I stopped in at the drugstore (S.A.) in order to score (purchase) some non-prescription uppers (Jolt Cherry Bomb Cola) and in the middle of negotiations (while standing in line at the checkout) some strange cat (dude) bursts in the door, and in a casually-cruel tone directed at the two ladies behind the counter says, "Your fucking gas pumps don't work for shit, so I'm taking my business someplace else."

His attitude was so leisurely about the whole thing, and the women's reaction to it was so mild, I thought they must know him from somewhere. I laughed, and so did both ladies behind the counter and the two other people in line. Then the guy turned and stormed out. I turned to the person behind the counter and she just shook her head. I still couldn't tell exactly what had just happened. Maybe he was a mentally disturbed person making his daily circuit? Perhaps it was a coworker, trying to be funny? An out-of-work Improv actor who, at any moment, would come bursting back in with another strange persona?

"Was that guy serious?" I asked, still smiling.

"Afraid so," was the reply.

My smile faded. Strange how she wasn't surprised at all. "How, um, how often does *that* happen?"

"Every day."

"Yeah," the other lady chimed in, "at *least* once a day."

I suddenly felt the way I imagine Neo felt swallowing the red pill and having the veil of falseness ripped out from between himself and the rest of the world. Except maybe divide that by a couple million, but still... At least once per day, some dickhead takes out their aggression on the people behind the counter? AT LEAST ONCE PER DAY? Wow. This is what I'm talking about when I use the term Americans as a derogatory adjective.

If you have bad service, or receive bad product, or have a bad experience at a business, here are some things you can do that Don't entail wrecking the day of someone right out of High School who works for minimum wage and has to deal with dickheads like You all day...

1- Write a letter. Leave a letter for the manager, and let them know what a bad experience you had. This assumes you know how to write, you dickhead.

2- Send an e-mail. This assumes you have access to a computer, or at least a friend who has access to a computer. If you weren't such a dickhead, you might actually have some friends who would help you with this.

3- Ask to see the manager, and ask him/her what he/she is going to do about this problem. This is a huge pain in the ass, I know. But, the manager is the only one who gets paid to give a crap about making complaining dickheads like you happy. The manager is also the only one who might give a crap and do something about your complaint. Otherwise you are wasting your breath. The people behind the counter just laugh at you. The ones who aren't dickheads themselves will wait until after you are gone to laugh at you.

4- Don't Patronize That Place of Business. This one is the easiest, and even a dickhead like you should be able to pull this one off.

5- Don't Patronize That Place of Business and Tell Everyone You Know Not To Patronize It Either. I was recently at the CC Club and watched some positively Horrendous service in action from two separate bartenders. I know of some people (non-dickheads, in case you were wondering) who are going to #5 that place big time.

6 - Realize That There Are Other Dickheads In The World Besides Yourself, And Some Of Them Work In The Customer Service Industry. And you might just hold back judgement of an entire business based on your experience with one person. Just like everyone else should hold back judgement of your family based on their experience with a dickhead like you.

Every fucking day. Wow.

Blog on,
-CZ

Labels: americans, anti, Business Phenomena, Etiquette