Friday, March 30, 2007
Snark Attack!
Not to be confused with the band of the same name.
I want one.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: Cool Invention, Cool Product, Ubercool
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Fearless Filmmakers: 28 March 2007
The Fearless Filmmakers event this month was another mixed bag of great independent films, and...um....not so great independent films.
Joe Johnson: "Girl Next Door" - A cross between "Silent Hill" and "Scream", and somehow a parody of them at the same time. Would make a great Rob Zombie video (and I mean that in a good way), half-naked (actually 90% naked) smokin-hot babe gets covered in blood while battling creepy-looking creeps in her home, which has mysteriously inadequate lighting. Unfortunately, the ending was a complete Cheap Shot, one of those "Oh my Dog, look at the time! Damn, and we're almost out of tape too! Anyone know how we can end this in less than thirty seconds?"
355 Productions: "Love" - Hysterical mockumentary about a white-collar office guy who decides to encourage "Love" in his coworker's lives. Hints of "The 40 Year Old Virgin" crossed with "Office Space" and Poor quality sound. This worked great as a short, but I have a hard time imagining how it could be extended into a full-length feature film. I guess we will find out, because the full-length version, "Love: A Documentary" is in Post Production, and slated for release in Summer 2007.
Aaron Gelperin and Steve Blehert: "The Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating Cake" - Far and away the best short of the evening. Well done, funny, and although I didn't understand the ending AT ALL, I didn't even care. I laughed my ass off.
Orange Apple Productions: "It's Killing Me" - This film is based mostly on a poorly-written nursery rhyme, narrated by a child with cancer, who is killed by his own parents to put him out of his misery. This film is positively atrocious, and directly opposed to their 'Mission Statement'
to bring a positive message to its audience through the projects it produces. To show its viewers that the right choice made in even a bad situation can affect everyone involved in a positive way.
From: http://www.orangeappleproductions.com/aboutus.html
Not. Even. The writer/director/producer seemed to think it was "Pretty good". He was wrong.
Matt Osterman: "Turtle" - Square White Guy is commissioned by the Lord (in the shape of a turtle, hence the name) to build an ark. I was expecting hilarity to ensue, but instead the story moved from silly comedy to sad tragedy to disturbing thriller.
Ryan Schaddelee: "Manfant" - Billed as a 'Horror/Comedy with a Twist' This film was the exact opposite to "Turtle" in that "Turtle" went from comedy > tragedy > disturbing, "Manfant" moved from thriller > comedy > lighthearted fluff. During the Q&A after the showing, Ryan admitted that the entire movie was based off one of his friend's abilities to make accurate baby noises, and they got drunk and decided it would be an interesting plot for a short about a full-grown man who acted as an infant. He also apologized. This was one of the best produced movies shown tonight, but not nearly as good as his "Scream Like A Girl"
Justin Pierre of Motion City Soundtrack: "Karen" - This is what happens when a musician decides to make a movie. Writing was thin and abstract. Way more attention was paid to the soundtrack, which was very good, and included the band 'Sweet J.A.P.' The end credits were WAY too long. If that many people were really involved, it should have been better.
Benjamin Martin of Chow Projects: "$$$ (In:love)" - Animation over audio conversations with a telemarketer. Very funny, and got the most laughs of the evening. This is part of a larger series of audio called "Wrong Answers" all of which are available on the web for free at this site.
Ryan Taylor from Prime Productions "MVP" - This entry in Grain Belt's 2006 "Make Your Own Commercial Contest" won Prime Productions first place, and a year's supply of beer. (I don't know how much a year's supply of beer is, and I forgot to ask at the afterparty, but they said it arrived in a truck.) "MVP" is Very pro, it looked like a real commercial.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
Joe Johnson: "Girl Next Door" - A cross between "Silent Hill" and "Scream", and somehow a parody of them at the same time. Would make a great Rob Zombie video (and I mean that in a good way), half-naked (actually 90% naked) smokin-hot babe gets covered in blood while battling creepy-looking creeps in her home, which has mysteriously inadequate lighting. Unfortunately, the ending was a complete Cheap Shot, one of those "Oh my Dog, look at the time! Damn, and we're almost out of tape too! Anyone know how we can end this in less than thirty seconds?"
355 Productions: "Love" - Hysterical mockumentary about a white-collar office guy who decides to encourage "Love" in his coworker's lives. Hints of "The 40 Year Old Virgin" crossed with "Office Space" and Poor quality sound. This worked great as a short, but I have a hard time imagining how it could be extended into a full-length feature film. I guess we will find out, because the full-length version, "Love: A Documentary" is in Post Production, and slated for release in Summer 2007.
Aaron Gelperin and Steve Blehert: "The Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating Cake" - Far and away the best short of the evening. Well done, funny, and although I didn't understand the ending AT ALL, I didn't even care. I laughed my ass off.
Orange Apple Productions: "It's Killing Me" - This film is based mostly on a poorly-written nursery rhyme, narrated by a child with cancer, who is killed by his own parents to put him out of his misery. This film is positively atrocious, and directly opposed to their 'Mission Statement'
to bring a positive message to its audience through the projects it produces. To show its viewers that the right choice made in even a bad situation can affect everyone involved in a positive way.
From: http://www.orangeappleproductions.com/aboutus.html
Not. Even. The writer/director/producer seemed to think it was "Pretty good". He was wrong.
Matt Osterman: "Turtle" - Square White Guy is commissioned by the Lord (in the shape of a turtle, hence the name) to build an ark. I was expecting hilarity to ensue, but instead the story moved from silly comedy to sad tragedy to disturbing thriller.
Ryan Schaddelee: "Manfant" - Billed as a 'Horror/Comedy with a Twist' This film was the exact opposite to "Turtle" in that "Turtle" went from comedy > tragedy > disturbing, "Manfant" moved from thriller > comedy > lighthearted fluff. During the Q&A after the showing, Ryan admitted that the entire movie was based off one of his friend's abilities to make accurate baby noises, and they got drunk and decided it would be an interesting plot for a short about a full-grown man who acted as an infant. He also apologized. This was one of the best produced movies shown tonight, but not nearly as good as his "Scream Like A Girl"
Justin Pierre of Motion City Soundtrack: "Karen" - This is what happens when a musician decides to make a movie. Writing was thin and abstract. Way more attention was paid to the soundtrack, which was very good, and included the band 'Sweet J.A.P.' The end credits were WAY too long. If that many people were really involved, it should have been better.
Benjamin Martin of Chow Projects: "$$$ (In:love)" - Animation over audio conversations with a telemarketer. Very funny, and got the most laughs of the evening. This is part of a larger series of audio called "Wrong Answers" all of which are available on the web for free at this site.
Ryan Taylor from Prime Productions "MVP" - This entry in Grain Belt's 2006 "Make Your Own Commercial Contest" won Prime Productions first place, and a year's supply of beer. (I don't know how much a year's supply of beer is, and I forgot to ask at the afterparty, but they said it arrived in a truck.) "MVP" is Very pro, it looked like a real commercial.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: indie movies, Minneapolis Event, movie reviews
The Album Is Dead! (Part Two)
Hey, the Recording Industry reads my blog!
Check out this story in the NY Times by Jeff Leeds, about a group just signed by a record label..
...to do Two songs. TWO. Thas'all.
Sound Familiar?
The album distribution model was perfect for hard-copy records, tapes and CDs. So you really liked "Pour Some Sugar On Me" because you heard it on the radio. You ran down to Musicland on 3 August in 1987 and bought Hysteria the day it came out. You paid $11.99
Why did you pay that much for one song? You didn't. You only wanted the 'hit', and you might have actually paid twelve bucks for it, but that truly would be a rip-off, since the single (in cassette tape format, natch) was available for $3.99. That makes 12 songs for twelve bucks sound like a hell of a deal. Those were your options, and they sucked.
But not anymore. On the interweb, you preview each song before you buy it, and you pick and choose the songs you want. Who the hell wants to buy the entire album of Wang Chung's "Points on the Curve"?
You only want this song, and this one. Maybe this one, if you're a true fan.
But this? It's crap. If it was a piece of furniture in your house, you would pay to have it hauled away; you certainly wouldn't want to be caught Dead with it taking up space in your I-Dope Shuffle. The song was tossed into the album so the price could be set higher, a technique called "Value Added", a concept thought up by a marketing person who should have been disemboweled for coming up with the idea.
Yes, the time is up for the album. It's just as well, since few bands use albums to their full potential anyway. The article mentions Tool and Radiohead, but has anyone heard of Jethro Tull's "Thick as a Brick"? The CD has one track on it, about 45 min long. Its not even a concept album. It's a 45 min SONG.
Concept albums? Nobody does that anymore. You'd have to be drunk or stupid to even try that shit nowadays.
But the real proof that the record companies read my blog? I quote:
Another solution being debated in the industry would transform record labels into de facto fan clubs. Companies including the Warner Music Group and the EMI Group have been considering a system in which fans would pay a fee, perhaps monthly, to “subscribe” to their favorite artists and receive a series of recordings, videos and other products spaced over time.
From: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/26/business/media/26music.html?ex=1332561600&en=7a34accc8988c811&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
I wonder if I will get any credit for coming up with the idea first.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
Check out this story in the NY Times by Jeff Leeds, about a group just signed by a record label..
...to do Two songs. TWO. Thas'all.
Sound Familiar?
The album distribution model was perfect for hard-copy records, tapes and CDs. So you really liked "Pour Some Sugar On Me" because you heard it on the radio. You ran down to Musicland on 3 August in 1987 and bought Hysteria the day it came out. You paid $11.99
Why did you pay that much for one song? You didn't. You only wanted the 'hit', and you might have actually paid twelve bucks for it, but that truly would be a rip-off, since the single (in cassette tape format, natch) was available for $3.99. That makes 12 songs for twelve bucks sound like a hell of a deal. Those were your options, and they sucked.
But not anymore. On the interweb, you preview each song before you buy it, and you pick and choose the songs you want. Who the hell wants to buy the entire album of Wang Chung's "Points on the Curve"?
You only want this song, and this one. Maybe this one, if you're a true fan.
But this? It's crap. If it was a piece of furniture in your house, you would pay to have it hauled away; you certainly wouldn't want to be caught Dead with it taking up space in your I-Dope Shuffle. The song was tossed into the album so the price could be set higher, a technique called "Value Added", a concept thought up by a marketing person who should have been disemboweled for coming up with the idea.
Yes, the time is up for the album. It's just as well, since few bands use albums to their full potential anyway. The article mentions Tool and Radiohead, but has anyone heard of Jethro Tull's "Thick as a Brick"? The CD has one track on it, about 45 min long. Its not even a concept album. It's a 45 min SONG.
Concept albums? Nobody does that anymore. You'd have to be drunk or stupid to even try that shit nowadays.
But the real proof that the record companies read my blog? I quote:
Another solution being debated in the industry would transform record labels into de facto fan clubs. Companies including the Warner Music Group and the EMI Group have been considering a system in which fans would pay a fee, perhaps monthly, to “subscribe” to their favorite artists and receive a series of recordings, videos and other products spaced over time.
From: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/26/business/media/26music.html?ex=1332561600&en=7a34accc8988c811&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
I wonder if I will get any credit for coming up with the idea first.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: Business Phenomena, consumerism, Cultural Observation, Million Dollar Idea, music, Music Industry
Friday, March 23, 2007
24 March 2007 - Shutdown Day
Shut off your damn computer! Tomorrow, Saturday 24 Mar 2007 is Shutdown Day!
You can read more about shutdown day at shutdownday.org.
I would take it a step further, and say take a break from technology altogether! Skip the Cellphone and the TV/DVD/Cable/Sattelite, and Things-That-Plug-Into-The-Wall. If the weather is anything like today, it's time to be thinking spring thoughts!
Read a book, or write one.
Take a drive up to Frisky's in Coon Rapids, I think they still deliver food out to your car. If not, Wagner's off of Hwy81 and Broadway will.
Go see a live band.
Clean your garage.
Go on a bike ride around Lake Calhoun.
And if you have a dirty mind like me, just a look at the shutdown logo and see what other low-tech activities come to mind....
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: A Day In The Life, Culture, Technology
Movie Review: The Horrible Flowers
Last night I attended the premier of the dramedy (that's Drama/Comedy) "The Horrible Flowers at the Riverview Theatre.
Overall the movie was really good. Emily Cline was positively delicious as the lead character, Bettina, leader of a Just-About-To-Make-The-Big-Time band, passing through her hometown of Minneapolis when... things go wrong. Plenty of conflict, drama, and Ms. Cline played it all very well. Great acting. Very expressive. Maybe Eric Tretbar (Writer/Producer/Director) could give Peter Jackson some tips on how to edit the leading lady's close-ups..
The character Billy plays a slacker drummer from Seattle, and love interest to Bettina. Billy seemed to suffer from some kind of multiple personality syndrome. In one scene, he is quiet/shy. The next scene he is loving/caring. The next he is a wise philosopher. Awkward lines were given to him that even the best actor would have a hard time with, (the dressing room scene with Linda comes to mind.) I couldn't tell if the problem was the writing or the performance, although treating each scene individually, Scott Foster did a fine job, but overall the character came off as disjointed.
Lines of dialog throughout the movie were contrived, and several of the conversations would have made more sense if you cut the last sentance off. You'll have to see the movie to understand, but several times when characters were walking away from each other and one would say something, I was left there wondering what the fuck the person was talking about. "You diddn't even try!" was one I recall. "Try what?" I replied to myself.
The plot was unique and interesting, involving Rock and Roll, and the sacrifices people are willing to make for it. Unfortunately, there were some serious twists in the plot which threw my suspension of disbelief straight off the tour bus. For instance, there was an occurance of something I have coined 'The English Patient Effect'. This is when two people argue/fight/scream at each other, this typically culminates in one person hitting the other or pushing them down...
...and then they have sex.
Um. Yeah. Right.
This doesn't work. Don't ask me why it doesn't work. Don't go down to Martini Blu and try it to find out for yourself. It didn't work in The Horrible Flowers either. Instead, I wondered if the projectionist got the reels mixed up.
The musical score was good. The songs the bands were performing on stage sounded like uninspired standards, but that was OK. They were not in the big leagues yet, they were not superstars, so that made sense. The background music was much better: simple, emotional guitar/drum/tambourine. Someone compared the guitarwork to Neil Young's score for "Dead Man" and I completely agree.
More than anything, the movie has a high 'coolness' factor. Lots of local Minneapolis places that musicians and music lovers will recognize. The characters are believable, they have the right 'attitude'. All in all, a great local indie film, in which the plot, acting and Minneapolisism outweighed the drawbacks.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
Overall the movie was really good. Emily Cline was positively delicious as the lead character, Bettina, leader of a Just-About-To-Make-The-Big-Time band, passing through her hometown of Minneapolis when... things go wrong. Plenty of conflict, drama, and Ms. Cline played it all very well. Great acting. Very expressive. Maybe Eric Tretbar (Writer/Producer/Director) could give Peter Jackson some tips on how to edit the leading lady's close-ups..
The character Billy plays a slacker drummer from Seattle, and love interest to Bettina. Billy seemed to suffer from some kind of multiple personality syndrome. In one scene, he is quiet/shy. The next scene he is loving/caring. The next he is a wise philosopher. Awkward lines were given to him that even the best actor would have a hard time with, (the dressing room scene with Linda comes to mind.) I couldn't tell if the problem was the writing or the performance, although treating each scene individually, Scott Foster did a fine job, but overall the character came off as disjointed.
Lines of dialog throughout the movie were contrived, and several of the conversations would have made more sense if you cut the last sentance off. You'll have to see the movie to understand, but several times when characters were walking away from each other and one would say something, I was left there wondering what the fuck the person was talking about. "You diddn't even try!" was one I recall. "Try what?" I replied to myself.
The plot was unique and interesting, involving Rock and Roll, and the sacrifices people are willing to make for it. Unfortunately, there were some serious twists in the plot which threw my suspension of disbelief straight off the tour bus. For instance, there was an occurance of something I have coined 'The English Patient Effect'. This is when two people argue/fight/scream at each other, this typically culminates in one person hitting the other or pushing them down...
...and then they have sex.
Um. Yeah. Right.
This doesn't work. Don't ask me why it doesn't work. Don't go down to Martini Blu and try it to find out for yourself. It didn't work in The Horrible Flowers either. Instead, I wondered if the projectionist got the reels mixed up.
The musical score was good. The songs the bands were performing on stage sounded like uninspired standards, but that was OK. They were not in the big leagues yet, they were not superstars, so that made sense. The background music was much better: simple, emotional guitar/drum/tambourine. Someone compared the guitarwork to Neil Young's score for "Dead Man" and I completely agree.
More than anything, the movie has a high 'coolness' factor. Lots of local Minneapolis places that musicians and music lovers will recognize. The characters are believable, they have the right 'attitude'. All in all, a great local indie film, in which the plot, acting and Minneapolisism outweighed the drawbacks.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: indie movies, movie reviews
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Bum Rush The Charts
An interesting idea, the website bumrushthecharts.blogspot.com is urging people with I-Tunes accounts to purchase an indie single today and push it to #1 on the charts as a 'stick it to the record industry' gesture.
How the band is selected is beyond me, and isn't the fact that your music on I-Tunes (and therefore DRM infected) imply that you have given in to the man, and how is it possible to 'Stick it to the man' by buying music on his website???
I would probably dig deeper before participating, to make sure you aren't getting sucked into a very clever marketing scheme, but I don't have an I-Suck account, so I'm not going to fret about it. If you are interested in proving that a bunch of people can send an indie single to #1, and if you think that will somehow make the record industry jealous, head over to the following link and show your support.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
How the band is selected is beyond me, and isn't the fact that your music on I-Tunes (and therefore DRM infected) imply that you have given in to the man, and how is it possible to 'Stick it to the man' by buying music on his website???
I would probably dig deeper before participating, to make sure you aren't getting sucked into a very clever marketing scheme, but I don't have an I-Suck account, so I'm not going to fret about it. If you are interested in proving that a bunch of people can send an indie single to #1, and if you think that will somehow make the record industry jealous, head over to the following link and show your support.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: DRM Sucks, music, Music Industry
Get Out the Vote
You don't even have to lift your lazy ass out of the chair, just click the link, and fill in what you can.
It's not just a survey, it's a test of how connected you are with the local area. Of course, the Best Rock Band would be "Jagged Spiral". You knew that already. But "Best R and B Group?" "Best New Restaurant?" Hmm. Some of these things I only find out by reading Last Year's 'Best Of' winners...
You will have to stay alert, because there are some trick questions:
Best TV Weatherperson?
Best Karaoke?
Make sure to vote for Anna Lee as "Best Girl Made Good".
And if you can't think of anyone else, vote for me for Best Villain. You probably don't know me that well, but trust me, I deserve it.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: Culture, Minneapolis Event, Online Tests
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
The fate of indie music as we know it
A Smashing (albeit lengthy) article on Salon.com about the 20 Mar 2007 rulings by the FCC and Copyright Royalty Board, which put the screws to internet radio services by retroactively charging them increased royalties for internet radio services.
While I'm sorry for internet radio services like Pandora and AccuRadio who now owes Millions more than they ever made with their services, I know this is the kind of thing that happens when a multibillion dollar industry has their claws around the testes of the government. You don't tug on Superman's Cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off the Lone Ranger, you don't visit Crystal, MN without packing some heat, and you don't set up shop against the record industry without some serious lawyers, insurance, and compromising pix of high-ranking officials.
The recording industry is laughing now, but it sounds to me like they just pulled the trigger before they looked to see which way the gun was pointing. While this ruling might kill internet radio, and toss the Recording Industry enough cash to sue some more innocent fans, it will also dissuade new artists AWAY from the old royalty paradigm, and onto things like creative commons licensing, and services like magnatune.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
While I'm sorry for internet radio services like Pandora and AccuRadio who now owes Millions more than they ever made with their services, I know this is the kind of thing that happens when a multibillion dollar industry has their claws around the testes of the government. You don't tug on Superman's Cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off the Lone Ranger, you don't visit Crystal, MN without packing some heat, and you don't set up shop against the record industry without some serious lawyers, insurance, and compromising pix of high-ranking officials.
The recording industry is laughing now, but it sounds to me like they just pulled the trigger before they looked to see which way the gun was pointing. While this ruling might kill internet radio, and toss the Recording Industry enough cash to sue some more innocent fans, it will also dissuade new artists AWAY from the old royalty paradigm, and onto things like creative commons licensing, and services like magnatune.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: Business Phenomena, Music Industry
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
The 2007 'Worst Company in America' Award
Conratulations to the RIAA on their overwhelming landslide victory in the 'Worst Company in America' Award" for 2007!
Don't forget, this month is Boycott the RIAA month! Help get the word out that DRM infection and lawsuits against innocent people are not acceptable. Tell the Recording Industry to read Lefsetz if they want to know why their CD sales are in the shitter.
Tell them a quality band or two might be in their own best interest. Arcade Fire is a good start. Hinder (Rhymes with 'bee-hind-er') is Not. Tell them Divas are DONE, and they should trade in one Gwen Steffani for a dozen talented bands. Tell them to shoot their marketing departments and put Lefsetz or myself in charge, (maybe both), and we could turn that dying dog around. Maybe.
Or perhaps, tell them to stop living in the past, join us in the present, and listen to reason, instead of Keeping Their Heads Buried In Their Lower Intestines.
For gods sake, someone tell them that MTV is dead, and we need a necromancer to bring it back!
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
Don't forget, this month is Boycott the RIAA month! Help get the word out that DRM infection and lawsuits against innocent people are not acceptable. Tell the Recording Industry to read Lefsetz if they want to know why their CD sales are in the shitter.
Tell them a quality band or two might be in their own best interest. Arcade Fire is a good start. Hinder (Rhymes with 'bee-hind-er') is Not. Tell them Divas are DONE, and they should trade in one Gwen Steffani for a dozen talented bands. Tell them to shoot their marketing departments and put Lefsetz or myself in charge, (maybe both), and we could turn that dying dog around. Maybe.
Or perhaps, tell them to stop living in the past, join us in the present, and listen to reason, instead of Keeping Their Heads Buried In Their Lower Intestines.
For gods sake, someone tell them that MTV is dead, and we need a necromancer to bring it back!
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: Business Phenomena, DRM Sucks, Music Industry
Monday, March 19, 2007
Movie Review: The Host
Finally, a Real Monster!
The Host is a great movie, even if it does make Americans look like evil, polluting, cowboy bullies. [Editor's Note: We're Not?] The plot is simple, the characters are believable, the monster is incredible.
There were only two things that bothered me about the movie. First, the mix of the sound was strange. At times when there was no dialog or sound effects, the musical score was Obscenely Loud. This happened several times during the film, so I cannot believe it was an accident. The rest of the volume was fine, so it was not an issue with the theatre sound system.
Also, the sense of humor was strange. Some things I thought were funny...well, I'm not sure they were *intended* to be funny, if you know what I mean. The other way 'round too, some things I think were meant to be funny, but I didn't get it. I suspect Sense Of Humor is the most difficult thing to translate between cultures.
But these are trivial issues. Some people will let the subtitles dissuade them from seeing the movie. Fine, then wait for the DVD, but if you love a good 'creature feature', you won't want to pass this one up.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
The Host is a great movie, even if it does make Americans look like evil, polluting, cowboy bullies. [Editor's Note: We're Not?] The plot is simple, the characters are believable, the monster is incredible.
There were only two things that bothered me about the movie. First, the mix of the sound was strange. At times when there was no dialog or sound effects, the musical score was Obscenely Loud. This happened several times during the film, so I cannot believe it was an accident. The rest of the volume was fine, so it was not an issue with the theatre sound system.
Also, the sense of humor was strange. Some things I thought were funny...well, I'm not sure they were *intended* to be funny, if you know what I mean. The other way 'round too, some things I think were meant to be funny, but I didn't get it. I suspect Sense Of Humor is the most difficult thing to translate between cultures.
But these are trivial issues. Some people will let the subtitles dissuade them from seeing the movie. Fine, then wait for the DVD, but if you love a good 'creature feature', you won't want to pass this one up.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: movie reviews
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Happy St Patrick's Day
Joe Cartoon slams home the true spirit of St. Patricks Day.
Cheers!
PS: While you're at it, you should test your Kung-Fu Grip here.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
Cheers!
PS: While you're at it, you should test your Kung-Fu Grip here.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: Funny
Monday, March 12, 2007
Visual DNA Test
Find out your Visual DNA at this site. Answer the questions by clicking on the pix and this website will wedge your persona into one of several small stereotypes filled with apt cliches!
Shine on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
Shine on,
-CZ
Labels: Online Tests
The Worst Reviewed Movies of All Time
Ouch! Rottentomatoes.com just put out a list of the Worst Reviewed Movies of ALL TIME! The list is harsh but mostly fair, and only verifies rottentomatoes.com as a semi-objective indicator of awfulness.
A quick peek at just a couple of the movies I saw on the list:
#100 - Catwoman. I agree. For a movie to have so much potential and the perfect casting, they really must have worked hard to screw this up.
#86 - Elektra. I know this movie could have been better for the same reasons as Catwoman, but I don't agree that it is one of the 100 Worst, and it certainly is not a worse movie than Catwoman.
#62 - Ultraviolet. Disagree. I think someone got this movie mixed up with Aeon Flux.
#55 - Gigli. How would anyone know this movie is bad? Who would have seen it?
#46 - Pluto Nash. I didn't get it. I think it was a comedy...action...thing...?
#41 - The Fog. This movie should be ranked much worse. Top 25 for sure. If you can't do better than the original, then do different. If you can't do better OR different than the original, you will end up on lists like this.
#33 - Bloodrayne. Disagree. This movie is TOP TEN BAD, possibly the worst of all.
#30 - The Darkness. Disagree. I didn't think it was that bad, certainly no better or worse than all the Almost-Horror movies like The Grudge or Dark Water.
#26 - House of the Dead. Didn't see it myself, but Uwe Boll = Automatic Worst Movie List. [Update July 2008 - Finally saw this movie, which had clips in it which were cut out from the video game! Wow. Even Uwe Boll admitted it was a bad call, although he said, "it seemed like a good idea at the time..."]
#16 - The Covenant. I just saw this movie last week, and I think #16 might be sugar-coating it a bit. This was really bad.
#2 - Alone In The Dark. Agreed. Uwe Boll in his prime. Horseshit. I would have walked out if I Xtina hadn't fallen asleep in my lap during the movie.
#1 - Ballistic. Well, if there was a movie arguably worse than Bloodrayne, this would be it. Certainly worthy of the top ten.
I'm trying to think of movies that Should have been on the list but weren't? Comments?
Suck on,
-CZ
1 Comments
Permalink
A quick peek at just a couple of the movies I saw on the list:
#100 - Catwoman. I agree. For a movie to have so much potential and the perfect casting, they really must have worked hard to screw this up.
#86 - Elektra. I know this movie could have been better for the same reasons as Catwoman, but I don't agree that it is one of the 100 Worst, and it certainly is not a worse movie than Catwoman.
#62 - Ultraviolet. Disagree. I think someone got this movie mixed up with Aeon Flux.
#55 - Gigli. How would anyone know this movie is bad? Who would have seen it?
#46 - Pluto Nash. I didn't get it. I think it was a comedy...action...thing...?
#41 - The Fog. This movie should be ranked much worse. Top 25 for sure. If you can't do better than the original, then do different. If you can't do better OR different than the original, you will end up on lists like this.
#33 - Bloodrayne. Disagree. This movie is TOP TEN BAD, possibly the worst of all.
#30 - The Darkness. Disagree. I didn't think it was that bad, certainly no better or worse than all the Almost-Horror movies like The Grudge or Dark Water.
#26 - House of the Dead. Didn't see it myself, but Uwe Boll = Automatic Worst Movie List. [Update July 2008 - Finally saw this movie, which had clips in it which were cut out from the video game! Wow. Even Uwe Boll admitted it was a bad call, although he said, "it seemed like a good idea at the time..."]
#16 - The Covenant. I just saw this movie last week, and I think #16 might be sugar-coating it a bit. This was really bad.
#2 - Alone In The Dark. Agreed. Uwe Boll in his prime. Horseshit. I would have walked out if I Xtina hadn't fallen asleep in my lap during the movie.
#1 - Ballistic. Well, if there was a movie arguably worse than Bloodrayne, this would be it. Certainly worthy of the top ten.
I'm trying to think of movies that Should have been on the list but weren't? Comments?
Suck on,
-CZ
Labels: Movie News, movie reviews
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Movie Review: 300
300 was based on work by Frank Miller (Who also did the Sin City graphic novels) I'm not sure which occurs more in this movie: Washboard Abs or Blood. The movie is crosses testosterone and homo-eroticism to a degree I didn't think was possible. People who enjoy the unending non-violence of "Like Water For Chocolate" or "Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" might get bored with the nearly unending violence of "300", but they will still have plenty of washboard abs to watch. And plenty of blood.
I loved the art direction and cinematography in this film. Lots of interesting camera angles, and plenty of slow-motion and stop-action fighting that reminded me of Hero.
But "300" is what it is, a bunch of half-naked Greeks getting their fight on.
If you decide to see 300, please don't be like the people at the Regal Theatre on Friday night and bring your kids to see this! The movie is Rated R for a reason. I'm talking closeup-on-severed-head-spinning-in-the-air-type-Rated-R. So get a sitter, or your kids will be fucked up. I mean, worse than they already are...
Blog on,
-CZ
1 Comments
Permalink
I loved the art direction and cinematography in this film. Lots of interesting camera angles, and plenty of slow-motion and stop-action fighting that reminded me of Hero.
But "300" is what it is, a bunch of half-naked Greeks getting their fight on.
If you decide to see 300, please don't be like the people at the Regal Theatre on Friday night and bring your kids to see this! The movie is Rated R for a reason. I'm talking closeup-on-severed-head-spinning-in-the-air-type-Rated-R. So get a sitter, or your kids will be fucked up. I mean, worse than they already are...
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: movie reviews
Friday, March 09, 2007
Burnlounge
Burnlounge is a classic Multi-Level Marketing site that gives YOU the OPPORTUNITY to make money selling music! Open and Manage your own virtual music store! Your very own Sam Goody (or Musicland, for those who remember such things). Make your OWN website, PROMOTE it YOURSELF, then sit back and RAKE IN THE CASH!
Of course, we know this is bullshit. What this really is, is a chance for you to try to make other people money.
Care to know who your comptetition is? I-Tunes. Napster. Rhapsody. You might have heard of them. I hope you have some $$$$ because it's going to take some serious marketing to compete with them. Somehow, burnlounge believes that you are so foolish, and that the power of Multi-Level Marketing will somehow make them a competitor.
Talk about despiration.
Now, they might have had a ghost of a chance except for three things.
1) D
2) R
3) M
The fact that burnlounge has partnered up with Warner, Universal, EMI, and Sony should tell you all you need to know. Never mind that they try to play both sides by including IODA and CD Baby, it did not take long reading through the Terms of Use to find this:
Conditions to Sublicensing of Digital Downloads to You. Digital Rights Management ("DRM") software will be downloaded onto your Approved Electronic Devices along with your Digital Download music files, and will limit your uses as specified in the Usage Rules.
A lot of the online reviews of Burnlounge talk about whether the business model of MLM can succeed or not. It can't, but that misses the point:
DRM IS EVIL!
Don't support burnlounge. Support DRM-Free sites like
emusic
mp3tunes
Audio Lunchbox
Hype Machine
Garage Band
Amazon.com
mp3 Fiesta
etc...
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
Of course, we know this is bullshit. What this really is, is a chance for you to try to make other people money.
Care to know who your comptetition is? I-Tunes. Napster. Rhapsody. You might have heard of them. I hope you have some $$$$ because it's going to take some serious marketing to compete with them. Somehow, burnlounge believes that you are so foolish, and that the power of Multi-Level Marketing will somehow make them a competitor.
Talk about despiration.
Now, they might have had a ghost of a chance except for three things.
1) D
2) R
3) M
The fact that burnlounge has partnered up with Warner, Universal, EMI, and Sony should tell you all you need to know. Never mind that they try to play both sides by including IODA and CD Baby, it did not take long reading through the Terms of Use to find this:
Conditions to Sublicensing of Digital Downloads to You. Digital Rights Management ("DRM") software will be downloaded onto your Approved Electronic Devices along with your Digital Download music files, and will limit your uses as specified in the Usage Rules.
A lot of the online reviews of Burnlounge talk about whether the business model of MLM can succeed or not. It can't, but that misses the point:
DRM IS EVIL!
Don't support burnlounge. Support DRM-Free sites like
emusic
mp3tunes
Audio Lunchbox
Hype Machine
Garage Band
Amazon.com
mp3 Fiesta
etc...
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: Business Phenomena, DRM Sucks, Music Industry
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
March 2007 - Boycott the RIAA Month
The fight is on.
Gizmodo has declared March 2007 Boycott the RIAA Month
Check the Manifesto here. It explains what the RIAA is, what it does, and why it is harmful to artists, consumers, and the music business as a whole.
If you purchase music at all, whether in CD or download form, and ESPECIALLY if you have an I-Tunes account, you should read this.
Blog on,
-CZ
0 Comments
Permalink
Gizmodo has declared March 2007 Boycott the RIAA Month
Check the Manifesto here. It explains what the RIAA is, what it does, and why it is harmful to artists, consumers, and the music business as a whole.
If you purchase music at all, whether in CD or download form, and ESPECIALLY if you have an I-Tunes account, you should read this.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: DRM Sucks, Music Industry
An Inconvenient Award
I had heard that the humorous fantasy film, "An Inconvenient Truth" won at the Oscars (which I also just heard were last week, which also tells you how much I care.)
Much to my surprise, I found out it won Best Documentary, which does not make sense to me, since it wasn't Best, and it wasn't a Documentary. I saw enough of it to tell you that a bunch of facts stacked adjacent to each other with a cause-and-effect relationship implied, and humorous quotes between them does not a 'documentary' make.
For example, is the following a documentary, yes or no?
...Now we know that Anna Nicole Smith died the other day, AND she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast the day before she died. Let me repeat that, because it bears repeating.
It is a scientific fact that she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast.
It is a scientific fact that she died the next day.
Now I think we all can see what's going on here, and wasn't it Confucius who said, 'Man who stick hand in pocket feel cocky?' [laughs] ...
Don't misundertake me, the lifestyle of your average Americans needs cleaning up. We need to reduce pollution, at both the business and the consumer levels. People need to be aware of their 'Global Footprint'.
But anyone who tells you they have Scientific Proof of Global Warming or Cooling needs to get a few million years of reliable data before they can even be taken seriously. How do you know that the earth is not on the way back to normal from a temperature fluxuation that started a half million years ago?
The answer? You Don't. And YOU want to fuck with the global thermostat? Keep your fucking hands Off!
Pollution is another matter. You can measure pollutant levels objectively, and we can talk rationally about what causes them, and how to reduce them. You can make a law against world-polluting products like this. But don't show pictures of baby birds and a graph showing the decline in the Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker populations to try guilting everyone into buying a Ford Hybrid.
To put scientific facts next to each other and imply a relationship for your own purposes is Evil, and only works on stupid people. [Editors Note: Perhaps stupid people are the target audience?] It is still Evil EVEN IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE FOR GOOD.
Gandalf the Grey knew this:
"Don't tempt me Frodo! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine..."
See? Gandalf knows shit. Be like Gandalf, and not like Emoman.
Blog on,
-CZ
1 Comments
Permalink
Much to my surprise, I found out it won Best Documentary, which does not make sense to me, since it wasn't Best, and it wasn't a Documentary. I saw enough of it to tell you that a bunch of facts stacked adjacent to each other with a cause-and-effect relationship implied, and humorous quotes between them does not a 'documentary' make.
For example, is the following a documentary, yes or no?
...Now we know that Anna Nicole Smith died the other day, AND she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast the day before she died. Let me repeat that, because it bears repeating.
It is a scientific fact that she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast.
It is a scientific fact that she died the next day.
Now I think we all can see what's going on here, and wasn't it Confucius who said, 'Man who stick hand in pocket feel cocky?' [laughs] ...
Don't misundertake me, the lifestyle of your average Americans needs cleaning up. We need to reduce pollution, at both the business and the consumer levels. People need to be aware of their 'Global Footprint'.
But anyone who tells you they have Scientific Proof of Global Warming or Cooling needs to get a few million years of reliable data before they can even be taken seriously. How do you know that the earth is not on the way back to normal from a temperature fluxuation that started a half million years ago?
The answer? You Don't. And YOU want to fuck with the global thermostat? Keep your fucking hands Off!
Pollution is another matter. You can measure pollutant levels objectively, and we can talk rationally about what causes them, and how to reduce them. You can make a law against world-polluting products like this. But don't show pictures of baby birds and a graph showing the decline in the Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker populations to try guilting everyone into buying a Ford Hybrid.
To put scientific facts next to each other and imply a relationship for your own purposes is Evil, and only works on stupid people. [Editors Note: Perhaps stupid people are the target audience?] It is still Evil EVEN IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE FOR GOOD.
Gandalf the Grey knew this:
"Don't tempt me Frodo! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine..."
See? Gandalf knows shit. Be like Gandalf, and not like Emoman.
Blog on,
-CZ
Labels: americans, Cultural Observation
Ms Dewey - The Future of Search
0 Comments Permalink
Blog Feeds
Subscribe to this Blog by E-Mail
Zero Links
Jagged Links
Search
Blog Archives
- September 2005
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- September 2008
- October 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- January 2009
