11:05 - Called Belkin tech support. After navigating the phone push-button menu hell which was designed for those not paid by the hour, I was placed into the waiting que. The great thing about being on hold with Tech Support is that I can do almost anything and it still counts as work (to me, anyways). That includes internet research...

11:47 - The words "Your call is important to us" have burned into my brain along with the smooth jazz music to create a kind of annoying emo song that I am certain I could sell to Dashboard Confessional, I'm sure they would play it exactly the way it sounds in my head, and I'm sure I would hate it royally.

12:09 - Much to my surprise, someone answers the phone.

Belkin Tech Support Dude 1: "So what is the problem?"

Me: "The new, Belkin Gigabit Ethernet card model F5D5005 wont connect to the network switch at one Gig speed."

Tech1: "A gig?"

Me: "Yeah, one thousand Meg. It will only connect at 100 Meg. I've downloaded the latest drivers..."

Tech1: "Um, what internet service provider do you have?"

Me: "This has nothing to do with my internet service provider, I can't connect to the network switch at one gig speed."

Tech1: "Network?"

Me: "Yes, this is a business, we have a network, and the card will only connect to the switch at 100 meg. Not at one Gig, like it's supposed to."

Tech1: "Hmm. Well, if you could tell me your internet service provider..."

Me: "This problem is not related to the internet, it's the configuration of the card or the driver software. Our internet service provider can't help you."

Tech1: "I'm sorry, I can't process a ticket without knowing your internet service provider."

Me: "Sure. Fine. My internet service provider is a company called 'N Slash A'. That's 'N' as in Nancy..."

Tech1: "Could you hold please?"

12:09 - Put back on hold.

12:11 - New support person Tech2. Redescribed problem. He asked what OS I was running.

12:13 - Put back on hold.

12:15 - New tech support person.
Tech3: "Are you sure the hub you are trying to connect to is a gigabit hub?"

Me: "Yes, it's a Belkin Gigabit 8-port switch, model F5D5141-8. I have five other people connected to it at one Gig, so I know it works."

Tech3: "Hold on."

12:16 - back on hold. I'm wondering at this point if they realize that I'm enjoying the quiet time they are giving me. At least three people poked their head in and the speakerphone pumping out smooth jazz and assurances of how bloody important my call is keep them all at bay. Good thing I called so early in the day. I've completely caught up on all my e-mail, news, and blogs at this point. Even sent an e-mail request to Belkin's online tech support to see if the e-mail support might be faster, which would be kind of funny.

12:20 - Just about to try validating playing sugarcrash at work when an voice rudely interrupts my websurfing.

Tech4: "What I want you to do is to uninstall and reinstall the card please."

Me: "I already did that."

Tech4: "I know, but sometimes these things just get screwed up, and uninstalling then reinstalling fixes the problem."

Me: (internally - 'Um, that's why I already tried it...') "Sure. Fine. I need to go get a screwdriver, can you hold on?"

Tech4: "Yes."

12:24 - Tech4 is on hold as I look for a screwdriver. I couldn't find one in the bathroom, (although I did take the opportunity to use the facilities and wash my hands. Twice.) Also could not find a screwdriver in the breakroom, although someone had left some orange juice in the fridge, so that was pretty close. I settled for a Diet Coke.

12:28 - Finally found a screwdriver in my office, and returned to the computer and (surprisingly) tech4, still on hold.

Me: "Are you still there?"

Tech4: "Mmm Hmm."

12:30 - I proceed to remove the card, restart the computer, remove and reload the drivers. Shutdown, insert the card, restart the computer. The problem is still there.

12:45 - back on hold

12:48 - Another tech (not tech4 or tech1, but possibly tech2) tells me the card is bad, and they are sending another one. I can't wait, because the problem is not with the card, and I could use another hour of relaxing 'tech support time'...


Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: A Day In The Life, Business Phenomena