Enjoy.

Wisdom, Part Two

Blog on,

-Zero

Perhaps this is old news and I am the last to catch on, but I’m enjoying the trend of indie short videoblogs being hurled at the interweb. Two I am currently addicted to:

Hope Is Emo (Thanks GrammaEm for the link)

The Show with ZeFrank

This is a significant trend, for something to catch my attention enough that (dare I say) LOOK FORWARD to seeing more of these programs. I really can’t recall the last time I anticipated a TV show, since the X-Files ended, but ‘Hope’ and ‘ZeFrank’ have rekindled my spirit towards the new media.

Blog on,
-CZ

I recently read about a Sociologist who was doing a study of bathroom graffiti across the nation. He calls it Graffiti Archeology. It makes sense really – in complete privacy and anonymity, people have the opportunity to write absolutely anything they like, and they know it will be read by members of the general public. (Well, of the same gender anyways).  There’s got to be some useful info to be found in aggregate trends of geographic, gender and other divisions. For example, does women’s restroom graffiti have more profanity than men’s? Does gas station restroom graffiti differ from other types? Do urban graffiti topics differ from rural ones?

It occurred to me that blogs could be analyzed in the same way. And they smell better too. Mostly. But it would be tough to account for info like location, gender and such since the blogger might be lying. (Could happen.) Even so, a person’s blog probably says as much about them as the bumper stickers on their car, and one could (if one were so inclined) perform an analysis of a person by the content in their blog. Is the content cheerful and upbeat? Or brooding and cynical? Is it all about themselves, or the world around them, or some balance between the two?

Anyway, it would be an interesting experiment for all you fellow bloggers out there to take a look through your posts and decide what they tell the world about you, and what that could mean. Looking back through my own posts as though they were written by someone I did not know, I would guess the following:

• This person likes Computers, Underrated B Movies, and Industrial Music
• This person hates DRM, Dashboard Confessional, Quentin Tarrentino, Over-Hyped Movies That Fail To Deliver, and Stereotypical American Attitudes
• This person probably wears a lot of Black
• This person is a Listmaker

Blog on,
-CZ

I don’t get too bent about gas prices. I actually think it’s kind of funny that people drive their Chevy Grand Suburban GTXLZS Warner Bros Edition to work every day, and then get their knickers in a twist when gas prices go up fifty cents. Those people are the first to jump on the web and hunt down the cheapest gas prices in town. Instead of going to sites like this one *before* they buy a vehicle.

Kind of seems like eating an Octawhopper every day for lunch, and then going to the gym to work it off.

Heh, Americans.

Blog on,
-CZ

Another fine experience with the self-checkout, this time at Home Depot, where they fired all the checkout people, replaced them with a finicky machine, and try to get consumers to interface with the fucking thing.

Seems to me that they could take that person who greets you at the door with applications for Home Depot Credit Cards and move him over to the checkout lanes, but I guess they would rather pay him to stand and look sad if you don’t take one. (I actually had one of them tell me he had a quota of those things to give away.)

It surprises me that they don’t have vendors selling snacks in the checkout lines, I mean, people get hungry/thirsty after a while, but I guess they do have candy bars and pop near the checkout. Is it OK to open a Diet Coke and drink it before you’ve paid for it?

Anyways, I thought it would be fun to stand at the Exit of businesses using self-checkout, and hand out questionnaires to gather consumer opinions. Since I would more likely be shot than applauded for such actions, (not by the establishment, but by surly customers who just survived the Self Checkout) I figured it was safer (and easier, let’s be honest) to release the survey form here on the interweb. Now you can print them out on a day where you aren’t quite as crabby as I am, and fill them out in all honesty, and drop them off at the shops that think it is OK to cut back on staff and have you do all the work.

Self-Checkout Evaluation Form

Blog on,
-CZ

Milwaukee finally beat Minneapolis at something. Forbes.com reports that Minneapolis pulled second place in America’s Drunkest Cities.

I’ve always said there isn’t much to do in Minneapolis besides:

• Drink
• Write Horror / Dark Fiction / Progressive Rock Music

(If I missed anything, let me know) In that respect, Minneapolis is a lot like Iceland, except we don’t have Bjork.

Trust me, we’re working on it. And next year Minneapolis is going to come back and steal the gold from Milwaukee.

Jose Cuervo Gold, that is.

Blog on,
-CZ

Ordinarily, I’m against ‘practical’ jokes, but even I thought this was pretty funny.

A group of about 225 people descend on a Home Depot and synchronize moving very slowly and then freezing for five minutes. They got some video of the event. Classic. I have definitely had days where I wasn’t running at the same speed as the rest of the world, for those who have never experienced it, the videos after the link will show you what it must look like.

Thanks to Digg.com for the tip…

Blog on,
-CZ

11:05 AM

Called Belkin tech support. After navigating the phone push-button menu hell which was designed for those paid by the hour, I was placed into the waiting queue. The great thing about being on hold with Tech Support is that I can do almost anything and it still counts as work (to me, anyways). That includes internet research…

11:47 AM

The words “Your call is important to us” have burned into my brain along with the smooth jazz music to create a kind of annoying emo song that I am certain I could sell to Dashboard Confessional, I’m sure they would play it exactly the way it sounds in my head, and I’m sure I would hate it royally.

12:09 PM

Much to my surprise, someone answers the phone.

Belkin Support Tech 1: “So what is the problem?”

Me: “The new, Belkin Gigabit Ethernet card model F5D5005 won’t connect to the network switch at one Gig speed.”

Tech1: “A gig?”

Me: “Yeah, one thousand Meg. It will only connect at 100 Meg. I’ve downloaded the latest drivers…”

Tech1: “Um, what internet service provider do you have?”

Me: “This has nothing to do with my internet service provider, I can’t connect to the network switch at one gig speed.”

Tech1: “Network?”

Me: “Yes, this is a business, we have a network, and the card will only connect to the switch at 100 meg. Not at one Gig, like it’s supposed to.”

Tech1: “Hmm. Well, if you could tell me your internet service provider…”

Me: “This problem is not related to the internet, it’s probably just a bad card. Our internet service provider can’t help you.”

Tech1: “I’m sorry, I can’t process a ticket without knowing your internet service provider.”

Me: “Sure. Fine. My internet service provider is a company called ‘N Slash A’. That’s ‘N’ as in Nancy…”

Tech1: “Could you hold please?”

12:09 PM

Put back on hold.

12:11 PM

New support person Tech2. Redescribed problem. He asked what OS I was running.

12:13 PM

Put back on hold.

12:15 PM

New tech support person.

Tech3: “Are you sure the hub you are trying to connect to is a gigabit hub?”

Me: “Yes, it’s a Belkin Gigabit 8-port switch, model F5D5141-8. I have five other people connected to it at one Gig, so I know it works.”

Tech3: “Hold on.”

12:16 PM

Back on hold.

I’m wondering at this point if they realize that I’m enjoying the quiet time they are giving me. At least three people poked their head in the office, and the speakerphone pumping out smooth jazz and assurances of how bloody important my call is keep them all at bay. Good thing I called so early in the day. I’ve completely caught up on all my e-mail, news, and blogs at this point. Even sent an e-mail request to Belkin’s online tech support to see if the e-mail support might be faster, which would be kind of funny.

12:20 PM

A voice interrupts my game of  Sugarcrash:

Tech4: “What I want you to do is to uninstall and reinstall the card please.”

Me: “I already did that.”

Tech4: “I know, but sometimes these things just get screwed up, and uninstalling then reinstalling fixes the problem.”

Me: “Sure. Fine. I need to get a screwdriver, can you hold on?”

Tech4: “Yes.”

12:24 PM

Tech4 is on hold as I look for a screwdriver. I couldn’t find one in the bathroom, (although I did take the opportunity to use the facilities and wash my hands. Twice.) Also could not find a screwdriver in the breakroom, although someone had left some orange juice in the fridge, so that was pretty close. I settled for a Diet Coke.

12:28 PM

Finally found a screwdriver in my office, and returned to the computer and (surprisingly) tech4, still on hold.

Me: “Are you still there?”

Tech4: “Mmm Hmm.”

12:30 PM

I proceed to remove the card, restart the computer, remove and reload the drivers. Shutdown, insert the card, restart the computer. The problem is still there.

12:45 PM

Back on hold

12:48 PM

Another tech (not tech4 or tech1, but possibly tech2) tells me the card is bad, and they are sending another one.

I hope the problem isn’t with the card, I could use another hour or two of relaxing ‘tech support time’…

Blog on,
-CZ

Not sure yet if this site was meant to scare people with the perpetual knowledge that the entire Mulitverse might shut down Any Fucking Minute Now…

…or to cheer up people like me, who can’t wait for Universal Retirement.

Those who didn’t think the end was coming, I give you:
Obvious Signs of the End Of Days

• Metal Emo (WTF?)
• The Existence of Marilyn Manson
• The Existance of Mark Mallman
• The Existance of Ringtones for The Fray’s ‘Over My Head’
• The fact that Dashboard Confessional has more ‘friends’ than Motorhead

Blog on,
-CZ