I hate being right.

The heat of the weekend found me cowering on the couch next to the air conditioner with a bowl of Peppermint Ice Cream, and a handful of movies picked out by someone else, of which, King Kong seemed a reasonable time waster. I had refused to see King Kong in the theatres for two reasons: First it is a story about a giant ape. Second, I was concerned that it would be long, CG-laden, and primarily about a giant ape.

Like I said, I hate being right.

Not to say that King Kong wasn't exciting. No no, there was adventure-a-plenty, I assure you, but...

...have you Ever gotten Bored during a Monster Fight Scene? Well watch King Kong, and then you will. Over and over.

Here is a tip (and after watching LOTR, I Never thought I would have to give Tips to Peter Jackson) - just because you have access to a top notch CG department good does Not mean that every CG scene rendered needs to be in the movie.

It seems Peter Jackson's philosophy is 'screw the pacing, the fight scene / chase scene / bug scene / Naomi Watts closeup scene takes as long as it takes!' That's a great philosophy for your first sexual encounter, but not for movies. Well, not for Good movies anyways.

I lost count of how many people died trying to save Naomi Watts, but I gotta say, she ain't worth it. I also lost count of how many times she fell down in the movie, but that was far, far, far, far, far, far, far outnumered by the number of times she stared blankly towards the camera, trying to convey some kind of emotion through telekenesis and not through facial expressions. It never did work, but they tried. Oh, how they tried. Over and over and over they tried, and then they tried some more.

Well, to be fair, sometimes she looked to the *right* of the camera and sometimes she looked to the *left* of the camera, which was a nice attempt to break up the monotony. It didn't work, but it was a nice try.

I give King Kong a 3.5 out of 10. All in all, the movie that is too big for its britches. Cut the budget in half, cut the script in half, cut the running time in half, cut Naomi Watts in half, and replace her with an actress with the ability to convey emotion, and trade King Kong for Godzilla, and then you will have a far better movie.

Oh yes, the last line of the movie? I won't spoil it for you, and I'm guessing it's from the book, but it would have been a wise choice to remove that line from the movie. That line is so dumb, that removing it could have raised my review score one whole point.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: movie reviews