Can't set your expectations much lower than this. The first Aliens Vs Predator was so Astonishingly bad, I had all but given up on the franchise(s).

100% of the the problem with both of these films is the writing. The original Alien and Predator franchises had interesting characters, and interesting character development, clever plots and plot twists to go with your monster SFX.

But in the first AVP, the plot was written by 9th grade boys who played Traveller while listening to Dio, and hadn't discovered girls yet. I think the original working title for AVP was "Robots Vs Dinosaurs!"

Sad to say, the second one isn't much better. I can't imagine how anyone signed off on the script for AVP-R, perhaps they thought it would be unique to have a bunch of teenagers doing stupid teenager things like, "Lets meet at the pool at midnight!" Did you really think people going to see this movie are interested in teenage relationships? Obviously not, because none of that shit showed up in the preview. Adding it in only reduces the film to another tired remake of Friday the 13th or Halloween.

Of course from a budgetary standpoint, it must be a lot cheaper to find teens who want to be in a movie and film them delivering pizza and getting into fights over the pretty girl...

But there was one advantage to watching a HALF AN HOUR of useless characters doing useless things: It made me happy to see them die. I cheered every time one of the stupid people got killed off, because that meant less contrived domestic / high school bullshit to get in the way of what SHOULD have been a decent horror / sci-fi flick.

The second half of the film can't quite make up for the first half, but if you come in an half an hour late, you will probably enjoy it more.

By the way, you might expect that if someone is going to fuck with the mythos, say for instance, by making an Alien/Predator hybrid, then you would think they might actually DO something with it. Don't count on it. It's just the FX department getting bored...

Art Is Resistance
-Zero

Labels: movie reviews