Um...

IT'S STILL DOWN!

Yep, the bridge is still busted, people are still dead, including my coworker's brother, you still can't cross the river there, and I hear the president wasted a bunch of jet fuel flying over the damage instead of logging onto cnn.com who made the bridge collapse their lead story for five straight days.

Open Letter to the President: Isn't jet fuel expensive? Should you really be so wasteful as to fly Air Force One out to Flyover Land just so you can gawk? Or is it that you've seen the media manipulate tragedies so often that you don't believe it unless you see it for yourself? Yeah, maybe the whole thing was photoshopped! Hell, if you're gonna take personal trips on the taxpayers dime, why don't you also swing by Wisconsin Dells on the way over? Hey, when you are in Minneapolis, stop by and pick up a copy of Jagged Spiral's "Days From Evil" and I'll sign it for you.

Open Letter to CNN: Five Fucking Days? Don't you have Anything Else to report? Aren't we at War someplace? Maybe there's some positive story you could focus on? Here's a story for you, why are people who get their news through CNN less informed than those who get their news through The Onion?

Open Letter to Gawkers: What are you looking for? Lend a hand or get the fuck out of the way.

Open Letter to Fans Of Jagged Spiral: I know this kind of tragedy has followed Jagged Spiral around in the past, but I assure you we had nothing to do with it. We were racking our brains trying to come up with a way to cash in on the tragedy like everyone else, but it looks like everyone's pretty much got it covered. I mean, politicians are using it to get some free press, and some people are even starting to run scams like this. Genius.

KTHXBYE,
-CZ

Labels: anti, Culture, Open Letter, Politics, rant