I can't really remember the last time I saw SNL, but I remember it was a long time ago, and I remember it hadn't been funny for a longer while yet. So I was quite surprised to find this little gem. If they had more stuff like this, that was actually funny, I might have kept watching...

...nah, probably not.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Funny, Videos

Sunday we had a good recording session. Unsere Freundin came over to record with us, and made us quite happy with sombre notes of cello-ness for the track 'Monsters' which is very nearly pronounced as *written*, but still needs the magic charms of a certain Geek Goddess via the viola...

Of course, had we any idea the length of time the process of writing the album would take, we might never have started. We began this project back around July/Aug 2005, and still are racing to complete even just the writing of the songs before other work takes its place.

We also had no idea that the album, now known as 'Days From Evil' would resolve into the genre of Epic Gothic Metal, certainly a genre that could use a push...


Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: Days From Evil, Jagged Spiral

It occurred to me while watching Lord of the Rings - Return of the King that if Faramir would have just got some balls, whupped his crazy old man, and took charge, things might have gone better for them in the battle at Minas Tirith. Oh well, I suppose it worked out OK.

Also, those damn hawk things that flew in at the end of the movie, where the hell were *they* before? Wouldn't it have been a better plan to fly Frodo into Mordor, nix the ring, party on the patio, and Bob's your uncle?

I noticed a lot of 'knowing glances' between Gandalf and Perigrin Took that were in the Extended DVD version, not to mention lots of touchy-feely moments between them throughout ROTK. I have a feeling the Hobbit might have been intrigued by the Magic Staff, if you know what I mean...

It did make me sad that after all the good done by Frodo and friends, they finally return home and they don’t seem particularly happy. I guess the payoff is that they aren’t dead which isn’t uplifting at all. Jack Nicholson was right, the story has too many damn endings. The story should have ended sooner, and left us with the illusion of ‘happily ever after’. The whole surreality of the boat sailing to 'the undying lands' or whatever sounds like someone had too much LSD. I'm sure there is a reason everyone who touched the ring got booted off the continent. Guess I will have to read the books again, I havent read them in some time...

Also, is anyone else annoyed by the sheer amount of time the camera was locked on the face of Liv Tyler's expressionlessness? No wonder the extended DVD version is 4 hours long. Well, at least you get your money's worth. Oh, she's no Catherine Elise Blanchett but she ain't half-bad-lookin neither, so I guess I shouldn't complain.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: movie reviews

This post is in response to latest post from Missmollygrue over at blogspot.

I think the primary reason why most movies right now are poop is due to overload. There are more movies available than ever before at any given time. 16-screen mega-theatres? Cable/Dish-On-Demand/Netflix/BitTorrent? DVD players in laptops and cars? This massive mass-distribution causes the industry to kick out product that is cheap-plastic-shiny-on-the-outside-but-not-too-expensive-on-the-inside. They spend more time talking about which special-effects to use than they do working on the script. They go for the marketing-department-approved-R.O.I., which has a rubber stamp of approval for crap like 'The Dukes of Hazzard' or 'Home Alone 8', or Anne Rice [Fill in book title here] or Harry Potter [Fill in version number here].

[Editors Note: Do people ever make movies based off books that Weren’t best sellers?]

Regardless, this business model is the Wal-Mart method of movie production, which stresses Quantity of sure-returns over Quality pieces of artwork. (I suggest we call them Wal-Movies...)

Because of the ridiculous volume of media available, it will take time for the cream of the crop to rise, and all of the overhyped poop to sink to the bottom. My point is - it is difficult to see what will stand the test of time until some time has passed. We know now that The Police were doing good music, because you still hear it today, and we know that Air Supply was garbage, because you don't. We know that Dashboard Confessional is dogpoop squared, but it will take some time before the lustre of overhyped prodution, product placement, and the kickbacks to magazines and radio stations wear off, and the public is left with simply the product.

This does not change the fact that the majority of movies made right now truly are poop, and you won't see a single movie from the year 2005 mentioned in 2010 when they highlight the current decade. My theory is that there are some gems being made (or at least written), but they aren’t being made by the people with the $$$ to get them onto the big screen.

To those who would say that movies suck simply because Americans have nothing to say (Josh), I would say that is not entirely true, but rather that 99 percent of Americans have nothing NEW or INTERESTING to say, and they get a large budget to say it with. Americans have become quite adept at repackaging other people's ideas and selling them, or in more motivated cases, putting a spin on the original idea, but that requires original ideas, and those 1 percent have to come from somewhere, and they are not all imported from foreign countries with subtitles.

I would argue that much of that 1 percent of clever, original, genre-breaking-movie-making is an untapped resource known as Independent artists. The audio industry is discovering this now, and the video industry is sure to follow. As the living-room entertainment center gets more tightly connected to internet distribution methods, and as websites (like video.google.com, youtube.com etc) start doing for independent video what they currently do for audio (garageband.com, mp3tunes.com, magnatune.com etc..) The volume of video media available will increase exponentially.

I predict that at first, this will be video Nirvana. A rennaisance of filmmaking creativity which will make Hollywood shrivel up and die like the testicles of a bull being casterated. Unfortunately, this utopia will not last, as the market floods, and suddenly, video of someone's girlfriend's breast augmentation surgery is deemed 'art', alongside a 12-hour security camera tape of SuperAmerica titled, 'A Day In The Life Of Johnny' in which nothing happens. Toss in some payoffs to websites for a link, which raises their social network ranking, and suddenly, we have the video version of 'Dashboard Confessional' - Dogpoop cubed. Suddenly, that 1 percent becomes .01 percent.

And the cycle Lathers, Rinses, and Repeats.

Hopefully, someone is working on a computer program which can watch a movie for me and tell if I will like it or not before I watch it. What would that be like, to only watch good movies? Weird...

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: consumerism, Cultural Observation, Culture, Hollywood, indie movies, Movie News, Predictions

I was just ROFL over this post and I couldn't agree more, but I can actually add one thing she missed.

I suspect the grocery store she frequents does not have the New-And-Improved-Employee-Replacing-Self-Checkout but if it does, this is a major complainable item, and the number one reason that I don't frequent [Fill In The Blank Megastore] Foods unless absolutely necessary.

If there was ever a device devised to slow you down and make your checkout experience as frustrating as humanly (now inhumanly) possible, it is the Self-Checkout. Before they arrived I would have agreed that the job of cash register clerk was one of the first that should be replaced by a computer, (Right after the DMV and the Post Office)

As anti-social as I am, I still would prefer a 16-year old, slacker, high-school dropout wearing an Ipod to scan my groceries. Why? Because they don't talk as much as that fucking machine. 'Please scan the next item!' 'Please scan the next item!' 'Please scan the next item!'

HOW DO YOU SHUT THIS FUCKING THING UP?

I've done the self-checkout several times (Hmm, maybe I should rephrase that...) enough to call myself 'proficient' at it. I don't need to be told to scan the next item, or where the credit card reader is, or to take my change. I don't need an annoying BOOP audio cue to tell me the bar code was properly scanned - an on-screen visual of the item added to the list is sufficient. What I need is the ability to turn the damn speaker off, which should have been the second control installed on this million-dollar-annoyance, right after the ON/OFF switch.

Also, which do you think is faster at scanning a hundred items UPC codes? A 16-year old, slacker, high-school dropout who scans bar codes all day and plays marathon HALO deathmatch all night....or you?

Furthermore, If I am going through the self-checkout, shouldn't I be getting some kind of discount on my bill? Aren't I doing the checkout for the store, so they can lay off some poor kid making minimum wage? Why don't they tie brooms to the bottoms of all the shopping carts, and I can sweep the fucking floor for them while I make my rounds, and they can lay off a janitor while they are at it....

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: anti, rant

Dear KARE 11,

What is WRONG with your evening news? Who made the decision to show live video of a woman and her child being hit by a car? That is fucking sick and wrong. Precursoring the video with some announcement that it 'may be disturbing' does NOT give you the right to show shit like that. What about people who don't have the sound up? What about people like me, who were simply walking through the living room while the TV is on, and are suddenly and unwillingly subjected to horrific, graphic violence of that caliber? If people want to see that, they will go to the movie theatre, pay for it, and watch it on their own terms.

Since no one there at KARE is intelligent enough to filter your news, I am happy to help you out. Here are some tips that will boost your ratings:

1) Find whomever chose/approved/allowed that video to air, drag them out to the parking lot, run them over (with their own car), videotape it and show it to their family. Make sure to get the camera up close to their faces, to catch their initial, horrified reactions.

2) Change your call letters to SHIT

You sick bastards,

Sincerely,
Conrad Zero

Labels: Open Letter, rant