Sunday, December 31, 2006

Hey 2006, don't let NYE hit you in the ass on the way out!

It's the end of the year, and the poor-old internet gets loaded down with ten-thousand lists of things people think were the "best of" as though 2006 had the best of anything at all.

Emo music hit its Godforsaken Peak this year, and hopefully, 2007 will find everyone involved with this travisty of music will die a slow painful death involving internal hemmoraging. Doubly so for Metal Emo bands. [Special note to the band known as Hinder: Does your name rhyme with Binder? As in Be-Hinder? It should. Your music rhymes with ASS. Your song "Lips of an Angel" is a mockery of music. Your label, A&R rep, band manager, roadies, fans, and any business which perpetuated this Shit-Rock should have the choice of being burned at the stake or exiled to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Your choice. Right after Dashboard Confessional, of course.]

DRM also hit it's peak, thanks to I-Tunes and all the I-Diots who bought an I-Pod. Did NONE of you investigate the other options? If you can't name three other mp3 player brands, you shouldn't be allowed to buy one. If you don't know what DRM is, you shouldn't be allowed to buy one. Sheep, sheep, sheep. When you do find out what you really bought, listen for the sound of me laughing at you...

Thankfully, Citypages reports that 2006 was the year that Superstar DJ's died, This assumes that there actually were such things. But if it's true, then I guess 2006 wasn't all bad. Citypages has lots of year-end lists, esp for music, but I find myself turning more towards Vita.MN as my Minneapolis To-Do Resource.
Here is the list of the top words from 2006 according to Miriam Webster.
http://www.m-w.com/info/06words.htm



For myself, I'm glad 2006 is over. I will look back on 2006 as a year that was high-maintenance, low-payoff. As far as what I did this year, (besides bitching here on my blog...)

-Although the score for Pray For Daylight (also known as 'The Vampire Movie') was done ages ago, we have yet to see a final version release. To all of you who keep asking to see it, I assure you that it will eventually see the light of day (pun intended, and I promise no more bad puns. This year, anyways.)

-I finished German and graduated from the University of MN with a Bachelors of Philosophy Degree. Hopefully it will soon be supplemented with a Computer Science second major, which should qualify me to work at a Burger King instead of just the Philosophy Major, which qualifies me to debate on the ethics of eating there.

-I worked on The Demonslayers Handbook a lot this year. (also known as "The Book", and not to be confused with "The Good Book") I'm taking a short break from that now, to focus on audio recording, and will attack the DSH again in January.

-"Days From Evil" the Jagged Spiral project creeps towards completion, and the third single, 'Forced Entry' has been entered into the Rift Magazine Compilation CD 2 Contest. My 6-week sore throat and chest cold, and a lovely rebound of congestion is not helping to get this project completed soon. But we are proclaiming 2007 to be The Year of the Spiral.

-The Jagged Spiral website progresses in short bursts of manic creativity, we will release an official announcement once we have some real content. In the meantime, you can catch some audio clips on our myspace page. www.myspace.com/jaggedspiral

-I did not watch any television this year. None. It isn't worth my time.

-I don't drink, smoke or weigh any more or less than I did last year.

Hopefully, 2007 will be more of a payoff for all the work I did in 2006.

Hope you all have a safe, happy, and unboring New Year's Eve. Hopefully, tonight finds you doing something interesting. Probably Not this.

Don't forget, 2007:The Year of the Spiral!

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: , , , , ,

     5 Comments      Permalink     

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Gray Mass

Back in the day, events like this would have got you burned at the stake. Thankfully, we can now celebrate our pagan holidays in public without them being incorrectly identified as Black Mass

I guess they would call it a Gray Mass, where we drink and dance together, but instead of an orgy, we all go home to have sex in private.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: ,

     3 Comments      Permalink     

Youparklikeanasshole.com

Not much to explain, really. Useful, intuitive design. Wonderfully executed.

Make sure to download/printout the infraction forms and keep them in your glovebox for violators.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: , , ,

     0 Comments      Permalink     

Fear of Girls 2

Hopefully, you have all seen Fear of Girls I

Fear of Girls 2 should be kicking about soon, and I just got to see it last weekend. Way, way funny. The talent behind this project is amazing, the writing, the acting, the direction, sound and lighting... but the best part is the timing. No, I take that back. The best part is that it is an indie film made here in Minnesota. Sadly, if you don't know what 'Hit Points' or 'Alignment' are, you might miss out on some of the humor.

Alright, so making fun of people who play D&D is easy (like cow-tipping), but after hearing multiple reviews of what a horseshit movie Eragonwas, I wish more indie films like Fear Of Girls 1 and 2 would rise up and tip the cow that is Hollywood right into the ocean of obscurity.

[Potential reality, years from now]

"Daddy, what is a Hollywood?"

"Well, you know how when we go to the zoo, and see all the wierd and interesting animals?"

"Sure, so Hollywood was like going to the zoo?"

"Kind of, except it was really expensive, and not as interesting; just wierd."

"Did they throw their own poo? (giggle)"

"They certainly did! They threw it all over the world, and they even named it; Star Wars - The Phantom Menace, Bloodrayne, King Kong, Eragon..."


Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: , , ,

     0 Comments      Permalink     

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Rated X-mas

I can almost hear the Entire Americanized Christmas Industry, as thought it were comprised of thousands of leeches, howling with hunger, and poised to suck the capitol-blood right out of the consumers wallet-veins.

Who ever thought that a non-refundable expiring line of credit good at only one business would make a good gift?

http://www.ihatechristmas.com/ is spammed out with a bunch of (ready for this?) Advertisements for THINGS TO BUY.

the songs... can anyone, someone, please write a new christmas song? This is closer, but still rehashing or mashing the old stuff. Same here.

Ah well, the lights are pretty, and the kids seem to like it.

So let's all take a moment to remember the True Meaning of Christmas - A Christian attempt to displace the pagan ritual of Yule by taking the Biblical god and dressing him (sorry, Him) up in spandex and fishnet, then saying he looks like The Earth Mother...


Flame on,
-CZ

Labels: , , ,

     0 Comments      Permalink     

Friday, December 15, 2006

The year in vlog reveiw

I was just compiling a list of vlogs I'm more or less keeping up with.....

www.zefrank.com I pointed this out ages ago, but without a doubt, Zefrank wins my VLOG OF THE YEAR...um, if I had one.

http://www.askaninja.com/ Ask a ninja. Sehr lustig. Second place.

Honorable Mention: In other words, if youre really really sick, you could kill a day sifting through them.

http://vlogsanta.tv/
http://www.hopeisemo.com

Yeah, that's about it. I don't watch TV, and I don't have time to spend an hour a day watching stupid video blogs, but now and again, these tend to cross my cursor...

If you have others, please let me know...


Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: , , ,

     0 Comments      Permalink     

Length Is Important

Initial feedback from the pre-pre-preview copy of DSH tells me that I tend towards run-on sentences, (nay, run-on-and-on-and-on-some-more-sentences) the very existence of which suggests that I should simply reduce the rambling thought down to a soundbite, a tidbit, like asking a painter to 'just slap some stick figures in there" because the damn thing is simply drawing on for too long, or the way you would reduce an entire e-mail down to simply the subject line because, 'for God's sake, man, get to the point, because we're busy people, and can't be bothered with your pedantic, run-on-sentences...'

Well,

This outta shut you up.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: ,

     3 Comments      Permalink     

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Inner Rebel or, How 2 write right

I distinctly remember at a rather large Easter gathering, my aunt Ginny stood and seemed to speak for the entire Family (possibly the entire Human Race) when she yelled at me,

"If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff too?"

Without a millisecond of pause, I said (With an equal amount of volume and grandoiseness)

"Does that mean if all Your friends did Not jump off a cliff, then you Would?"

I think that was the last time my Aunt Ginny ever spoke to me. I think I was eight.

My gut-reaction-response surprised even me, because it implied that rebellousness is not always the answer. Sometimes everyone does things because it's just the right thing to do, like eating oatmeal. (Ask Wilford Brimley)

Since I didn't retain the lesson, I needed to be taught it again. So, during a period of my life when I felt severely unappreciated, I decided, in a fluster of rebellousness, that I would run away from home. I talked this plan over with my good friend, The Gooch, and he kindly volunteered the underneath of his stairs as a good place to sit tight for a day or two, and i could eat leftovers, of which he assured me there were plenty. My mom would worry and cry, and I would return home with a story of aliens or ninjas, (something I would make up while hiding out), and for a day or two of suffering, I would gain a newfound appreciation from my family, and probably sell the book rights later on.

I realized that I could get the same effect with a lot less work if I simply dropped a hint that I was thinking of leaving, (and I wouldn't have to eat leftovers.) So, I asked my mother how she would feel if I ran away from home.

"I would be very sad," she said seriously, "but I wouldn't let you come back."

"Um, what?" I asked, as my brain sifted through my finely-laid plan to come up with a workaround for this rather large loophole.

"Well," she said, "if you weren't happy here, I certainly wouldn't want you to live here. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, just wondering 's all."

When she called my bluff, I was reminded that rebelousness isn't always the answer. Hey, even if I was unappreciated, the food and lodging were still better than the alternative.


But you can imagine what I think when people tell me 'how to write right'.

Don't do [fill in the blank]

Always [fill in the blank]

And Never, Ever [fill in the blank]

For instance, 'never end a sentence with a preposition' What the hell is that about? Prepositions are wonderful things to end a sentence with. I don't agree that isn't what they should be used for. As a matter of fact, it's something I use lots of. In the Upper Midwest, it is something people are very used to. It's certainly nothing to get upset about.

Most of this ALWAYS and NEVER pesudo-info comes from people with experience or authority in the matter. People like this for instance. Ah well, you have to sift through the ALWAYS and NEVER comments, and realize them for what they are. Opinions.

I think it's the people who break the ALWAYS and NEVER rules who start the new trends which are accepted are hailed as the visionaries later on. Those who start new trends that fail are called crackpots.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: , ,

     4 Comments      Permalink     

Coffee Percolator

I wish I hadn't heard this. It sticks to the roof of your mind like, well, like something that isn't trite, utter shite.

http://www.fabulist.org/archives/2006/11/to_rouse_you_fr.html

Ok, so maybe it is trite. But to me, it's a case of people who can make a catchy song with an interesting video, while not taking themselves seriously. Unlike this video, which tries REALLY REALLY HARD not to take itself seriously, and the song sucks too.

Thanks to Neil Gaiman for the link...

...kind of.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: , , ,

     0 Comments      Permalink     

Monday, December 11, 2006

The new fez of Horror!!!

If this is the new trend in Horror movies,

http://www.apple.com/trailers/touchstone/primeval/

http://www.tribute.ca/player/enhancePlayer.asp?isWM=1&isQT=1&filePath=Trailers&fileName=blackchristmas

Then somebody stop the fucking planet and let me off. Thanks to movies like The Grudge and The Ring and The [Fill in the blank] we now have to sift this crap off the shelf to get to the good horror movies.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: ,

     2 Comments      Permalink     

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Cool Website of the Day

Where else can you find kewl sites like this?

Why, at www.coolsiteoftheday.com of course.

Make sure to bookmark this site (Warning: Slow Load time, even with high-speed)
and check back after Dec 16th for the 2006 "Running of the Santas" which will make you wonder what the hell is wrong with Philadelphia.

Ever want to know where you would end up if you dug a hole straight through the earth? Where would you come out on the other side?
Wonder no more.

Need Obscure Horror Movie Reviews? Look no further. Where else could you go to get a review of Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter?

And, I'm not sure I understand this one, but hey, I heard that some people even like Dashboard Confessional; I guess it takes all kinds....

OMG! If U really need 2 kill some time on the Interr-webb, ch3ck th1s 0u7 -
http://www.1041jackfm.com/pages/89325.php

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: ,

     0 Comments      Permalink     

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Assault on the Senses

I was recently having a peaceful lunch as a local fast-food establishment, when suddenly I was assaulted by a woman whom I don't even know. It seems that the perfume she wore was purchased by the gallon, and instead of applying it, she marinated in it. My eyes were watering, it was that bad.

Now, my father always said that if a woman wears too much perfume, she's trying to cover something up.

Later that same day, I was reading vita.mn's review of Panic at the Disco. Their shows look like Cirque De Soleil meets Wayne Newton meets Vaudeville meets Sgt Pepper. My eyes were watering, it was that bad.

I'm all for putting on a show, but Son, I'm telling you that if a band has too many performers on stage, they're trying to cover something up.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels:

     1 Comments      Permalink     
Conrad Zero - Minneapolis Musician Author and Demonologist