Apparently, many people don't understand how things work in terms of sales, because they call me on the phone, and ask things like the following:

-"...just wondering if your company is prepared to make the switch to VOIP..."

-"...if all your printer and toner cartridge needs are being filled..."

-"...if you had any networking or computer hardware/software needs in the immediate future..."
-"...if you have taken Jesus into your heart..."

Tell you what, you Gorram idiots: Time for the lesson: When the customer (The one seeking the product or service) wants to buy something, they will seek out the supplier (the one with the product or service available) and NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!

I have begun a blacklist of companies. Those who cold call me are henceforth on the list, and I will go out of my way to smear them. I have nothing against the poor boob who is forced to make X calls per day to meet their quota, but I will no longer do business with companies with a policy of cold calling to drum up business.

FREE BUSINESS TIP: Take the resources your business wastes pissing off potential customers by making cold calls, and apply it to Internet Presence, Advertising, and best of all - Knowledge Of The Products You Sell (WOW, Fucking-Jump-Back! The Man's a Gorram Genius!). Then, when the customer looks for a product, they find your well-informed and highly-Google-Ranked business.

Here endeth the lesson.

And FYI, Jesus and I had a nasty breakup long ago, and we haven't spoken since. If you see him, tell him I want my Pantera CD's back, especially the one with Dimebag's signature on it. That thing is worth some money now...

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Business Phenomena, idiots, Million Dollar Idea

I had the Strangest dream, that something ODD happened to Hawaii. Or maybe just IN Hawaii. Something Big, and possibly Bad. Like maybe it sinks into the ocean instead of California. Or maybe Atlantis rises up next to it and attacks. Or maybe Don Ho dies. I don't know.

It did not help to see several people dressed in Hawaiian Shirts today. I would rather look like an idiot for saying something, and then nothing happens, than to say nothing, and then something happens, and then I say, "Oh! I just Knew something ODD was going to happen!"

...then you say, "Riiiiight Z, Sure you did..."

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Dreams

Wow, Eleven and I had a great recording session, our first since working on the Pray For Daylight Score. We tightened up 'Let It Out', a song we haven't touched for Months, and I haven't heard since, oh, about December. I forgot how much I like that song. We had previously declared that song Finished, but in reality, what we meant was that the song was Written. In the future, I will be more careful with that distinction.

After an evening of simplifying the bassline, re-recording the lead Vox, and a dash of Level/EQ, the song is Much Much better. It still needs the drum loops replaced with real drums, and a coat of bright, blood-red paint, then it can be added to the Finished pile with 'Not Enough Bullets'.

I think scoring the movie was a good break from the album. We needed to get away from that project for a while - things had begun to stagnate a bit, and I know I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. There were some songs (like Monsters) that were taking on a life of their own, growing out of control, so it was nice to put the works aside for a few weeks, and return and view things with a fresh ear (or is that 'hear things with a fresh eye'?). Anyway, I really can't wait for you to hear it. Where are the registration forms for the 2007 SXSW Festival?

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: A Day In The Life, Jagged Spiral, Pray For Daylight

I just can't tell you how much I hate Chris Carrabba, it doesn't even make sense to me. If you found out that someone was going around posing as a house inspector, and beating up people and taking their money - that's the kind of hate I'm talking about. This man is posing a musician, passing off audio that is a mockery of a travesty of a sham (I call it Shit-Rock, although I have heard other people call it Emo), and taking people's money, and it makes me nauseous.

I have a suspicion that everyone in the universe has their polar opposite, and I have found mine. If the two of us ever met, I suspect the universe would implode. So if you ever want to know about me, just look up Chris Carrabba and think the opposite. (With the exception that we both have a penis, but this is only an assumption on my part, and the subject of some debate.) If you ever ask yourself What Would Zero Do? Just think What Would Chris Carrabba Do? Then do the opposite.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Dashboard Confessional Sucks, Emo Sucks, music reviews, rant

On July 11th In The Year Of Our Lord Two Thousand and Six, The Operating Systems Formerly Known as

-Windows 98
-Windows ME

will be Retired. Finished. Done. No longer supported by either Microsoft or myself. Hardware manufacturers will no longer make drivers for these OS's.

Direct from Microsoft's website:

Microsoft is retiring support for these products because they are outdated and can expose customers to security risks. We recommend that customers who are still running Windows 98 or Windows Me upgrade to a newer, more secure Microsoft operating system, such as Windows XP, as soon as possible.

Customers who upgrade to Windows XP report improved security, richer functionality, and increased productivity.


Basically, continuing to run these operating systems is like leaving the large, plastic, glowing snowman and candy canes in your frontyard until July. Looking for patches and drivers for these old systems would be like trimming the grass that has grown up around them.

Worse yet, when some 10-year old hacker from Holland figures out a security flaw in your Windows 98 system, there will be no patch. No fix. No 'download to make it all better.'

So unless you have a computer that is completely offline, and you only use Notepad to keep family recipes on it, then you really might consider changing over to something supported. Like Linux. Or Windows XP. Or just go back to using a paper dayplanner and calendar.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Technology

I was beginning to worry the The Wachowskis had lost it. They had a monster hit with The Matrix, and managed to mangle it with parts 2 and 3. So I tried really hard Not to be impressed by the flashy trailer for "V"

The movie V for Vendetta is quite good. Well paced, and well spoken, although at times it tries a bit too hard to be clever. (The "V" monologue in the alley, for instance, actually made me roll my eyes).

From "V" I discovered that Natalie Portman's hideous acting abilities in Star Wars were only a passing phase! Or is it possible (dare I even suggest!) that giving her a real role with some real lines actually... Um, never mind.

I could have done without Natalie's character constantly running to different men, asking for help/protection. The times she spends not under the care of others is...uneventful. She didn't seem that helpless to me, and it would have been refreshing to see her kick some ass to save the hero (and I don't mean tapping guards on the shoulder and spraying them with mace), or perhaps take up his mask to help him fight the good fight.

I would say the future in "V" did not look so futuristic. Do you really think that in the future everyone will be walking around with RAZR phones? Doubt it. UltraViolet had a much better futuristic look and feel to it.

Aside from these minor trivialities, the plot is really, really good. Not surprising, since the movie is based on a comic book. (Don't worry, I am sure that any time now the Writers Strike in Hollywood will end, and they can start making original movies again.) The complicated plot is well-done without taking a 15-min break in the middle of the movie to explain it, (the way Underworld:Evolution did.) If this movie don't make you want to overthrow the government, then nothing short of listening to 'Rage Against The Machine' will. Let's just hope the plot is not 'timely' or 'visionary' to any degree.

Speaking of 'Rage Against the Machine' I am surprised nothing from them showed up on the soundtrack. The soundtrack for the movie was fairly innocuous, more of a score, really, with few actual songs which in itself was a nice change.

Could it be that Hollywood has put out so much utter shite for so long, that finally releasing something unique and refreshing like "V" earns a 8 out of 10 from yours truly?

Let's just hope that the Wachowski Brothers don't try to make a "V" part 2 or 3. Leave well enough alone.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Hollywood, movie reviews

[The following is an Open Letter to the Open Source Believers out there...]

There was a time when many people thought we could all just live together in Harmony with the world, like Thee Olden Dayse of Yore. Someone would farm, someone would bake the bread, someone would herd the sheep (Since there would be no need for a King, I would be the Hangman...) and we would All Just Get Along Together. I do believe this theory (Communist, Socialist, Whateverist-you-wantist-to-call-it-ist) would work, just as long as everyone actually puts in, and everyone gets what they give. Of couse, we have never seen this work in government, because no government has ever done it. (Although some small, isolated communities in Micronesia might be doing this. And I would even bet *they* use the Metric system, unlike SOME COUNTRIES WE MIGHT NAME...but I digress...)

I have heard people who agree with this philosophy called TreeHuggers.

I see this same paradigm in software today. There are those who think we can just All Program Along Together, Also known as The Open Source Movement. If everyone applies their collective brainpower and coding ability to a problem, it will easily get solved. Even those who are merely end users can contribute by providing constructive feedback, thinking up features, and beta testing. Bam, we all win.

I suggest the word BitHugger be used for individuals who believe that software can be developed this way. I don't mean for this to be a derogatory term, it just seems to fit nicely, and makes some intuitive sense.

I surprised myself to discover that I don't really think that software can be maintained this way for long. Projects like Linux and OpenOffice are phenomenal, and prove that it Can be done, but right now, there is the pervasive "Microsoft Is Evil" philosophy that fuels the online community to work hard at "Sticking it to the Man!" Dude! It's the new Revolution! Make a program just like Windows, and give it away for FREE! HA HA HA! BLOW ME BILL GATES!!! HAHAHAHAHAH....

But what happens once The Man is gone? What happens when Microsoft is bought out and disbanded by Google, and Bill Gates has to fall back on his mad skillz (whatever those are?) What happens once some new bug is discovered in OpenOffice, and now there is NO ALTERNATIVE? Some 13-year-old Hacker in Seattle figures out the fix, and sits there with her finger on the [Submit to CVS] button...and realizes...

"Why should I send this to the world for free?"

Of course, she quickly offers the patch (for a reasonable price) and becomes "THE MAN".

Here in The United States of A-more-ica, we work for a purpose. Always. Coding may be entertainment for some sick individuals, but at some point, you need a continued motivation to continue working. Once the "stick it to the man" fuel runs out, and you aren't getting paid to fix bugs, what are you working for? Prestige? The Golden Code Award?

The only thing for certain is that Americans will not work for free, which is why I believe that the BitHugger philosophy will be short lived.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: New Word, Open Letter, Philosophy, Programming, Technology

This is the third year I have made it to the Annual Boiled In Lead show at First Ave. I was sober-cab for the entourage: Xtina, Jess, Colin, and Jess' VERY SWEET AND NICE AND SINGLE FRIEND Nancy, WHO BY THE WAY, IS SINGLE. There was and opening band, "Savage Aural Hotbed" a band which uses auto parts, containers, and power tools as percussion instruments; a pseudo-cross between Devo and Stomp.

The Minnesota Pipes and Drums (as in Bagpipes) band also made an appearance, as they have in previous years, although we didn't make it to the show in time to see them this year.

Last year, the show started later, (Around 8-ish) and didn't stop till 1:05 AM when the bouncers pushed us out the door. This year, the doors opened at 5, but the idea of pogoing for 9 hours straight is sick, so we figured arriving there about 9-ish would give us plenty of time, and 5 hours of dancing and headbanging should be plenty, right? Bars are open till 2AM now, right?

Wrong.

Boiled in Lead went on at just after 9, and we arrived just after they started. Coolness. And coolness it was, until just before 11 when they took a bow and left. Grr.

The band came back out to play for another fifteen minute encore. Yay.

Then they left. Grr. For good. Double Grr. The roadies started packing up the stage, and some lame-o mix music came on. It wasn't long before we were ushered upstairs to the VIP room, (It seems that everyone is a VIP when they close down the main room...)

WTF?

Didn't First Ave almost close last year because times were so f-ing hard? And now they shut the party down at 11:30? I could tell the crowd had just reached the proper level of intoxication for uninhibited dancing, and they shut it down.

ELEVEN-FUCKING-THIRTY? St Patricks Day on a Friday, and they shut it down before midnight? Sorry dudes, but where I'm from, the party doesn't get started until 10PM, and doesn't peak till after midnight, and that's on a Non-Holiday Weeknight.

From now on, I am not only checking the Start Times for bands, but the Finish Times as well. I recommend you do the same, and make sure to have a backup plan when the bouncers push you out of First Ave at 11:30 and you need to find somewhere to finish what you started...

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: A Day In The Life, holidays, Minneapolis Event, Ubersuck

OK, so it isn't a new word, but I have decided to use the word Photoshop in a new (or at least expanded) slang context.

Meaning:
Fake. False. Phony. Bogus. Sham. Untrue. Not just for pictures, but for performances, personalities, results, and anything else that can be falsified or made untrue.

Usage:
Her hair is so Photoshop.

Did you see American Idol last night? I swear that guy was lipsyncing!
I know! That was so Photoshop!

Heh, tell me those corporate results weren't Photoshopped!

You better not be Photoshopping me!

Good Lord! Are those breasts real or Photoshopped?

What the hell is up with Zero, he is actually pretending to like people?
I know, he has been acting kind of Photoshop lately.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: New Word

After all the e-mail and much 'To-Do' about this matter, I am laying it to rest. Below is a side-by-side comparison (nay, Proof!) that I am in no way resembling, related to, or an acolyte of, Jonathon, "The Dark Count"




Obviously, we both have the same fashion consultant, but there are many differences between us. (BTW: I'm the one on the right.)

Actually, there are only two but they are significant. First, I am slightly shorter. Second (and much more important) is that I am far better-looking. The other differences are not visible from mere pictures, including the fact that I have already proclaimed myself King of the United States long ago, and therefore Will Not be running for President in the 2008 Election.

I hope this puts an end to the confusion.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Fashion, Politics

OK, I just need to clear up this minor misconception. I am in no way, shape or form affiliated with Jonathon (the Impaler) Sharkey, (AKA: 'The Dark Count') who is currently running for Govenor of MN, and also will be running for President in the 2008 election. [Editor's Note May 2007: Hyperlink here has been removed. The site was pulled and replaced with ads.]

Furthermore, I am not a member of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.

It has been pointed out to me by certain people that Jonathon and I have the Exact Same Gothic Cross necklace. I have been informed that dressing like a Hecate Witch/Satanic/Sanguinarian Vampyre/Ordained Dark Priest is a Great-Big-Fashion-NO, and bad for my street cred. (Especially one who is studying to become a Hecate *High* Priest)

The suggestion that we tend to dress alike is preposterous, and I've provided proof below:



The differences are obvious. You can tell from the picture that I piss more evil before breakfast than Jonathan the Choir Boy has seen in his lifetime. (I'm the one on the left.)

From Jonathan's own website: [Editors Update June 2007 - Website link retracted, as website was pulled and replaced with ads.]


Jonathon's first "Spell" ever, was a "Death Curse." Though Jonathon is very pleasant to be around, he is a follower of the "Dark Side" of "The Craft." His powers and abilities are unmatched!


I'm speechless.

Jonathon, I'm sorry, but Satan is my personal psychiatrist, and he's Never Fucking Heard Of You.

H.S.,
-CZ

Labels: political, Politics

See that blog post below? The one about the Oscars? That is about all I did this weekend. After several weeks of Drama, Death, and Expensive Car Repairs, I wished for a weekend of Pure Boredom, and I got it.

I laid on the couch for most of Saturday. Got dressed long enough to eat some Tibetan Soup in Uptown, and take in NightWatch at the Uptown theatre. Pretty good (the soup and the movie). Kind of disjointed, and non-Hollywood. (That's a Good thing). Laid on the couch for almost all of Sunday. Slept on-and-off, and worked on the Handbook on-and-off. Got dressed long enough to get a haircut, and visit quickly with my neighbor. Here are some other things I did Not do:

I didn't watch video of any kind (TV, DVD, Video Games)
I didn't even step foot inside my studio
I didn't do any bills, laundry, or dishes
I didn't study any German for my Exam on Monday
I didn't clean anything (Although I did clean the fridge out of Diet Coke)

I Did however, sleep for about 40 hours, and wrote about 12 pages in the Handbook, and proofread about 100 more, bringing my totals up to 300 proofread pages, and 544 pages total.

All in all a freaking dream weekend. I think this is what I will shoot for in my retirement. Boredom is good.

Sometimes.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: A Day In The Life, Hollywood, movie reviews

I guess you have to ask yourself if you really care what a bunch of people in Hollywood think is important.

Actors are actors because they don't have any other marketable skills. Their skills rate slightly above Models, and slightly below Stand-Up-Comedians (since *they* actually write their own material). If they had any real talent, they would be in theatre, where there is no ADR, no retakes, no CG, (ie: no Post Production)!

And if actors all want to move to the coast, and band together and call their work meaningful and important...

What-ever. No different than if a bunch of avid role-playing-gamers decided to move to Duluth, MN and look back over the year 2005 in review. I can see the awards now...

Best L.A.R.P. Death
Best Dungeon Trap
Best Dungeon Puzzle Room
Best New Monster
Best Elvish Character Name Not Swiped From LOTR
Best Female Gamer in A Non-Traditional Role Play
Best Sci-Fi Roleplay Game Plot
...You get the idea

As far as comparing movies, it is so subjective the concept doesn't even make sense. Was the Sound Design in Memoirs of a Geisha better than King Kong?

Please.

It is very American to want to pick The Best from all the categories. This is because Americans are very Simple, and *The Best* is a concept for them that is easy to understand. One Winner. Everything else = Loser.

I would rather see a year in review, where they touch on all the movies released, the good and the bad. The High-Budget Blockbusters and the Low Budget Independents. No need to proclaim any of them Winners or Losers. Show me the highlights and lowlights and the memorable performances; that is entertainment.

But showing me what top three of anything that Hollywood thinks is important?

I couldn't care less.

BTW: Isn't California supposed to slide into the ocean any day now? Man, it's taking for-ever...

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: americans, anti, Hollywood, Movie News

Click the link above to read the story of someone who came to the sad realization many have already learned since the letters D.R.M (Digital Rights Management) darkened our data collections.

I almost feel bad about the thousands of people who are falling for the iShackle, (sorry, I meant, iPod). I suspect a higher number of them are younger people, who quickly click past all the legaleze of the indecipherable End User License Agreement of their iFools (sorry, I meant iTunes) accounts. Some day, they will realize that iTunes sells a SERVICE and not a PRODUCT, that their music is LEASED and not BOUGHT. It won't be long before they realize they have been fisted, and the saying 'Never trust anyone over 30' becomes the anthem for disillusioned 20-somethings...

Print this blog post out and tape it to your refridgerator door. In ten years from now (probably less) check the newswire for this article,


'Local man fined for listening to music'
Mr Local Guy was more than a little irate when his ten-year old iPod finally bit the dust, and he went to purchase another one from AppleSoft, only to discover that the company had phased the product line (along with the MP6 format) out of existance.

Not to be daunted, Mr Guy downloaded a hacker/conversion program from BitTorrent, and he was able to translate his MP6 files from iTunes into an unprotected ancient technology MP3 Format, still popular among the hacker L337 community. It did not take long for AppleSoft Security Enforcement to deduct a significant fine from his credit account, lock down his transportation and communication services, and change his food-delivery service to MLSR (Minimum-Life-Sustaining-Requirements).

'But how am I supposed to listen to my music collection?' ranted Mr Guy, 'I paid over ten thousand American Euros for my MP6s! I own them! Theyre MINE!'

'Not so', says AppleSoft janitor, Bill Gates, 'Had he read the EULA, he would know that the DRM really does not allow any user to translate the media to any other format, or play them on any unsupported devices.'

When asked how users were supposed to listen to their music collections without supported hardware, the answer came quickly.

'Simple,' Gates laughed, 'they just go over to the new AppleSoft MP7 site and buy them again! The MP6 technology is so six weeks ago! He should be glad we let him access that old stuff for so long!'

Now, with the new-and-improved DRM2 looming on the horizon, With it's built-in 6-month-limit feature, which automatically turns all music into Dashboard Confessional songs after 6-months unless customers keep their liscense payments up to date, people are more wary than ever about the new technology. (Of course members who purchase the DRM-Platinum-Plus-AppleSoft-Tunes Account have the limit extended to 9 months.)...



usw,
-CZ

Labels: anti, DRM Sucks, Music Industry, rant