that because it makes good sense for the work by itself. I have to remember that it’s detached from the full work. Once the short story becomes integrated into the full work (possibly in a later edition) I’ll likely add the fight scene back in. It means I have to rework the motivation for our hero to leave home.

The biggest praise came from the group organizer Hillary, who said I should try to sell the story before releasing it on the internet for free. I was surprised that anyone thought it worthy of publication. Another person said it had a “pulp sensibility” which I’ll take as a complement.

All in all, there’s plenty of resource in the massive stack of sequoia-killing redlined manuscripts I brought home from the group critique. I’ll rewrite “Yellow King” and pass it along to an editor, then release it for FREE either later this year or early in 2010. Those who are interested in reading it should sign up for the newsletter, or keep checking back here on the blog – you’ll be the first to know.