Well, I was just going to write Dan Brown a scathing e-mail, with all kinds of nasty language and accuasations of plagarism.

>Four persons murdered around a city in a pattern.

Wow, that's not new. I'm sure that's been done before, and I've seen a map of a pentagram drawn over cities so often in movies that I actually make fun of it in my book...

>by a secret religious cult

Again, nothing new. Matter of fact, they are the ones most likely to bother murdering people in a pattern around a city, right? Almost cliche
...

>each of the murder victims marked with a symbol

...well of course they are marked with a symbol, they are dedicated to some greater cause. Of course the bodies are marked. Goes without saying....

>representing the four elements of air, earth, fire, and water.

Um, wow. That's cutting it kind of close. I mean...wow.

OK, so it's at this point that I start the e-mail to Dan Brown, that is so flaming hot I have to turn on the air conditioning in the house. I'm on the verge of throwing inanimate objects. I'm looking up Mr. Brown's address, and saving for a plane ticket. I have been working on The Demonslayers Handbook for TWO FUCKING YEARS, and how dare he swipe a major plot point from my work....

...except for one thing. Angels and Demons was published in 2000, and I started on The Demonslayers Handbook in 2004.

Great. So two years of work just got fucked because Mr. Brown had the idea four years earlier. Who will possibly believe that I came up this plot concept on my own?

No one.

This has suddenly become one of the saddest days of my life.

Fuck You, Dan Brown. I know it's not your fault, but Fuck You anyways...

Sincerely,
-Conrad Zero

Labels: Open Letter, The Demonslayers Handbook, Writing