I had heard that the humorous fantasy film, "An Inconvenient Truth" won at the Oscars (which I also just heard were last week, which also tells you how much I care.)

Much to my surprise, I found out it won Best Documentary, which does not make sense to me, since it wasn't Best, and it wasn't a Documentary. I saw enough of it to tell you that a bunch of facts stacked adjacent to each other with a cause-and-effect relationship implied, and humorous quotes between them does not a 'documentary' make.

For example, is the following a documentary, yes or no?


...Now we know that Anna Nicole Smith died the other day, AND she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast the day before she died. Let me repeat that, because it bears repeating.

It is a scientific fact that she ate Count Chocula cereal for breakfast.

It is a scientific fact that she died the next day.

Now I think we all can see what's going on here, and wasn't it Confucius who said, 'Man who stick hand in pocket feel cocky?' [laughs] ...


Don't misundertake me, the lifestyle of your average Americans needs cleaning up. We need to reduce pollution, at both the business and the consumer levels. People need to be aware of their 'Global Footprint'.

But anyone who tells you they have Scientific Proof of Global Warming or Cooling needs to get a few million years of reliable data before they can even be taken seriously. How do you know that the earth is not on the way back to normal from a temperature fluxuation that started a half million years ago?

The answer? You Don't. And YOU want to fuck with the global thermostat? Keep your fucking hands Off!

Pollution is another matter. You can measure pollutant levels objectively, and we can talk rationally about what causes them, and how to reduce them. You can make a law against world-polluting products like this. But don't show pictures of baby birds and a graph showing the decline in the Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker populations to try guilting everyone into buying a Ford Hybrid.

To put scientific facts next to each other and imply a relationship for your own purposes is Evil, and only works on stupid people. [Editors Note: Perhaps stupid people are the target audience?] It is still Evil EVEN IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE FOR GOOD.

Gandalf the Grey knew this:


"Don't tempt me Frodo! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine..."


See? Gandalf knows shit. Be like Gandalf, and not like Emoman.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: americans, Cultural Observation