According to imdb, Sam Raimi decided to step back from directing 30 Days of Night and only act in a producing role. After seeing Spider-Man 3 I have to say…good call. I mean, I went to Spider-Man 3 to see comic book action, and got a shitload of Blubbering-Emo-Boy.

Finally, a vampire movie where vampires aren’t a bunch of pussies sitting around drinking wine with their pinkies out.

Finally, a vampire movie with (gasp!) scary vampires.

Finally, a movie where people make REALISTIC choices despite the abstract situation. They did what you or I would do under the same bizarre circumstances. Too many movies go so far over the top that it’s impossible to suspend your disbelief (or your gag reflex). 30 Days of Night ‘kept it real’ with a simple and tight story, and that kept the horror real. Sadly, this technique is the exception for American horror films.

30 Days of Night is Really graphic, I mean chopping someones head off with a dull axe…well, it’s pretty gritty, grim, dark and bloody; in other words a damn good horror film.

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Turns out Zombies have a keen fashion sense. Someone in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area started up a Zombie Fashion Show called Dead Sexy. And I missed it.

How come I only hear about these things after they happen?

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Looks like this Friday is the night to go if you were thinking of heading over to Crypticon, the Circus of Terror. Friday they will be showing some independent horror films. I don’t think I can swing the $25 to get in, nor the $20 if you buy tix online. I don’t know anyone who went last year, so I can’t tell you if it’s worth it or not.

If you went to Crypticon, or know someone who did, drop a comment here.

KTHXBYE,
-CZ

Black Sheep is one of those films that if you don’t “get” the premise, or think that a horror/comedy about genetically altered sheep in New Zealand that go on a bloody, man-eating rampage is funny, then you probably won’t like it.

The Special Effects crew are the wizards at WETA, whom you might remember from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, yes the effects are top-notch, (there’s even a tip-of-the-cap to older movie effects like “American Werewolf in London” and “The Howling” but the movie would have been just as good as a “B” horror flick with cheesy, lo-tech effects.

The idea pretty much sells itself – genetically mutated sheep become evil and attack humans. Humans bitten by the sheep become…weresheep. Before you laugh, know this: weresheep are actually kinda scary. And tough. Tall, too. So don’t dis them before you see Black Sheep

The movie was great fun, much like “Shawn of the Dead.” It was horrific like a horror/comedy should be, and funny like a horror/comedy should be. Just showing the sheep milling about with spooky music had the audience in stitches.

If you decide to go to the Lagoon Theatre in Minneapolis to see Black Sheep, make sure to stop by Bar Abilene and ask for Jill. Not only will three Tequila-Whiskey-Cokes help you enjoy the movie, but Jill is hands down the Greatest Server In The World. And try the house Guacamole made fresh right there at your table.

KTHXBYE,
-CZ

Die You Zombie Bastards! is…um… strange.

But I liked it.

But I’m strange, so that makes a strange sort of sense.

But you might not be strange, so you might not like it.

But you’re reading my blog, which makes it quite likely that you are strange, in which case, you might like it.

I can tell you that the movie is preposterous, and the hero is a serial killer / cannibal who wears a cape made of human flesh.

But that’s not really selling it, is it?

I can tell you that it contains naked hottie scientist cheerleaders with green breasts.

It’s a tough call. I guess I won’t recommend it to you, but I won’t NOT recommend it to you either (neither?).

Blog on,
-CZ

Its been a while since I’ve seen an original monster in a movie. With all the vampire/werewolf clones out there, The Host is a terrifying breath of fresh air.

The Host is a great movie, even if it does make Americans look like evil, polluting, cowboy bullies. [Editor's Note: We're Not?] The plot is simple, the characters are believable, the monster is incredible.

There were only two things that bothered me about the movie. First, the mix of the sound was strange. At times when there was no dialog or sound effects, the musical score was Obscenely Loud. This happened several times during the film, so I cannot believe it was an accident. The rest of the volume was fine, so it was not an issue with the theater sound system.

Also, the sense of humor felt odd to me. Some things I thought were funny…well, I’m not sure they were *intended* to be funny, if you know what I mean. The other way ’round too, some things I think were meant to be funny, but I didn’t get it. Then again, Humor is probably the most difficult thing to translate between cultures. But these are trivial issues.

Direction (by Bong Joon-ho) and pacing were good, and as I said, the story was uncomplicated. Great use of tension, you don’t just get handed the monster all at once like a Godzilla flick. By the time you really get a good look at the monster, you’re already terrified. In that respect, it does live up to the critic’s claim that The Host is “On a par with Jaws.”

Some people will let the subtitles dissuade them from seeing the movie in the theater. Fine, you cowards, then wait for the DVD. But if you love a good ‘creature feature’, you won’t want to pass this one up.

Blog on,
-CZ

Wikipedia has a List of Horror Film Killers, and looking through it, there are not as many different horror protagonists as you might think. (In horror film, anyways.)

They tend to fall into the following genre categories:

• Aliens
• Monsters
• Deranged Humans (Jason, Michael Meyers, etc…)
• Serial Killers (Hannibal, Zodiac, etc…)
• Undead/Zombies
• Inanimate Articles (Cars, Houses, Videotapes, Dolls…)
• Clowns
• Vampires

I was wondering why the Least frightening item on the list is the most popular. Vampires simply are not that scary. They are Gothic for sure, and that’s why I still enjoy the movies like Underworld or Blade. I try to understand the interest that found it’s Rennaisance with Anne Rice’s novels and Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

Which would you rather meet in a dark alley, a vampire, or one of the creatures from the movie Alien? Or a clown?

Horror genre should be horrifying! Terrifying! It literally should make your skin crawl! It doesn’t have to be a gore-fest, because gross is not the same thing as horror, and it doesn’t have to be a shock-fest because shock is not the same thing as horror, but it also not Buffy. My only explanation is that people want to have that little thrill rush which only being scared provides,but they can’t handle the real thing, so they settle for Diet-Horror, or Horror-Lite.

What do you think? Drop your comments below.

Scare on,
-CZ

Marilyn Manson has been working on quite a few things: Fashion Shows, Art Galleries, A New Album, A New Religion (Celebritarianism), Marriage, Lawsuits, a new line of Perfume…

…and a horror movie called Phantasmagoria:

I want to bring back the experiments in terror, which is actually a DVD that documents the attempts of 1944 filmmakers to insert subliminal elements. Whether in sound or in frames of the film, to enhance whatever tense or fear they’re looking to create at that moment in the film. I think technology allows me to go much further than that. I’m going to do a lot of things that may end up being illegal. Until they are, I will do them. I think it will change people’s opinion about horror films and they will realize they’re not all about slasher.

No insult to Rob Zombie; People might predict that to be the type of film I would make. That’s absolutely the opposite of what I want to do. That’s not an interest of mine, anyway. If I had to pick, stylistically, people that I admire – it would be Ingmar Bergman, Roman Polanski, and modern filmmakers; Takashi Miike, who made the film Audition, and Gasper Noe who made I Stand Alone and Irreversible. It’s kind of a return to Hitchcock-style psychological horror about letting your mind do the damage and sometimes what you don’t see is scarier.

From http://www.mansonusa.com/celebritarian/?page=3

This is why I love Marilyn Manson. This guy GETS IT! Like him, I’m bored to tears with Hollywood films that trade off SFX shock and gore for real Horror. Films like that are only horrific in their Non-Horrificness.

Now whether M.M. can follow through on this big talk, or whether it turns out to be a pile of pretentious crap like Doppelhertz… I guess only time will tell. In the meantime, I would very much like to see him succeed.

Blog on,
-CZ

Sucks.

[Editor's Note: This movie review is dedicated to pattonjr5. See? I don't just watch blockbuster movies...]

Xtina and I were walking through our local Hollywood Video, and the cover of this DVD caught her eye.

“Oh my Gawd,” she said, “Would you *Look* at this!”

“Ewww,” I said, and made the face I usually reserve for people who put vinegar on their French Fries.

It was pretty bad. Scratch that – it was Mega-Bad. In a bad way. The cover was something I would never have even picked up off the shelf, a screaming blue face with poorly CG-ed hooks pulling on the skin. Whatever picture you have in your head right now, this was worse.

Not wanting to judge a DVD only by its cover, I immediately read the back. Turning the DVD over revealed a much Much MUCH better graphic, Tanya Dempsey (whom we All remember from The Coven, right? Um, Right?) holding a wicked looking blade, in a total hero pose. I read the blurb on the back – a group of cultists unwittingly release a demon into LA, and two demon-hunters have to track it down.

The plot outline alone was worth the three dollar rental; call it ‘research’ if you like, but honestly I’m always on the hunt for quality indie horror. So J-manand Spoon stopped over and bravely volunteered to give ‘Guardian of the Realm’ a right proper MST3K viewing with the obligatory 2-drink minimum.

I was more than just pleasantly surprised. The movie refused to accept indie-mediocrity, and strove for a standard movie formula. They refused to let their own shortcomings hold them back, as so many B-grade horror films do. (By adding in Laughably Bad Effects or dialog, preposterous plot jumps, breaking the fourth wall, etc…) This is the movie I think a lot of indie horror filmsters wish they could make, and I wish more of them would try. Not that all indie moviemakers should take themselves seriously, (there’s plenty of that already)  but rather, the specific genre of B-Horror films could do better with their budgets and remember that fake blood and bad jokes are no substitute for good writing.

This isn’t to say that the movie wasn’t funny. I mean, come on; when the demon-slayer is yelled at by his boss for wearing too much black leather? When the slain demons dissolve into Styrofoam packing peanuts? Spoon had a good point, “why didn’t they use kitty litter?” Good question.

The acting varied, but the main characters were solid, likable and even more-or-less believable. I was able to hold the dialog in check with a small suspension of disbelief.

The plot was really good, and well thought out. Maybe a touch contrived, but then again, if the plot involves supernatural beings, you gotta contrive a bit.

The music throughout the movie was bad. Not Bad, but just plain, lower-case-b bad. The music over the end credits was phenomenal, and made me want to bust out all my Enigma and Delirium CDs… Sound as a whole was OK, a little quiet overall, and when the demons talked it sounded like someone used every single audio effect plug-in at once.

The makeup job for the demons is better than I expected. I have always preferred monster-type monsters (Aliens, The Thing, etc…) to humans wearing masks, but I realize how difficult this is to pull off without blowing the HokeyMeter off the charts, and I have come to accept the contacts/mask/fangs/makeup as a reasonable ‘monster’ facsimile in lower budget films. I am not as forgiving for bigger budgets (you heard me, Star Trek…)

The CG deserves special mention, because the movie has plenty of After Effects in it. Mostly the FX were OK, but the elevator scene was unnecessary and overdone, and the ending turns a little ‘ghostbuster-ish’ with the sky and all.

The fight scenes were top notch. Tasteful wire-work, and short, solid bursts of fighting, which accentuated the story without becoming the story.

…And what of the cover? The screaming blue face with the hooks through it? It had NOTHING to do with the movie whatsoever. (Although it looks the way I imagine Hollywood would look if I told it that ‘Guardian of the Realm’ was a better movie than ‘King Kong’…) So the lesson is not to judge movies solely based on the cover art.

Blog on,
-CZ