Tuesday, July 27, 2004

What happened to Jewel?

Just take a look at the descent of a starlet from true natural beauty (Pieces of You, 1995) to complete-fake-sellout-catty-starlet-wannabe (This Way, 2001)

Unfortunately, the fan who set up this site clearly has vacated long ago, probably hung himself after seeing the such a pretty girl like Jewel shapeshift into a record industry whore. Sad to say that Brittney Spears has more artistic integrity.

Goodbye Jewel, I will miss you.

Blog on,
-C

Labels: Fashion, music reviews

Posted by Zero1:19 PM

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Blessed Cell Phone

Now here is something new; a cellphone blessed by the Chinese Goddess of the Sea.

Or, check out this phone for our Islamic friends, "will feature an integrated compass for praying to Mecca and an alarm to keep you on schedule for your five daily prayers."

So where is the Catholic Pope-ma-phone that shames you, automaticlly blocks any numbers starting in 976, and constantly reminds you to call your mother?

Blog on,
-C

Labels: Cool Product, Technology

Posted by Zero1:09 PM

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Musician Humor

Here are some lovely musician jokes to brighten your day, complements of the Neurosturgeons...

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician."

She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?

A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.

Q: What's the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: What's the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?

A: You can hit a baseball further with a bassoon.

Q: What's the difference between a dead chicken in the road, and a dead trombonist in the road?

A: There's a remote chance the chicken was on its way to a gig.

Q: What's the difference between a bull and a band?

A: The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back.

Q: How do you define a perfect pitch?

A: When the accordian lands in the MIDDLE of the dumpster.

Blog on,
-C

Labels: Funny

Posted by Zero8:26 AM

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Monday, July 26, 2004

Movie Review: Catwoman

Alright, I'll admit it. I would pay the cost of a movie ticket just to watch Halle Berry put away her groceries. So it was a safe bet that I would line up at the theatre Friday night to see Catwoman.

Alright, I'll admit it. The movie was bad. At best. [Editor's Update Mar 2007: Catwoman ended up on the 2007 'worst 100 reviewed movies list' at rottentomatoes.com]

I was disappointed in the silly mask they made her wear; I would have preferred something less complicated, just a pair of ears perhaps (Like Josie and the Pussycats). Anyways, the plot was poor, even for a comic-book plot. The need for them to show the genesis of the catwoman character ruined the movie with its cheesiness.

The sets were fine. I liked the cameras moving through the sets, and the transitions from C.G. to real life were imperceptible. I thought the casting was spot on, Sharon Stone for the villainess was a good call.

I went in hoping for good and expecting fair, and I was still disappointed. I really wanted this to be a better movie than it was, I guess what landed this movie in the sandbox was the script and (it pains me to point it out) the acting of Halle Berry.

On a similar note, I bought the video game by the same name, hoping for a better plot and better acting. Unfortunately it is completely unplayable.

Meow on,
-C

Labels: movie reviews

Posted by Zero9:33 AM

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The Future of Law Enforcement

Hey, need some extra cash? Freelancesecurity.com lists opportunities for private investigators and freelancers. Bid on a job providing protection to people travelling to Bangladesh! Follow someone's husband around to see if he is cheating! Investigate cases of identity fraud! Assassinate Foreign Dignitaries! Hell, I'd do this stuff for free!

I think this will be the future preferred method for dealing justice. Think about it; if you aren't satisfied with the public school system, you pay for a private school. If you aren't happy with the public library, you go to your local bookstore. If you aren't happy with the public judicial system, you pay a private party.

Well, gotta go pack my bags. I leave for Bangladesh in the morning...

Spy on,
-C

Labels: Business Phenomena, Cool Product, Ubercool

Posted by Zero9:16 AM

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Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Random Thoughts

Although he won't admit it, "The Dude" is a personal friend, pessimist, and ocassionally pretty funny. After much prompting from people such as myself, he has started his own blog.

Blog on,
-C

Labels: Blogging

Posted by Zero8:10 AM

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