The film "Impaler" is mostly about Jonathon Sharkey, self proclaimed Hecate Witch, Satanic High Priest, and a Sangu...Sangwe... um, some kind of Vampire.

I've written about Jonathon Sharkey before, and attended the premier of "Impaler" on 30 May 2007 to get a better glimpse into this colorful character running for President in 2008.

Jonathan Sharkey is a pretty exciting guy. Besides being a Witch/Satanist/Vampire, he was a pro wrestler, a drill sergeant, and a race car driver. Jonathan isn't terribly well-spoken, and he tends to ramble a bit, but these things haven't kept others out of office, and Jonathan does have several things going for him. He isn't ever uncomfortable or nervous in front of the camera, and he does have an abundance of Moxie. Undoubtedly, his non-traditional party status, his former wrestling career, and his powerful charisma will get him more than one comparison to Jesse Ventura.

Unfortunately, the documentary "Impaler" did more damage than good to his potential governmental career. The filmmaker/director W. Trey White clearly has no idea what he's doing. The movie is not so much a 'documentary' as it is a cameraman without a tripod (or lights, or a good microphone) following Jonathan around for a while, taping stuff and then cutting the interesting bits together in more-or-less chronological order.

During the filming of "Impaler", Jonathan was arrested in Indiana and jailed for 175 days, Mr. White admitted that he didn't know what to do with his main character literally 'out of the picture', so he had the idea to interview other people who knew Jonathan. Just think, a documentary about a person with input from OTHER PEOPLE! Imagine what the movie would have been like if Jonathan hadn't been jailed.

Strangely, in this so-called 'Documentary', we never find out what Jonathon Sharkey currently does for income. There is No mention of any previous political experience. He mentions a political science degree, but does not tell us where he got it. There is also No mention of his 2004 campaign for the presidency, or his several failed attempts to be elected to congress. However, we do get to see his girlfriend drink his blood several times, which is ridiculous and pathetic. We get to see the cards made for Jonathan's girlfriend by the kids she drove to school before she lost her job, accompanied by sappy music, because...um, well... perhaps Mr. White was hoping that if you felt sorry for her, you might give Jonathan a sympathy vote. Oh yes, you also get to see Jonathan's girlfriend try to light her blood on fire...um, I really can't even try to justify that one...

Jonathan repeatedly asks us to 'ignore his beliefs', but that's difficult to do when more of the film was about his lifestyle and strange relationships than his political platform.

In the end, "Impaler" isn't about a man running for the presidency, it's a man's rebuttal to all the fucked up relationships and events in his past. The speech at the end of the movie confirms this.

I was disappointed with Mr. White's discussion after the premier. In part of the film, Jonathan asked Mr. White to turn the camera off, but he left it running, catching pieces of a conversation 'the audience wasn't meant to hear'. Right. Anyway, when asked about it, Mr. White said it wouldn't be right to censor the facts, because the audience deserved to hear the whole story. But not five minutes later, he admitted that Jonathan's children had said some incriminating things about Jonathan, and he felt that the children weren't being entirely honest, so it was decided to cut those accusations out of the movie. This proves that W. Trey White has a slanted sense of journalism, and isn't smart enough to hide it (like a real journalist.)

Jonathan Sharkey is an interesting, charismatic, angry and probably dangerous person, which makes him someone I want to have a beer with someday. I might even vote for him, I mean I voted for Jesse Ventura. His promise to Impale criminals is refreshing. (Although if you read this blog at all, you will know that as King of The United States, I have brought back 'Burning at the Stake' as a real punishment.)

Jonathan showed up at the premier with a large spear and threatened to impale W. Trey White if he found the movie "Impaler" mocked him in any way. I was surprised to find he allowed Mr White to live after seeing the movie.

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-CZ

Labels: movie reviews, Politics