A great website for a great cause, http://www.circusofbrassandbone.com is an online serial-story by fellow MNSpec author, Abra Staffin Wiebe.

The Story

The Circus of Brass and Bone is a steampunk fiction story set primarily in 1800′s America. Although, since the main source of power in this alternate reality is aether and not steam, it’s more accurately labeled as aetherpunk.

From the website:

After the collapse of civilization, the show goes on….

The Cause

Abra’s mom is in some dire straits. She has an advanced cancer compounded by no job and no savings. You can read more about her situation here, but the upshot is that Abra is releasing The Circus of Brass and Bone on a “Pay What You Can” basis in order to raise funds to help offset her medical expenses.

What YOU can do to Help:

1-Read

Check out Episode One: Everyone Dies or listen to the podcast. You’ll find out just what a great writer Abra is.

2-Connect

Subscribe to the podcast, get on the e-mail list, friend up the facebook fan site. Check out the links below, so you don’t miss any of the upcoming episodes.

3-Donate

Seriously, Abra’s mom needs your help. Skip your daily Grande Mocha Frappuccino and toss a couple bucks towards a good cause.  Click here to Donate directly to Abra Staffin Wiebe through PayPal.

4-Share

Blog, Twit, Stumble, Digg, Friend, Comment and Like the hell out of this.

Links

• The Circus of Brass and Bone Website – Note, the e-mail list signup form can be found here.
• RSS Feed for each Episode
• The Circus of Brass and Bone Facebook Fan Page

Yours Darkly,

-Zero

I’ve been coding, registering, hosting and managing websites for over ten years now, and in that time I’ve worked with many companies. Since GoDaddy.com first came out, I’ve bitten my tongue. I understand the need for a provider that can be operated by people without a Computer Science Degree, even if they are the McDonald’s of Web Host Providers (meaning Low Price / Low Quality /High Volume business model.)

Over the years, GoDaddy has filled that niche in the market and gone gangbusters with their tasteless Super Bowl advertisements. I bet they are the one of the few web hosts people know by name.  But as Thomas Umstattd Jr. points out 6 Reasons Why You Should Avoid GoDaddy on authortechtips.com, it’s pretty safe to say GoDaddy has gone to the dark side. I will only cover a couple of his points in more detail here, and I can add a seventh reason why you should look someplace else for a web host provider.

The Upsell

Thomas’s second reason to avoid GoDaddy.com is that they are expensive. I don’t agree. Thomas suggests some alternative hosts that are cheaper, but seriously, to save One Dollar and Seventy Cents PER YEAR??? Like I said, it’s important to have a provider that caters to people who can’t even spell SQL. I’d actually expect newbie web-designers to pay more for the hand-holding that GoDaddy provides. Less than a buck per month to keep your name registered is not “expensive.”

However, he does point out that GoDaddy makes it sound like web hosting is going to cost less than it really does, and then they come in with the upsell. This is completely accurate. GoDaddy has become a master of the upsell. Because their target market are newbies who don’t know their DNS from a hole in the ground, GoDaddy baits its users into purchasing services they don’t need. Authors especially are likely to be intrigued by GoDaddy’s marketing, promotional, and web-optimization products which are nothing but Virtual Snake Oil.

And charging a fee to move your site registration? There’s too many hosts out there to put up with that kind of behavior.

Difficult to use

Thomas’ third reason not to use GoDaddy.com is that it is “hard to use.” This is like saying wiping your ass with a chainsaw is “uncomfortable.”  Their attempts to make webhosting ‘simple’ for newbies only make it frustrating for people who know what they are doing. It’s like trying to browse the internet using AOL. Like Thomas, I roll my eyes every time I have to work on a client’s site via GoDaddy.com.

What generally happens is that Joe User wants a website, registers a domain name at GoDaddy.com, purchases a year of hosting, and then….? Contacts someone like myself to “make it work.” Unfortunately, GoDaddy isn’t made for people to use, it’s made to sell extra services. What should take two clicks takes twenty. And digging through page after ad-laden page to get to what you want requires the accuracy of playing a First Person Shooter. God forbid you don’t get a headshot on the link you wanted, or you’ll probably end up buying something.

Hard to Leave

I can add one more item that Thomas forgot:

#7 – GoDaddy is hard to leave.

GoDaddy makes it very difficult to transfer your site off to another host. Website names registered with GoDaddy belong to GoDaddy if I’m reading the contract right. And to move them to another website takes more than your fair share of work and money. Read the fine print of your EULA and see for yourself.

An Argument *For* Jubblies

Thomas’s sixth argument against GoDaddy is that “GoDaddy Uses Smut to Sell.” Let’s be honest, that pretty much exemplifies Marketing 101 here in America. So while it is a valid point, it would be a pretty long list of products and services we wouldn’t be buying if we used that as criteria.

For extra credit, listen to Stuart Davis’ song “Sex That Sells” from his album Big Energy Dream – a marvelous mock of the subject.

Go Daddy, Just Go

Short version? Go Away from GoDaddy. Honestly, if you can’t figure out website hosting and registration, then you shouldn’t be doing it. Find someone who knows what they’re doing and let them pick out a name registrar and host for you.

Thomas has recommendations for other website hosts in his post. Check them out.

I’ve been with dreamhost.com from day one, and I have nothing but good things to say about them. They offer an insane amount of bandwidth and storage space for a very reasonable price. The bells and whistles are there if you want them, but Dreamhost doesn’t push them down your throat. Dreamhost’s web  interface makes GoDaddy look like the joke that they are. And NO snake oil. Click here to check them out. (Full Disclosure – This is an affiliate link. I get some $ if you sign up with dreamhost through this link.)

-Zero

My cousin Andrew told me about a funny video called The Legend of Old Gregg. After a bit of sifting on youtube, I found plenty of references to the show, some clipped-out highlights, and many people misspelled the name as “Old Greg”. With some patience, I was able to piece together and watch the whole episode. It was so funny, I tracked down the entire British sitcom called “The Mighty Boosh.”

The show follows the exploits of two English blokes: Howard Moon (played by Julian Barrett) and and Vince Noir (played by Noel Fielding). Their everyday lives as zookeepers, storeowners, and musicians is interrupted every episode by the most strange and funny situations and the most bizarre characters imaginable:

• Old Gregg the scaly, man-fish
• The Spirit of Jazz
• Betamax (yes, the non-VHS tape format)
• The Crack Fox
• Black Frost, a creature who freezes people solid with smoke that comes out of his… um, you’ll have to watch the show…
• The Hitcher, a strange green man with a giant thumb wearing a doughnut over one eye.
• A giant wad of bubble gum
• A horrible demon in the form of a nice old Nana

In the tradition of Monty Python (and inexpensive movie production) you will see Julian Barrett and Noel Fielding appear in multiple roles in each episode.

After watching all three seasons I can tell you that The Mighty Boosh is awesome. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. If there were more fun shows like this on TV instead of all the bullshit crime/courtroom/medical drama, I’d be tempted to actually start watching TV again.

To get your feet wet, head over to The Mighty Boosh YouTube channel and poke around. It won’t take long before the Power of the Crimp compels you.

All three seasons of The Mighty Boosh have been released on DVD, and it’s on Netflix too, so check it out, and make sure to catch The Legend of Old Gregg from Season Two. It’s even funnier if you follow Howard Moon and Vince Noir through their adventures from the beginning. Then when you get to the third season and watch “The Power of the Crimp” you’ll totally get it.

Crimping

Noel Fielding and Julian Barrett developed a synchronized-a-cappella-scat-song format they call a Crimp.  It was just this little thing they would do during their shows, but it eventually got popular enough that they gave it a name in the season three episode, The Power of the Crimp.

You can read more about Crimping here on Wikipedia.

The Future Sailors Tour

As I write this, The Mighty Boosh are touring the united states, but earlier sections of the tour have been recorded and you can catch them on this DVD called Thank Boosh It’s Friday.

The Documentary of the Future Sailors Tour

And if that’s not enough, someone is doing a movie of the Mighty Boosh on Tour called Journey of the Childmen:

How can any fan of HP Lovecraft not pick up a book with a title like “The Mall of Cthulhu”? For those who aren’t familiar with Lovecraft’s work, one of his more famous writings is called The Call of Cthulhu, and deals with a tentacled monster from another dimension that’s so mind-numbingly horrific that to even describe it would drive you mad, mad I say, so as I public service I won’t describe it.

The cover art is top-notch, causing the book to damned near leap off the shelf at me. So with a quick run through my nearly foolproof book pre-screening system, and I was ready for some tentacle-laden, Lovecraftian, horror-comedy.

Publisher’s Synopsis

A decade ago, college student Laura Harker was saved from a fate worse than death at the hands (and fangs) of a centuries-old vampire priestess and her Satanic minions. Her rescuer, an awkward, geeky folklore student named Teddy, single-handedly slew the undead occupants of the Omega Alpha sorority house, spurred into heroic action by fate itself, inexorably intertwining his and Laura’s destinies.

After navigating her way through law school, Laura is now a junior FBI agent assigned to the Bureau’s Boston office. Unfortunately, she finds her job involves more paperwork than adventure. Ted, on the other hand, has spent the past decade perfecting the ultimate latte, and works as a barista in a nearby corporate chain coffeehouse named for a character in Moby Dick.

When Ted stumbles onto a group of Cthulhu cultists planning to awaken the Old Ones through mystic incantations culled from the fabled Necronomicon, calling forth eldritch horrors into an unsuspecting world. He and Laura must spring into action, traveling from Boston to the seemingly-peaceful suburbs of Providence and beyond, all the way to the sanity-shattering non-Euclidian alleyways and towers of dread R’lyeh itself, in order to prevent an innocent shopping center from turning into… The Mall of Cthulhu.

-From http://nightshadebooks.com/cart.php?m=product_detail&p=119

My Review

At 235 pages, The Mall of Cthulhu was a quick read. The pace was snappy. The writing was clean and error-free.

The plot flowed well, although there were a couple leaps of faith that require you to not suspend your disbelief as much as tie it up in a rubber gimp outfit. I know Providence, Rhode Island isn’t very big, but running into a Cthulhu cultist (one that you are looking for, no less) buying bayberry spice candles at Ye Olde New England Candlery in the mall isn’t a stretch, it’s a tear in the space-time continuum. However, running into a Cthulhu cultist buying bayberry spice candles at the Ye Olde New England Candlery is damn funny. Seamus does a good job of using comedy as an effective plot-patching, hand-waving, rubber-chicken-waving tool. When the plot jumped, I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to get mad about it.

The story is written from 3rd person limited POV, bouncing back and forth between two protagonists: Ted, the scruffy and emotionally damaged barista with the inner resources to lop vampires heads off with an axe when necessary, but not the ability to cope with the memories of his actions, and Laura, the hot and proper, emotionally damaged, lesbian FBI agent. The dynamic between these two is great, and the way it changes through the story (when a little red pepper is added…) is well done.

Those expecting a HP Lovecraft clone may be disappointed. This is a parody. However, fans of Lovecraft will get more laughs out of this story. The part where Ted is stuck in R’lyeh and ponders “…his own reality with its comforting, Euclidean geometry…” had me laughing so hard my stomach hurt. And the name dropping of August Derleth and such… well, if you don’t get it, it won’t ruin the book for you, but it adds to the humor if you’re in on the jokes.

Yes, HP Lovecraft was a Racist

Many of the reviewers on Amazon.com gave this book poor reviews because of references to racism and politics. The Mall of Cthulhu has plenty of references to HP Lovecraft as a racist / white supremacist. There’s no question that he was racist in real life. If there was any doubt, a little poem discussing the Gods creating African Americans should clear this issue up:

“…A beast they wrought, in semi-human figure, Filled it with vice, and called the thing a Nigger.”

- HP Lovecraft ‘On the Creation of Niggers’

Q.E.D. HP Lovecraft. Racist. But we can all agree that he wrote some amazing stories, and I don’t understand why it’s such a task to separate the artist from the art. Walt Disney,  Wesley Snipes, and Phil Spector might each have some whacked-out values that few sane people would agree with, but do we need to disclaimer all their art: Warning – Contents created by a nazi / tax dodger / psychotic, homicidal maniac! Of course not.

Seamus had the opportunity to show us by example that he didn’t approve of Lovecraft’s views by leaving that kind of segregation and hatred out of his own work. Instead, he chose to “hate the haters” and he created bad guys who weren’t bad enough because they were trying to destroy the world, they also had white supremacist pamphlets in their bathrooms, and called those opposed to their plans “Race traitors” (Huh? Wouldn’t it be more accurate to call people trying to destroy the world “Species traitors”?)

Whatever. I would have enjoyed the story more without the racial and political undertones. They were unnecessary and took away from the plot and humor of the story. But they didn’t ruin the story for me as they did for some people. If you are sensitive to these issues, beware. If you are secure in your political and racial views, then this book won’t upset you.

The Author – Seamus Cooper

You won’t find much online about Seamus Cooper. This interview of Seamus Cooper on brendanhalpin.com makes him out as a Luddite when it comes to the internet and a Harlan Ellison-ite about most everything else. But he seems to have come around since then, since he can now be found on Twitter and Facebook:

• Seamus Cooper on Facebook
• Seamus Cooper on Twitter

Free E-Book Sequel

Seamus has posted a free e-book sequel to The Mall of Cthulhu called Dog Walk Of The Dead, and depending on interest in the free e-book, he just might write/release more material for The Mall of Cthulhu mythos.

Free E-book of The Mall of Chtulhu

Due to a falling out with his publisher, Night Shade Books, Seamus decided to release The Mall of Cthulhu for free on Scribd, and for $2.99 on Amazon’s Kindle, in an attempt to undercut his unpaying publisher.  I can’t find either version now, 17 July 2010. This might be related to Seamus and Night Shade Books coming to some resolution, which you can read about here.

Yours Darkly,
-Conrad Zero

My magic 8-Ball tells me that there will be a Steampunk Themed Burlesque and Fashion Show at Station 4 in St. Paul, MN on Wed, 14 July 2010.

There are very few facts to back this prediction up. The listing at Station-4′s website only shows Abby Rhodes’ Psychedelic Spectacle starts at 8PM.Vita.mn agrees.

I suggest you pay attention around 10:15 to catch the fashion portion of the show, but if the 8-ball is correct, there should be plenty of steampunk a go-go to feast your goggles on.

If you know something about this event that the 8-Ball doesn’t, please drop it in the comments.

Yours Darkly,
-Zero

Fantastic.

http://www.joke-pages.com/jokes/images/org-calc.swf

To quote Marillion, “Thank God For the Internet.”

Blog on,
-CZ

Not sure if anyone told the Phantom Tails that there is no such thing as a Hunchback Whale, but then again, there’s no such thing as a Phantom Tail either.  (Then again, how would you know whether you had a phantom tail or not?)

You can decide for yourself on July 6, 2010 when their CD Sounds of the Hunchback Whale lands in stores.

Then, on Friday, 9 July 2010 the Phantom Tails take the stage at the Hexagon Bar in Minneapolis, MN for their CD Release Party.

If you can’t wait, just drop in on the Phantom Tails MySpace page and give a listen to some mid-fi, electronic-spiced, grungy-guitar goodness. There’s also some Phantom Tails stuff on youtube.

• Phantom Tails on MySpace
• Phantom Tails on Twitter

Touting itself as “The Largest One-Day Festival in the Midwest” Grand Old Day is best described as miles and miles of bands, art, beer and fair fare…and nowhere to park. My suggestion is to go there NOW and find a parking spot and hold it until the festival on Sunday. If you’re the entrepreneurial type, grab several parking spots and auction them off when Grand Old Day kicks into high gear.

Plenty of great Minnesota acts to catch here: Chooglin, Mark Mallman, Doomtree, Red Pens, Hookers & Blow, Jeremy Messersmith…and a bazillion unknowns.

The great thing about Grand Old Day is you can’t get lost. Just stay on Grand Ave and walk until you find something you like. I’d be surprised if you could make it the entire length of Grand Ave and back by the end of the festival. I’ve tried it before. BAD IDEA.

Admission is free.. BUT… To get into the “festival gardens” (read: areas where adult beverages are allowed) requires a $10 wristband. There might be a charge to get into some of the clubs along Grand Ave, but there’s so much going on outside the only reason to go inside is if it’s raining.

Check the online schedule of events here.

For those looking for a pdf of the event schedule to print out, some idiot thought it would be a good idea to place the pdf at some sucktasticly slow third-party website where you can’t download it without registering. I know. You’d probably be wiser to download the exact same pdf right here: Grand_Old_Day_2010_Event_Guide Looks like some kind of print sideways and fold it over thing. Don’t blame me, I just hack here.

And here’s list of social media hipster usuals:

• Grand Old Day on Facebook
• Grand Old Day on Twitter
• Grand Old Day on Myspace

It was around the middle of April when I turned “Pinky, The Invisible Flying Pony Who Saves The World” over to editing, and it was only last Valentine’s Day that the name “Pinky” was even decided. The first story just came back from the editor yesterday, and now here I am, kicking out a rough draft of the second story in what seems to be a (gasp!) SERIES. This installment is titled, “Pinky the Invisible Flying Pony Vs. The Giant, Carnivorous, Poisonous, Exploding, Spider-Leeches.”

Wow. Try fitting THAT on the spine of a book.

Anyway, the story is quite exciting, it has all the things you’d expect, like an Invisible Flying Pony, and Carnivorous, Exploding Spider-Leeches, and some things you would never expect, like  a High School Musical 2 Lunchbox and a Zamboni. I’ve uploaded the story for review at MN Spec, and I’ll send it out to my pre-reader fan club list. I suspect in a couple weeks, I’ll have incorporated their feedback, and Pinky2 will be ready for the editor.

I’ve given quite a bit of thought to the big picture for the series of Pinky stories. How many should I write? How long should they be? Should I release them all as free e-books? Should I compile them into a full-on hardcopy?

The answers might surprise you. All I can tell you for now is to stay tuned and spread the word, because fans will get more free stuff than you can shake a spider-leech at.

The Sound Unseen 2010 International Film and Music Festival

This year’s Sound Unseen International simply must be seen. Five days of film and music starting today, June 2nd and runs through the 6th.

Cool bands. Cool films. Cool films about cool band. Cool films about cool bands with cool band members hanging out in the lobby, scarfing all the free beer and apps.

I fear this much coolness in Minnesota in such a short period of time might cause it to snow in June. Good thing they’re holding it in Duluth.

A search for Sound Unseen online was frustrating. At first blush you might think the website soundunseen.com has been mostly abandoned. That’s until you discover the correct website is http://soundunseenduluth.com. They also have the requisite Facebook and Twitter pages. Or you can download the program and music schedules right here:

Sound Unseen 2010 Program

Sound Unseen 2010 Film and Music Schedule

World Premiere of Low Film Experience

A hypercool event going on at this year’s Sound Unseen is the world premiere screening of an experimental film by Philip Harder. It’s a kind of documentary about the local band Low…. wait a minute. It really isn’t a documentary… Well, they seem to sum it up best as a “Low Experience”:

Low Film by Phil Harder

Since Low’s debut in 1994 Philip Harder has been shooting cinematic 16mm films for the band: a boat on frozen Lake Superior, Baron Von Raschke with red balloons, a room collapsing in slow motion around the band… Several music videos and film shorts later all Harder’s raw footage of Low, 1994 to 2010 has been re-edited into a film with original on-camera sounds. Rarities, banned clips, and unfinished Low films were unearthed. This is not a compilation, not a documentary- but it definitely documents the Low experience. Perhaps Low’s version of a musical- of sorts… June 6th, closing night of Sound Unseen Duluth, NorShor Theater will once again be turned over to cinema for the “Low Movie”: a sneak preview in Low’s hometown! Maybe you can help us find a title for the film.
Just accept that it’s going to be amazing, and you might want to take the better part of next week off from work to contemplate it after you see experience it.

7:30PM Sunday, June 6th.

SACRED HEART MUSIC CENTER
201 West 4th Street
Duluth, MN 55806-2719
(218) 723-1895

Beyond Low – The Gala After-Party of Coolness (+4)

After the show, (around 9:30) make sure to check out the gala after-party:

Following the film, please join us at the Historic Greysolon Plaza – this time downstairs in their unique Moorish Room. Festival guests will be treated to a feast for the eyes courtesy of featured director/filmmaker Philip Harder’s film/art installation, in addition to complimentary appetizers from Black Woods Catering and free Schell’s beer and drink specials all evening. Entertainment for the evening comes from a band that has helped define the Twin Cities music scene, with 10 studio releases and over 16 years under their belt, we are more than proud to announce our special musical guests of the evening: The Honeydogs.

9:30PM Sunday, June 6th.

Greysolon Moorish Room
231 East Superior Street
Duluth, MN 55802-2165

Ticket Info

Ticket info for all events is here.

For the Low film/gala event, I’m told prices are $20for Film and Gala, $15 for Gala Only, and $10 for Film Only

A Warning To Those Pure Of Heart

The program doesn’t warn you, but be careful – Gay Witch Abortion’s music KILLS angels and incapacitates those pure of heart. You just might not be evil/wicked/cool enough to listen to them. If you think you are, then you probably aren’t.